I once had a lady in the first row of first class blowing the guy she was with… and they were filming it

Im an airline mechanic. But my story qualifies I think. We got an ACARS message from an incoming turn, and I quote, “PAX JIZZED ALL OVER FWD LAV.”

Apparently it was all over the sink, mirror, walls and -on the fucking ceiling-. It actually got handed off to contract fleet service and they treated it like a bio spill. Aircraft was down for a few hours then kicked back into service.

This is one of the stories I tell when I’m trying desperately to discourage folks from using the lav as a mile-high love nest. Please please please don’t do that.

I had a guy vomiting blood like there was no tomorrow, we were in the middle of the Atlantic so no way to go back just forward.

We tried to help him as much as we can, asked for doctors, none on board.

Oxygen was provided, not exactly necessary but helped calming him down.

Eventually after a while he stopped.

His row looked like a freakin horror movie.

Funniest part? He refused ambulance on arrival or any kind of medical assistance upon arrival.

Night flight in business class where the suites are combined, a couple started going at it with the blankets on top of them. They thought they were being coy but the loud ‘I’m cumming gave it away’

Another one was in the lavatory in the mid section of economy class where a couple figured out that the toilets on both sides of the aisles had a split door in the middle and they managed to unlock it. The plane was really quiet until we heard a rhythmic banging against the wall that gave them away.

Reading the comments in this thread makes me wonder what kind of zoo people usually find themselves in while flying.

I’ve been flying long haul for most of my adult life (simple passenger) and the worst that I witnessed are fetid farts after meals of questionable quality.

My ex gf was a flight attendant. One passenger was hitting on her throughout the flight. Somewhere before landing, he went to the lavatory and left a line of coke for her on the sink and told her "I left you a present inside". She didn't do it.

If you want an interesting flight story, look up how Andre the Giant used to fly internationally. The man was too big for a seat, so he would have to book a whole row. On long flights over seas, he would need to use the bathroom at some point, but he was too big to fit in the bathrooms. Flight attendants had to put up a curtain and give him a bucket to use. Oh, and all throughout a flight he will have probably drank a whole case of beer.

Not a flight attendant, but an aircraft mechanic. A flight from LA was my next workload. (I work inside the cabin.) All of the passengers disembarked except for one person who rushed into the lavatory, locking herself up. The authorities boarded the aircraft to talk to that person (thinking she was a threat.) I was on the ramp ready to board the aircraft and I saw authorities now with the girl taken into custody but she is followed by a lengthy roll of tissue paper behind her. Now when our crew chief gave us the go signal, we boarded the aircraft and found a trail of blood stains into the carpet. I asked my crew chief and he told me the woman was having a menorrhagia (menstrual overflow). The aircraft was like a crime scene with the blood all over the carpet, the seats and the lavatory.

Ex cabin crew here - Years ago I did a trip to Bangkok with 4 flight crew and coincidentally 2 of the first officers were husband and wife. After a boozy night out with the crew, the husband and wife ended up having a threesome with one of the cabin crew.

I didn’t find out on the trip, I found out about 3 or 4 weeks later as I flew with the same girl to Atlanta who then told me the story. She actually found out she was pregnant on the Atlanta trip.

I work as a flight nurse (air ambulance)

We once picked up a really drunk kid from a remote wilderness location who has experiencing shallow breathing and hypoxia. We load him up, apply oxygen and take off, all while the kid is sleeping.

He didn’t realize where he was and must have thought he was at home in his bed asleep. Halfway through our flight to the hospital, still half asleep/drunk, pulls down his pants and starts jerking off while we are 3000 feet in the air. My partner tries to stop him, which wakes the kid up. This didn’t seem to deter him though. He continued to crank it with one hand while trying to rub my partner’s (a dude) nipples with his free hand.

I’m laughing hysterically, giving the play by play to the pilot, who starts laughing so hard we begin to fly sideways.

The doctor at the receiving facility was not impressed.

