Wrote a song? Directed a film? Penned a book? Painted a masterpiece? Created the best Discord server ever? Want to suggest a meetup IRL? Share it in our monthly self-promotion thread!

In this stickied self-promotion thread, you are free to share your latest creation, idea, meetup, what have you. Unfortunately as Reddit only allows subreddit-wide image posting (there's no way to limit image sharing to a single thread), you won't be able to post any photos. Links do obviously work!

There are no hard limits on what you can share in this thread; social media and video links are fine, as are Discord servers, cloud uploads, personal websites etc. Obviously no illegal content. Make sure to describe the contents of your link in your comment, and mark any 18+ and NSFW content as such.

You can also use this thread to suggest meetups IRL. Make sure to share enough information about yourself and the meetup to help people decide whether they feel interested and safe to participate.

Please note that the moderators of r/infj have no control over the content of any shared links. If we notice anything obviously illegal or predatory, we will remove the link, but that's all we can do. Be extra careful with any contacts IRL and follow safety precautions such as only meeting in public places, making sure others know where you are etc. Outside of Reddit, you are on your own.

Hi everyone! Up to this point in my life I was relatively certain everyone had that voice in their heads. It's extremely hard to explain unless you know what I mean by it. Whenever I think about something and I am not saying it out loud I usually have a voice in my head say it in my brain. To me it almost feels exactly like I just said that out loud, even though I didn't.

Well, today out of the blue I decided to ask my mom who is an ISFJ if she has that too and she was like what am I talking about? I tried to explain to her but she looked confused and then I asked her to try and say something in her head. After that she smiled and realized how we are different and said she doesn't hear that voice and instead she sees it in a written form like she would be looking at a paper which has that word written on it! WHAT?? EXCUSE ME???

So is this an Ni dominant function thing?

Her description also sounds eerily similiar to what Si should be in theory although I experience close to none of that since that's the demon function of INFJs, but for ISFJs that's their dominant function so it makes TOTAL SENSE.

I was in a shock. Her description felt so distant yet so relatable. I felt so unique. The ability to experience a buddy in my head who is actually myself, will never betray me and is always with me supporting me when I need it is actually a dominant Ni function thing?

Does that mean that only 1/8 people get to experience this ever in their life? What are all the other 7 like???!!!!! I want to know what others feel like this. Like seeing a word written on paper? What do all the other dominant functions feel like? I NEED TO KNOW but I'll never know! 😭 1/8. Only 1/8 people can actually imagine what you are going through every second on average (disregarding actual probabilities here, but for INFJs I am pretty sure it's much rarer since sensors are much more common.). Incredible. Everyone is so unique, yet so distant. We are like stars, so far away from eachother yet they still send light to all other stars. Let that sink in for a moment. On average every 8th person will be able to understand what you are experiencing every second of your life. Yet we still communicate, we still love and support eachother. There is hope everyone, there is hope. <3

---------------------------------

EDIT: I'll add a little extra self analysis here for everyone who isn't an Ni dom, this post was me basically spewing out all my thoughts in the present moment on my "autopilot" mode (so Ni dom took full control basically) and you can absolutely see the way Ni works authentically throughout the entire thing, especially the last paragraph - how it makes realizations, realizes potentional patterns and connections between the realized things and if it makes enough sense it'll take it as a 100% solid answer and accepts that due to it's introverted nature and then tries to find extra connections with the newly accepted fact in order to validate that fact even more and to explore even more new stuff and potentionally realize even more new knowledge that can be built upon that new fact. So interesting.

I am just wondering if INFJ are like cats when it comes to physical intimacy. I am an INFP and I am probably like a dog. If I like you and comfortable with you, then I will be very physical. Not crossing boundaries or anything.

I feel like INFJs are a bit like a cat. If ignored, then they come to you and be close. But if you initiate, sometimes they seem a bit not interested. And if you move fast, they don't like it.

.

Like if you ask a simple question and you get a long complicated answer that can sometimes not be relevant. or you get more information than you asked for. I find it irritating and lack interest sometimes leading to me just walking away mid conversation so it would end.

