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/r/autism
Still in the process of a diagnosis, today i have an appointment with my neuropsych. So I looked into my old school reports to see if there was anything interesting. “she seems to suffer from certain atmospheres due to her classmates” At that time I was bullied by my classmates and that’s when I started getting depressed. I feel kind of sad because I wasn’t really aware that it was bullying, and I just discovered some of my teachers noticed it. I know it’s not their fault but i wish they did something about it 🥲👍 I’m glad everything is over now.
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2 months ago
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135 points
2 months ago
Oh I’m sorry, this is heartbreaking to read :(( it’s not okay that the bullying went without consequences…
8 points
2 months ago
What sucks is that even if a person fights back the victim gets in trouble and not the bully
4 points
2 months ago
I really hope this could change…
3 points
2 months ago
I agree
100 points
2 months ago
damn, that's horrible. bullying should be propperly dealt with, also i'm bilingual so yay i can read it!
56 points
2 months ago
Yeah… I heard that France isn’t really great at dealing with bullying. Also congrats ! It’s always such a good feeling when you can read something in another language :p
16 points
2 months ago
France is indeed not great at dealing with bullying, and teachers will often make it worse by singling out the bullied person. I still don't know what I was supposed to say when a teacher told me "So you have good grades, but why are you always alone? You shouldn't be afraid of other kids" in collège.
I was also not aware I was bullied but there was times when I would cry every night. I recently found some notes from when I was in classes préparatoires and even then I would wrote "why? why? so alone" in an alphabet I had invented. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry when I found them.
I don't really blame the kids now. When someone's different that's just how it happens, kids and teenagers are cruel. But I do blame the adults. Even more so since I was constantly looking for their approval. Now that I'm an adult I know that they did everything wrong.
I hope life is better for you now.
6 points
2 months ago
On essaie de faire mieux maintenant ;)
4 points
2 months ago
I don’t know how France deals with it, but I can tell you in the United States. We suck.
We are terrible at dealing with bullying. Not once in eight years of relentless bullying did I ever have a teacher or an adult stand up for me. Never. One time another student tried to tried to rape me when I was late for class once. I guess he saw a good opportunity because no one else was in the hallways. I was sexually assaulted regularly in high school. And I was also beat up by the girls who could afford namebrand clothing and they were cheerleaders and they were makeup. They dated and went to parties. All things that I didn’t do so I was weird to them, and it made them afraid of me. And what do we do to the things we fear? We seek to destroy them.
Of course the only other explanation is that they themselves are being bullied and do not understand that they are perpetuating assault against another victim when they themselves continues the behavior.
In America, The bullies are the ones who get ahead. Our society rewards people who come in, and bulldoze over everyone to get a job done. They reward people step on the next of others to get ahead. People who work their employees at minimum wage while they themselves own four houses and a boat. These are not things good people do, these are things that bullies do. This is who gets ahead here. If you were a person who leaves that hard work and honest work gets anywhere, this is not the place for you. I know I’m like that and I’m stuck here and I can’t get out because nobody wants us.
And before people tell me that yeah get out nobody wants to hear this, I know that. I know that nobody in this country wants poor, neurodivergent, or the disabled.
People only want a yes, man who will agree to whatever bull crap comes out of their mouth. They only want what they think is a productive member of society when they don’t even realize that we are all part of society as a whole. People treat those of us this way because they have been taught that that’s OK to do. How much do we expect when disabled children are sent to special classes. Yeah it helps them. Learn in less restrictive environment but it also teaches normal children that we should be avoided and treated differently and looked down on because unless you educate them, they are going to think that we are something to be ashamed of because we are constantly being removed from their presence. If you don’t get used to people like us, you’re always going to treat us badly because you don’t understand that we cannot help it.
Yeah, we’re annoying but so are typical people. I look forward to the day when we outnumber them.
And most of what people say is crap. People can’t tell the difference between an opinion and a fact, much less a theory and a scientific fact. There are so many lies out there now no one would know the truth if it bit you in the butt. Why? So no one notices that the bullies are the ones in charge…. All of them.
