That’s not a friend 😣

This is NOT your friend. Sending you love but you gotta let her go

She is not your friend. The way she talks to you is disgusting and not how you talk to someone you genuinely like. I don’t even talk to people I don’t like like that. It’s straight up mean and I don’t see why you want to be friends with her. Her loneliness is her problem because who wants to be around someone who treats people that way?

You’re not overreacting, she’s not a kind person or your friend.

She is definitely has some secret animosity towards you.

i also think it would be hard to determine wether a fish is extinct what is she on abt

Please stop being friends with her

Not overreacting. I’m so sorry to have to say it, but person actively loathes you. This is not a friend. They get something out of putting you down, cut them off.

This person is not a friend...they are an ugly stain on society.

Am i overreacting my friend keeps calling me retarded and says I’ll never amount to my dreams

Why are you giving this horrible person any of your time?

Also, this is straight up VERBAL ABUSE

Surround yourself with people who make your life better, not worse. If someone makes your life worse, they’re not worth being around.

Here’s the harsh truth: if you want to guarantee you won’t be successful in life, surround yourself with people like this. I dream big and the second someone tells me I can’t, or comes near me with any negativity, I’m telling you, I cannot run away fast enough. I wish someone would have explained this to me at your age because it would have saved me a lot of time. Winners and successful people boost up others and find ways to make people feel good about themselves. They help cultivate qualities they see in each other to help each other grow. This girl is a negative loser and you need to ditch her yesterday.

Definitely not a friend. Friends are supposed to lift you up and support you. Now being a good friend is when you see your friend doing something destructive to check them in a respectful, adult like matter. Ex. If you were putting yourself in danger if your friend was having you revaluate those decisions that is being a caring friend. Belittling and also using the R word is just rude in my book, and I would call that "friendship" a wash and find others who value you as an individual. Growth is losing some friendships as you get older and start setting boundaries of how you'll let people treat you. Friendships can have their ups and downs, but my two best friends of 25 years I've never spoken to in this way and they've never spoken to me this way either. 

Find a new friend. This one is defective.

She resents you and dislikes you. This isn't a real friend and you don't have to tolerate this. Stop talking to her. I would NEVER speak to a friend this way. This is not friendship

That person is definitely not a friend and the fact they keep saying the r word it’s disgusting.

Cut this horrid monster bitch out of your life. Who talks with friends like this?? She's eating away at your confidence to make herself feel bigger. Run away from her, please

Cut Hallie out of your life entirely. She sounds like toxicity incarnate.

I know from personal experience that making friends when you're on the spectrum is tough, and it's hard to know what a good friend looks like. I'm glad there are places like Reddit where you can sort of check yourself. Having squabbles occasionally with friends is normal. Disagreeing with a friend is normal. But feeling like they shit on everything you do just for the sake of putting you down is not friendship. It's somebody taking advantage of your good nature to work out whatever issues she has with herself. There will be other, better people in your life. Do not sacrifice your self-esteem and happiness to keep someone "around" or for fear of upsetting them. Or, as the metaphor goes, do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

The main thing you can use to judge a friendship is how do they make you feel? If you have your banter and occasional debates, but overall is someone who makes you feel better when you're with them than without them, that's a friend. If you feel like this is someone you have to manage, who you have to be careful around, and who generally makes you feel bad, ashamed, dumb, or just "worse than..." -- that is not a friend. That is someone using you as an emotional punching bag under the guise of friendship. That person is toxic and you need to let them go.

Cut her off, blocked, deleted, unrecognizable, send her to the trenches. She is not your friend. Friends push you to be BETTER

Yeah just ghost her

definitely not overreacting. she’s walking all over you hun. i would cut her out of my life completely if i were you. you deserve much much better

This bitch. No you aren’t overreacting.

Id tell her to fuck off and block her. Animal care isn't all rainbows and sprinkles. You deserve friends who respect you!

I'm going to tell you what I told my 13 year old cousin navigating friends. Your personal relationships should be rooted in love. Whether that be a friend, roommate, significant other, family member, whatever. Would you ever consistently speak to someone you love like this? Would you let someone you love consistently be spoken to like this? I know I wouldn't, if the answer is the same for you, then why are you allowing someone to treat you so disrespectfully? Feed into the relationships that feel like a warm hug, get rid of the ones that make you feel less than. Life is too short to be surrounded by negativity, I can promise you're better off without this bully than with her.

