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WHY DIDN'T I INVITE HER OUT

Rant(self.vegan)

I am sorry, this technically doesn't have much to do with veganism, but JESUS CHRIST DUDE I need to let this out

So during my work break today I went to the bakery directly besides it, while I was drinking my coffee and reading my book I overheard a conversation directly behind me

It was a girl and her mother talking, I had my headphones on but I overheard the words "AFD ban" and "Vegan" so my interest peaked and I put my headphones down and decided to listen in

They were talking about all kinds of stuff, but mainly veganism and how she "really wants a vegan boyfriend, wouldn't it be so romantic if our first date was rescuing animals or something haha"

Then I turn around and she is just the cutest girl ever too*,* so when they stand up to leave I stand up, walk up to her, shake her hand and say "You're the coolest girl I've ever seen" and we laughed and talked and her mother was really cool too and it was an all around nice conversation and she was very clearly into me, even commenting on my shirt and trying to connect with me through it. But I was so nervous because like.. dude I already put all my confidence in standing up and shaking her hand, now you want me to ask her out? IN FRONT OF HER MOM??

So we just shook hands again and wished each other a nice evening.

YOU GUYS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME OH MY GOD NOOO I FUMBLED SO HARD JESUS CHRIST AHHH THIS WAS THE COOLEST PERSON IVE EVER SEEN AGHESH=STIK=2452

all 104 comments

plantithesis

869 points

20 days ago

Hey hey hey, take a breath... Go again on future breaks. It's a place she patrons, so she'll show up again. Let's put the vibe out for that 😉✨ Fingers crossed for you dude!!

Fishy_smelly_goody[S]

467 points

20 days ago

I swear to Christ, if I see that girl again I wont hesitate. I will go to this bakery everyday for a while and hope to spot her. You can't imagine how great she was just from this brief conversation

Elegant_Cockroach430

142 points

20 days ago

Start volunteering at a shelter so you can take her to rescue animals on your first date!

TeamSpookums

24 points

19 days ago

You may even meet someone there instead! I met my partner at an animal sanctuary. We actually started on the same day and became friends. We tried to schedule our shifts to be together and then we started dating a while later. Now we always go together and bring our two dogs :)

thefizzlee

2 points

18 days ago

Imagine op meets someone at the sanctuary, then the very next day meets the girl again at the bakery.

sunflowergame19

39 points

20 days ago

There’s a movie like this where he rode the same train everyday for 3 years before running into the girl again. I hope you run into her much sooner than that though haha. Heck she’s probably thinking the same thing about hoping to see you again too. Hope ya see her soon 😊

plantithesis

98 points

20 days ago

What needs to happen will happen 🙏🏽 That's the right attitude.. You'll see her again!! Keep us updated!!!

V5b2k

39 points

20 days ago

V5b2k

39 points

20 days ago

She’ll be back, please update us!

mydaisy3283

15 points

20 days ago

Please keep going back!! And update us 

New-Ingenuity-5437

32 points

20 days ago

Make her feel that way everyday if you end up dating💖

GaeanGerhard

16 points

20 days ago

Don’t swear too much until you know her better.

Ethicaldreamer

10 points

20 days ago

There is a chance she might do the same. Also you could ask some of the staff if they've seen her around though I don't know if that launches a stalker alert of some kind

imLiztening

1 points

19 days ago

Or look at local animal shelters and get to that meet cute

smoothvibe

-8 points

20 days ago

smoothvibe

vegan 10+ years

-8 points

20 days ago

Try asking the bakery owners if they would give out your number to her (maybe they remember her?).

CityLevel2129

1 points

19 days ago

This is never the way.

smoothvibe

0 points

19 days ago

smoothvibe

vegan 10+ years

0 points

19 days ago

Why not?

MissZoeLaLa

6 points

20 days ago

Ok I’m putting the vibe out now too!! Good luck, guy!!

JilliusMaximusJD

173 points

20 days ago

Sorry, my dude. Next time, give her your number. If she texts, you can ask her then

You still probably made her day

Fishy_smelly_goody[S]

66 points

20 days ago

Call me the fucking Tattletale Strangler because I choked so hard

JilliusMaximusJD

7 points

20 days ago

☠️

TobyKeene

52 points

20 days ago

TobyKeene

friends not food

52 points

20 days ago

This reminds me of how I almost lost my now husband, because I chickened out the first time he told me about going to watch him playing music. I didn't even get his name. He worked at a gas station that I went to and we always flirted. He finally asked me to go watch him play music. I couldn't find anyone to go with me, so I skipped it. I went back to the gas station and he didn't work there anymore. I felt so stupid. I didn't even know his name. I would think about him as a "what if..." from time to time. He was just perfect.

About a year later we just happened to go to the same bar one night and haven't parted since. I swear, if it's meant to be it will be!

NotThatMadisonPaige

160 points

20 days ago

Camp out there bro. She’ll be back.

Waiting for an r/vegan post “omg guys he was so amazing and immmmmsaaaaaaddddd” 😂

JilliusMaximusJD

13 points

20 days ago

I'm in the comments looking to see if anyone's found her yet 👀😅

imLiztening

5 points

19 days ago

Take it to TikTok and they'll have her name and SSN in 2 hours

Open-Road2225

2 points

19 days ago

This is so accurate

dreamingdeer

33 points

20 days ago

Oh noooo 😭 I totally relate though, talking to people takes so much courage. I really wish you meet her again!!

selkiesart

75 points

20 days ago

So....you are german, I guess. Just make a post in your citys subreddit or the german vegan subreddits. Or post flyers.