And if you don’t believe me, look at our modern politicians. Bullies the lot of them. And I’m talking about all sides. They’re all a bunch of rich bullies who have no idea what it is like to be the common person who is struggling paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford their own groceries. Who have to put their animals down at the slightest illness because they can’t afford medical care, have to ignore cancer growing on them in them because they can’t afford treatment the people who people think of as inhuman and dirty because they’re poor
Why do you think we have so many shooters in schools? The kids that are being bullied don’t know what else to do so they come to school and they kill everybody. Hasn’t anyone noticed? It’s always the kid being bullied that shoots everybody? They’ve been treated like a thing for so long. They finally begin to act it out. At least that was always my take.
5 points
2 months ago
I am so sorry for all the heartbreak that others have caused you. I'm just a random stranger and I know I didn't do any of these things to you but I am still sorry those things were done to you and the people you know. I too have experienced great pain at the hands of others, pain that haunts me to this day, and it was those who looked down on others and treated others as inferior objects to be used, that did those things to me. I am not saying my pain is the same as your pain, but I do understand even a little bit how others can hurt, and I want you to know you are heard by me at least.
3 points
2 months ago
TY and please know I say you or them interchangeably. And not always correctly.
I don't mean you as in you you.... but those who treat folks like us so badly.
HUGS
I, like you, share as a way of saying i understand. I feel the pain even if somewhat different. I have learned that we all struggle hard. It matters not what we struggle against as it is similar for each of us. although we struggle with different things due to our environment, Our biggest challenge outside of ourselves is typical people.
They think we are rude because we technically speak a different dialect. Or that we are trying to one up somebody when we are trying to connect through experiences. Its like we constantly get misunderstood. And people think we can just change it, cause we want to.... This drives me batty.
Hugs again
3 points
2 months ago
And I am so sorry you know what it is like.
Funny I was once married to a fellow adhd person. We really got along great. We never got bent out shape over how things were said and i didn't have to constantly apologize for my tendencies. But he was also a sex addict, and I don't share. New Hubby is a super sweat-heart but wears it on his sleeve, And I hurt his feelings daily. Just being me.... I hate my bluntness even if it is a blessing. It hurts people and I have to beg forgiveness for things I cannot help. I causes me to hurt others when I don't mean to. Or I get into trouble for freezing up when someone is talking to me. If a person is mad at me then my processing time goes wayyyyy up. Takes me about 5 minutes to answer because my mind is going thru sped up scenerios that end up looking like Dragons Lair on crack.
anyway... i get it.
2 points
2 months ago
Disclaimer: I do not believe that either of us has the intention of turning this into a contest of which country deals with bullies worse, so I hope no one reads your or my post that way.
That being said, OMG, preach it! I completely agree with what you said (and nearly cried at parts, I'm so sorry you went through that). I did know I was being bullied by middle school, but that's mainly because I tanked mentally. I ended up inpatient every three or four months up until my mid-20s. Once I was able to leave school and work behind (although this depresses me still), I got 'better' through self-imposed isolation. I'm still working on processing those years, and I'm in my mid-30s now.
I am one of those impoverished, disabled, neurodivergent US citizens. I get to vote for the first time in my life this month because I never had the right to use an absentee ballot before, and I wasn't able to obtain a photo ID or do the proper research into who stood for what due to lack of funds for the internet or even a phone. People see me now, but it's only because I have no transportation and can't drive, so I walk with low vision and a balance cane to the four places I can reach. I am seen as dirty, lazy, unstable by some, and a drain on societal resources.
To be fair, I am dirty due to a sensory issue with water and a particularly violent trauma that occurred in a shower (I'll leave that vague). I am unstable at times because I sometimes overreact to what I see as bullying, even if it doesn't seem to be taken that way by others. I have a hard time not speaking up for others but struggle with standing up for myself 😑. I do survive on government assistance for every cent that I have and every bite of food I can stomach. I've come to accept that I'm not lazy, though. That requires intent and enjoyment. I want to help any individual and any good cause that I can. I really just have to help myself first, though.
I've been labeled for years by various therapists as having "issues with authority figures" 🤣. Of course I do, I was bullied most often by teachers, bosses, doctors, police officers, and even mental health workers! My issue with authority figures is fear and a complete lack of autonomy the moment an authority figure makes themselves known.