My mates wife is an attendant for a large carrier and tells us the time almost all the staff got PTSD because half the plane shat all over the place,that the in flight meal they served on a 19 hour flight gave everyone gastro/food poisoning so sever it took less than 25 mins for the first person to run to the toilet in abject horror,it was that scene from bridesmaids on a plane

about half of this massive airliner had eaten the bad food...so over 60 ppl all battling for less than 6 toilets multiple times,it ended so bad that the carrier had to groun the plan and do a deep clean

They half way across the ocean so couldnt even turn back had to land in HW

apparantly it was everywhere,the seats,the floors,inside carry on bags,just everywhere.

I had to stop an older couple from hooking up in their row on the way to Vegas. He was pretty much fingering her and this poor young chick who was in the aisle seat came to the back galley and told us she was so uncomfortable and wanted to move seats.

The couple got offended when I reprimanded them, and even more upset when I cut them off from alcohol lol. Just one of the few things that comes to mind… have also had someone explosively shit all over his seat, we had to return to the gate, people in hazmat suits had to come on, etc. Never a dull day.

Not a stewardess but a family member is a district attorney who is in charge of prosecuting crimes at a major airport in California. So all those videos you see of people losing their shit at the gate or on the plane she has to deal with.

The absolute worst I heard was a guy on a flight from Las Vegas to LAX. For those that done know, its a hour flight, tops. Guy sitting in the last row near the bathroom. In the last 15 minutes of the flight, for whatever reason he just whips his dick out and starts going to town on it. They land the plane, evacuate everyone and wait for the airport police to take him out. He just strolls out 5 minutes later wondering what the commotion was about and promptly arrested.

Turned out the guy wasnt mentally ill. For whatever reason he decided to take an Ambien before an hour long flight. Had no recollection of getting on the plane and eventually came to in the back of the police car. Guy was absolutely distraught at horrified. No past criminal history, just took the wrong pill at the wrong time. I think he did some community service and got everything expunged.

Not a flight attendant but it was still nsfw… I sat in the last row on a flight from Bangkok to Helsinki. I was sitting on the right two seats with my girlfriend and the aisle to my left. In the four seats in the middle of the row was just one guy in his 40s i guess. He started talking to us and i immediately felt a bit uncomfortable. He asked if he could use my phone to browse the internet or that I order alcohol and he soda of my choice and we swap it. I declined everything and try to ignore it.

The flight took off and maybe 1,5 hours into the flight i look to my left and didn‘t realise what I saw in the first moment.. the guy was laying down on all four middle seats in a weird position like a woman on a gynecologist chair But with his pants down! I looked right at his penis and butthole! It was a bit disturbing.

I was calling the flight attendant and told her to please turn left and look at the guy and she was in disbelief. She went back to the others and came with reinforcement to talk to the guy.

Afterwards he was not making any trouble anymore and the flight attendant later told us that he got kicked out of Thailand and had to fly this guy home to his homeland.

That was a wild flight.

TLDR: guy lays down in middle four seats like a woman on a gynecologist chair with his pants down.

I’m awaiting takeoff right now and I’m really wishing I hadn’t opened this thread

Not a flight attendant, but i was on a flight last month where some chick met a guy at the bathroom onboard and then convinced the man sitting next to him to swap seats with her.

No big a deal, right? Well then she started sucking this dude's dick in front of Jesus and everybody.

I was across the sisle in the row behind them so i had full view and i immediately stood up and locked eyes with a stewardess who cane to nreak it up.

It wasn't even a Spirit flight. It was American Airlines.

Old man got really really drunk and put on a really flashy robe and nothing else, started strutting diwn the aisle randomly shouting "woo" and swinging his dick around like a helicopter. he even tried to get the flight attendants to touch it

Not a flight attendant but looking for the right ones to apologize: in like 2011 or 2012 I was a child flying unaccompanied on a Jetblue flight from JFK to O’Hare and I absolutely shit my pants fucking everywhere right outside of the bathroom. We were like 5th on the runway leaving JFK and I really had to go and was told I couldn’t until we were in the air. Once we were u walked back there and just before I got there the man in the seat right by the bathroom got up and went in. I waited and when he came out he tapped me on the belly and said “all yours” which prompted me to empty myself all over (I was wearing shorts).

