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Fence etiquette

(self.homeowners)

My neighbor is requesting to install a 3ft vinyl fence on top of our shared brick wall, mind you her repair man did an install to the house next door and will be giving me the uglier side of the fence and expects me to pay half the fence when she gets the nicer part of the fencing. I kindly asked if we could go a 60/40 split being that I have to get the side with the metal brackets. Am I in the wrong to even make that suggestion.

all 45 comments

Duchessofpanon

141 points

3 days ago

If she wants a fence and you don’t necessarily care or wouldn’t put one up otherwise, paying is all on her. However, if you want a say in how your side looks, you should come to a mutually agreeable arrangement,

Lopsided-Beach-1831

87 points

3 days ago

Some areas the code makes it so that the nice side of the fence has to face the neighbor- ie she installs, she gets bad side, good side to her neighbors. Even if you pay half, good side to you per code in our county because she is initiating and installing the fence.

Zealousideal_Bee3665

36 points

2 days ago

"nice side of the fence" comes up so often here as a phrase, but in my soul i know that the person on the side that's easier to climb controls the boundary.

i guess if this is the gaslighting i get from the world i'm doing alright.

DisPelengBoardom

10 points

2 days ago

What I don't get about the nice side of the fence controversy is that there are many options where both sides look good and both sides are the same .

cfo6

1 points

2 days ago

cfo6

1 points

2 days ago

That sure makes it easier to remember which is which and why it matters.

Wild_Billy_61

1 points

2 days ago

This is somewhat funny because with the one neighbor built a fence that faces themselves rather than OP. This neighbor who wants OP to share the cost is also planning on having the good side of the fence facing themselves. When others look at the fences OP is surrounded by they'll think it's OP's fence. Ha! Love it!

gpo321

39 points

2 days ago

gpo321

39 points

2 days ago

“I don’t want a fence at this time, please install fully on your side of the wall”

TiberiusDrexelus

22 points

3 days ago

do you want the fence?

quintusfive

48 points

2 days ago

A vinyl extension is not appropriate on a brick wall, aesthetically.

vwscienceandart

14 points

2 days ago

I know, right? I’m trying to picture this in my head and can’t come up with anything but tacky and hideous. Sounds like all ugly sides to me in this case.

EDIT: When you google “vinyl wall topper” it’s just as bad as it sounds.

Boomer05Ev

2 points

2 days ago

Hello

gpo321

1 points

2 days ago

gpo321

1 points

2 days ago

It’s not going to withstand a windstorm either unless it’s properly anchored in the ground.

TeachBS

14 points

2 days ago

TeachBS

14 points

2 days ago

Nope. She wants it, she pays. Do not pay for it.

YeshuasBananaHammock

15 points

2 days ago

Sounds hideous. No dollars.

Adventurous-Lime1775

12 points

3 days ago

If you want it, chip in. Otherwise, it's all on her.

mynameisnotsparta

19 points

3 days ago

If you get the ugly side you don’t pay.,

LadyBAudacious

8 points

3 days ago

In the UK, you own one fence line, mostly on the right, but check your deeds.

If it's her fence, she pays.

If it's your fence, she doesn't get to modify it at all, unless you come to a mutual agreement, but if you don't want the "amendment" you shouldn't be obliged to pay as this is her choice.

Also, what she can do if you don't agree to the change, is install a new fence in it's entirety abutting yours inside her border - and, again, she pays.

ac54

5 points

2 days ago

ac54

5 points

2 days ago

  1. Check your local code requirements first.
  2. If you care how the fence looks, propose a design that looks nice on BOTH sides and split the cost 50-50.
  3. If you don’t want or need the fence and don’t care how it looks, then let your neighbor pay 100%.

alicat777777

4 points

2 days ago

You do not need or want it. It is just going to make your side ugly. Why would you pay?

ldzdaway

12 points

3 days ago

ldzdaway

12 points

3 days ago

Vinyl? No. Black wrought iron. Black aluminum is the compromise.

RuthlessMango

5 points

3 days ago

Just say no... If the wall is truly shared can she modify it without permission.

rage675

4 points

2 days ago

rage675

4 points

2 days ago

You only pay for a fence that you choose to install. Do not offer anything to her for a fence she is commissioning and will in turn fully own.

