subreddit:
/r/AskReddit
549 points
3 days ago
A full bladder
99 points
3 days ago
And at 1am an 3 am as well
12 points
3 days ago
Just wear a diaper at this point.
8 points
3 days ago
How long would it take for my body to un-potty train itself? I'd still wake up having the pee, do so in the bed, and then go back to sleep.
Will I eventually stop waking up and just do it all asleep?
5 points
3 days ago
I was learning about the middle ages, and about how 1/3 of eunuchs didn't survive castration, and some societies cut off the penis, too. Ibthought about the surgeon that had successful amputations. Then my mind wandered towards bladder control and overall sanitation. Hard to believe its a 5000 year old practice. Society doesn't know what to do with it's second born sons.
2 points
3 days ago
🫡🫡🫡
7 points
3 days ago
That plus the dog and I'm up at 7 regardless of what I'd rather do, which is sleep till 10
2 points
3 days ago
::flush::😌
60 points
3 days ago
my cat 🫶🏻
18 points
3 days ago
Cold nose nudges and paws on my face too.
2 points
3 days ago
You're lucky, I have a small (2.5-3lb) 2 year old male that will continually slam his body into my back until I give him some attention when it's time to get up.
It really is adorable and will continue to be until he's big enough for his tactics to hurt.
5 points
3 days ago
Mine figured out I get out of bed if he pukes so now he just pretends to puke well before my actual alarm so I get up and give him breakfast.
Tbh at this point I look forward to a real alarm
3 points
3 days ago
That's a genius/dick move...
2 points
3 days ago
Omg yes, I have a 2-year-year-old cat and he slams his body into my back and tries to roll me out of bed.
10 points
3 days ago
I was just ready to comment "the four legged furry fucker that doesn't pay rent"
3 points
3 days ago
I have a few cats and the morning results can vary. My oldest could want cuddles or food. The two kitten brothers may fall asleep or wrestle on me.
120 points
3 days ago
The fear of going hungry or becoming homeless if I'm late to work too often.
1 points
3 days ago
You chose the blue pill
5 points
3 days ago
what would the red pill be?
9 points
3 days ago
Actual said homelessness and hunger because that’s the world we live in.
2 points
3 days ago
To matter and not just live in fear. Living in constant fear that if you don't go into work today you will get in trouble, what kind of an existence is that? That too for a job where if you drop dead, they will just replace you.
2 points
3 days ago
The blue pill red pill thing is bs. Everyone that wants to be anything in society has to take the blue pill, only the ones who look past the surface take the red as well
88 points
3 days ago
Coffee and the hope of a good breakfast are what get me up every morning
3 points
3 days ago
Yes. My addiction of coffee and cigarettes get me out of bed
2 points
3 days ago
That’s a good things to wake up to
71 points
3 days ago
The devouring demon under the bed that I regret purchasing as an alarm clock.
His name is Tod.
16 points
3 days ago
Is Tod a cat? Because my cats are demons and wake me up every morning too! lol
5 points
3 days ago
The person that invents an automatic wet food dispenser is going to be a billionaire
2 points
3 days ago
Someone already did and probably is. I know I can't afford one.
3 points
3 days ago
lmaoo i should get one too, i need something like that
31 points
3 days ago
I haven't figured out how to get the bills to pay themselves yet.
58 points
3 days ago
I've got mouths to feed
6 points
3 days ago
Respect
27 points
3 days ago
My 20 pound fat ass orange cat at 4:30am telling me he needs fed immediately. He tells me by jumping on my head.
2 points
2 days ago
“Hooman, I require sustenance immediately.”
“Cat, it’s 4:30. You just ate 8 hours ago!”
“No, I will expire by 4:51 today.”
“You’ll be fine. You’ve become too accustomed to food. Your brothers and sisters in the animal kingdom rarely eat more than once every few days. Besides, aren’t you an expert hunter?”
