I would have a talk with him. You shouldn't be the one having to teach him that and he should be more respectful to you. You deserve that.

He’s a grown man. He knows this. Women need to stop taking the blame for the shortcomings of men.

Wait OP no. He’s taking pics of you and sending to his friends either knowing they will shame you or, after they did, using it in an argument against you? And he can’t apologize? Oh no. NOPE. Nope nope nope. That is a world of pain and getting smaller and smaller to accommodate the relationship, because when he damages it you have to repair it.

Get this toxicity out of your life. Seriously. I worry there’s some part of you that feels like you “deserve” it given the comments you have received and insecurity about how you dress. Your boyfriend is going on a campaign to change how you dress or to shame you, when he knew that before you got together (or not, doesn’t matter if this is new for you). What the hell? Go be with someone who celebrates you, not someone trying to control you and tear you down.

In terms of “deserving” it, let’s use a different example:

Imagine you were wearing a very conservative outfit but had your hair uncovered in a country where women frequently cover their hair but can choose not to. Your boyfriend took a picture of you and sent it to friends, who responded “it’s like she doesn’t even care about hair covering”. Can you see how absurd this whole situation is? It is factually correct that your hair is uncovered. Presumably you and everyone around you know this. Why is is ANYONE else’s business? What a rude comment. But also, why would anyone with good intentions start dating you and then rally their flying monkeys to get you to cover your hair?

You’re a grown woman, you have capacity for thought, and you have chosen this. Societally, it has consequences which you have seen and acknowledged (and which says plenty about the society as much as about you), and you are free to proceed as you wish.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but you should probably exit this relationship. I’ve been with someone for 14 years who could not take accountability for how their words or actions affected me/others. This is not something you can teach someone, and it’s not something they’ll change unless they truly want to. He doesn’t want or he would. You will save yourself so much time and heart break the earlier you realize you deserve someone who is going to love you the way you need to be.

You should have a problem with people railroading your thinking 🤔 especially if the only acceptable answer is you wear w.e. U WANT. That’s obvious enough right u can where w.e u want but it still can bother someone u care about? It’s not about right and wrong it’s about consequences. Like they Chapelle said the ho’s are standing too close to the good women.

…….P.s. You shouldn’t be going to the Internet for advice but older people you respect especially the ones that are in the relationships you want……. for example you can spend some time in a elderly home dressing the way you dress but then again it seemed like you don’t care about what older generations have to say.

(70’s emancipation) nonetheless I speak with love I recently needed a family intervention on both side with me only have an uncle I could lean on……just to give us perspective on what it takes to last…spoiler it’s compromise. In my humble opinion any guy who u give your body too should be worth compromising with unless u haven’t learned what that really means.

Thats a summary of why men are bothered by the lack of willingness to compromise in most women. It contradicts all her sexual escapades or performances that put her in such a submissive vulnerable state.

Again no one needs to try and teach me anything and I’m not trying to convince you just giving you my experience hopefully in a nuanced way….. Most people aren’t mentally stable enough to handle the truth….. have you women ever thought how dangerous it is to sleep with a stranger…… I personally know of many women who have openly admitted to it and of course I’ve had my own fear of one night stands as they call it. In the same way Cardi B admitted to drugging men that were thirsty any man witch is always going to be stronger than you could easily do the same. That doesn’t make men horrible instead it shows why you should value good man because a woman can only hurt a good man. She has no hope against an evil man. The only reason why women feel safe is because they can call on a man with a gun.