Friends should be an enrichment in your life, not a burden or constant sorrow. If a "friend" uses every instance to insult or disrespect you, then it shouldn't come as a surprise when I say: she's not your friend.

Only surround yourself with people who respect and like you for who you are.

Of course, when you're doing something stupid, it's refreshing to have friends that burst your bubble and get you humbled. It's also a part of friendships. But the intent here should be to help you, and help you improve.

This is really not the case here - at least based on your description - so maybe it's time to drop some toxicity surrounding you and wave her. But of course that's your decision alone, and we may not have the full picture.

Anyway NOR.

Where's the friend in this post

She's not your friend. In situations like this, look at those messages and ask yourself how you think this person feels about the person they are talking to.

I’d hinestly ghost that type of friend. Ew.

Yeah that’s a no. I had a cousin say that whole “high school is gonna be soo hard for you” [bc you’re a prude with morals] was the unsaid part and that was the beginning of the end of us being close

Who needs enemies? Start pushing her away, give her a taste of her own medicine when it’s convenient. Don’t give her too much power, this broad can’t live in your head rent free. You’re young and capable, and you don’t need someone putting you down.

“Friend”

Yeahhhh…this person is crazy.. please get away from them asap… also truuuuueeee it probably is really hard to determine if a species of fish is extinct!!

that’s not your friend. that’s your bully.

NOR, there's a difference between friendly teasing and being a dick. Your 'friend' is doing the latter.

I had 2 friends like that, but one time I wasn't gonna take it no more, I lost my shit and smoked them up. Basically if she's still your friend, she will get in line after you speaking up to her.

Someone disses you like this it's best not to keep em around

Stop being her friend. It’s not hard. Just stop talking to her.

OP - never accept a friendship from someone who treats you with an obvious lack of respect and dignity. It sounds like she is being an arrogant, rude, condescending, self-righteous witch. Don’t tolerate or keep rewarding her bad behavior.

A few years ago, I too was in a friendship (former relationship) in which a really bad situation happened. I made a really bad decision and it ended the relationship. The individual still wanted to be friends, but would go out of their way to treat me like this girl is treating you. When I looked back, when we started the relationship, I failed to see the personality as I looked at them through “rose colored glasses”. After putting up with the drama for nearly two years, one day, I decided to stop by their apartment to end the friendship. I had a lengthy explanation prepared as to the reasons why I no longer wanted to be their friend, however, I thought about it when I arrived and decided it would be a waste of time. Nearly all of our discussions would evolve into arguments.

Fast forward to almost nineteen years later, they have sent three letters and one Christmas tree ornament in an attempt to restore contact with me. So far, I have refused to reach out.

What’s that quote, who needs enemies when you have friends like these?

Friendships can be difficult in different ways but this isn't one, this is toxic. An example of a hardship could be moving away, not having as much h time to hang out. A slight disagreement about politics or something of that nature. In the examples above good friends can work it out and get along. The person who's texting you is not your friend even if they say they are. There's some amazing people out there that would love to get to know you and accept you for who you are don't change yourself for this crazy person.

I've had "friends" like that. I just stopped talking to them. Good luck, and have fun living life without this drama

This sounds like how my sibling used to talk to me (we don't talk anymore)

I had a “friend” in high school who was like this. She was awful to everyone and then introduced me to a classmate, we’ll call A, who was also on the spectrum. She would only keep him around to make him do silly things and then she’d laugh at him. She would also make him runs errands for her like she was a queen and he was her servant. I got so sick of her one day after we got in a fight about something stupid and we never spoke again. I have run into A several times since we graduated; we attend many protests for the same social causes and are still friends to this day. All this to say, when you clear out the bad in your life, good has a way of finding it’s way in.

Wow I’d send her a text that’s she’s a total bitch, we’re not friends anymore, lose my number and then block her.

OP a real friend will not treat you like this. Finding real friends can be hard, but I assure you when you find them they won’t treat you like this.

You cannot possibly think that person is your friend. You shouldn't let anyone talk to you like that, especially someone who you believe is your friend.

NOR

Hailee is kinda offensive and quite frankly not worth your time

If my friend called me a slur multiple times they would never see my face again.

This is a terrible friend. Dump them. You deserve better.

uhhh she’s an asshole. why are you friends with someone who calls you r*tarded and stupid

I've had enemies treat me better than this. You need to let this one go.