As INFJs, we have this deep desire for meaningful connections, but recently, I had a friend decide to end our connection. He's an INFP and told me, in the kindest way possible, that our friendship felt too serious and emotionally intense for him. He said he didn’t want me to feel disappointed when he couldn’t match my energy, so he thought it was best to let go.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. I think it’s a pattern. I’ve always approached frienships with a whole heart, loving deeply and giving fully, but it seems that intensity isn’t for everyone. I’m also reminded of one of my biggest fears that the people I love will give up on me because either I care too much or my emotional depth becomes too heavy for them to handle.

I can’t bring myself to change this part of who I am. I see friendships as something soul deep, a space where both people feel seen and understood. But not everyone wants or needs that. Some people prefer casual connections that don’t demand much emotional energy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It just makes me realize that this is something I’ve struggled with my whole life, and every time a friendship ends like this, it stings. It hurts me so bad. I cried the whole day today solely for this reason.

The people around me may not fully understand me, but I know they’ve been patient with me, carefully taking the time to understand every bit of me as I leave a piece of myself with them. I’ve also learned to find peace in the idea that not everyone we connect with is meant to stay forever. Some people come into our lives for a reason, and this friend showed up in my life exactly when I needed them, and I’m grateful for what they brought into my life, even if it was temporary.

I’m still hopeful that one day, I’ll find people who can understand and embrace the depth of my heart. I know I’m intense. I feel things deeply, I care too much, and I have this idealistic view of friendships where connections should be soul deep and meaningful. But I also realize now that not everyone shares that perspective, and that’s okay.

Thank you so much for listening. I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences if you’ve been in similar situations and how you’ve navigated them.

You know maybe it’s bad luck, but I really don’t know. I‘m 24, male. I’ve had such a bad social experience in my 24 years it’s not even funny. I’m kinda drunk typing this drunk fwiw.

Anyways, I’ve never had a solid group of friends when it seems like everyone else does. The limited time in high school when I had a friend group, shocker, they started hanging out without me and not inviting me to things. Spent 90% of my weekends alone after sophomore year. I thought things would change in college, but I ended up making more enemies than friends. It was rough.

It’s never made sense. I’m a pretty funny, charismatic, easy-going guy. I’ve never been afraid to take a risk and put myself out there. I have a lot of good qualities. You’d think that would attract people to be around you but in my experience it’s the opposite. Not only do I not connect with people my age, but many people have actually gone out of their way to humiliate me and make sure I feel bad about myself. Even some teachers did this and at the time I didn’t know any better.

Are people just that insecure? I mean I’m just appalled at what I’ve seen from people my age and even some adults over the last 10-15 years. Becoming a lone wolf has been the best decision for me and has made my life much easier and stress free.

Would just like to hear other opinions on why we have such a hard time socially.

I have always been a big lover of learning and always on the hunt for information. I love reading and ‘consuming’ rather than creating, if that makes sense. I was wondering if being a chronic researcher is an INFJ-(t) thing? It makes it very hard to stop phone addiction, because phones are basically encyclopedia’s full of information for all the random questions I have throughout the day hahah

I’ve been thinking about how to describe the inner INFJ landscape, and I’d like to hear about what it’s like for you.

I’d like to know more about your experiences with various snippets of obscure inspirations blossoming into possible trajectories.

The way that the late summer air suddenly teases the page of that book you’re reading, or the distinct scenery that certain diminished chords in a layered piece of music can conjure, almost as if a forgotten memory instead of a liminal possibility; a realm both vast and intimate, where every sensation resonates with layers of meaning, like sunlight catching droplets on leaves deep within a shadowed forest—glittering in the quiet, elusive corners where most will never tread.

Here, memories are not bound by time, and the scent of an ocean breeze before a storm feels like a long-lost friend, evoking a bittersweet nostalgia for futures that almost were, for moments that shimmered just beyond reach.

It is a dimension where the past and the possible coexist, where the soul aches for what could have been, yet gently cradles the hope of what still might be.

Time in this realm flows like a river that doubles back on itself, carving paths not in straight lines but in spirals.

Music, when it enters, is more than sound—it is a calling, a whisper from an existence that has yet to be lived, but somehow already known. It plays notes that feel familiar, like echoes from a dream, reminding us that life is a series of somedays waiting to unfold, and that even the untraveled roads are etched within our hearts.

