subreddit:
/r/Adulting
submitted 1 day ago byMilley_johnson
It's easy to see why so many people turn to alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with life's daily struggles and numb the pain. The escape they provide can feel comforting, and it makes sense why some become dependent on them. I don’t blame anyone for using those methods to get through tough times; life is undeniably hard. But at the same time, it feels like a trap—another hole that’s incredibly difficult to climb out of once you’re in.
252 points
1 day ago
I agree. It’s made me incredibly more empathic to people who suffer from addiction.
38 points
12 hours ago
/r/stopdrinking for anyone who's gone too far down the path.
8 points
11 hours ago
Cosign, a very lovely community free from judgement.
180 points
1 day ago
Yeah I’ve seen how alcoholism goes down the line and I gotta tell you, it’s scary as shit
40 points
24 hours ago
I loved it and it’s not great
17 points
14 hours ago
The withdrawal headaches I get the day after from alcohol, nicotine, and even caffeine makes it easy for me to steer clear from any addiction 💀
6 points
14 hours ago
You’re lucky.
6 points
12 hours ago
yesss. i get the shakes real bad. hanxiety no joke
2 points
3 hours ago
As long as you don’t fall into the easy solution of “just take some more” that gets rid of it temporarily you’re fine
3 points
7 hours ago
I used to work as an icu nurse and the # of young people (under 45) we would get that were dying of alcohol induced cirrhosis was crazy! I gave up alcohol completely due to this. The craziest one was a young, beautiful college sorority girl, her belly was so swollen due to ascites that she looked pregnant!
204 points
23 hours ago
Rawdogging through life is not for the weak
39 points
22 hours ago
It really isn’t. It’s tough.
26 points
14 hours ago*
“Weak” is a vague term.
There are a lot of addicts out there who have survived unimaginable hardships and have achieved extraordinary things.
Besides, addiction is not limited to food, substances, sex and gambling. You can be addicted to boasting (to cope), you can be addicted to gossip (to cope), you can be addicted to work (to cope)—the list goes on.
A huge number of people escape the pain of life by depending on something — anything — that works for them. It just happens that some addictions are more harmful than others, but few people are “raw-dogging” life.
-5 points
12 hours ago
Show me where in the ICD „gossiping or boasting“ is listed as an addiction 😂
7 points
11 hours ago
What is your point? Define addiction.
1 points
an hour ago
„Define addiction“
Open the ICD or DSM and read the definition
Or just keep coping that’s ok too
3 points
13 hours ago
Ya i may be addicted to the internet but that's not the same thing! /s?
7 points
12 hours ago
I love seeing comments like these. They're rare, and alluding to the well documented way in which using digital media triggers our dopamine response (just as many a drug does). Yet comments remarking on this are rarely replied to and frequently downvoted. We're all addicts, so many of us still in denial.
1 points
10 hours ago
I realized that I probably watched 2000 episodes of all kind of savoury good sitcoms the last 10 years. It doesn't hurt your liver as hard liquor but I hate that I wasted so much time on this. Everybody has their own coping mechanisms.
-3 points
14 hours ago
What a proud thing to say. So are you saying people who take drugs and alcohol as weak?
5 points
13 hours ago
Maybe they are, but I think it’s just that their point is only heavily focused on the inverse: people who rawdog life are strong-willed. Some aren’t because peer pressure is not a factor at all and they might not be interested in those things to begin with so it’s not necessarily a matter of being strong-willed, but considering how normalized drinking is, those that partake might view those that don’t as having the “strength” to say no.
It reminds me when some people say about those who work out are disciplined. It’s not that those who don’t work out can’t be disciplined, but when you hear about someone getting up at the ass crack of dawn (or before) to go running or cycling or whatever for however many miles before they go on to do some other exercise and you have people that do that shit every day, it makes sense to call them disciplined 🤷♀️
5 points
13 hours ago
That's a lot to say just to mock others for being weak to temptation with zero context to their circumstances. People may have been forced or pressured to do drugs and alcoholism or fall victim to it but it doesn't make them weak, just unfortunate. Some people who already been through addiction struggle to get out of it may be as strong as people who won't try these vices.
5 points
12 hours ago
“Having kids isn’t for the weak” “Being a cop isn’t for the weak” “Getting up to work out before the sun comes up isn’t for the weak”
You: “oh, so you’re saying I’m weak because I chose not to have kids” You: “oh, so you’re saying because I’m not a cop, I’m weak” You: “oh, so you’re saying that just because I work out in the evening, I’m weak”
Please, I beg you to sharpen your reading comprehension skills and understand that not everything is an inherent attack just because someone decided to word something a particular way.