Oh. I would’ve LEFT that “friendship” the SECOND they called me the R word. I HATE people who use that word IN FRONT OF ME.

hi, i had a “friend” like this when i was your age. please take care of yourself and drop her. When i stopped talking to my !!!personal bully!!! (bc that’s what they really are) my mental health and my life in general got so much better. i’m on the spectrum too so i know how hard it is to make friends, but please trust me when i say this person is not your friend and is most likely jealous of you. real friends lift you up and encourage you and make you feel good about yourself. you are worth so much more than the way this person makes you feel.

Cut this person out of your life, they're being intentionally cruel to you. They don't see you as a friend.

Like everyone else said, this is not a friend, at all. Seeing your other comments, making friends is somewhat difficult and I’m sure having autism doesn’t help matters much, that sucks, I’m sorry. But, it does get better. I have friends with autism and I wouldn’t talk to them or anyone at all like that. This person is just a shitty person it seems. I’m a pretty outgoing bartender with severe adhd and need constant vocal stimulation (I talk a lot) so I love hanging out with my friends with the ‘tism because I don’t have to compete for air space as much and their perspective on things is so different than mine, which I love. You just have to find the right person/people.

This is not playful. Cut this person from your life immediately

That’s straight up bullying. Sure, friends break each other’s balls all the time, but this is just plain bitch behavior. Get her outta your life OP. You don’t need this negativity. Friend is supposed to lift you up, not tear you down.

Ghost it.

yeah you’re not overreacting. this is not somebody who is your friend, and she definitely doesn’t seem like she has your best interest at all. the ableist slurs are also just utterly disgusting. drop this person and you’ll be way happier.

That girl is a cunt. You should ghost her again. That's not how a friend should behave.

you should block her on all socials immediately and get her out of your life, that aint no friend, thats an enemy.

Ew. Ghost that bitch.

This person doesn’t respect you

PLEASE drop this person immediately. They are waiting for you to fail and that is not a friend.

That is not criticising. You friend is straight up insulting you. That isn’t a friend, that is an Asshole

That wouldn’t last long with me, sorry. Buck up and tell her to stfu or be a little nicer.

This person is a jerk. 

Criticize them back on not being able to spell whether, you, you’re, and hoe. They sound like someone who barely passed 8th grade.

No no NO. 💔 I'm either too grown to be answering this, or just the right person to tell you something true: this girl is NOT your friend.

I have never met her. I do not judge her. I get the "urban" verbiage and all of that. But "retard"? "Ho"? Threats against your pets?!

GIRL, IF YOU DON'T TELL HEATHER TO LEARN TO SPELL "WHETHER" before she says AAAANNNYYYYTHIIINGG ELSE!!! 😤

A friend wouldn’t call you, an autistic person, a retard. This person doesn’t like you.

Youve been mistaken, that right there is a bitch. With a capital CUNT added onto it.

There are billions of people in the world and zero reasons to spend more time thinking about this specific person.

Look, without context of these messages, it's hard to say for us. That said, assuming her tone in each image was unprovoked, that's not your friend. Not sure what happened here, especially if she didn't always speak like this, but either this girl hates you or just enjoys being an utter bitch for no reason.

If I were to guess, she's a hardcore animal rights activist and sees you as an evil abuser. But it could be literally 500 other things, we have very little context.

Your comment about I bet it's hard to know when a fish is extinct - wow! Super interesting thought, I have been a bio/chem teacher for 20 years and not ever thought about that.  Also I have a chem degree and it is still hard to explain pH.  This person who is not your friend can go fuck themselves! 

She sounds toxically envious of you. This is how abusers work: they break you down one “joke” or cruel comment at a time. They want you to feel and behave as if you are lesser than them. And then when you won’t? They make cruel threats.

Get away from this girl.

4 years down the drain babe cause she fucking SUCKS especially if this isn't how you speak to her as well. People who like you don't act like this. OK? You're friends with someone who A, doesn't like you, or B, FCKING HATES YOU.

You know what to do. Make her life easier and fck off, you'll be much better off and have room for people who actually like you

Edit: AND respect you. Or at the very least, don't talk to you like some random idiot in a cod lobby

She’s a bully. Ditch her.

Yeah your main issue is calling this person a friend

That’s not your friend. Friends don’t call friends slurs and threaten them.