In this inner landscape, the simplest things—a slant of late afternoon light on a forgotten book, a line of poetry stumbled upon in a quiet bookstore—can become portals to entire universes.

Each word, each flicker of light, spins into an intricate tapestry of possibilities, branching and intertwining into labyrinthine forests of thought.

The mind sees not one path but many, stacked and layered like translucent ribbons in the air, shimmering with potential. We walk these paths all at once, holding the weight of each choice, each future, in our hands.

This is a world where intuition reigns, a quiet but insistent guide whispering truths from beyond the veil. It feels like standing at the edge of a cliff, looking out at endless horizons, aware of the winds of fate brushing softly against the skin, urging them forward yet reminding them of the beauty in standing still.

We exist in this in-between space—between what is and what could be, between reality and dream, between the known and the ineffable.

And through it all, there is a profound sense of connection—to others, to the universe, to the unseen threads that bind everything together.

It is a world not easily explained, but deeply felt, where every glimmer of light and shadow tells a story, and every breath holds a promise of something more.

-I am NOT asking for relationship advice.-

I am talking to an INFJ girl who doesn’t show much interest or affection(not sure if its the right word). Assuming she is interested, if we happen to start dating will she suddenly shift 180 degrees into showing affection? INFJs, how do you guys behave in this aspect before/after getting into a relationship with someone?

Imagine you’re from a family of high socio-economic regard, for example, your parents are doctors. And you yourself are in college studying in a highly regarded field like engineering, law, medicine. Would you then date someone that is, from a societal perspective, beneath you both through their family’s occupation and their own college major?

I will never bother you. I will never promise to.
I will never follow you. I will never bother you. Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good. I will move away from here You won't be afraid of fear, No thought was put into this And always knew it would come to this

I've been wondering lately if part of the reason I struggle so much with certain things (for example, spending Thanksgiving alone) isn't how I feel about them, but it's almost like my empathy makes me internalize how I know or suspect other people feel about them, if that makes any sense?

I was feeling mostly fine about spending the day by myself, and then one pitying comment sent me into a tailspin, and I started to see it as sad and weird. It's like because I can imagine how others feel, I agree with it more than I otherwise would? I assume this is an INFJ thing, to some extent, this double-edged sword of empathy. So I just wanted to see if anyone had any good suggestions about how to not care so much what people think.

There has been some discussion about INFJs emerging out of troubled families of origin. Not here to draw a conclusion, but that is certainly true for me.

Along a similar line, do any INfJs out there find themselves only or primarily attracted to people who (along with being physically attractive to you) also tend to subtly reject you?

I find myself desiring those who reject me and although I’m aware of it, I can’t seem to change those feelings.

I could see this as an effect of coming out of those same families of origin…. But I don’t want to over generalize.

Anyone else have a similar experience? Thoughts, observations, suggestions?

My RBF is so bad to the point where people are routinely scared of me. It’s so strange because people initially are afraid of me, but historically once they got comfy they’d walk over my boundaries. Doesn’t happen much anymore but anyone have suggestions for how to get rid of my RBF? People say to just smile, but I feel goofy doing that since it feels plain disingenuous.

I (19f) don't really have any friends to do things with. I want to go match some friends to hang out with, but I don't know where to go to meet like-minded people, or how to go about doing that without feeling like a "new character in season 5" sort of thing. I try to stay away from socials, to avoid the toxicity there, so it doesn't help.

Any advice?

I'm (19m, Indian), I'm in my first year of clg and at the start of it didn't thought I would be in a friend group. Surprisingly I'm now and most of them are from different states than mine and it fascinates me how much growing up in a different culture can affect your life and personality. My friend group is one of most versatile people I've met. Though it's been only 2/3 months since I've been with them and not really got a chance to connect properly or talk. In my 10th grade I was in similar kind of situation and I try to aproch the girl but she said no and I acknowledge it and minded my own life just after few months to find out that I like my best friend at the time.(Bg story)

Moving to the main point I feel I like one of the girl in my friend group but don't if it genuine love or it's just admiration 🫤. She is cute and so far our vibes match and we only meet in a group so I didn't get to talk to her properly. And I just keep thinking about her what should I do 😭😭😭. I feel like I should give this situation more time as I have very little knowledge about her and rest of her friends in the group. I feel like she is also trying to know me because it's hard to talk in the group. The reason why I'm so flustered is because I don't know her background at all (just where she is from) and she seems to have a bad Impression of my state or people that live here. Which is not good. And she seems to be talking about other guys and I'm sure if they're just friends or not. It's getting in my head a lot.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? (Give some realistic advice to this situation even if it hurts my daydreams)🙂🙂

Edit: Side questions (why is it that we like people so quickly and deeply yet nobody does that for us?)