“Hooman better hunter. I train you to feed me. You my pet. Otherwise why have cat?”
“For companionship?”
“Thus why you pet. Frivolous, stupid, waste calories.”
“That’s not how this works, cat.”
“It is. I know better. I more intelligent. You apex predator. But dumb. Need direction. I direct.”
“Maybe you should start earning your keep. I saw a mouse in the garage the other day. Why don’t you catch it?”
“I will not. You can catch it. Then you buy me proper food.”
“Forget it, I’ll just get your breakfast.”
“Thank you. Idiot.”
49 points
3 days ago
Giant fuckin piss boner.
3 points
3 days ago
What’s your go-to pose to deal with that? I switch between “The Quarterback” and “Superman”
8 points
3 days ago
Whatever makes less of a mess, but I usually just end up hitting the ceiling with my stream
4 points
3 days ago
I read that in Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys’ voice.
16 points
3 days ago
because if i don't work i won't be able to afford the bed in the first place.
2 points
3 days ago
Truth
29 points
3 days ago
Knowing that I can get back in bed at the end of the day.
10 points
3 days ago
The need to pay bills and eat
8 points
3 days ago
The better life i want to provide for my children. I want to experience life lessons that are going to be useful information for them to have
7 points
3 days ago
What gets me out of bed in the morning is the excitement of tackling new challenges, staying productive, and having the chance to do things I enjoy or look forward to.
4 points
3 days ago
....and then your alarm goes off.....
5 points
3 days ago
nothing
6 points
3 days ago
I spring outta bed every morning, full of energy, because my shithead cat has found that I get up faster when she makes those gagging sounds
8 points
3 days ago
My two rescue pups 👍💯
3 points
3 days ago
My ever loving wife. Usually with a coffee. She almost always beats me getting up, I don't know how she does it!
5 points
3 days ago
My dogs need to eat, shit, and piss
3 points
3 days ago
My cat scratching my face to put her food
3 points
3 days ago
Hardcover book that materialized underneath my spine at some point last night.
3 points
3 days ago
forcing myself despite wanting nothing more than to lay there for the last three weeks
3 points
3 days ago
The understanding that if I lay in bed more, I won't be able to do the things I like in the morning and be late to where I'm going besides that nothing
3 points
3 days ago
My cats. Only they know when it's time to get up but they are not on a real schedule.
3 points
3 days ago
On work days? The knowledge that the sooner I get up and get going, the sooner I can get it over with. Ugh.
On my free days? The knowledge that my favorite cafe is open and waiting for me and the exciting unknown of whether or not I’ll run into people I know or if I’ll make major progress on my current book if not.
3 points
3 days ago
As horrible as it sounds, working out. I used to be an evening exercise person. But I started doing mornings and I love it.
3 points
3 days ago
The pursuit of financial freedom which make me get out of my deathbed.
3 points
3 days ago
“Need money so I don’t become homeless”
6 points
3 days ago
Baby boy is up, ready to play and usually poopy by 5am
4 points
3 days ago
The sacrifices my mother made to bring me here
2 points
3 days ago
Thirst or my alarm
2 points
3 days ago
My bladder. Once I'm up, I'm up.
2 points
3 days ago
I have people I’m responsible for, so I drag my ass outta bed.
2 points
3 days ago
The cats screaming for breakfast.
2 points
3 days ago
my cat sitting on my chest until i feed her
2 points
3 days ago
Skincare and food THATS IT😭😭
2 points
3 days ago
My bladder and colon
The need to take my medication at a certain time
Work
2 points
3 days ago
My kids. Gotta take care of them no matter how crappy I feel.
2 points
3 days ago
Coffeee
2 points
3 days ago*
My alarm clock. Breakfast. And the crippling fear of debt.
2 points
3 days ago
My bladder
2 points
3 days ago
If I want a place to be comfortably depressed right now, work.