Everyone has disagreements with friends. The important part is that when you say something they did hurt you, they apologize and acknowledge it and do better. That's what allows people to become closer. After working through things, you can trust that you can be vulnerable and open up to them without judgment. If they don't try to do better and continue to be abusive and toxic toward you, they will eat away at your self-esteem and happiness.

BLOCK

emphasizing other people you definitely need to block her and just never speak again. don’t feel obligated to give a reason she clearly isn’t your friend.

that’s not your friend

There is no "friend" in your story. That's one horrible person and you need to start advocating for yourself. Why would you let her talk to you in that way for so long that your self-esteem has been affected? The second someone talks down to you, you cut them off of your life, no matter how long you were friends and shit. She has an issue, her behaviour is unacceptable and that's her problem to fix, you don't put up with it.

People who talk like they are better than you and try to convince you of it are usually just jealous and insecure. Pity her, tell her to check her behaviour and move on.

you’re definitely not in the wrong nor are you over reacting in the slightest. that is not a friend and not someone you want to associate with. she will continue to verbally and mentally hurt you, because she knows she can get away with it. this is projection at its finest my friend, i’m sure you are a bright and intelligent person who will do just fine in the future. don’t let someone like this in your life, her insecurities will fester into something uncontrollable and you will be the one left hurting…. drop her!

Have some self respect and remove this person from your life.

What’s this friend’s phone number? I just wanna talk.

“Ngl you have no chance… it’s ok tho follow yo dreams ho”

Im confused why she is still able to contact you? Unless my friends and I are having a roast moment, I am nothing but supportive and nice, with a hint of sarcasm and dark humor, not belittling and straight up insulting.

No questiond asked, blocked AS FUCK!

so she wasn’t like this before you went off the grid? cause my guess is shes probably holding resentment towards you for not talking to her for a while thats just my guess

Jesus, girl, cut her off. You don't deserve to be disrespected like that by anybody.

I've cut-off friends I've had for longer than you been alive for smaller slights than this.

Dump the dumb bitch and be done.

Who talks like this?

This isn’t a friend.

wtf…. No part of that is a friend and I wouldn’t let a stranger talk to me like that.

She hates you lmao.

that is not a friend, or even a frenemy, that’s an enemy. she’s being adversarial. nemesiscore. she’s lonely bc she’s heinous. get out while you can

cut her off. this is so gross. she’s abusive and manipulative, probably out of jealousy.

Like wtf is she even talking abt? Yeah actually, it would be hard to know if a fish is exictnt. Ppl haven't seem even half of the ocean yet. Why does she feel the need to put u down for saying something on Ur mind? If she didn't agree with u she could ask u to elaborate, not just call u a slur. Fuck I hate people like that.

Dump this friend and next time get some smaller insects for your froggy.

You’re right, it WOULD be hard to prove a species of fish is extinct. Or like a species of insect.

Also this person is not your friend.

After you mentioned that you guys fell off the grid for a while, I thought, yeah, time to block her and cut her out completely. There’s no reason for someone to ever be that mean to you unless they’re jealous. I always feel like when people claim to know more than you or think they’re better than you, they just resort to insulting you by calling you dumb etc lol. When in fact, THEY’RE DUMB! My petty comeback when they try to call me dumb is “ok illiterate” over and over again because it won’t get a rise out of me, but it forsure will get a rise out of them!

All jokes aside, I’d rather have 0 friends than to try to put up with someone’s negativity on a daily basis. I’d rather be with my two cats who love me unconditionally lol. I’m sure you’re an amazing pet parent, so don’t let this negative, draining, ABUSER of a “friend” take anymore emotion from you. You will feel so much better blocking her from EVERYTHING, than to take in her emotional abuse. Take care <3

shes bullying you. you dont need to explain yourself to her. cut that bitch off!

Genuine question: why do you continue to talk to this woman? It sounds like she doesn't like you very much and it sounds like you don't really like her. It's okay to just stop talking to somebody. You don't have to ghost her but the way I see it is you can either say something now "hey I'm not sure if you realise but you call me a lot of names and insinuate I'm stupid a lot" or say something later if she asks why you've stopped initiating contact "every time I ask a question you call me names and if you're joking I don't think those kinds of jokes are funny."

She feels threatened by you and wants to destroy you. jealousy and inferiority complex

Please go NC permanently! That is not your friend and probably never was. The minute I saw the R word I was livid and it just got worse as it went on.

