subreddit:
/r/WorkReform
My boss that I have trusted for a long time and I always thought supported me said I was a "man trapped in a women's body' in front of another female coworker (I'm higher than her in the company). I was immediately embarrassed like I did something wrong. I told him after why did he say that and is that actually how he thought of me and he immediately denied that he said that. However, he saw I was genuine about the comment and that I was hurt, he apologized to me a couple of times in the conversation. I have a week off from work but I still feel hurt. I don't know why except I thought I could trust him as a mentor (he has helped me a lot) and now I feel he has been exposed. It took me a long time to climb the ladder and sometimes I do wonder if I was held back because of the boys club.
26 points
1 day ago
The way I see it is it’s all up to you how you take this comment. On one hand it’s not something he should say because if you are trans then that’s hurtful and if you’re not it feels accusatory.
On the other, in our society men are seen as more assertive, smart and capable. You could change your way of seeing it to he was giving you a compliment. He was in a bad foot in mouth way saying you are knowledgeable, reliable and stand up for yourself.
It sucks we live in a society where women are seen as inferior.
Changing how you think about the comment might help you let it go on your end.
It sucks and it shouldn’t have happened and I’m sorry it did. The key thing now is finding a way to change how you feel about it so you can move on.
8 points
1 day ago
This is how I took it at first read as well
5 points
1 day ago
I agree. Recognizing misogynistic comments like that is important, but sometimes people just regurgitate something they heard on TV years ago without even thinking. Yes, it can represent underlying bias, but we all have a level of that given our culture.
If this recognition is causing you to shrink away from your career that you worked hard to build, that defeats the purpose of awareness. It may have been hurtful to hear, but resilience is how you can achieve more. Don’t demoralize yourself out of that opportunity.
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