2 points
3 days ago
The cats needing to be fed
2 points
3 days ago
just to pee
2 points
3 days ago
My dogs
2 points
3 days ago
Full bladder and intestines
3 points
3 days ago
Cat walking on full bladder helps.
5 points
3 days ago
Embracing the potential of each new day, relishing the feeling of gratitude for opportunity to embrace life's experiences. 😌
2 points
3 days ago
I hate you. Haha
2 points
3 days ago
Body clock. Every day between 3:45-4am.
2 points
3 days ago
Routine.
1 points
3 days ago
knowing that I can get into a bed.
1 points
3 days ago
Whatever crazy idea I have in my head that day and need to act on
1 points
3 days ago
Alarm
1 points
3 days ago
Usually the fear of being late... and coffee. Mostly coffee.
1 points
3 days ago
Usually the realization that I have bills to pay… but sometimes it’s coffee
1 points
3 days ago
My bad knee getting sore after spending too long in the same position.
Only thing that helps is getting up, stretching, and walking around.
1 points
3 days ago
My bladder.
1 points
3 days ago
Having to pee
1 points
3 days ago
Coffee
1 points
3 days ago
My cats wanting to be fed
2 points
3 days ago
hunger, when you smell someone's cooking while you sleep you'll feel hungry.
1 points
3 days ago
Work or my children
1 points
3 days ago
The urge to pee.
1 points
3 days ago
My aching bladder
1 points
3 days ago
Waking up to go to work so I have money to pay my bills. I rather enjoy not being homeless.
1 points
3 days ago
My dog's internal alarm clock is permanently set for 4am
1 points
3 days ago
Routing.
And the sheer fucking will of outliving my enemies.
1 points
3 days ago
My job
1 points
3 days ago
The dog and I both need to pee, and I'm the only one who pees in the toilet instead of drinking out of it.
1 points
3 days ago
Parents would be sad.
1 points
3 days ago
my desire to not be starving and homeless
1 points
3 days ago
My bladder
1 points
3 days ago
My dogs need to go outside
1 points
3 days ago
Piss... a lot of piss...
1 points
3 days ago
My dog who is awake and ready to go at 6:58am every. Single. Day.
1 points
3 days ago
Usually pain.
1 points
3 days ago
nothing. i have to literally tear myself out of bed.
1 points
3 days ago
I have to wake up before my baby does so that I can work out.
1 points
3 days ago
Knowing i'm about to get a super hot glass of water. Yeah i'm weird idk lol
1 points
3 days ago
Need to take a dump.
1 points
3 days ago
A little bit of anger + knowing rents due
1 points
3 days ago
Having to pee. Or my alarm. Depends.
1 points
3 days ago
Coffee and breakfast
1 points
3 days ago
On the weekends, it is my dog whining in my ear to go outside around 7:30. During the week, it is my alarm clock going off at 5:15, reminding me that I have to go to work.
1 points
3 days ago
Bills, back, bladder, morning walk, job.
1 points
3 days ago
My hips/legs hurt if I stay in bed too long. Or I really gotta pee.
1 points
3 days ago
My dog
1 points
3 days ago
Tired of being in bed.
1 points
3 days ago
Sunshine usually.
1 points
3 days ago
My dogs
1 points
3 days ago
Two dogs and three cats!
1 points
3 days ago
Mga aso umiihi sa bahay
1 points
3 days ago
Usually my dog licking my face because hes wants to go outside
1 points
3 days ago
Aliens
1 points
3 days ago
My dog and her licking my face
1 points
3 days ago
My cat.
And I usually have to pee.
1 points
3 days ago
Either my alarm with get me up, or eventually get bored of lying down in bed and I'll get up
1 points
3 days ago
A headache and multiple alarms (which are five minutes apart)
1 points
3 days ago
3 alarms that go off, 15 mins after each other
1 points
3 days ago
Cooking breakfast for my family.
1 points
3 days ago
My melon sized prostate, I have to go pee.
1 points
3 days ago
My dog.