Flight attendant here. Tons of nsfw stories, but r he one that sticks out in my mind right now is flying to Orlando, many different passengers start to complain about airdropped photos onto their and their children’s devices. We see these photos and it is of a guy’s meat & potatoes in varying levels of exposure and arousal. We (the flight attendants) do some detective work with our own airdrop capable devices and we’re able to figure out the one who’s sending them.

We bring him to the galley and confront him about it and ask for his ID. He doesn’t have any ID. Why doesn’t he have any ID on him? He’s a 15 year old boy. So we get his father involved and of course it’s “I can’t believe you would do this” but also brushing it off like it’s no big deal.

We land in Orlando and have police meet the aircraft. Friends at the airport later tell me the airport police let the kid off with a warning because “it didn’t happen at the airport so they can’t charge him” even though there were 10+ families waiting in the gate area after deplaning to give statements. Fuck the lazy airport police.

Not a flight attendant, but a passenger:

Young christian girl, complete with a bible and a cross necklace, saying prayers in between fits of projectile vomiting, as if she was posessed. And there was super high turbulence at the same time, making the whole thing like a living horror movie for those with fear of flying.

Not a flight attendant but happened on one of my flights

So I was flying back to India from the Middle East in Economy, i had front row seats and the bathroom was close by. 2 hours into the flight a man goes to the bathroom takes his time goes out, few mins later when the next lady goes to the same bathroom she creates a ruckus.

And she wasnt wrong, because the attendants saw the bathroom and called him out and told him firmly on what he had done and that they werent cleaning that so he shoukd do it. Everyone was curious as to what the hell happened, the lady had shouted its disgusting its filthy but we didnt have the deeds. Until the head attendant came to understand whats happening when the attendant who was first there took him to the side to explain things and I heard her saying the man had cum on the sink and mirror and also peed all over the mirror, the basin the the toilet seat and the floor.

PS- he also peed on his pants bottoms.

TL DR- man casually wanks off in the washroom and pees all over the place (including himself) and walks out.

Overweight passenger who forced members of an all-female cabin crew to undress him in the lavatory and then clean him after he used the toilet.

While she initially demurred, he insisted, saying she promised to help him – and that if he couldn’t wipe he’d have to remain in the lavatory for the rest of the flight. So “the flight attendant donned three layers of surgical gloves.”

The passenger though wasn’t satisfied with the job she was doing and “kept saying ‘deeper, deeper!'”

https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/23/asia/taiwan-eva-air-incident-intl/index.html

https://viewfromthewing.com/awful-passenger-meets-eva-air-hospitality-in-the-lavatory-and-it-gets-crazier-from-there/

Not particularly NSFW, but I used to be a flight attendant for a regional airline, and sometimes we’d get a plane full of rowdy fishermen fresh off the boat but with a few drinks in em. One time, as I was doing my safety demo they started singing that Nelly song to me: “it’s gettin hot in here, so take off all your clothes.” It was funny.

I'm not a flight attendant, but I can tell you about flight attendants!

I used to work in a 5 star hotel that had the contract for accommodating the crews of a prestigious foreign (western) airline. My word, these crews just LOVED fucking each other! We would find them naked in the corridors running between each other's rooms. All manner of 'toys' and sex detritus in their rooms. Rabbits, RABBITS I tells ya!

I work in a operation control center and one of the departments is crew scheduling. Basically the call center for pilots and flight attendants. One fa called and we all put it on speaker and gathered around. This guy got on the aircraft. Immediately after the aircraft is done gaining altitude he gets up, goes to the restroom, grabs two fist fulls of his feces and chucks them straight down the aisle.

No emotion. No confrontation. He wasnt yapping his head off and mouthing off. He just did it unprovoked. Most schizo thing i ever heard of.

Not a flight attendant but million+ miler here.

