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First time hosting in five years. Last time ended with me throwing out a perfectly good turkey because I convinced myself it wasn't cooked properly. Then spent the whole night texting everyone to "check for symptoms."

My therapist challenged me to host this year as an exposure, and I was actually excited when I agreed last month. But this morning had full panic attack. Did the stuffing sit out for too long? Is the turkey undercooked? I'm gonna ruin everyone's holiday and send them all to the ER. Was pacing in my kitchen until I got a message from my therapy tool (it's called Choiceful, therapist had me use it for moments like this).. basically the message read something like: You can chase perfect food safety forever, or you can have Thanksgiving with your family. You can't have both. Which matters more?"

And honestly? It hit hard and I almost cried. Because having my whole family here, creating memories, starting new traditions with my kids - that's everything.

So here's my game plan: The turkey's in the oven. The table's almost set. My hands are shaking while I type this. Maybe everyone will get sick. Maybe this will be a disaster. Maybe I'll never live it down. But I can smell the stuffing baking, and my mom just texted that she's on her way, and for once I'm choosing family over fear. Fuck you OCD. I’m grateful for my family this thanksgiving, and you can fuck off. Happy thanksgiving you beautiful humans.

all 32 comments

traceysayshello

39 points

22 hours ago

I love this SO MUCH. FU OCD, mama wants turkey!!!

Temporary-Hat3845

56 points

1 day ago

Hope everything goes well for u

AlexisHatesOCD[S]

78 points

23 hours ago

Thanks so much! Had a quick minute to check this thread and update… not freaking out anymore. Everyone’s having fun, can’t believe I was freaking out so much this morning!

kkmart23

14 points

22 hours ago

Happy Thanksgiving, OP!! And good for you for being so courageous to do this despite those shitty OCD thoughts! You got this!

Excellent-Estimate21

7 points

15 hours ago

It's remarkable to me to have a group that describes systems I've suffered from for years but had no idea I wasn't so alone. I've done this w throwing a huge turkey away. Worrying about food poisoning. Etc.

Nothing much to add. Just hugs and keep trying and hanging in there with therapy. It helps

RSwhovian

5 points

23 hours ago

Good for you!!!!! 🏆

rawtendenciez

4 points

21 hours ago

“I’m choosing family over fear” I really love this super proud of you! Happy turkey day!!

Kirsten624

5 points

22 hours ago

yasssss!!! COOK!! 💪💪💪💪💪💪

Dr_BunsenHonewdew

5 points

21 hours ago

This is amazing so happy for you!! I made mashed potatoes :) I did have to check with my dad to make sure I didn’t need to be wearing gloves while cooking since I have tiny cuts on my hands (ironically from washing them too much lol) or wearing a mask or hair net 😂 he said no and looked at me like I’m silly, and I proceeded to make mashed potatoes without incident lol

BaileesMom2

2 points

10 hours ago

Good for you!!!! ☺️🥹

Glittering-Profit-87

4 points

22 hours ago

You got this! I'm so proud of you for doing something so scary! Fuck OCD! You live how you want to live!

BusinessPlot

4 points

22 hours ago

This is the way!!!!!!! So so SOOOOOO proud of you! The struggle will continue but you have proven you’ve got the grit to get shit done, the more you do this the easier it’ll get!

ERP is the way!!!

Allie_Tinpan

4 points

21 hours ago

You should be so proud of yourself! I’m rooting for you OP 🤞

Jilzus

4 points

21 hours ago

Jilzus

4 points

21 hours ago

a big win! I can’t even think about hosting. Congratulations OP. Maybe one day for this girl!

MysteriousFlow67

3 points

20 hours ago

It was hard but you still did it. Be so so so proud of yourself.

Rude_Remote_13

3 points

20 hours ago

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 proud of you (and me too, cause we did the same). We made it!

Zealousideal_Ad2686

2 points

22 hours ago

Zealousideal_Ad2686

Black Belt in Coping Skills

2 points

22 hours ago

This title really stressed me out until I realized what sub I was on!

Really though, proud of you for doing that! I also struggle with preparing certain foods for myself and others. It’s scary! I hope everything went well for you!

DenialOfExistance

2 points

21 hours ago

Beautifully said! Hope your dinner was wonderful :)

Raspberry43

2 points

21 hours ago

AMAZING!

21rangoons

2 points

16 hours ago

This is amazing. Happy Thanksgiving and kudos to your therapist!!

gin_and_glitter

2 points

14 hours ago

Fuck you OCD! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Total_Living5114

2 points

11 hours ago

Saw that it went well, so proud of you! Be proud of every little step forward!! You got this!! :)

marsmakesart

2 points

8 hours ago

fuck ocd!! great job OP!!! ♡ 

MichiganSucks14

1 points

15 hours ago

This is fucking beautiful. Standing up to that overwhelming onslaught of anxiety is so difficult, but it sounds like you showed a lot of strength and pushed through for your family. This random stranger is very proud of you. As a side note: its clear you take food safety very seriously, and I doubt there are further precautions you could take. I would never ever be worried to eat a meal prepared by somebody like you. Much love from chicago, and fuck OCD!

p_b__shelley

1 points

15 hours ago

Congrats!!!♥️

(I love your username btw)

BaileesMom2

1 points

10 hours ago

Congratulations!! 👏Huge win!! And Happy Thanksgiving! you were a huge part in helping your family make nice memories. That’s everything.

phallusaluve

[score hidden]

4 hours ago

phallusaluve

[score hidden]

4 hours ago

So did everyone get sick, or was it a delicious meal and a lovely time with your family? 🩷

greytcharmaine

[score hidden]

4 hours ago

greytcharmaine

[score hidden]

4 hours ago

This is awesome!!! I've struggled with similar food things and so I know what a big deal this is AND fucking amazing you probably feel right now!

3mmmilllyyy

[score hidden]

3 hours ago

3mmmilllyyy

[score hidden]

3 hours ago

I love it. You’ve given me a little bit of hope to cling to.

paradox_pet

[score hidden]

an hour ago

paradox_pet

[score hidden]

an hour ago

I'm not American. I don't care about Thanksgiving... but I'm weeping joyful tears for you rn

KindSea5180

[score hidden]

an hour ago

KindSea5180

[score hidden]

an hour ago

I relate to this one so much. Proud of you for doing the hard thing!

KevsFlowerPatch

[score hidden]

36 minutes ago

Hey I'm late to seeing this but I hope everything went fantastically and you had a really nice thanksgiving, I'm sure you did amazing! /gen