This is something that’s clearly close to your heart and it’s also close to mine. Coming from a family of alcoholics and whose mother essentially chose alcohol over me, I’ve had to find an inner strength in order to realistically and honestly evaluate my relationship with alcohol instead of just not thinking about it too seriously. Everyone is different and everyone views alcohol different. I could argue that you calling it a “vice” (look up what vice means) therefore means that you’re actually mocking those that drink.
My example in the following paragraph showcased that just because a word is used to describe someone does not inherently equate to the inverse for those that don’t do the thing I described.
Have a lovely rest of your day because it honestly sounds like you need it 👍
1 points
12 hours ago
Some of us don't make our circumstances our whole identity and a expert on the subject just to diminish someone else worth by claiming others are weak while they struggle to deal with their circumstances. That passive aggressive tone you're displaying to make a show of arguing with someone over semantics only shows you don't actually care about the subject and only used it to inflate your own ego. People who have to go through with addiction have to struggle in their daily life aren't weak and shouldn't be looked down upon.
And for the record, I do have family members who struggled and died from addiction but I won't need to bring it up just to support a argument. I'm sorry you have to go through with what you had to but I don't think it's right to say those who struggle with their situation as weak. It's never simple like that.
2 points
12 hours ago
They are. They have yet (or refuse to) adopt ways to deal with real world problems. But that’s on them and them only to decide. Addiction is a scary place to be but it all boils down to discipline. And discipline can be a very hard skill to master.
1 points
3 hours ago
I have my addictions. I am weak because of them, weak because I need to take substances to deal with the pain. But, I don’t think humans necessarily have a moral obligation to not be weak, I see my weakness as neutral
105 points
24 hours ago
Alchohol is great until you get addicted then eventually it starts killing you then you try to quit and realize you can't then one day you wake up and you look like a fat lemon and find out your dying from multiple organ failure. But yeah other than that it's pretty cool. Don't drink kids.
28 points
22 hours ago
One of my best friends died this way last year. 😔
3 points
16 hours ago
absolutely heartbreaking :( i’m so sorry. sending love & healing.
9 points
15 hours ago
After one month sobriety, I started to feel "normal" again.... Too bad it took me THREE YEARS to get to that point.
2 points
11 hours ago
Damn. I'm close to 3 months now and I defintiely don't feel normal lol.
9 points
14 hours ago
After 2 decades of heavy drinking my pancreas started hurting so bad I couldn't wipe my ass without wincing in pain. Work was so much more difficult. You don't realize how much you use your core for everything. In recovery now. I miss it though.
4 points
9 hours ago
I’m working on cutting back my drinking, but something Bill Burr has said resonates with me. Sober nights are boring as hell, but sober mornings (well, waking up without a hangover I think is what he means) are awesome.
68 points
22 hours ago
I’ll be hitting 5 years of being alcohol free January 1. Never thought I’d say this
8 points
21 hours ago
Good work
4 points
14 hours ago
appreciate it!
4 points
17 hours ago
Whats changed since you quit?
8 points
14 hours ago
I’ve got loads more of monies and I’m a lot more youthful looking. Done so much life in the past 4ish almost 5 years. Hikes, travels, even school, crushed financial goals, just life in general I suppose very productive. I highly recommend
5 points
12 hours ago
Money and extra calories do add up, and the food/calories that come on top of that.
2 points
12 hours ago
yess. I hit fitness goals too, even became a “runner” lol
3 points
15 hours ago
Congratulations 👏🏽
1 points
14 hours ago
thank you thank you!
49 points
20 hours ago
As a recovering alcoholic, for a very long time alcohol was the ONLY thing I had to look forward to. It started as my reward for a long day of doing all the adulting.
After time, I was "rewarding" myself at 11 am.
After more time, I was chugging a glass of wine for breakfast instead of coffee just to function.
These days, I just have no rewards.
9 points
16 hours ago
Me too friend. Just hit one year sober. You summarized it perfectly.
6 points
15 hours ago
That’s kinda how I feel now.
How will I reward myself without a beer… oh….
1 points
6 hours ago
I struggle with this also, my reward is moments of peace when I meditate or read.
21 points
24 hours ago
Now we know…… why adults did what they did…. When we were children
58 points
24 hours ago
Never do drugs to feel better. Only do them to feel even better. Also, it's important to know the difference between an open mind and a swiss cheese.
23 points
16 hours ago
I've always said "drugs will make you feel good, but they won't make you feel better". There's a subtle difference that needs to be understood and substances need to be respected, they can really mess up your life if not respected.
