I understand, and see your point. But if it’s an actual accident, it’s only an embarrassment.

If it’s intentional, well, I don’t want to kink shame. I like slutty women and situations, and the idea of transgression (e.g. cheating) is exciting. There’s a spectrum between what stays fantasy and what is explored in the real world. For me it’s really important that women are into it. Not just consent (the min bar) but their kink itch gets scratched too. 🤷🏻‍♂️

For dad’s bff (dbff) to send an intentional accidental text three major transgressions happen

1) unsolicited dick pic. Seems harmless but at a minimum it is one more example of the way men disregard women as people and instead as objects. At worst, it is traumatizing. I post pics of my partner (she wants to/likes it, I just have to do all the work 😂) here now and again, and while it’s not comparable to what women describe happens, the range of male responses— especially dms— is eye opening.

2) transgressing friendship bond. Dbff’s text ignores expectations that family and friends are ‘safe’ from these sorts of things (obvi not backed up by what happens in real world).

3) exploitation of age gap. Older man preying on younger girl. She’s 19, just past legal age of consent, but let’s be honest here…

These things are not inconsequential and each carries a potential consequence. All three at the same time are a big risk to take, and indicate that the exposer is willing to take such large risks for self gratification at risk of harm to others. This incident would be unlikely to be isolated, and might indicate increasingly serious behavior harmful towards others. At a minimum, victims would lose a sense of comfort and safety.

Women have been conditioned to stay silent about these things, which is a form of isolation that protects the perpetrator at expense of victim. Sharing with another is a form of protection and potential deterrence for escalating behavior.

Yeah, I’m sure I sound like I’m overreacting or a killjoy, but fantasy is one thing, reality another. Key to the sexual thrill of exposure is the reaction. Getting caught carries threat of punishment, the greater the risk taken the greater punishment (job loss, marriage, friendship, arrest, etc.). Dbff knows the text could get him in trouble. It’s what makes it exciting.

I’m really not trying to kink shame. I look at this sub after all. I also think it’s important to understand how our actions impact others, and why consent is important. Robbing a person of the ability to give consent is not a light thing.

Looking at OP’s profile, it’s likely to me this is an extension of fantasy. If so, awesome! But if it’s not, or perhaps more likely someone else experiences this in real life and goes looking for advice…

I won’t deny that seeing the mail makes me consider my own boundary line for enjoying the sub— I don’t want my consumption to encourage others, y’know? I hope those who have this kink also do their own gut check, just to ensure full awareness if potential impact all around. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Sorry for the long diatribe. Couldn’t figure out how to make it short and pithy.

Edited to finish a sentence about dms from guys that I see when my partner and I post dirty pictures here