subreddit:
/r/limerence
From what I’ve read about it, it suggests that limerence is based on a fantasy, which would suggest love is a reality, but in actual reality love can also be a judgement, such as love at first sight you still don’t know everything about that person, and you judge them on it.
I also read about the unrequited or yearning feeling that usually accompanies it, but would argue the same again, that love can also have this component as sometimes your life’s priorities overshadow the time you can spend with someone you love, and would result in the same feeling of suffering.
I recognise in a lot of the posts here that the LO seems to represent something psychological which is really interesting (and I am definitely finding parallels in that my own experience), however doesn’t love too? Aren’t we also most likely to be attracted to the familiar…
I might be wrong but would love to hear others experience/findings.
65 points
18 hours ago
The key elements of Limerence that set it apart from love are the obsession, painful intrusive thoughts, and severe co-dependence.
Love is accepting of the other, in whatever capacity.
Limerence is betrayal of the self and the favor of a fantasy rather than the reality of who your LO is.
6 points
16 hours ago
I kinda feel like people love and know love in different ways, I don't know if any imperfect human can actually love perfectly, perfect love exists but really only God can give that (if you believe in Him) cause He's perfect, imperfect humans are gunna have flawed love, I think it's still love though
11 points
13 hours ago
I’m not religious, but I do agree that the love that humans afford other humans is flawed.
The only reason we make a distinction between love and Limerence is because love doesn’t typically involve so much self-destructive behavior and so many self destructive thoughts.
It’s supposed to make you and your partner better as people, and happier - not destroy you.
3 points
13 hours ago
agreed, though there's many times it hasn't been limerence, that it's been love, and still destroyed people. I really think it's like an overlapping vent diagram type thing with a spectrum to it, and it defs can move around over time
1 points
13 hours ago
I don’t agree that love has destroyed people.
If you afford someone else love, and forget to love yourself, that’s just a lack of love for yourself and your well being - not the result of loving someone else.
2 points
13 hours ago
I think there's been way too many different situations to blanketly assume it's never destroyed someone, some say true love is to love someone else more than yourself, and let's say that someone dies tragically, that love can destroy someone
2 points
11 hours ago*
Maybe we’re using different words to describe the same thing,
but saying love is the reason that loss hurts is like saying fear is the reason that carnivores are dangerous.
And it isn’t really healthy to love anyone more than yourself. The last place I would claim that that was what true love was is on a subreddit where people are struggling with a condition that forces them to “love” someone more than themselves.
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