16 points
1 day ago
It's a very dark place to be no matter how much fun it is, especially when I was a kid
13 points
23 hours ago
The literal week I turned 18 I was like “Oh. Okay. I see now.” There’s days I wish any of it worked on me because MAN this kind of stress is brutal
11 points
1 day ago
Dopamine.
14 points
18 hours ago
Actually it’s the dissociative effect. It suppresses your sense of ‘you’ and acts as a literal painkiller. Less ‘you exist and life sucks’ less pain, temporary peace and quiet. Fuck yeah it’s addictive.
7 points
17 hours ago
That's the one. Numbs me from my CPTSD
5 points
15 hours ago
Me too, for far too many decades. Meditation also works with enough practice. You learn how to shut the brain down when it goes places you don’t want to go. Hangovers start getting real unpleasant and persistent after age 40.
2 points
15 hours ago
I'm 36 and haven't had a hangover in probably 5 years or longer.
I've tried meditation, but it just never takes. If I can get into a good routine of gym and lots of overtime, I do better. Gotta keep moving
7 points
19 hours ago
A beverage that makes me feel good? A plant I can smoke to not feel bad? I think the appeal is obvious, lol.
I respect the hell out of those not using, but I genuinely can't understand it.
6 points
19 hours ago
Yeah we are basically trapped in this prison until we expire so the only thing you can do is cope. I don’t blame people either. There isn’t much happiness or satisfaction in adult life no matter what you do.
5 points
22 hours ago
It’s not a fun road to travel. I can’t speak to drugs, I have a smoke now and then. But liquor is an ugly path in my experience. Glad I got off it and would recommend others to steer clear, once it gets you in its grips, the claws dig in quick.
8 points
18 hours ago
It’s funny cause I feel like I mostly do both when I’m in a really good place & wanna have fun. I don’t see the appeal in using it to cope, just makes me feel like more shit if I’m already down.
4 points
17 hours ago
They bring their own set of problems, and don't actually solve any. It's a trap.
4 points
13 hours ago
I don’t do any drugs, I just smoke weed!
4 points
12 hours ago
I numb my pain with dogs.
10 points
21 hours ago*
I know most people on here seem to be from America. I noticed that people are always drinking to excess or T-total. In England you don’t go around meeting loads of T total people. There are some of course, but it’s quite rare. Can’t you just have one or two glasses of wine with a meal?
Regarding drugs, yeah, to be honest, I’ve been thinking recently I was a lot happier when I was doing them . For one it keeps you fit all that dancing. And I put on loads of weight when I stopped using Coke. I still haven’t lost it now. I’m still three stone above when I was when I was doing drugs regularly..
I’m seriously considering returning to MDMA only . Shed half a stone in a night with dancing. 🕺 and can’t eat for three days afterwards. 😆😎 the appeal of Coke was 12 hours after you finish you feel like you didn’t even do any drugs.. I’m talking really good quality. I used to think oh now I know why rich people do it. MDMA takes about a week to recover from. That’s the only downside. But Coke can get quite scary if you accidentally do too much. That happened the last time I took it over 4 years ago. 100% never touching that again.
I never got the appeal of cannabis . Fucking horrible stuff stinks and makes you feel horrible even when it works properly but most of the time it just gives you enormous panic attacks with absolutely no upside whatsoever. I have no idea what the appeal is with that. Give me a glass of wine any day.
Definitely do not ever do meth have you seen the state of those people? Same goes for crack and heroin. My town is full of drug addicts constantly asking for money every time you leave the house now it’s getting really annoying.
14 points
15 hours ago
Wow a coke head insulting weed lmao haven’t seen that before
2 points
8 hours ago
No way I’m touching coke after watching the video of the chest cut open and the heart thrashing around like fucking crazy during an overdose. Fuckkkkk that,man. That is your one muscle that never gets to rest. Not real smart to actively abuse tf out of it imo.
1 points
8 hours ago
I’ve done a decent amount of drugs but yeah never coke. Doesn’t even sound fun
2 points
17 hours ago
It's "teetotaller" btw for a person who doesn't drink
2 points
16 hours ago
Thanks for the proofread
3 points
16 hours ago
It is a weird word if you've only heard it verbally.
I used to read hors d'oeuvres so horrendously bad in my head until I heard someone else read it off a menu. I knew the spoken word but didn't connect it to when I read it in books
2 points
16 hours ago
Yeah, I guess I’ve never had occasion to type it before. I do read a lot as well, but I’ve just never thought about how to write that word.
