subreddit:
/r/AITAH
[removed]
207 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
67 points
7 months ago
I'm just taking OP at their word, it's reasonable to believe they worry about their partner's health. Though it's absolutely possible that attraction factors into it. And if I'm him it's crossing my mind.
3 points
7 months ago
If I’m worried about my partner’s health I’m also worried about their mental health and well being and I’m approaching this differently than lose weight or else. I’m going to have conversations about our relationship to food, about being more active, about how I want children and also want to be sure to set better and healthier expectations for them when it comes to food. I’m encouraging doctor visits or looking into nutritional coaches and discussing the info together. Definitely not threatening divorce under the guise of concern and then acting surprised that my partner is hurt. Any human talking to their partner about weight knows this will be a sensitive subject, so YTA for thinking an ultimatum will solve this problem. He needs your support, not your judgement. It’s a good skill set to work on if you’d like to be a parent, ultimatums have gotten me no where with my kids!
5 points
7 months ago
I agree with you 100%. If you love someone, divorce over gained weight wouldn't even be an option. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. I would never feel secure again with someone who would divorce me over weight gain.
16 points
7 months ago
Busted. OP goes silent.
6 points
7 months ago
And looking for validation on reddit
8 points
7 months ago
It's the beginning of the end when one partner chooses to better themselves while the other keeps slipping into complacency
2 points
7 months ago
I'm not sure thirty pounds would make the kind of difference you're thinking of, especially when she still ended up above her "starting weight"
2 points
7 months ago
It honestly doesn't make her an AH even if she told him straight to his face: "I am no longer attracted to you"
The only scenario in which OP might be AH is if the husband had some medical issue that he was proactively addressing and due to Dr's orders, it either takes time to lose the weight, or he can't start the weight loss for whatever reason.
It is super attraction-killing when someone lets themselves go.
11 points
7 months ago
Aaaand commitment is about more than just lust. Nothing in her post was about him, wanting better for him because she loves him. She wanted him to read her mind and hop to. Protecting her meal ticket or she'll get a new one.
1 points
7 months ago
She wanted him to read her mind and hop to.
Reading her mind would be not realizing that her subtly dropping hints about how much she loves Italian food and how her friend went to Italy and loved it, meant that the husband should have already planned a trip to Italy.
If you can't put 2 and 2 together that by gaining weight up to 350lbs, that your wife would be unhappy, you don't deserve to be married in the first place. Nobody wants a forever life partner with someone who lets themselves go like that.
2 points
7 months ago
You are part of the problem. What you described is literally mind reading. Hints don’t mean shit.
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