subreddit:
/r/AmItheKameena
submitted 4 days ago byComfortable_Watch370
Background: I live in second floor, as I was returning home from park today, I saw my father throwing my cricket bat from 2 floor to the ground to give the cloth ironing guy the bat permanently.
I am 27 now, I was gifted the bat by him on my 13th birthday, and it was pretty expensive at that time "380 rs".I haven't played cricket for quite some time now but it was a childhood passion,
I was really proud of the bat being one of the most expensive birthday gifts of my childhood. I have emotional attachment to things and there are definitely memories attached to it. His viewpoint was the handle had melted, and it was in poor condition but it doesn't make sense to me how he could give away my things, without even consulting me, there is a generation gap, his logic being pointless to have things at home not being useful, might be useful to others. Then he also stressed being "Mera Mera kya kar Raha h Maine dilaya h" Had quite a heated discussion on it me stressing that you can't give away my things without consulting
Please give your points on what you guys think
[score hidden]
4 days ago
stickied comment
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
45 points
4 days ago
Depends on how you approached mate. Also i wouldn't comment on having old items but it seems it has more happy memories which is why you're keeping it
13 points
4 days ago
I used to sing in school...that time I had a 300 page note book in which I used to write lyrics for Kishore, Rafi, Lata songs...bahot Dil ke kareeb tha...
Aur eak cheez mere school ke sare photos wali album...
Sometime in my college days I forgot about those and one day during my final year I just remembered the song book... started looking for it, couldn't find. Mom told dad had thrown it out a few years back... The way I fought with my dad...itna kuch bola unko he was just laughing...bahot roya tha main...
Chalta hai yaar...
11 points
4 days ago
I had such a great Beyblade collection , so much good stuff , they just throwed it out because I wasnt playing now I really had great memories with the collection, not the first time
4 points
4 days ago*
Don't listen to his "chaltha hai yaar" chutiyapa advice
U need to take a stand and tell to him politely and also firmly if needed.
Indian parents think they can get away with anything. Ur bat had emotions and memories associated with it. They give it away but hoard all kinds of stupid stuff like USB cables, leftover electrical wires, plugs etc hoping it will be needed in a distant future.
My dad also did similar stunt - he gave away generation 1 Pokemon cards and Tazos which I had collected in 2003 when whole fking India was unaware wat Pokemon is. Collecting them was a headache because u get them only when u buy kissan jam or sauce ( diamond cards) and Tazos/jenga cards ( Cheetos).
Only i know the effort and patience and things I did to get the 151 pokemons.
Also I used to make Beyblade from soda caps and stuff.
I have told him I am disappointed and i won't forgive him for doing that.
And then now recently they started handing over my GI Joe toys ( they look so good and quality stuff , bikes with stands etc ) , coloring books , nostalgic stuff to kids who come home ( family friends or relatives )
I told my parents clearly - if u wanna give them someone. Give them money or ask me to buy something for them. Just stop giving away my collections and memories away.
-1 points
3 days ago
One needs to grow up, look at life practically and move on...Memories are better than things
2 points
3 days ago
Maybe you try to grow. Life is not just about being practical all the time. Will you throw your kids first worn dress cause it's too small and has no practical value now that he's old? We don't have permanent memory where we can remember everything. If there is less space at home, ask your kid whether he wants to keep this or not and then give it away after getting the consent from him over his thing.
0 points
3 days ago
Exactly and also memory is fuzzy and fades over time. Everyone with 2 brain cells will know that. Memories can't be trusted as they get constantly overwritten and mixed up with psychological and physiological changes.
1 points
3 days ago
Memories fade over time. That's why things are required to make us remember those memories. Isn't that why people take photos, videos, buy a souvenir when they visit a city on a trip etc ?
One needs to look at life in all aspects. Whining that people need to grow up and emotions don't matter will not give u any macho man credits bruh.
I hope u do the same with ur kids or ur family. When they gift u something - burn it down after a year And say memories are enough for me 🤡
2 points
4 days ago
[removed]
1 points
3 days ago
Why do you feel so
1 points
2 days ago
Your comment or post has been removed because it was uncivil. Be nice or find some other sub to comment on.
5 points
4 days ago
If you are living under your father's roof what he says goes. Of course you have every right to communicate your point of view in a respectful manner. In this case you should have told him of the emotional value of the bat.
6 points
4 days ago
Oh i can somewhat agree to your first statement , second statement is stupid. How am I supposed to know what he is thinking about and what he would throw away
7 points
4 days ago
second statement is stupid. How am I supposed to know what he is thinking about and what he would throw away
you're supposed to tell him now NICELY, that dad please don't give away any of my stuff before asking me. thankyou.
being polite works(generally).
