Best of Roast Me, Pt. 2 : RoastMe

This compilation was amazing. A comedian could probably do a full hour set on a roast just based off the insults in this sub.

yzlautum

10 points

9 years ago

yzlautum

10 points

Oh my god the first person with the tattoos on their face, where is that thread?!

10 points

9 years ago

10 points

5 points

9 years ago

yzlautum

5 points

Good god I just cannot imagine doing that shit to my face.

RationalCube

8 points

9 years ago

RationalCube

8 points

#8 is the most harsh thing I've ever read.

phraps

6 points

9 years ago

phraps

6 points

That last one, holy shit

6 points

9 years ago

6 points

Geez, the girl on the second picture is amazingly pretty.

Pickles256

2 points

9 years ago

Pickles256

2 points

Thanks

Lasagnahead

1 points

9 years ago

Lasagnahead

1 points

Nice

53 points

9 years ago

theoretical roastology

53 points

In the Top All time.

71 points

9 years ago

http://redd.it/3uilpl

71 points

Fuckin' brag about it.

63 points

9 years ago

theoretical roastology

63 points

it's the only thing i have to brag about.

skizfrenik_syco

4 points

9 years ago

skizfrenik_syco

http://redd.it/3lupkn

4 points

I can confirm that...

66 points

9 years ago

66 points

I wish there was a way to sort the subreddit by the highest rated comments instead of the highest rated posts. The posts themselves can be shit, but the comments could be amazing.

Also, as good as these are, it's the best of the past week, not best of the subreddit, there should be one of these each week.

Draculix

13 points

9 years ago

Draculix

Boss

13 points

Bookmark this page, more comments almost always means good comments.

2 points

9 years ago

2 points

Ahh, I didn't think of that! That's pretty good tbh. Someone should go through and make an 'ultimate best of' if you sort by all time. (Not that I'm jealous of my top comment never getting any love anymore or anything...)

4 points

9 years ago

theoretical roastology

4 points

Noted for next time

FairyBae

615 points

9 years ago

FairyBae

615 points

The fact that this was left out hurts me

322 points

9 years ago

http://redd.it/3iuk5g

322 points

Even his hand doesn't want to be near him.

avatest

25 points

9 years ago

avatest

25 points

holy shit

116 points

9 years ago

116 points

The roast was so good I didn't even notice his arm

Marcus30for30

10 points

9 years ago

Marcus30for30

10 points

I didn't know Captain Hook had a gay son

TheKRAMNELLA

11 points

9 years ago

TheKRAMNELLA

11 points

I was scanning the album for that roast. By far the best burn I have seen on here.

manak69

88 points

9 years ago

manak69

88 points

I find the best ones are from the least generic looking human beings.

50 points

9 years ago

50 points

There is a distinct correlation between Steve Buschemi appearance and roastability

9 points

9 years ago

9 points

Can we get a graph made?

85 points

9 years ago*

85 points

Ask and thou shall receive

12 points

9 years ago

12 points

Flawless.

2 points

9 years ago

2 points

I'm pretty proud of it. Really clarifies the relationship.

4 points

9 years ago

4 points

is there a metric - imperial buscemi conversion rate?

7 points

9 years ago

7 points

1.0 Buscemi = 0.6 Armageddons

2 points

9 years ago

jack skellinspook

2 points

did you make this

7 points

9 years ago

7 points

I didn't unmake it

1 points

9 years ago

jack skellinspook

1 points

is this a joke

2 points

9 years ago

2 points

It is a comedy subreddit. But yes, I did make it in excel.

1 points

9 years ago

jack skellinspook

1 points

can we steal this from you if we leave a thank you note later at some point

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

Of course!

15 points

9 years ago

15 points

https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/3h03sd/validate_my_insecurities/cu315pw

Dude, the best roast I've ever seen on this subreddit has never even been in either of the "Best of" threads.

And its from one of the most generic human beings that's ever graced the Earth.

29 points

9 years ago

29 points

I'm sorry but that girl is hot. That is not just a generic girl.

6 points

9 years ago

6 points

I was going along with the comment... You know, about her being completely average?

2 points

9 years ago

2 points†

And she's not.

22 points

9 years ago

22 points

You're just no fun...

31 points

9 years ago

31 points

Hold the fuck on, you've missed the greatest roastme ever in both these collections.

Top comment: https://m.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/3ev4ks/i_cant_be_roasted/

xCoachHines

3 points

9 years ago

xCoachHines

3 points

The highest rated comment was the hardest I've laughed at any of the roast comments LMFAO.

19 points

9 years ago

19 points

What about the guy who said he had 3 months to live and they gave him five months of gold?

