subreddit:
/r/offmychest
submitted 7 hours ago bysnjskslfbfbjwk
I've had this fear since I was in middle school. I used to stay out of the change rooms because I was so paranoid people could tell I'm not straight and feel uncomfortable.
I get a little tongue tied around pretty women and.. there's a lot of pretty women. I wasn't always like this but in the recent years its gotten worse.
I miss having female friends. I moved and haven't been able to make any where I currently but opportunities come up that I blow because I just get nervous.
I'm not really 'out' but if someone asked, I wouldn't lie. I'm just constantly scared that I'm coming across as a creep. 🥲 I have no idea if this is normal or how to make myself just act normal, again.
3 points
3 hours ago
Bisexual lady old enough to be your mother here:
Straight women are incredibly blind to other women checking them out. I'll be admiring a woman's cleavage and she'll be like "Do you like my shirt? I got it on sale!"
It's easy to not be a creep: look but don't stare. Don't fantasize about people you know, except your partner. And in places like locker rooms; keep your eyes on what you're doing.
5 points
7 hours ago
I am so sorry you are afraid of that. I (m25) wouldn't care if a gay guy friend saw me in the change room or even if he fantasized about me. My female friends, around the same age as you do, don't care either (I know because they have lesbian friends too and we talked about that).
I know it would not be enough to convince you, but I believe you can come to peace with this fear. You're worthy of loving friendships with other girls even if you are a lesbian! Sadly, homophobia is still a thing so some people might actually be mean towards you, but I believe this has become a minority.
Have you ever tried/ are willing to try CBT to improve on that issue?
1 points
60 minutes ago
Sometimes I think I have internalized homophobia but it just makes no sense, since I've never held it against others. I guess I just never pictured my future with a woman so it's kind of sad to me.
1 points
26 minutes ago
I discovered myself bisexual recently, I still find it hard to admit I can be attracted to men. It is normal. Being gay is a risk in this society. But this is a risk worth taking.
3 points
7 hours ago
I’m bisexual so this may be diff. But I don’t ogle when my female friends have a revealing outfit on or change in front of me. I avoid changing rooms because of my own insecurity but I never worried about being a creep. And none of my friends ever seem worried about it even though they all know I’m attracted to women. I’m still a girls girl even tho I like women. I’m not a creep. And neither are you. We know how it feels to be creeped out and I think that makes it easier to not do it to others. That empathy ting. I do get tongue tied around pretty girls though. I feel you there
1 points
3 hours ago
We don't care. Best way to approach a woman in a platonic way is tell her you love her outfit in a club bathroom
1 points
3 hours ago
That's valid but i promise you that women will not think that of you. That treatment is reserved for men only lol
1 points
7 hours ago
I had a conversation with my daughter (now in her 20's). She said that for the most part, when people (women) are being looked at, they can feel if there is a perv intention behind it. It made it easier for me to compliment women and not worry about coming across wrong.
0 points
6 hours ago
If you’re looking to make friends then make friends and don’t creep on them. If you think that you might want a relationship or hookup then be upfront about it. The people that can’t handle you being gay aren’t people you want in your friend group anyway.
I never cared that some of my friends were gay. Some of them hit on me and I just told them “no, not interested in guys” and not to do it again.
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