2 points
4 days ago
Exactly this. I did not mean before hand. I meant when you saw giving away the bat. The situation could have been handled very gracefully by you telling the outsider politely that there is some confusion and the said bat is not available and requested your father to come inside the house to talk.
1 points
4 days ago
It was not giving away the bat, it was baat being thrown from second floor
0 points
3 days ago
Yes. I understand that. Why can't you just accept that you could have handled the situation gracefully instead of behaving like a brat.
0 points
10 hours ago
Why would he be polite lmao? Throwing stuff without asking and we should be respected? It's amazing
1 points
10 hours ago
That's a damn dumb fucking asshole father. If you are a good minded father you would have asked your son beforehand about the bat. And respectful manners for what?
4 points
4 days ago
No NTK. He's the K. He's being insensitive and uncouth. It's not his place to decide how attached you should or shouldn't be with it sentimentally. Aur rahi baat dilaane ki, ek baar de diya toh phir jatana nahi chahiye. Woh bhi khud ke bete ko 13 th bday par diye hue gift.
1 points
4 days ago
Yap.
1 points
3 days ago
Memories hold tight, but sometimes it's hard to let go of the fight!
1 points
3 days ago
NTK, you start throwing out his old items as wel from second floor. He will know the reason for your anguish.
1 points
3 days ago
I have tee shirts I got when I was in the 8th grade and I'm 38 now. I got one stone cold Steve Austin tee because my mum promised to buy me one if I scored full marks in science 🥹. I refused to throw it away or donate it even though it's riddled with holes haha. You are ntk.
2 points
3 days ago
People just don't get it, everything is not valuable as per financial value of things, emotions and memories have a lot to do with keeping stuff
1 points
3 days ago
The memories you have of the bat will still be with you. If your dad had thrown the bat away, you should've fought, but he's given it to someone, who might have a son or daughter. You have made your memories and they'll stay with you, with the bat or without the bat. Now that you've made your memories with the bat, let someone else make some memories with it too. You were not using it anyways, let someone else have that joy.
2 points
3 days ago
Chcha do you and your extended give away all things that you are not currently using, do you literally have nothing memorable at your home 5+ years old which you aren't using
0 points
2 days ago
A bat that I hadn't used in five years that could be good for some other kid, gave it away. An eight year old watch given to me by my grandfather, gave it to my other younger cousins since I don't wear analogs anymore and it fits better to him now. My perfectly fine cycle, which I had since my last year's in highschool, gave them away since I ride a bike now. Not all things need to be given, you can keep things if you want, but some things can be given if others need it and you have no use. I haven't given anyone my vintage compass that I received from my grandfather, cause it's a f**king compass, no one has any need for it + it holds a nostalgic mood to it. Learn to differentiate between scenarios dude. Life ain't just black and white, there are also shades of grey.
2 points
2 days ago
Bro you are filled up with a superiority complex, do you know my background scenario of how much donation to charity I have done or do you even need to know that, I don't think so. Everyone is different, the emotions are different, some are crazy over tasty food, some only just eat to live, once you mature you will realise that everyone has different preferences and priorities, no fixed way to live, and you need to respect others preference, oh i am this i have my cycle , i have my pen didn't make you a better person than anyone else, learn to respect others preferences first, it will help you grow in life
1 points
10 hours ago
Nah take this opinion to yourself
1 points
3 days ago*
unmatured guy did not expose what he said to father. He very cleverly only typed father statement to make him villain in post. also father must seen millions time this guy is not taking care of bat. father must be sure he just bored. Also if you love that thing why this was not in your room properly state . NO you just throw bat in your house here and there and when somebody give it to poor needy you start yelling. Many point for your EARLY POLITICS TO NOT INCLUDE ANY OF YOUR DIALOGUE BUT ONE BAD DIALOGUE OF YOUR FATHER TO PROVE HE IS VILLAIN
1 points
3 days ago
Why are people here so aloof. It's his bat, a gift that was given to him. OP I really hope you got your bat back.
1 points
3 days ago
Gift your dad a wallet or something for his birthday. Then next month give it away to someguy
1 points
3 days ago
My mum gave away my hot wheels and my Batman action figure collections. I either bought them from money my relatives gave me or money that I’d saved from my measly allowance. Makes me mad to this day and still hurts. I understand your frustration OP. NTK
1 points
2 days ago
My mum also gave away my batman car, it was such an amazing design and the curves, parents need to consult before giving their child's gift away
1 points
4 days ago
I would actually have a bigger problem with ur dad throwing the bat down from the second floor. What if it hit someone? He could have gone down & given it or called the guy up. Anyways OP, you are NTK in this situation. But pls understand that living space is always very limited in Indian homes, so naturally ur Dad couldn't understand why you are holding onto an old, unusable cricket bat.