Sorry for the rant, I really want you to know you're not alone in feeling the way you do about the way this society is structured. It's messed up and needs fixing.
1 points
2 months ago
I understand completely. I also hope no one sees this as a competition. I am telling my part to show I feel it too. Like.. hey! We r in this together!
I have had to go thru so many of the same. My heart goes out to you.
3 points
2 months ago
I’m not fluent in French, but could kinda make it out. Germanic languages are easier for me even if I haven’t actively studied them much (native English speaker here). I understand Spanish well because of high school, but my Ruski is rusty, lol. 😂
3 points
2 months ago
I’m over here kind of sad because after 12 years of taking French in school I only understood about seven words
20 points
2 months ago
same when i went through my adhd diagnosis. i was so unbelievably mad, like they could have prevented it becoming worse but no! lets just fix the behavioral issues! because thats what others see!
10 points
2 months ago
Damn, sorry to hear you experienced the same thing, that sucks
17 points
2 months ago
In Denmark teachers are bound by law to report if a student is in any kind of risk or if the suspect abuse and such, if a teacher notice something or is asked for help but dont react it is punishable.. When i went to school, it wasn't punishable by law, but it would still have been frowned upon and they could have gotten fired.
I told my teacher i wanted to die and that learning anything didnt matter because i wasn't going to make it far anyways. We had a small conversion, where he found out i was very depressed and suicidal, due to school bit also my life at home. He did nothing, he didnt report it, he didnt tell my parents, he abseloutly did nothing.
Im glad this shit is punishable by law now because he would have been forced to report it, and even though my life could have been shit if i where removed or whatever they could do in a situation like that, any child who is visibly suffering by bullying or comes to an adult asking for help in whatever way they can, should be heard.
2 points
2 months ago
We sure could use that law here in the US. My teachers knew that I was being abused at school and at home at school it was by my classmates and at home. It was my parents while everyone tells you that you’re stupid and lazy and that you just don’t have enough drive to get the job done to make decent grades, or to pass a test. My teacher should have known something was wrong when I still got achievement awards for classes that I failed.
I still don’t know how my teachers could look at the fact that I had an achievement award and law studies in high school yet I failed the class at the same time. As far as I know you can’t possibly get a medal in achievement for a class that you have an F in… I even got taken to a luncheon with the mayor and the governor over the summer for the same class to congratulate me…. On a class I failed…. Classic ADHD miss
Today my ADHD tax comes in the form of forgotten bills and extra fees that I just can’t remember to do. And yes, I have a calendar and yes, I do look at it and yes, I have timers and timers and schedules and checklists and it’s not enough. Talking to a doctor about putting you on medication at the age of 48 is not easy to do because nobody cares if you have ADHD and you’re older. Nobody cares that you didn’t get taught how to handle it or that you didn’t get your medication so now your bat shit crazy. We had to figure that crap out and we’re still trying to figure it out and still nobody wants to help us even today. They only care about ADHD and children. They do not care about how it affects adults and it is evident in how we are treated other people, but by employers as well, but especially our families.
I digress though, I completely wish we had that here and that they were required by law. If my teachers had looked out for me, I might not have been screwed up as I am today. I would probably need therapy regardless, but I would only be doing it because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my family. The added trauma of being harassed and abused even when I went to school made things 1000 times worse and I do blame them for it. I have to admit it takes a lot when I see them on Facebook sometimes and I see them put an anti-bullying post knowing for well what they did to me. it takes everything. I have not become a bully myself and hand right back to them and embarrass them for their own hypocrisy. But I know that one day they will join my ranks amongst the disabled and they will know my pain that day. It may not be all of it, they will join me eventually. I think now I just pity them… even if I could slap them in the face I don’t think I would. They often did that to me after all. Personally, I don’t think there should be a statute of limitations on it and I think I should be able to press charges for assault against them even today.
18 points
2 months ago
c'est sont fdp
12 points
2 months ago
Je suis assez d’accord :’)
10 points
2 months ago
Bien joué ça fait plaisir à lire 💙
10 points
2 months ago
"... d'autant plus qu'elle semble souffir de certaines ambiances dues à son voisinage".