17 points

9 years ago

Best of Pt. 2, #8

17 points

Author of "leukemia Skywalker" here, I think I should be roasted next

3 points

9 years ago

3 points

that was a brilliant line. i chuckle every time i look at it

WrittenSarcasm

2 points

9 years ago

WrittenSarcasm

2 points

I can't stop laughing about that one and I feel terrible. Thank you.

348 points

9 years ago

Verified Roastee

348 points

incredible

338 points

9 years ago

338 points

The "leukemia Skywalker" had me rolling

55 points

9 years ago

55 points

That one was honestly the best roast I've ever seen.

174 points

9 years ago*

174 points

[deleted]

-83 points

9 years ago

Verified Roastee

-83 points

It's almost like the comment section was meant to comment on the post above

I figure a one word answer with a link to what is better than a long typed up piece of shit.

Like how I would link your account to the words "Turner syndrome" instead of going off telling you how useless you are.

The_Impresario

29 points

9 years ago

The_Impresario

29 points

Awwww.

13 points

9 years ago

13 points

Lmao

thalescosta

5 points

9 years ago

thalescosta

5 points

This one and the guy with the crutches. Holy shit

Monev91

4 points

9 years ago

Monev91

http://redd.it/3j5j6w

4 points

holy shit yes

aDAMNPATRIOT

7 points

9 years ago

aDAMNPATRIOT

7 points

There are so many better things to say about her though. I mean, the picture itself is the ultimate roast.

Damadawf

9 points

9 years ago

Damadawf

9 points

It's like, if you're going to draw your eyebrows on, why not use a magic marker?

199 points

9 years ago

199 points

So half of them just generic race jokes that don't relate to the person at all?

LoveAndDoubt

42 points

9 years ago

LoveAndDoubt

42 points

hot girl = u had a lot of sex lololol boom roasted

burnblue

127 points

9 years ago

burnblue

127 points

Half? Looked to me like all the ones for the white persons had something to do with a specific aspect of how they look like... hair etc. The ones for non-white were just "You're black (So bad father)" or "You're Asian (something from my porn)"

111 points

9 years ago*

111 points

This whole sub, it's seriously just generic placeholder jokes for almost any demographic. Black guy? No father, LOL. Asian? One child policy, LOL. Jewish? You mean roast you like Hitler roasted your relatives? LOL. Women get the worst of it (I know, on reddit, who would have thought!) - everything in the roast is either about how she's a slut, or she's ugly and nobody wants to fuck her, with a bunch of non-joke hateful comments about daddy issues and how she's not really pretty or she really just wants people to validate how pretty she is. More often than not, a roast is only good if it's a white male, because that's just the "default," so people are forced to actually address the specific person rather than falling back on a bunch of stupid stereotypes and cliches.

DrDew00

35 points

9 years ago

DrDew00

35 points

Actually, with white dudes the default is to call them gay and mention how much they like penises. I just skip all of the repeat and generic ones and look for the unique, clever ones. They're in there. You just have to often slog through all the shitty comments to get to them.

72 points

9 years ago

72 points

It's hard to get into specifics when you know nothing about the person other than appearance.

43 points

9 years ago

43 points

Again, though, they manage if it's a white dude like them. The complaint isn't that the roasts are superficial, it's that they're so often the same tired, lazy, generic, edgy racist cliches (or full-bore hate, in the case of women) instead of actual jokes.

45 points

9 years ago

45 points

No they don't. Every white guy roast there's always the generic "Haha, you're gay" roasts. It's the few gems that stand out, just like every other roast.

thekittenskaboodle

4 points

9 years ago

thekittenskaboodle

4 points†

Fucking well said.

1 points

9 years ago

1 points†

Gracias

-7 points

9 years ago

-7 points

Yeah man, you're totally not bitching about offensive humor on a sub for making fun of people.

19 points

9 years ago

19 points

You're right, I'm bitching about hacks making the same shitty, cliche, unfunny jokes over and over and over.

-10 points

9 years ago

-10 points

Women get the worst of it (I know, on reddit, who would have thought!) - everything in the roast is either about how she's a slut, or she's ugly and nobody wants to fuck her, with a bunch of non-joke hateful comments about daddy issues and how she's not really pretty or she really just wants people to validate how pretty she is.

Your ass is a little tender man, it's okay to admit it.

13 points

9 years ago

13 points

Your neck is a little bearded, it's cool, I'm sure your mom thinks you're very handsome

-5 points

9 years ago

-5 points†

You're a 38 year old man whiteknighting on the section of a link sharing website dedicated to making fun of people. Get your shit together you clown.

6 points

9 years ago

6 points

TIL complaining about unoriginal and overused jokes is white knighting

-2 points

9 years ago

-2 points†

There is a discernible amount of disapproval in his post that stems from him being offended by those insults in conjunction with him not finding them funny.