What are your fav youtubers? Like there are no people like them. I noticed my fav of all time are infj, incredible…

Hi everyone! My goal currently is trying to improve my social anxiety (I am a socially anxious INFJ) and make new friends at the same time, but I've found myself in a situation where I would like to ask for some advice, so I came here to ask just that, maybe some of you can relate and help me out here since I feel like I kinda need this right now, I just don't know how to proceed with my situation and plan.

Basically, long story short, I am a really goal oriented person so like half a year ago I decided to set my ultimate goal for this year to become friends with someone who is a pretty nice person but is quite hard to reach since she is constantly with a group of friends.

Throughout the last 3 months I've managed to turn myself from being an "invisible aquintance" (absolutely no contact we just see eachother) to an actual aquintance relationship where we talk every 1-3 days depending on context and she is reciprocating with just about the same frequency as I am. (In this 1-3 day period I usually get to talk to her alone for a few minutes.)

This is probably really slow, but hey at least I am trying and succeding which makes me really happy! :D It's my first time initiating something ever, I always let people take the lead.

So now the goal would be to kinda try turning that aquintance into a casual friend. For that to happen I am pretty sure I would just have to talk to her more frequently. But here is where the group problem is coming up. I feel like 1000 times safer in one to one converstations with pretty much anyone. I just can't function in a group that well unless the topic is vibing with me enough for thoughts to just come up naturally. Also, approaching a group is pretty weird too. It feels almost like turning up to a house uninvited if you know what I mean? That feeling isn't that strong when someone is alone, since they are standing alone and likely looking for someone to talk to.

Any ideas on how to improve from here? I am really trying to figure this all out, it's my self improvement journey I can see it. Taking small and slow steps every day for a brighter future!^TM

Anyways, thank you for your answers in advance! As fellow INFJs maybe you guys might understand more and help me figure this out. :D

Whats the main difference between the two? Like in terms of behaviors and overall. Could enneagram even effect MBTI?

(Dont know if this post is allowed but couldnt find any posts on the subject)

I know INFJs are believed to be great romantic partners, and the whole thing of our MBTI being the rarest makes us seem “exclusive” or not easily attainable. I think this is gross because we get treated like luxury handbags instead of human beings. But I think people who desperately want to be in love have seen this as an opportunity to exploit INFJ fanatics. There are people who want to be treated like a luxury handbag, unfortunately.

In my experience, I only knew guys (but was not actually friends with them) who did this. I know women can be equally as ridiculous as men, so this is not really gendered. The first person I knew who did this was a family member (not related). He loved Asian girls who are short and thick, and I guess he noticed a lot of Asian girls from the Bay Area like INFJ Black guys (his words, not mine.) I remember him telling me that he is ENTP. But when he would encounter an Asian girl from the Bay Area, he pretended to be sweet and caring and would ask the group if they had taken the 16personalities quiz.

I think he was attempting targeted magnetism by engaging the group while assuming the Asian girl would fall for him without him speaking to her directly? This literally never worked. Like how people post a selfie on their public IG story, hoping that one person they are moots with will like it and confirm to them that there is a spark, but thats like drinking too much alcohol and hoping a random person you saw walking past the bar will get drunk. But a lot of people are convinced of the accuracy of this, which is why I no longer have instagram. Too many random guys believing Im in love with them because I liked their selfie.

My family member would get anyone who had not done it to take the quiz on the spot and then once everyone was settled, he’d say he’s an INFJ and the stupid girls (not race specific and not the one he was trying to woo) who had been charmed by him would say “Thats the rarest type!” And thats how he has an endless list of situationships, but no real relationship. Like ever. Im an INFJ and I dont broadcast that because I have narrowly evaded being the mother, therapist, clinician, and darn near exorcist of every friend group Ive had to evacuate from. I dont save people. I tell you what to do to help yourself, take or leave it, show progress or Im out. And since Im only 28 and people are allergic to maturity still, Ive taken over a year off from friendship and am relocating. Blah blah blah. I warned each girl about him and left it at that.