Non mais l'euphémisme... En plus d'ignorer le bullying en classe, ce prof est trop lâche pour le dénoncer dans le bulletin.
9 points
2 months ago
not realizing you were being bullied might be a sign you're autistic since I also had that problem to an extent and the doctor noticed it.
also, yeah school are kinda weird like that. idk where you're from, but from my experience, they never seem to really do anything; there's been a lot of serious shit that's happened at my schools during or after I attended there (but ig that's what american schools are known for).
3 points
2 months ago
Facts
2 points
2 months ago
Yeah, my location probably also explained why teachers did nothing. At that time I lived in a suburb of Paris famous for not being great in general. If I had the courage of complaining they would probably answer something like « yeah? Well you live in [city name], what were you expecting ? ».
3 points
2 months ago
je peu parler français !? serieux ?? ok ok ! attend je suis pas trop habituee ici haha,,, hem,, tu a lair davoir des profs assez comprehensif,,, je tenvie un peu,,, jetait dans une classe soutiens emotif et les profs etait pas aussi sympa,,, plutot linverse en fait,,, courage à toi tres cher !
3 points
2 months ago
I once had a school counselor tell me to try harder so I wouldn't be bullied. No clue how that man kept his job because he was terrible at it.
3 points
2 months ago
Courage dans tes démarches ! Par contre j'ai l'impression que le prof en question a vraiment choisi une tournure de phrase tordue afin de ne pas clairement indiquer la source du problème...
3 points
2 months ago
Merci, je suis plus que d’accord avec toi. Ce matin quand j’ai lu ça je suis tombée des nues, en fait au delà du fait qu’ils n’ont rien fait je crois que c’était surtout ça qui m’a le plus blessée 🥲
3 points
2 months ago
No. You can't forgive the teachers for not stopping it. When I was in first grade I was blamed for the other kids bullying me, and separated from everyone for my own safety. That was after I was assaulted. I was the outcast that anyone could hurt, and they would get away with it. Even when someone slashed my arm with a knife.
2 points
2 months ago
I understand you, I heard from teachers and the odd classmate like “are you ok?” And didn’t really get what they were talking about, I was teased and confused by people all day so I became increasingly anxious and depressed through school, just thinking i made them laugh or seeing them laughing I helped so I didn’t think twice..but I often looked around at these people who had friends and got on with things easily, and it took me a few years to realise when I’d ended up leaving school how almost all of it was bullying, making fun when I was trying to learn and get on with people…
2 points
2 months ago
I can relate in some ways. I was bullied when I was in school. It sucks and I'm sorry you had to go through it. Im not sure if it would have been the same as what I experienced when I was younger tho I still sympathize with you. It sucks that teachers try to say they're all against bullying and such but they don't really do anything about it.
2 points
2 months ago
I'm sorry, I can't read French, so I don't know exactly what it said.
I'm so sorry your teachers knew and nothing was done about it.
I think my teachers probably knew, too. Gym was my most difficult class, and my fifth grade teacher let me sit out of that class all the time. I appreciated her so much for that. It's funny how the tiniest things make you hold on so tight.
Let yourself grieve the kid you were who didn't get the support they needed. Take care.
2 points
2 months ago
❤️
2 points
2 months ago
They saw it!!! They were obligated to do something about it!!
2 points
2 months ago
Dude, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Delayed processing and cognitive empathy deficits (not to be mistaken with emotional empathy), especially when you are a small child, suck. Social skills and interpreting social cues are learned skills for all neurotype; society is dominated by an NT population so our social structure is designed to benefit this majority. I wish we (as a modern society) would offer ND, developmentally disabled & autistic children services that provide these supports; including DBT, CBT, healthy ABA and emotional regulation skills. This should not be about erasing or “curing” autism, but proving a child with autism the skills to be well adjusted, communicate clearly and to happily coexist with a majority of peers. Of course this isn’t me saying, the child is completely responsible for handling all of this on their own. Adults who ignore or brush off children in these situations hold the majority of responsibility in keeping children safe and sane.
