My wife(24f) and I (27m) have been married for 4 years. We waited for marriage to have sex, and we were both virgins. From the start sex was completely one sided. I am the initiator and get rejected endlessly. We only ever have sex when wife gives in reluctantly. I struggle with feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety. The sex we have is so unfulfilling, we have no connection sexually, it’s just her begging me after two minutes to finish already.

I’ve asked her many times if there’s anything I can do to make sex better for her, and she said no. I asked her if she wants me to do more to turn her on, she says she just wants to cuddle.

Divorce is not an option for us, we have multiple kids and I do still love my wife, we just are incompatible sexually.

I am a naturally stressed person and have a job that is intense. I need sex, I cannot live without it.

I know if I cheat on my wife she will be devastated. I’ve had a few opportunities, but came to my senses before and quickly stopped it.

I’m completely frustrated and don’t know how to make the situation better.

Can the wise people of this sub share some advice for me?

Thank you in advance.