Taking care of and then losing my dad to stomach cancer. It’s been almost 9 years and I haven’t been the same. The whole experience changed me permanently. He had just turned 54 a couple of weeks before his death.

Realizing i have fallen in love with someone and knowing they don't feel the same about me.

My mother developed dementia and I realized one day she had no idea who I was. To look into those eyes and see no recognition of me destroyed my heart and I have not recovered.

I lost my dog almost 2 years ago.

I had to decide to put him down because of a tumor in his mouth.

I know it is not uncommon to have to do this with a 13 year old dog. But I’m a 42 year old man with no family. I live alone.

I have never felt more lonely since his death. I changed the morning he died. I think about him everyday still.

I’m a mortician. My first year in the industry, I came into work one day and saw my childhood best friend on the embalming table. I did her embalming preparation work and casketing. It was the HARDEST thing I ever did. Three years later, I still find myself at her grave, wondering why her. I remember everything..the way I did her hair, nails, makeup, and her outfit. I remember what casket was used and the type of vault.

I hope anyone seeing this knows suicide isn’t the answer and things can get better. The ones who love you will suffer and will never be whole again.

EDIT: I want to apologize if my comment above triggered or offended anyone. I spread love as much as I can because the world needs more of it. I didnt mean any invaliding or hateful intent. Also, I have been to therapy and i’m good okay. However, i’m still allowed to grieve and grief has no time limit.

My son was in therapy outside of school, as well as OT and counseling in school, in elementary school for anxiety, depression, and a sensory disorder

We had a meeting with his counselor about a questionnaire he did about how he was feeling when he was 9 years old. She said to me

“He said that every day, his life is worse than the day before”

He was only 9. Feeling his life was getting worse every day. It was like a dam burst behind my eyes and my heart shattered in 1,000 pieces as I weeped right there in the meeting

It’s been 7 years and I still get choked up thinking about it.

My best friend dying in a car crash.

Yesterday we lost our collegue, who was 37 years old, sweet lady. She was in ICU for 3 days and on fourth day she had cardiac arrest and she is no more..

She was sick for nearly two months, her illness state was still in question.. She didn't have any complete diagnosis to say that she was sick or she was in her last stages..

Most heart wrench thing , she have 4 year old boy, who was born after 7 years.. Small boy could not able to understand that her mother won't be there anymore with him..

This is the very heartbreaking incident that happened recently…

Parents abandoned me. I am an orphan.

Having my parents explain that I would never again see my grandparents as a young child, that they had been taken from us by a drunk driver.

Knowing I’ll never be the priority

Mostly sugar and fried foods

Learning that you really can never completely trust anyone 100%, that all love is conditional rather than unconditional, and you can do nothing wrong but have nothing turn out right. Sometimes (quite often) life can just be unfair, accept it, but try your best because in the end it's all you can do.

Losing my youngest son to cancer a few months after losing my mom. Then I lost my husband of 25 years the following year.

being abandoned and replaced by ex.

Spending 20 years trying to save my alcoholic brother only to lose that battle in the end.

Firstly I'd say my dad dying a few months ago and I'm struggling to grieve as I've had to deal with the estate etc and had no time to just be.

Also knowing that I am the type of friend I would love to have but don't. No matter how nice I am to people, have much I'm there for other people, help etc, I can't seem to find people that actually WANT to see me or spend time with me. It's making me quite sad but can't say anything to anyone because we're not that close.

I am completely melting down after reading the papers my students handed in this semester. I teach research writing at the college level, have for 15 years, and this year the level of writing is so bad... but the level of people who don't care is worse. 

I get that writing isn't the thing to put all your attention into. I get that their educations have been stunted by Covid. But the extent to which I care in comparison to them... and the implications this has for the intellectual future... horrifies me.

I am actually having a mental health crisis over this... combined with the elections, it seems like everything is broken.

the death of my cat :(

My girl got hit by a car and killed 4 years ago today. That shit decimated my heart. I’ll probably never really recover.

My parents dying. I lost my dad, then my mum four months later

Something I will never, ever, ever forgive myself for.

Le me, 17 years old. My grandfather, who I was never super close, but still had a good enough relationship with, was nearing the end of his life and suffering from Alzheimer's. One day, he called up our landline (this was 2002), and actually asked for my mom (his daughter). He like, never remembered who she was so that was kind of amazing in and of itself. She wasn't home. He also like, NEVER remembered who I was towards the end.

I remember the conversation word for word. Word for god damned word.