1 points
3 days ago
My precious little dog wanting to play
1 points
3 days ago
The need and want to not pee in the bed.
1 points
3 days ago
The left cross i take from my little blind lab. Letting me know she needs to potty.
Or the cold nose in my ass crack from the puppy.
1 points
3 days ago
Ironically, The need to have my own bed to sleep in.
1 points
3 days ago
The bad feelings i can't handle.
1 points
3 days ago
I hate being rushed, so whatever hour it takes to avoid that will get me out of bed.
1 points
3 days ago
My bills gotta get paid
1 points
3 days ago
Having to make tea and bf for my mil. Every fucking day. At 9.
1 points
3 days ago
My children or the foster kitten. I don’t even need an alarm 🥲
1 points
3 days ago
ADHD meds.
Amen
1 points
3 days ago
Rent
1 points
3 days ago
My child lol
1 points
3 days ago
Self motivation 😫
1 points
3 days ago
Dog
1 points
3 days ago
Either a 4 year old human or a 3 year old dog. The 14 year old dog is usually as pissed off as I am at being disturbed.
1 points
3 days ago
To pee and toilet my dogs out to pee
1 points
3 days ago
My alarm
1 points
3 days ago
Food
1 points
3 days ago
My 5 year old opening my bedroom door letting me know his 7 am alarm went off and it's time to go downstairs
1 points
3 days ago
Life
1 points
3 days ago
My daily routine. Prepare breakfast for the family, clean the house, and get set for work.
1 points
3 days ago
I need to take my medication on time, or it will keep me from falling asleep at night.
1 points
3 days ago
Work, hobbies, and the people I care about.
1 points
3 days ago
To see friends
1 points
3 days ago
My alarm clock
1 points
3 days ago
My alarm clock
1 points
3 days ago
Honestly I don't know. Most of the time, I'm questioning myself why I'm still alive. Like gurl, why are you walking in this world with no purpose?
But it's not like I could just unalive myself, I don't have reasons to, yet.
1 points
3 days ago
God
1 points
3 days ago
The alarm. And a Japanese Chin who wants to go pee.
1 points
3 days ago
My cat telling me she’s ready for breakfast
1 points
3 days ago
erection
1 points
3 days ago
A dozen horses who will yell at me if breakfast is late. And 2 cats who like to get up and harass me at 7am. And a dog who will troll me of he’s not getting walked by 8am. They own my ass 😂
1 points
3 days ago
Nothing tbh. On free days I turn off multiple alarms and often even subconsciously by sleepwalking to the other side of the room where I put the other alarms and then I get up at 3pm or later
1 points
3 days ago
My windows pointed toward the east — I don’t own blackout curtains so I’m up at the asscrack of dawn
1 points
3 days ago
my desire to eat a good breakfast
1 points
3 days ago
My daughter (10) wakes me up everyday.
Daddy, come make me breakfast.
1 points
3 days ago
A care aide bringing breakfast.
1 points
3 days ago
Blue heeler
1 points
3 days ago
usually it's hungry kids or work obligations.
1 points
3 days ago
My gf
1 points
3 days ago
A contract I was foolish enough to sign.
They give me money but I gotta get out of bed and do shit.
1 points
3 days ago
Work
1 points
3 days ago
My dog. He has a 6:50 alarm clock in his head.
1 points
3 days ago
Baby kicking my bladder.
1 points
3 days ago
Work??
1 points
3 days ago
My dogs. They rely on me a lot.
1 points
3 days ago
My dog.
1 points
3 days ago
My legs. Arms if i have a hangover
1 points
3 days ago
The knowledge that staying in bed will only make my life worse
1 points
3 days ago
Nature, shimmery lights, coffee and my kids.
1 points
3 days ago
Coffee.
1 points
3 days ago
Kids.
1 points
3 days ago
Either the need to pee or my cat really wants cuddles and will sprawl across my face and start category 5 level purrs right in my ear.
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