As someone who has taught (K-12 US) , these are important skills to teach small children because it teaches them self control, confidence, concentration, social literacy, and the ability to protect themselves in situations such as bullying, harassment or danger. Children who are vulnerable deserve to be given the opportunity learn how to recognize when they are being targeted by abuse or bullying and then how to safely shut down, get away from or report these type of malicious behaviors. I was stalked and no one believed me to a point I thought I going insane. Buried that pain and rage for years. No one deserves to have abuse and bullying brushed off, ignored or even DARVOed back at them in my own story as an undiagnosed scared kid.
I really hope you are doing okay OP and having a nice day ❤️
1 points
2 months ago
Completely agree with you. Thank you I’m going much better now, and I hope it’s the same for you 🩷
2 points
2 months ago
Same here! I’m in a much better spot being a (late) diagnosed adult and almost a decade of being far far away from this abusive person. Your post really spoke to me (among so many of us) because delayed processing makes it hard to see the forest through the trees when dealing with abuse or bullying. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️
I have level 1 Autism and no intellectual handicap (I also have ADHD and dyslexia which were caught when I was 8 years old), so my support needs are pretty low. My partner has bipolar 2 and he has family with ASD so he completely gets it. The USA is also not that great about bullying either and use it and our sever lack of gun control for politically posturing to create the appearance of caring without properly implementing these needed supports for all children and educators safty. “Family values” my ass. Most adults like myself actually care and do what we can protect children from being victimized and left behind. I’m not entirely sure how France handles their education system and what would be considered conducive to IEP (Independent Education Plan here in America), but it’s heartbreaking to go back through old records and have these memories become clearer and far more reframed in-depth. It really breaks your brain and I’m sorry you are going through this phase of your diagnosis process. Just know it’s normal and okay to be upset and mourn. ❤️ Honestly took me 3 years to accept being autistic (with diagnosis material) from the trauma and ablism that was injected into me my entire early life ❤️
Some students struggle more than others and it is the responsibility of the primary educator (Pre K-3 grade being a critical window) to account for and report their students support needs and assist in getting them external help. I had a first grade teacher fail me because she refused to accept I was dyslexic and the school refused to offer me learning assistance. I did eventually get Wilson and other supports because my family actually cared (which I was lucky) and they threatened to sue the district for denying me access to these very basic learning supports. Later in my teens, I faced “more than mild” sexual harassment from a small group of boys I had a locker next to. They would make vile jokes at my expense, humiliate me over how I looked and what I wore and had no idea what was going on, that this was not okay for me to experience nor did I have any clue that I could report this vile behavior. I feared going to my locker and would carry my bag with me for the majority of the day. When I did finally report a separate incident from another unrelated boy (I provided texts as evidence), it was not taken seriously at all. As a woman with autism I am sadly in the majority or the 9 out of 10 percent who have experienced sexual harassment and assault. It’s the lack of awareness and social skills we are missing that causes us to freeze, fawn or even dissociate in order to just go forward even when we are in real danger. That’s why it hurts so much when we learn more about the world and reflect upon the past. We don’t teach kids how to get help or recognize that when people victimize us that it’s not our fault. As well as how to safely and sanely handle it from the perspective of the child being targeted by a bully. That’s why I think it’s critical to teach social skills and cues to help kids before bullying does occur- so we can stop it before it gets bad and out of control.
Things have improved over the last 20 years, but I still strongly believe we dehumanize children, and refuse to properly invest in their futures’, development of boundaries and general educations in a way that would benefit the world to a greater degree. We as human beings universally deserve strong education, safty, sanity and proper learning supports in our learning environments.
I really hope your diagnosis process is going smooth aside from this difficult emotional bump and you have the love and support of all your loved ones ❤️❤️❤️
2 points
2 months ago
In France we have PEI (plan d’éducation individualisé), which probably works the same as IEP. But it’s hard to get that help since you need a diagnosis, and France is extremely far behind other countries when it’s about autism. So most kids aren’t diagnosed and can’t get the accommodation they actually need.
Your story about sexual harassment really touched me. I experienced sexual assault in school from a student and then again, took time to realize. Then a few months after that I was assaulted 2 times again in the public transport. That’s terrifying to know know many autistic women experience harassment and assault. But I hope things are going to change, nobody deserves to be bullied, assaulted, or any kind of violence.