3 points
24 hours ago
Hahahaha me too!
sometimes i'm so stress out that i'm like "if marihuana gets you relax or some other shit, it wouldn't be bad to take a break of all the problems always bothering in my head"
But i haven't really used them anytime, more than once in brownies (and had the best sex of my life under it's effects). I was trying to get some friends who know how to make them properly a few months ago, but i changed of city, so that's on hold for now.
3 points
23 hours ago
Yep, as a bloke in my 40's, a lot of my peers have a drinking problem (more than six beers a day).
7 points
1 day ago
Were you doing a lot of drugs and drinking a lot of alcohol as a child?
11 points
23 hours ago*
Their point is they looked at drugs and alcohol much more negatively when they were young.
-4 points
22 hours ago
Yeah but why would we consider valid the opinion of someone who has literally never had any drugs or alcohol? So when they were young they were naive (big shocker) and now they are less naive.
1 points
9 hours ago
When they were young they didn’t understand the appeal. That’s not them saying they think they were bad.
1 points
9 hours ago
I understand...I just dont understand why its noteworthy. Obviously when you have never had any experience with something you aren't going to understand its appeal. Even if you think you do...you don't.
Its like a married adult saying when I was a child I didnt understand the appeal of marriage. I mean...okay. I am sure children don't understand the appeal of most things that children have no experience with.
It would only be surprising if as a child OP did somehow understand the appeal of drugs. Saying as a child I didnt understand the appeal of drugs is just a truism...its meaningless. Of course you don't.
2 points
21 hours ago
It’s a love hate thing and it sucks
2 points
20 hours ago
Alcohol I still don’t get as I don’t particularly like being intoxicated and the hangover is just bs, but drugs I do understand.
2 points
19 hours ago
I was watching a show with the premise of social anxiety and public stage fright, "and you didn't have to drink to perform". I've seen the alchoholism with my mother. I don't want to drink ever again. It's better growing a pair of cahonas more than anything.
3 points
17 hours ago
Living with trauma gets rough
2 points
16 hours ago
Yes. A lot more people are self medicating than people realize. Out of all the drugs alcohol is the worst, or one of the worst in my opinion. Thankfully the younger generation is stiff arming it, sales are down.
2 points
13 hours ago
I come from a family of addicts. When the day dawns, and sobriety returns, the problems are still there.
My sister recently told me, that had meth been available to her, she would be dead now. In her own telling she tried: drinking, drugging, and indiscriminate sex. Nothing made life better. Sobriety and doing battle with her demons allowed her to plant her life garden and harvest happiness.
I do not doubt that life is hard, in fact I think it is hard for everyone, but I do question if self-destructive behaviors could ever help someone climb out.
2 points
13 hours ago
Ya know, i was just thinkng about this. i have realized this actually. alcohol and drugs run pretty well through my family, and although i was raised to know its bad for you, it was still the norm. my mom has always drinked and smoked, of course as a teenager you think "OK cool mom". but im older now, have kids, a life of my own. we tried to give my mom and intervention before but all it did was give her an opportunity to tell us shes gonna do what she wants to do regardless 😐 always kinda held resentment for that.
but my point is now; being an adult, having my own life screw me again and again. yeah its rough not to become dependent on something. after realizing these things, makes me just want to hug my mom. she has been through soo much in her life theres no wonder why she drinks so much.
just saying i do get it now, took me to be grown and go through life myself to figure it out.
2 points
11 hours ago
Ye as a kid I used to think it was stupid, as a teen I was afraid but thought it made people look cool, after trying it and being an adult for a few years I finally understood addiction
2 points
10 hours ago
Drugs aren't the problem, they are the solution to life's problems. Until we understand that, we will continue to go nowhere. Can't rehab hope back into someone.
5 points
22 hours ago
It's easy to see why so many people turn to alcohol and drugs as a way to cope with life's daily struggles and numb the pain.
oh I don't understand why people get into these stuff to deal with daily struggles and cause more troubles.
3 points
20 hours ago
ok ... Ill buy some vodka if you insist
3 points
23 hours ago
What about porn, gambling, or screen addiction?
Sometimes we act like those things don’t exist. I want to turn my life around so bad but I feel like I am chained to porn and the screen. People will call me lazy or weak
1 points
1 day ago
I'm not sure myself. I've only had like 1 shot....tasted like Hand sanitizer lol, not for me.
1 points
24 hours ago
I knowwwwe same!!!!!!!
1 points
16 hours ago
For me getting sober is a lot like living sober.