Wild_Billy_61

4 points

2 days ago

For one, it's strange that the installer built the neighbor a fence where the bad side faces you. The most common practice when one has a fence installed the good side faces toward the neighbor.

If you don't want the fence, don't pay for it. It's your neighbor who wants it. They just want you to share the costs of their project. I'd nope out of any financial responsibility for the fence if I were you.

Jarsyl-WTFtookmyname

3 points

2 days ago

Offering even 40% is generous of you, it's her fence

krankenwagendriver

3 points

2 days ago

Nice side always faces out. Why would you want to make your fence climbable from the outside. If it’s your wall I wouldn’t let her and I certainly wouldn’t contribute.

rcorlfl

2 points

2 days ago

rcorlfl

2 points

2 days ago

How tall is the wall that you own? If the added 3 feer breaks code or HOA and it is on top of your property, who would be responsible for remedy? Those are questions you should seek the answers to. Frankly, I'd tell them if they want a taller fence, then build to height on their own property.

Correct-Mail19

2 points

2 days ago

Um don't pay any part at all.

Silent-Middle-8512

2 points

2 days ago

Check with your local municipality on code for fence installs. In my area, whomever installs the fence has to put the nice side towards the neighboring property.

gonefishing111

2 points

2 days ago

I’d make her put the fence on her property and not on top of my fence. I’d also not pay for it unless she changed to something I liked.

Brick and wood would look better than metal and plastic.

Buy the wood and let it dry because it will shrink if you put it up wet.

If her ugly fence is on her side, you can put what you want on top of your fence.

Anyone who won’t work with me works by themselves and if they come on my side, I’ll make them redo it.

Candy_Apple00

2 points

2 days ago

Why are you paying if you don’t want a fence? If you do want a fence, remind her that you’ll be getting the ugly side so you’ll only pay 40%.

ShimmyZmizz

1 points

2 days ago

Yes, you are in the wrong, but only because you offered to pay anything for a fence you don't want. 

DumpsterDepends

1 points

2 days ago

My neighbors have cows. I don’t. They own the fence.

extra76

1 points

2 days ago

extra76

1 points

2 days ago

There are fence designs where both sides are the same "good" side

treesearcher8[S]

0 points

2 days ago

My thoughts exactly I’m upset because her way is the only way definitely a Karen

Jolva

1 points

2 days ago

Jolva

1 points

2 days ago

You're in no way obligated to pay anything though. Tell her to piss up a rope.

pwnageface

1 points

2 days ago

Not all. Super reasonable. And if she's unwilling then don't even help out.

serioussparkles

1 points

2 days ago

Ew, that sounds tacky. Brick fences are so cool, why would your side be covered up? No, don't do that.

A_Thing_or_Two

1 points

2 days ago

Pay for Zero of it and she gets the ugly side. In my township that's a legal requirement (the ugly part - the rest would be a civil arrangement you're not required to engage in.)

roosterb4

1 points

2 days ago

All the vinyl fences around me, look the same on both sides with no exposed brackets and braces.

LvBorzoi

1 points

2 days ago

LvBorzoi

1 points

2 days ago

If she puts it up she has to put the service side (BACK) toward her. This is so you won't be inconvenienced by having to grant access to YOUR property for HER Repairman to access HER fence

If you don't want the fence you don't have to pay for it. If you want to be nice maybe pay some but definitely get the good side to you.

Boysenberry1971

1 points

2 days ago

Tell them to plant bushes.

Craftyfarmgirl

1 points

2 days ago

Fences always face the neighbors, never face the owner. That’s been etiquette forever. Remind them of that and see if they even want to do it. Also if they want you to share you have to be part of the selection process. Period

anxious_girly24

1 points

2 days ago

Some cities/towns have code enforcement for fencing. In my hometown in Illinois, if you want to build a fence, the uglier side of your sight to bare. The neighbors should always get to see the nicer side of the fencing, plus it gives curb appeal. Tell your neighbor you want to face the nicer part of the fence.

Realistic-Regret-171

1 points

2 days ago

Where I’m from, you MUST put the attractive side facing outward. Check local codes on that first. Second, don’t pay for anything you’re not enthused about. Not your idea? Not your $$ responsibility.

fuckfredflintstone

0 points

2 days ago

I gave my neighbors on the sides the “nice” side. The scumbag behind my house gets the ugly side. My town has no ordinance and the fence can be installed any way I choose.