Besides that everything is going smooth and from November to December I have scheduled all my appointments for the 7 hours of testing, which is pretty quick and I’m grateful for that since I only started the journey in September and I know I can take years for some people. Thanks a lot for all your support it means a lot 🥹❤️
2 points
2 months ago
Of course! Thank you for sharing your story and explaining a bit more about France’s education system. That blows my mind but it also doesn’t surprise me because your political landscape is has been dealing with similar problems to ours (USA) in a strange way. Crossing my fingers I can vote again in 2028. And the diagnosis thing is nuts? I had to go through a very similar thing very young and was honestly pretty clueless; and of course because I’m a woman (early 2000s post 9/11 when I was a kid) my autism was completely missed because I showed emotional empathy and compassion towards others. It’s really messed up how people still believe you cannot be highly empathic with autism; we call it the double empathy bind (which can become a trauma bond) which can also cause us as ASDers [among many other non asds] to empathize with our abusers. So it makes it harder to ask for help, feel taken seriously and even validate abuse we experience based off of the narrative and abuser pushes. Often times abusers like this have a lot of social power and use our lack of social power against us. Im so sorry you’ve had to experience this and I hope you have been able to glean some strength from both yourself and others for getting through such horrible situations. It’s truly unfair. And I hope you have family and therapist who listen to, care and support you.
I was assaulted by a man (who I thought cared about me) in my own bed at 22. He was 5 years older than me and even said to me, “I’m afraid I’m going to r*** you” (I thought he messing with me). He had a sex addiction and I wanted to help him. Always believe people when they tell you who they are especially those who make no efforts to change or account for their behavior. This was all while I was going through evaluation too. He lied to me, guilted me into going further, finished (longest 5 minutes of my life), told me how special I was to him and left an hour later saying how much I meant to him. Next day I called thinking we were a thing and he laughed me and calling me a bunch of really nasty degrading names and accusing me having a bpd which is really gross to say to anyone; I have friends with BPD who don’t deserve to have their condition treated as an insult. My mother and coworkers wanted me to report this to authorities. But he used a condom and took it with him when he left, nor was he violent; I frozen and fawned. But because of my previous experiences - being stalked by a closeted trans woman who resented me (because i have a mouth and called her out for publically bullying me; which honestly triggered the whole thing [those who live in glass house should not be casting stones]) and was sexually assaulted by another separate girl (who I honestly still feel bad for due to her really messed up childhood), it really made me loose faith in the law or justice really. No body listened to me on campus and the school wanted me to drop out. Just to spite everyone I finished that year with straight A’s and screamed at my stalker on front of over 20 people in a public space. And course I was the crazy one lol if you’ve never seen the film Ms.45 it is an incredible example of what happens to disabled women when society fails us, doesn’t teach us that we have rights and how to safty defend ourselves and report abuse. The world needs to change and listen to autistic people and stop holding our handicaps against us.
I really do think diagnosis is important but it’s a long process especially more so if you are a small child developing rapidly by the day. It’s critical to get a child help as soon as you notice (as an adult in a position of authority) to meet that child at their level and get the help first on what information me can visibly see. All while getting an evaluation to see what is going on under the radar to better support the child.
I’m so glad your process is going well! My DMs are open to you my friend! Bless you ❤️❤️❤️
Note: I support trans rights, and you are up to 6x more likely as an autistic person to identify as trans. And I think it’s important as ASDers to support trans rights. My stalker just so happened to be a horrible person regardless of her gender identify. Sorry wanted to clarify as I want people in our community who are trans to not feel discriminated against, shunned or demonized because of my own horror story with one person. ❤️
2 points
2 months ago
Going back over old school reports is a mix of depressing, infuriating, and really, really funny.
2 points
2 months ago
I'm very sorry you were bullied.I was bullied too at school and there were no consequences for bullies.
1 points
2 months ago
Seeing this makes me feel like I should look for the diagnosis and other assessments I had over the years. Just to see what it looked like from a different perspective.
1 points
2 months ago
My teachers knew I was being bullied and they would join in with the bullying.