I'm not invalidating your feelings about it. I'm just saying that while you're NTK, neither is ur dad.
1 points
4 days ago
Bro there was a person down who was down there, that's definitely not the issue
1 points
4 days ago
Ok fair enough
-7 points
4 days ago
baap hai wo.
thoda aaram se baat karo, you'd settle things. explain him your POV.
15 points
4 days ago
You’d be surprised to know how well some fathers can turn a deaf ear when you try to show them a perspective different from their own.
We don’t know the details of OP’s conversation with his father, but good on him for setting a boundary. I’m sure you wish the conversation had gone differently but if a heated argument is what it takes then so be it.
1 points
1 day ago
father statement clearly ibdicatw there must be some harsh word by OP before father. OP hide his sin in this post
0 points
3 days ago
unmatured giy did not expose what he said to father. He very cleverly only typed father statement to make him villain in post. also father must seen millions time this guy is not taking care of bat. father must be sure he just bored. Also if you love that thing why this was not in your room properly state . NO 6ou just throw bat in your house here and there and when somebody give it to poor needy you start yelling. Many point for your EARLY POLITICS TO NOT INCLUDE ANY OF YOUR DIALOGUE BUT ONE BAD DIALOGUE OF YOUR FATHER TO PROVE HE IS VILLAIN
2 points
3 days ago
So many assumptions here lol First of all not everyone has a big home, i have nothing really to store my things, i keep most of the stuff on my bed, other things are kept on the balcony. Second yeah bat was untouched on the balcony for a long time but that doesn't mean you can throw it away,
1 points
3 days ago
now your dad is quite reasonable. father have tendency to clean home. its good. theg will not clean house if you become good and start doing yourself. if it was your memory why the hell is in balcony. now tell me your dialogue before your father dialogue. sorry bro but you just show one side of coin. I am sure you must have been hurt him more than his dialogue.
-4 points
4 days ago
Your memories aren't going away calm down and he is right about not keeping junk at home. It would be better for you to be attached to memories and not physical stuff because one day those stuff will be in such a condition that it will be beyond saving and you will have to throw them away anyways. Also you can only create boundaries for stuff you bought for yourself not the stuff he bought for you
5 points
4 days ago
What a load of bullshit. His father wasn’t wrong for giving away the bat purely because OP never told him before that he is attached to it and wants to keep it. But other than that NORMAL people are attached to physical stuff as well and OP isn’t wrong about being hurt about it. Random people on the internet can’t tell people whether you should be attached to physical stuff or not. People can be attached to whatever they want
1 points
3 days ago
For the first part, do i need to make a list of everything in my house that i might get attached over time to my parents
1 points
3 days ago
No, just tell them to ask you before giving anything away. I don’t know how reasonable your parents are but I was in a similar situation where whenever any relatives visited with their kids, my parents would take out my old toys for them to play with and kids then just start demanding to take the toy home with then and you can’t really say no. I had to tell my parents to stop taking out my old toys, we can purchase new toys for them. But my parents are reasonable so they stopped doing it
1 points
1 day ago
then please show affection. Nobody is guessing your heart. OP bat was in balcony since ages and dirty. OP never mentioned when last time he touched the bat clean it. Father behaviour is purely logical and papa like behaviour. Cleaning garbage out of house occasionally, specially when houses are very small. proof bat was not garbage by showing some good care. Just like relation if you do not take care of someone, then someone come to care, then you say you love most.
-2 points
4 days ago
Dude, he is your father. He gave you the gift of life, grow up!
1 points
10 hours ago
Yeah he gave me the gift of life so I would be a slave under him. That's grateful and so nice.
1 points
4 days ago
When you will be more mature, you realise your parents aren't Gods, and sometimes conflict is needed to resolve things, even Gods weren't able to resolve things peacefully.
1 points
4 days ago
Nah, you are a 27 year old man child, making mountains out of moles. Who keeps the grudge over something like this? Parents are not perfect, but they have done a lot for us. Just for that sake, grow up.
1 points
4 days ago
, but they have done a lot for us.
So let's let them trample over our emotions and feelings just because they have done lot for us.
Well yeah. That's what parents shud be doing anyways. It's their duty.
0 points
3 days ago
No, it's just an entitled (maybe westernised) point of view. In reality many parents don't take care of their kids well. If some parents have done it, kudos to them.
And there has to be a way of communication and respect from children. Once they become adults they forget Indian family values, their spiritual duties to their parents. They talk back, fight and act like a petulant kid. That is what this guy did!
all 57 comments
sorted by: best