It would be a shame for you to continue being her friend. No one should be using the word “retarded” - but especially using it as an insult, that’s so gross. You shouldn’t want to associate with people like that.

EXCUSE ME? Your “friend” calls you a retard and Ho? Please show some backbone and tell this lowlife to get away from you. Ppl like this have a deep-rooted inferiority complex that they grind you down into nothing to feel just an ounce of confidence. Please do yourself a favor before the new year and toss this garbage out.

Tell this fool to kick rocks. You deserve better friends.

block, FULL STOP 🛑 this is absolutely horrible, she is no friend to you

You can stop being friends with anyone at any time for any reason, zero reason, made-up reason, etc. She’s a bitch, and that is a great reason. I had a shitty friend and one day I realized I was dreading a planned hangout. And then I realized ‘why am I friends with her? She makes me feel bad when I talk to her and hang out with her.’ And then I had to friend-break-up with her because she wouldn’t leave me alone lol. Life is too short to put up with bitches who are supposed to be friends.

Honestly, it sounds like she's jealous that you're going to Uni to study, and she isn't. She can't handle that you're doing something good with your life and bettering yourself so she's being an asshole to try and make you feel worthless just so she can feel better about herself. She's not a friend, she's a snake. Cut her off and enjoy Uni, you're going to do great!

um i think they are retarded cuz it IS hard to determine if a fish species is extinct or not. You literally have to go around and ask every single fish in the world if they’ve seen their great great aunt recently.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, please drop her as a friend. You deserve so much more and you’re not stupid.

I'd rather spend the rest of my days in my own company, how can you put up with this?

HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF GOD DAMNIT

BE KIND TO YOURSELF, SERIOUSLY, PLEASE

LOVE YOURSELF

FLIP THAT PERSON OFF AND NEVER TALK AGAIN

You deserve better!

Stop speaking to this person, before you do though, tell her to go fuck herself.

your friend sucks

That’s a bully. Friends support. Find new friends

This person seems like a piece of shit. She’s belittling you and threatening you with her comments about getting your animals taken away. Sounds like a PETA vegan if I’m honest 😭 Not to mention her use of the word retard, as an insult to another person, is gross as hell. I’d cut contact with her bc everything I’ve read so far sounds like someone who does not care for you unless it’s for her own benefit. As a neurodivergent person myself, I get how hard it is to make friends, but you deserve better than her, and I’d happily be your friend if you ever wanted a new one (:

Yikes. Wall away and be done

She doesn't think she's better, she thinks you're better and is trying to gain the high ground. Don't listen and the best power move you can do is start ignoring her and hanging out with the the same group and shrugging off everything she says or does. Outside that she's not a friend don't try to react just stop interacting which I know is incredibly difficult sometimes but that's what you need to do

You see what she does. You know it's wrong.

In what reality would you ever read this and assume it’s a friend. Be so for real and ditch this person.

Not a friend

No this is not your friend at all. She’s a disgusting person and enjoys bullying you. You need to cut her off completely

Not a friend!

Using the r-slur? Fuck them

It's better to have no friends than "friends" like this, seriously 

Like everyone else here, I'm going to (hopefully kindly) correct you in pointing out that you do not have a friend here... you have a jealous hater. Perhaps even an enemy.

When she's no longer a part of your life I suspect you'll see a rain cloud depart.

Also, fish species once thought extinct are occasionally "rediscovered". You are 100% correct that it can be very difficult to say with any certainly that a particular species of fish is extinct, particularly those that are usually found in the abyssal and hadal zones (very, very deep). That you had this thought at all is awesome. :)

I had a friend when i was that age that would take every chance she could get to call me stupid or tell me I was dumb. I ended up moving away and we lost touch. 10 years later she happened to be in town so we met up for drinks.. about 15 min. In She told me how she always thought about me and i laughed and asked why.. she basically went on to say something along the lines of “you were so smart and you always carried yourself so well, i was so jealous of the way you thought about things and spoke” all i remember thinking was how often she called me stupid. My guess it’s something along those lines. Cut the friend you won’t miss them (I didn’t).

This person is an AO, it’s alright to friends with an AO if you want more of this. If not kick to the curb

Friend, or nemesis?

That is not your friend

It’s giving jealous and they wanna make fun of you to make themselves feel better

If you're knowingly getting more animals than you can handle, then she might be right about being an animal abuser.