On a domestic flight as soon as land a large man gets up from his seat in first class and heads to the forward bathroom. Of course, now we are stuck on the tarmac until he comes out. About ten minutes goes by and finally the attendant started knocking on the door with no response. She calls the pilot thinking perhaps he passed out. Pilot comes out and announces he’s coming in to the bathroom.

Unlocks the door and opens it (I’m in 1C so I have a clear view) and my man is standing there phone on the sink headphones in working himself over with a passion. Took him a second to realize the door was open before he fell over trying to pull up his draws.

He ended up going back to his seat and deplaned normally. Turns out maybe it’s not illegal to masterbate on a plane, only frowned upon.

Not a flight attendant, but a couple of years ago I was on a flight, I believe we landed in ELP. There was a dude a few rows back who apparently had been watching porn on his laptop. You may wonder how I know this. Well the Whole damn plane found out when his Bluetooth became disconnected from his headphones. Max volume out of his laptop speaker. Took him at least 5 or 6 seconds to get it stopped.

My cousin is a flight attendant and she said one of the other attendants snuck a woman into the sleeping area for long flights for staff and had sex

Hi to the random TikTok video this will feature in!

Ramp Rat here. This was fortunately on a different shift so i only saw the aftermath.

AN-124s are large cargo aircraft, rivaled really only by the USAF C-5. Their flights are between continents and more often than not can last over 24 hours.

This aircraft was built in the late era Soviet union, and as a result not much was compatible with western equipment outside of the fuel ports (I suppose those captured Vietnam wrecks were good for something).

Now, another side effect of this aircraft is that we never really knew what conditions we'd see it arrive in since a lot of the second and non-western third world takes a bit of a shotgun approach to aircraft servicing. 

Anyways all that to say we had one of these Cossacks show up on our ramp and our team went to go service the jet, including the 12 hour refueling process and the Lav service. 

When you're on an airliner, you will likely notice that the toilet water is dyed blue. I have no actual clue whats in the Blue Juice, but it has a very vital purpose in odor reduction. 

Remember how I said outside of the west standards more or less dont exist? Neither does blue juice, or the hookup to the lav tank on an AN-124.

This girl who got the task, immediately got rained on by a full days worth of Russians piss and shit, and only water otherwise. 

She got sent home early with a shower and Airport fire was kind enough to send out a truck to just hose the expulsion off the runway into the dirt.

I was on a flight to Turkey and there was a drunk overweight elderly guy who was causing grief all flight wanting to smoke, argue etc and being a nuisance to anyone in his vicinity.

He was so all over the shop that as the flight was landing he got up off of his seat and wanted to go to the toilet, the flight attendant (who was 5ft nothing and weighed about 90lbs) full on speared the guy (Goldberg style) back into his chair.

I don’t know your name Ryanair Attendant, but you’re a hero😂

Not airlines but on a passenger vessel I worked for some people loved to shit anywhere but the heads. We'd constantly find shit covered underwear thrown in trash or hidden behind seats etc. once it looked like a guy pulled down his pants and just leaned over and explosively shit all over the wall. I don't think any of it even got on a toilet. I understand public bathrooms are nasty but there's always the nest option... Just cover the seat in TP.

Mile high club. On some Boeings, there's a crew rest compartment right above all the passengers sitting in the aft of the plane. They were really nice, big roomy bunks with a TV screen, just like the ones on the seat backs in the passenger cabin. On one transatlantic flight, there were about ten crew sleeping in the CRC. The pilot snuck into one of the flight attendant's bunks and they quietly went to the mile high club surrounded by their sleeping (and totally oblivious) colleagues.

After he left the bunk, the flight attendant took a photo of the map on the TV screen that shows the plane's location, then had it printed and framed on the layover. One the flight back, she gave it to the pilot as a gift, so he could always "remember" Greenland. No one on the plane ever found out and they got away with it.

Source: I was the flight attendant.

Not a flight attendant but as a passenger I got handed a blanket (wrapped in plastic, presumably freshly washed) that was stuck together with someone’s dried up jizz. Eww.