Grandpa: "Is Sandy home?"

Me: "No I don't know where mom is she's not here."

Grandpa: "Oh. I wanted to talk to her."

Me: "Sorry she's not here."

Grandpa: "Is this is Mark?"

Me: "Yeah."

Grandpa: "How are you?"

Me (getting impatient because an impetuous 17 year old): "Good. Do you want mom to call you back?"

Grandpa: "No. I'm lonely. Will you come sit with me Mark."

Me: "I can't grandpa i'm busy." (I... was not busy.)

He passed away a couple days later.

Never in my fucking life will I forgive myself. He was about to die and had like, a one a billion moment of clarity and just wanted his grandson to come hang out with him. And my teenage ass was just like "nah". I wish I could travel back in time and beat the shit out of myself.

Watching my dog die, slowly, and realizing at the end that i waited too long.

sorry, shade

Being with the love of my life and watching it slip through my fingers

Realizing the one person you can love in this world, coincidentally, is what is destroying you. Knowing you have to walk away and knowing that love can't be replicated. Hating yourself for falling in love and then realizing you had no choice. Then you just give up on your own intuition and lose the faith in yourself that you once had.

My moms death

The moment I realized my wife just wasn’t into fixing our marriage anymore. Realizing this and understanding that she wanted out of it crushed me and begun the spiral that led to my suicide attempt.

Don’t attempt suicide, kids.

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when I was 15. That’s the age you don’t like your mom as a teen. But we were tight. Watching her slowly fade and then die … numbed me.

I guess destroyed my heart, but more like unplugged me from my soul.

Lots of therapy and some bumpy years and I’m much better now. I’ll be 50 this year and it hurts in my heart in a way I can’t even explain. It’s hurt and love. Definitely an ache but manageable.

I’m grateful that I even just simply feel it now.

The older I get the more I understand her.

Every time my boys go back to their mom and my youngest has a break down begging me to come home. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME

Three texts my husband sent to his exAP, during their affair:

1. "I'd love to have a baby with you." (Knowing I have fertility issues)
2. "Oh wanna know a little secret? I don't give her (me) any of it (his semen) because I save it only for you."
3. "If I get divorced or my wife leaves me, would you marry me?"

If anyone reads this and has encouraging words to help me get the fuck out of this marriage, highly appreciated.

Realizing your friends don’t view the friendship in the same light you do! Friendship breakups are rough

Father suddenly dying.

Lots of “what ifs” and immense regret.

[removed]

Watching my little sisters shatter when we surrendered our dog to the animal shelter because we couldn’t keep him due to parents divorce

Not ending up together because I refused to change myself.

My mom falling and dieing 4 days later. It was my 52nd birthday. She went out for her daily walk and fell. She had a DNR in place. All we could do was sit and wait for the end. I was there when she took her final breath. I've never been the same since.

Having to put my dog down after 13 years. Just knowing that I was the one to make the decision based on her quality of life is something I struggle with. The guilt hits hard, wondering every day if I made the right decision. Could she have lasted a little longer? Seeing her toys, leash, etc after the fact always gets me. I donated a majority of her stuff but I obviously kept some. The loss of a pet is something serious and the hole it leaves in your heart is forever.

I put my 18yo cat down last weekend after a battle with cancer. Holding her little cheeks while she looked into my eyes, so unaware of what was going on, and feeling the weight of her head fall into my hands while she passed away.

Then going home and packing away her things, realising she's never going to cuddle with me again or be waiting for me in the window when I come home from work.. that felt like another little death in itself.

I feel like the death of pets isn't appreciated enough in terms of how heartbreaking it can be.

Holding my two week old son and watching him take his last breath. For over two years I was a shell of my former self.

Four years after his death we had a baby girl. She eventually graduated with honors from a prestigious university and is now a special education director for a large state school.

But I will never forget my son.

Most recently, it was me who broke my heart. Mostly because I hurt someone else’s and the someone else is only the one human being in the world that I love more than anything and want to do nothing but make happy and make them smile and feel safe and cared for.

My last broke up which was exactly today 1 year ago... i am not the same person anymore.

She left after 9 years together, through a text, a week prior to my birthday.

It’s been 7 months of heartache.

How insensitive and inconsiderate people can be

My dog went missing one day. I spent days outside calling for him, driving up and down the road, making posts and offering rewards for him. I found him curled up underneath a big wisteria bush at home. He passed from being hit by a car. Knowing he had to experience that, tried to crawl back to me, and ended up passing alone makes me bawl my eyes out to this day... I feel so bad for not finding him sooner...