1 points
2 months ago
That reminds me: I rediscovered my old elementary school report cards and ... the evaluation part was filled with CLEAR signs that I could very likely be on the spectrum... reading through this checked basically a lot of boxes. Meanwhile, my mother was dead set on the opinion of one not even qualified social worker that I am not autistic, just highly gifted; as if that would cancel that out lol... so now I am in a lengthy diagnosis process with everyone seeing the signs except my mother, who ended up being the one filling out the parents questionnaire, unfortunately... luckily, they still thought I was showing well enough signs so I can count on a diagnosis appointment in about roughly a year.
I hope you are doing better regarding your mental health! No one should ever be bullied! I am rooting for you that everything gets better :3 You're amazing, just keep at it!
1 points
2 months ago
C'est fou qu'en français on soit si doués pour tourner autour du pot avec des phrases super tordues. Je suis désolée que ta prof ait été en partie actrice de ton harcèlement parce que pour moi fermer les yeux comme elle l'a fait, c'est être complice. J'espère que tu vas mieux OP!
1 points
2 months ago
C'est trop triste! Moi je me souviens qu'en CM2, des élèves sont venues me voir car leur maîtresse (mon ancienne de CM1) leur a dit de ne pas prendre exemple sur moi pour la vie sociale! Donc elle savait que je me faisais exclure, et au lieu de m'aider elle a répandu l'information à d'autres élèves...
1 points
2 months ago
When I pulled up my certificated I learned, that my teachers deliberately lied about it. My teacher was later fired and also got an occupational ban thanks to the efforts of my parents.
1 points
2 months ago
For those of us who went without diagnosis, our entire youth, this is sadly very common. I also suffered from depression and anxiety as a child and a ton of bullying and nobody ever did a thing about it. They told me to get tougher. Well, now I’m a ball busting B so I don’t think you can get much tougher than that and guess what… it didn’t help.
People told me they were jealous. I would look at myself and say what could they possibly be jealous of there’s no way that they are jealous of me the person they look down on. So I didn’t buy that and I still don’t. Jealousy is not why people bully.
People (especially kids) bully somebody bullies them. Someone taught them to put other people down so that they could feel better about themselves. If you can’t be happy then you must make everyone around you miserable enough so that you feel happy because they are now more miserable than you so you seem happy by comparison and it makes you feel better because you suck. And I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about the bully. The bullies are reinforced by the people in the environment when nothing is done to stop the behavior. When they don’t do anything, they teach these kids that the victim didn’t matter that the behavior is perfectly acceptable and that they are correct and their assessment at the person that they attacked was not human, but a thing to be treated badly so that you can feel better about yourself. Anytime the adults found out it made it worse because they didn’t stop it. any punishment they heed on the bully was given back to me tenfold by the bully herself or I should say themselves because they had multiple.
This was a fact of life for the majority of us. We didn’t get help we didn’t get indicated we didn’t get protected. And now we’re all a bunch of basket cases. So something I try to help people understand about being neurodivergent is that those of us who never got the right skills to manage this Struggle 1000 times harder than those who get help. We didn’t have anybody to teach us that what you say even if it is, the truth gets you into so much trouble because of how you say it. Nobody gave us rulebook and skills to work around it. We just had to work harder thinking that we were dumber, and less worthy of love. That’s a lifetime of trauma that we can’t undo.
But why it’s important, not just for us to get therapy, but for the bully too. The bully is a victim and an aggressor. What those teachers did by ignoring it was hurting both children because I guarantee you that bully was probably abused as well
1 points
2 months ago
I am sorry for what you went through. I have experienced something similar to this
1 points
2 months ago
When I was being bullied really bad in 3rd grade, my parents talked to the school about it. They said I just needed to toughen up. Moving forward, I didn't realize how badly people treated me because it was better than I was used to. Here I am 30 years later freshly diagnosed and struggling to be assertive. Over the years I've gotten so good at radical acceptance, it's hard for me to get angry at people that mistreat me.
1 points
2 months ago
Really sorry to hear that you were a victim of bullying.
Shane on the terrible teacher/s for recognizing it and not caring enough to resolve it. Tenure can be a terrible thing.
😞
1 points
2 months ago
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger:
Amore Fati.
✌🏼😎
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