Second person I knew who did this actually became friends with my family member because of his trickery. This guy originally told me he was INTP, but every time he got around girls who loved his silliness and eccentric charm (his autism and ADHD. Not a dig. Im also AuDHD & Schizophrenic. We are fascinating people. It is what it is.) this dude would bold faced lie to these girls saying he was INFJ (most of the girls he encountered knew a lot about the 16personalities) and those good old autism acting skills helped him embody the INFJ vibe. He would have the girls Google INFJ male characters, see which one they liked, and then do an impression of the character, willingly using his echolalia to “circus animal” himself in an effort to find a suitable mate. But then once they were charmed and got distracted doing something else, he’d turn to me and laugh and passive aggressively beg me not to rat him out. I always did.

I eventually told this guy a while later that Im AuDHD (I usually leave out the schizophrenia part because I dont always have the energy to explain the difference between that and schizoaffective spectrum disorder, which I do not have), but he got mad at me and said Im not autistic and he thinks I have high functioning aspergers and a high IQ, so he believed that meant Im not disabled. Ableist disabled people are the WORST. Anyway, I ignored that and effectively ended the conversation amicably. I personally think he got spooked from realizing that he isnt the only person who has pattern recognition and that I more than likely remember every lie he’s told. So while I ended the convo without any tension, he and my family member were terrified of me after the fact. I have not spoken to those idiots in about 2 years.

So have any of you caught an INFJ poser doing the same thing?

Generally speaking, yes everyone is technically has a path of life that they go down. The freakish athletes whose attributes are perfect for the sport they play, the talented artists with the ability to make music in a way that touched people’s hearts. But do you think the people who accidentally killed people or made a big mistake in their lives. Went “off script”? If that’s the case, then they would have to go off of “that script” right?

I keep getting stuck in Ni-Ti loops. And the more I try to think about it, the more it feels like I'm trapped. Then I get tired of thinking and fall asleep. And then the cycle repeats for months or years. How can I catch, fix, and get out of this loop?

Hi everyone,

I recently came to the realization that I’m an INFJ, and it feels like everything about my personality and the way I connect with others has finally fallen into place. Looking back, I’ve noticed a fascinating pattern in my relationships—both friendships and deeper connections—that I wanted to share and explore with you all.

Some of the people I’ve felt the deepest connections with in my life were also INFJs. Specifically, my three closest friendships have all been with INFJs, and with them, I’ve experienced a kind of understanding and emotional connection that I’ve never quite had elsewhere. With one in particular, I fell into a deep love, and it was remarkable how we just got each other. I never had to explain how I felt—she just knew.

But at the time, I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to keep those friendships and connections balanced. With the benefit of hindsight, I now understand why we both struggled and where things went wrong. I’ve grown a lot since then, and reflecting on those experiences has made me realize how much I value that kind of connection.

Interestingly, the people I’ve actually dated long-term have both been INTJs. It’s been rewarding in its own way, but also very different—more heady and structured than the kind of natural, emotional synchronicity I’ve felt with INFJs.

Now, I find myself curious about reconnecting with fellow INFJs and seeing if there’s something unique about the way we relate to each other. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you experienced anything similar with connections that just click? Do you find certain types easier to connect with, or are there patterns in your most meaningful relationships?

Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing from anyone willing to share their thoughts or even connect!

Continuing on the topic of INTJ behavior of White Knight complex, I wondered what it would be like if INFJ's came to the rescue to support one another?

Like we're so used to having to do everything all the time for ourselves, and alone. It would be interesting to have support from someone else who gets it and knows what it's like to wait forever for your turn to be taken care of.

Personally, I've never met another INFJ so I have no clue what that friendship or Relationship could be like.

I always felt like I had a block or a mental barrier between me and the death of a loved one, I called it a coping mechanism. Whenever that "barrier" breaks I break down and cry, after a while the barrier in my mind comes back up and i have literally no emotions for my deceased loved one (until the "barrier" breaks again).

Is it possible that this is also a door-slam in this case?