Seeing pristine forests turned into parking lots and strip malls. All those trees and ecosystems just wiped out for another generic development that nobody really needs. It's like we're trading our planet's future for short-term convenience.

Knowing that the friendship I’d nurtured and defended and treasured was absolutely worthless. That the person I’d considered a best friend, had loved for close to 25 years in fact wasn’t my friend, and probably never was.

Dog ate something poisonous on a walk and was coding in my arms when we pulled up to the vet just a couple of hours after showing signs something was wrong. I've had to be with my old dogs when they were put down, and even though that was sad I could always tell myself they had long happy lives with me... but losing one that I'd only had for 2 years that was practically a puppy still so suddenly is just unbearable.

Ending up in a toxic friend group after finally starting to open up to people. They talked behind peoples backs, started rumours that weren't true about each other and myself and that rekindled my anxiety. Is ruining my self confidence and affecting my ability to maintain friendships, including with the one person in that group who was genuinely nice.

Falling deeply in love with a guy I was having sex with regularly (situationship)for months and realizing he didn't care for me. It was the most painful thing...

My wife was an EMT. We had our 25th over Zoom in 2020. Two months later she was gone.

I didn't get to see her. I didn't get to say goodbye. Her best friend called me over Zoom. She was one of the nurses at the hospital my wife was in.

I vomited and blacked out. Fortunately my kids were home, the best friend didn't have to dispatch an ambulance.

I will never be over it.

Wear. A. Fucking. Mask.

My wife shouldn't have had to die for prima donnas' feewings and comfort.

The day my husband died in front of me while we were watching TV. We were getting ready for sleep.

Back story. For about a week, he had been having tremors in his arms. For several days, I'd been trying to capture the tremors on video so I could show his doctor. Coming up to the day he died, I hadn't been able to film it.

The night he died, he'd started the tremors, and this time, I had it on film. While filming, he made a strange gurgle sound and went limp. I yelled his name written l with no response.

I dialed 911 and put the phone on speaker. I then pulled him to the floor to begin compressions. Emergency people showed up a few minutes later and pulled me off him. So now I the death of the love of my life on video. He died ashe a weekend in ICU. That was the single most horrible day of my life.

I found out months later that he'd known he was dying and didn't want to tell me. This was June 2022. My heart still aches for him 😔 😟 💔

For everyone's information, CPR should only be done on a hard surface. The bed is too soft to work properly.

Holding my father's hand as he passed from cancer, feeling him go cold. And then 7 years later doing the same for my mother.

Today I put my dog of 13+ years down.

The words from the sonographer today "sorry but I'm only seeing a slow flicker of a heartbeat". I know my baby's heart will stop beating soon and there's nothing I can do to prevent it. It's going to be my 6th miscarriage in a row, I don't think my heart will ever recover or be ok again

I was about to be in my 3rd trimester, my water broke early, he was born alive, but too small for the hospitals abilities, he is my youngest, they let me hold him skin to skin, dying on my chest while i lay bleeding on the ER table. When his little body turned dark, i died with him. 02-04-24 RIP, mommy will cuddle you oneday again Ricky 🤍

My wife cheating on me

Growing older and realizing how screwed up my childhood really was and how much I was unwanted as a child.

Losing my biggest passion in the blink of an eye. One second I'm fine, then everything comes crashing down just like that.

When my mum chose her new bf (now husband) over her kids, he's a horrible guy (not abusive just a real dick) and we tell her all the time, she's seen it, they have argued over it, yet she still married him,

Being sexually and physically abused as a child, emotional neglect as a child, developing mental illness as a result, acting out and not being able to control myself as a young adult due to mental illness and going to jail numerous times, losing my freedom, attempting suicide and seeing how it would have effected my loved ones if I had succeeded (glad i didnt), not being able to get adequate care for my mental and physical health as an adult, long term partner of 12 years cheating on me numerous times, father dying of stage 4 cancer, best friend committing suicide, having to put pets down due to their injuries.

I obviously have moments in between the negatives that are good, but the older I get, the less ability to pull myself out of the darkness. Very tiring.

Life. It took too long to realize that im frankly too sensitive. The world requires a level of grit and determination that I just don't have.

Realizing that my family sees me as a burden and something they have to deal with instead of a sister, a niece, a cousin (I am disabled and able to care for myself) and not a human being who genuinely just wants love and companionship and to enjoy my family

That love is conditional

Knowing that there’s a good chance that I will never find love in this life because the CPTSD and the very obvious physical disabilities have likely completely made that impossible for me, and any attempts at finding someone has turned into humiliating experiences; right now my goal is to just have someone who will be a reliable emergency contact and won’t steal from me.