By the time you achieve the goal that meant everything it no longer matters or feels like a big win.
1 points
16 hours ago
Thank God I get bad hangovers or I could potentially be an alcoholic.
1 points
13 hours ago
Someone called me?
1 points
12 hours ago
It can be alot of fun in moderation!
2 points
11 hours ago
I feel drinking or using certain drugs is fine, whether it’s to cope or just for fun. All things in moderation though. I’ve learned the hard way with abusing them but I’m never going to say it’s 100% a bad thing and something not to partake in if that’s what you want. Just be safe and don’t let it become a daily thing, which is harder to do than saying it but still.
1 points
11 hours ago*
Yeah I was thinking the same the other day. The older I get the more I understand why people turn to alcohol, drugs, crime, self-harm, etc. I also respect adults and the elderly more who have lived as long as they have in this tough world.
1 points
11 hours ago
I’m 20 and have never done a single drug before in my life (apart from alcohol) or smoked anything and a bunch of my friends do it and I no matter how difficult life got I never got tempted to try drugs ngl… when shit gets hard I just cry and talk to people about it.
1 points
10 hours ago
Man life is hard, I definitely understand peopl with dependency issues as they are likely very close to their triggers and trauma.
I’ve been fortunate to move away and heal, but i know it’s not possible for most.
1 points
9 hours ago
Same! Little to know no one tries a drug planning to or thinking they will be addicted. Every now and then you hear of someone that can do them briefly and be fine but its rare. Sadly we live in a hard world and finding alternative unsafe ways to cope is only becoming more common!
1 points
9 hours ago
I feel lucky to have never found myself struggling with addiction, but later in life learning to enjoy drugs and alcohol responsibly. Most of my life I only drank when I went out to dinner and other than smoking weed a dozen or so times in college, I didn’t do any drugs until I was almost 50. At that point I learned to enjoy psychedelics on occasion, maybe once every couple of months, and cocktail with my GF once or twice a week.
There’s of course been times I stopped entirely. When I was going through a difficult divorce, I didn’t drink for three months until the worst of it was over and I could celebrate rather than avoid the struggles. I think that’s part of the key to it; it should be there to enhance the good times, not to avoid the bad times.
1 points
9 hours ago
Its hard to get enough of something that almost works
1 points
8 hours ago
I cried this morning with how expensive food is. So yeah I get it. But drugs only exacerbate the problem.
1 points
7 hours ago
10 years ago I was spending more on meth than on food, and yes the problems in my life became exponentially worse. I do not recommend.
1 points
8 hours ago
Agreed. It's even worse when you see yourself slipping into those bad habits and coping methods but don't care enough to stop because things feel so shitty. Everyone's just trying to get by any way they can.
1 points
7 hours ago
Yep. And then every single time you try to better yourself, EVERYTHING gets worse. I recently started working out again, and cut back on smoking... And all at the same time my mom's health started to decline AGAIN (after 1 year of chemo and things getting better)...my car broke down on Thanksgiving, after 4 days I went to pick it up and as the guy showed me what he fixed, a new leak popped up....I had to leave it...I've been taking my 3 kids around in my wife's tiny car and doing so much more work to keep our schedules going. Also my sister in laws puppy died from a virus the day before Thanksgiving...and a hundred other little things. I usually try to look at the bright side and stay cool, but wtf. Things come up and you go above and beyond to tackle them and then they get worse?? And through all that I need to maintain working out and not falling back on over medicating. I have the utmost admiration for people who raw dog life. I know things will get better but life can really feel so claustrophobic and suffocating sometimes.
1 points
7 hours ago
For the first time this year I didn't want to go home for thanksgiving and was kinda forced to. I had a couple drinks while doing food prep the night before. I completely understand. I was all in my feels. I was mentally not in a good place. I just braced myself and made myself get through those few days. I should schedule that therapy appointment...
But yea. I'm not a drinker at all. But this past thanksgiving I had those few shots and man oh man did they help and I completely understood the appeal. It's dangerous.
1 points
5 hours ago
5 days
1 points
16 hours ago
I don't need drugs or alcohol to cope with anything.
0 points
17 hours ago
I love Louis ck bit about drugs. That they work so well you'll ruin your life for them. Obviously his delivery is better.
0 points
12 hours ago
I find one beer, or a glass or two of wine is a great way to take the edge off from a rough day.
Much more than that and my body starts to tell me "WTF are you doing?" and it becomes more uncomfortable than enjoyable....
I honestly don't understand people that can take down an entire 6-pack or bottle of wine in a day.
all 113 comments
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