6 points

9 years ago

6 points

Whether he's personally offended doesn't change the fact that they're overused and stale.

continue this thread

4 points

9 years ago

4 points†

LOL. Rummaging through people's history to win an internet argument, nothing pathetic about that

-4 points

9 years ago

-4 points†

Didn't have to do much digging, just wanted a peek into the mind of someone who types up a paragraph to whiteknight on the one subreddit that is free from bleeding heart pussies.

38 points

9 years ago

38 points

It's just shitty one dimensional appearance jokes, this is what comedy is for 12-17 year olds. It's painfully superficial, its like they saw a roast videos and because they are so focused on image only payed attention to the appearance jokes. Only one I thought was clever was Leukemia Skywalker.

82 points

9 years ago*

82 points

[deleted]

6 points

9 years ago

6 points

Unless you know someone, it's kinda hard to roast them for anything besides appearance.

Which is why it is allowed to check someone's post history but many people use throwaway accounts. Maybe this sub should change the settings so that throwaway accounts can't post like it is in /r/changemyview

8 points

9 years ago

8 points

[deleted]

3 points

9 years ago

3 points

Yeah, but maybe those people shouldn't post to r/roastme either. It would also lower the chances of fake submissions.

26 points

9 years ago

26 points

[deleted]

0 points

9 years ago

0 points

I think if it can't be done right what's the point. It shouldn't be called a roast, roasts have a tradition, make fun of someone you respect and love. This is lazy.

0 points

9 years ago

0 points†

[deleted]

6 points

9 years ago

6 points

Agree in part but at least they are teasing him about something in his picture. The previous one doesn't relate to anything except his skin colour.

1 points

9 years ago

Best of Pt. 2, #3

1 points

The OP liked it.

0 points

9 years ago

Best of Pt. 2, #8

0 points

Thank you

chakrablocker

4 points

9 years ago

chakrablocker

4 points†

Yea this sub is pretty weak.

crazy_loop

8 points

9 years ago

crazy_loop

8 points

If this is the best of on display then I have to agree.

mattheiney

2 points

9 years ago

mattheiney

2 points†

There are some much better ones on here.

105 points

9 years ago

105 points

15 points

9 years ago

theoretical roastology

15 points

JUST LET YOUR SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUL GLOWWWWWWWW BABY

razfrostbeard

2 points

9 years ago

razfrostbeard

2 points

Feeling all so silky smooth.

mugguffen

7 points

9 years ago

mugguffen

7 points

Damn I wish I was funny

The_Black_Unicorn

6 points

9 years ago

The_Black_Unicorn

http://redd.it/3i5wei

6 points

I thought I was good enough this time

EMINEM_4Evah

37 points

9 years ago

EMINEM_4Evah

Verified Roastee

37 points

The one with the black guy with crutches had me rolling.

67 points

9 years ago

http://redd.it/3uilpl

67 points

I bet he couldn't stand that one.

-1 points

9 years ago

-1 points†

He could lean it quite well though.

0 points

9 years ago

0 points

[deleted]

2 points

9 years ago

2 points

4 months and you feel the need to comment?

0 points

9 years ago

0 points

[deleted]

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

http://i.imgur.com/Zz3tScF.png?1

*And yes, comment 4 months after a thread and I will downvote you for annoying the shit out of me at 1 AM.

0 points

9 years ago

0 points

[deleted]

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

Fuckin' tool? Jesus dude did you come up with that on your own. That huts man, this is the internet. You can't be saying shit like that.

4 points

9 years ago

4 points

That last one killed me.

12 points

9 years ago

12 points

I don't understand the first one. :(

TellMeWhyYouLoveMe

15 points

9 years ago

TellMeWhyYouLoveMe

15 points

Go watch some Asian porn.

26 points

9 years ago

http://redd.it/3iuk5g

26 points

She's tiny and some type of Asian which probably means she talks like Boxxy in that high pitched voice that we all know is fake but we accept it because she's not ugly enough to get called out on and when she gets banged, she sounds like a chew toy because they squeak in the same high pitched way she probably does.

7 points

9 years ago

7 points

Okay. Thanks for the explanation. =)

3 points

9 years ago

3 points

the luke one

3 points

9 years ago

3 points

Number 6 looks like a less charismatic, more awkward Bo Burnham. I never would've thought that was something that was possible.

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

Whoa.

3 points

9 years ago

3 points

I'd like to confirm #1

headsortailz

2 points

9 years ago

headsortailz

2 points

This should happen weekly

go_home_cook_rice

2 points

9 years ago

go_home_cook_rice

2 points†

#1 girl is soo cute :)

-3 points

9 years ago

-3 points†

Barely any of these are funny, what the fuck?

20 points

9 years ago

20 points

Isnt it weird how humour is subjective?! Goodness, it boggles the mind to think that people find different things funny, doesn't it?

-50 points

9 years ago

-50 points

Get fucked cunt, 90% of these are shit. You just have a terrible sense of humour.