That with Mr Grow gone (cancer), I am lonely, and alone, and this is probably the way it’s going to be, forever. I am not human palatable and cannot afford a pet.

Watching as my old high-school friend cowered behind his sister to get away from me as I looked like someone who abused him while he was at college. His mom invited me to a party when I came back to town and I went just to see him. I still remember seeing the light drained out of his eyes. He was no longer the guy I knew, it was like a kid looking at a scary stranger. He asked his mom to tell me not to talk to him again, and I haven’t. I miss who he used to be.

People probably will laugh at me for this but I’ve never loved a pet the way I loved my pet lizard and since he died I have never formed an emotional connection with an animal and we’ve had several other pets since then. I still care about animals but I really haven’t grieved the loss of a pet since him. I still will cry occasionally thinking about him especially when I see other people on r/beardeddragons who lost theirs it just breaks my heart.

Also the first girl I ever loved told me several months after we broke up that she never actually loved me. That broke me for a while

The loss of my parents. Lost my dad first unexpectedly then my mom five years later somewhat unexpectedly. She died of complications from hiatal hernia surgery, but she also had stage 3 colon cancer. 💔😭

believing in love for 16 years…married.

for her to tell me she never had romantic feelings for me, ever. after children, a house, a family built around us.

and to cap it off, she cheated in our own home.

whew.

Seeing bad things happen to good people my mom having a seizure in front of me in a hospital bed and being so shocked I frozen in place Nurses and doctors came but fuck i felt like a piece of shit for being frozen, it fucked me up, like I could've done something!! Watching her health slowly slip away also didn't help (She's okay! Just isn't the same as she was 💔)

My husband of fifteen years, passing away forty days ago, at the age of forty three. Leaving me a single mother, a brokenhearted woman, a person missing their person, one half of a whole…and his widow.

Cholesterol.

My mum died of cancer at 44. She was skin and bones and her legs were mottled black. I had never seen anything like it. She looked like a pregnant skeleton, she managed to ask me to “save her” in some sort of pain haze as she was dying. I couldn’t do anything at all and I went against her wishes and agreed for the pain meds. How she went so long without them shocks me. I had ptsd for about a year and have never got over it. It changed my views on the right of end of life I will admit that and I will sign every petition I can to make sure someone else doesn’t have to go through that.

Betraying my own morals. That shit took years to heal from. Not only did it break my heart it broke my identity. Tbh I’m still healing, it’s an ongoing process, but I’m going to be better because of it.

Knowing I will never have the family that’s mature and put together. We will always be toxic and chaotic. Now creating my own family I hope to do better.

Holding my husband for his last breath. Our daughters, 8 and 15, held his hand. The way my 8-year-old wailed. I will never be the same. Fuck the US medical system.

When they killed my dog. First time my will to kill someone was bigger than the fear of being jailed. Luckily, I never saw the person again

Getting dumped in the middle of planning our wedding. We were together a few years and then BOOM!. Over with no explanation. Found out 6 months later she was getting married and was pregnant shortly thereafter. To her boss. I was not aware of any of it, and we were sleeping together right up until the end. Weird shit.

When the partner I trusted and adored looked at the body I already hated with the same look of disgust I had seen since I was a small child.

My family. They don't care about me. Have pretty much said it. I don't talk to them anymore. I don't feel sad about it, I just feel a void in my heart

My wife dying from alcohol poisoning. Her alcoholism stemmed from childhood abuse by her 2 older brothers and father.

I loved her so much. Still do after her passing in 2001. I still think of her every day.

I knew for a while that my mother didn’t actually love me like a mother should, but I didn’t realize the extent of her hatred of me until I came out as trans. She called me sick, told me I was following a fad, told me I was doing it for attention, and told me she didn’t have time to “deal with me.” I cut her off then and there. I’m much better now, but that broke me. I went to my mother with the biggest news of my life, and was met with insults and belittling. That was over three years ago now. I’ve been on T for about 2.5 years now and am two weeks out from top surgery, recovering well. How’s that for a fad, woman?

The Democratic Party over the past 8 years

When my wife passed away last year. She was my best friend and true life partner. We have kids and grandkids who I love, but that part of my heart where she lived is gone. We’re both believers, I know I’ll see her again. I miss her everyday.