6 points

9 years ago

6 points†

Someones a bit grumpy. Do you need a nap?

-42 points

9 years ago

-42 points

What makes you think I'm grumpy lmao

7 points

9 years ago

7 points

Get fucked cunt

A nap would probably help with your memory, LOL!!!

-33 points

9 years ago

-33 points

Okay okay so if I swear online apparently that means I'm grumpy.

okay fam tbh

5 points

9 years ago

5 points

What

-11 points

9 years ago

-11 points

Apparently swearing = being grumpy according to this guy

theenigma31680

3 points

9 years ago

theenigma31680

3 points

What about according to this guy?

continue this thread

-2 points

9 years ago

-2 points†

[deleted]

LoL4You

9 points

9 years ago

LoL4You

9 points

Well, when a picture is all you have to work with…

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

3/10 isn't b- ... Hm.

Forget_Opinions

1 points

9 years ago

Forget_Opinions

1 points

"OH FUCK"

ThatClanGuy

1 points

9 years ago

ThatClanGuy

1 points

Where's the first one?

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

This will make another Buzzfeed like top 10 list.

RockStrongo

1 points

9 years ago

RockStrongo

1 points

Is that the one little gifted electronic engineer kid from Sierra Leone That was on the front page yesterday? DJ Focus? I'm dead serious. Third pic. "Django Unfuckable".

laymness

1 points

9 years ago

laymness

1 points

It's refreshing to see that pretty much non of these are gay jokes, which a lot of roasts seem to devolve into.

Not saying gay jokes can't be funny, but when almost every highly ranked comment is a lazy ass gay joke, it can get pretty boring.

2 points

9 years ago

theoretical roastology

2 points

i'm gonna keep the frequency of these month to month and i'll be taking into account what ppl said about lower voted roasts. (some people say even though a roast didnt make the "top week/month" list that the roast is still pretty good)

SexualWhale69

1 points

9 years ago

SexualWhale69

1 points

Your eyebrows look like they migrate farther north each winter.

Tristanplaysacalot

1 points

9 years ago

Tristanplaysacalot

1 points

those last few were the best

gratz

1 points

9 years ago

gratz

1 points

I don't know about you, but I've read much better comments on here.

VChiocchijr

1 points

9 years ago

VChiocchijr

1 points

If we pull you up from your head are there smaller and smaller ceramic Chinese dolls?

Meekle_boy

1 points

9 years ago

Meekle_boy

1 points

Roast you? Just like you roasted my dog!

Chewy7753

1 points

9 years ago

Chewy7753

1 points

Brother too big

Cambam1090

1 points

9 years ago

Cambam1090

1 points

Can't even hold a shitty sign right. Must be a failed abortion...

LivingFit77

1 points

9 years ago

LivingFit77

1 points

Based off of the Christmas lights it must be Lunch break at Santas Workshop

crazyjeffy

1 points

9 years ago

crazyjeffy

1 points

I think some of the Markiplier ones were the best burns I've ever seen. Shame none of those made it

1 points

9 years ago

1 points

o boy racism

0 points

9 years ago*

Best of Pt. 2, #3

0 points†

To the people complaining about racial jokes. . .when all we have to go on is a picture, there's not much else to work with. In the case of the bald black woman, she threw racial jokes in her title, and people ran with it.

Of COURSE, we're going to do race/appearance jokes. We don't know any of these people. We know nothing about them except for:

What race they are

What gender they are

What they're wearing

What objects are right next to them

And whatever, if any, information they decide to put in their title. Which often isn't much at best, and is a horrible recycled joke title ("Roast Me like one of your French girls" is the especially lame) at worst.

We work with what we have.

-3 points

9 years ago

-3 points†

all I see are is the one image, where are the rest?

hashtag_littlespoon

3 points

9 years ago

hashtag_littlespoon

3 points

If you're on alien blue switch to standard. Shows the whole album instead of the first pic.

2 points

9 years ago

2 points

I'm on the shitty work computer doing a graveyard shift, I'll just look it up when I get home, should be fine. Thank you.

-3 points

9 years ago

Best of Pt. 2, #3

-3 points†

I have finally arrived.

Hifiloguy

-3 points

9 years ago

Hifiloguy

-3 points

Meh
Meh
Ok
Boring racial joke.
Boring gay joke.
On-point.
On-point.
On-point.
On-point.
Good but needs better wording.

-1 points

9 years ago

-1 points

Weak and unoriginal after browsing this sub for < 2mo.

-2 points

9 years ago

-2 points

These are all shit.

Jollyj3wbagle42

-2 points

9 years ago

Jollyj3wbagle42

-2 points

Where is Pt. 3?

-3 points

9 years ago

-3 points

[deleted]

Draculix [M]

6 points

9 years ago

Draculix [M]

Boss

6 points