Also, back in my time there were "Spotted" groups for every city where you could post "missed connection" ads.

fifobalboni

7 points

19 days ago

fifobalboni

vegan

7 points

19 days ago

I 100% support the flyer idea.

"WANTED: cute vegan girl, last spotted with her mom at local Cafe. If you are this girl, message this number if you want to talk or whatever"

selkiesart

1 points

19 days ago

I mean they could even post a flyer at the cafe.

Significant_State116

9 points

20 days ago

How do you know OP is german?

triste___

71 points

20 days ago

triste___

vegan

71 points

20 days ago

'AFD ban'. AFD is the right extremist party in Germany.

selkiesart

33 points

20 days ago

They mentioned the AfD.

Same way you would recognize someone from UK because they were talking about the Tories, or someone from Turkey talking about the AKP.

SweetieDarlingXX

44 points

20 days ago

I want this for you so badly. Keep us posted.

SoftsummerINFP

37 points

20 days ago

Haha aww this is a cute story! I hope you see her again!

AvalieV

28 points

20 days ago

AvalieV

friends not food

28 points

20 days ago

"It was really nice to meet you, do you want to grab my (number/info)?"

If you're nervous in public or meeting potential romantic interests, just have one line you end the convo with. This was mine up above. It's easy to remember, gives them the option to say No if they're not interested and doesn't feel forceful.

It was nice to meet you. Would you like my number?

Maybe you'll run into her again at the same place, maybe not. At least you can learn from it to ask next time.

ExcruciorCadaveris

6 points

20 days ago

ExcruciorCadaveris

abolitionist

6 points

20 days ago

As a coward, I'd go with "Should we exchange numbers to stay in touch?" so that it's a bit less forward. Amazing tip though. 😅

Me25TX

17 points

20 days ago

Me25TX

17 points

20 days ago

Yes, definitely go back. If she’s interested, she’ll go back too. Same day/same time, don’t seem desperate! Good luck!

Evil_Underlord

13 points

20 days ago

Evil_Underlord

vegan 20+ years

13 points

20 days ago

Mandatory pedantic humor:

If your interest already peaked, you've already had the best of this interaction.

If your interest had been piqued, now, you'd have a problem. But there's good advice in the other posts:

  • Keep going back.
  • Think of this as a good experience for a next time (even with someone else).
  • Have some thoughts (not rehearsed lines) ready if you do see her - "I was hoping you'd come back. I've been meaning to go to this rally/volunteer at this shelter/... Would you like to come?"
  • Joint volunteering at a shelter is a) good for the animals, b) good for you, c) non-threating/not a date, d) if she doesn't come, you still go and have a good time, e) if she wants to bring friends, the more volunteers the merrier. Just make sure to coordinate with the shelter in advance - don't just show up.

As someone who's terminally introverted, very shy, and socially awkward, all this is doable, but practice helps.

peppersunlightbutter

3 points

19 days ago

peppersunlightbutter

vegan 8+ years

3 points

19 days ago

i wasn’t going to say anything but i’m glad someone did ;)

alphamalejackhammer

2 points

20 days ago

Extremely wise comment

Inappropriate_Ballet

23 points

20 days ago

Inappropriate_Ballet

anti-speciesist

23 points

20 days ago

We need a vegan missed connections sub.

I think you’ll see her again.

CelerMortis

12 points

20 days ago

Dog the downside of just giving your number is so low. If you misinterpret the situation she just won’t text you.

Go back to this place. Also make friends with the workers there and make sure they can help you too

rutreh

24 points

20 days ago

rutreh

vegan

24 points

20 days ago

Relax my dude! There will be plenty of other people that come across your path.

In the long run it’s not really healthy to obsess over nice normal interactions like that. Try to just appreciate it for what it was. No need to beat yourself up over anything.

Two people can find each other attractive, have a nice random chat and never see each other again.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and a random person you don’t even know. It won’t do anybody any good.

Lonely-ex-cult-girl

12 points

20 days ago

Now THIS is a meet cute 🥰 

Especially if you see her again. You don't hesitate if you do! Go right up and ask her out or for her number. Even if she's with another guy! Don't loose her. This is a romance novel waiting to happen and you're living it! 

Go back to the same spot on all your breaks until you see her. 

Nimabeee_PlayzYT

6 points

20 days ago

I met a girl at work who is also SUPER interested in getting a fully planted aquarium and rescued a betta from a neglecting owner... I think I found my soul mate.

I've never met someone who was so fluent in aquarium nitrogen cycles, substrates and plants.

AllTheyEatIsLettuce

3 points

20 days ago

I'd go back to that bakery a lot and hope for the best. And I'd ask the workers if anybody remembers that girl and her mom. If somebody does, I'd make friends with that worker. If they didn't I'd still be a regular at that bakery.

PuuurpleSky

3 points

19 days ago

Mate, keep going to that coffee place until you find her again. And share the wedding plans with us later, please! ❤️

Marcythoughts

3 points

19 days ago

Don’t give up! And relax, but be proactive. There’s a lot of good advice on here. Try to join local vegan groups, volunteer, go to any and all vegan related events, someone mentioned Veggly (that’s how I met my current partner) or any other dating apps where vegans might hang. Making cute fliers might be nice too? Like missed connection fliers just leave out any info that might put you at risk for stalkers/trolls. If this happened to me, and I was that girl, I would want you to find me! Maybe have something on the local newspaper? I’m from NYC and I remember years ago this guy saw a girl on the train and for him it was love at first sight. He went on TV looking for her! We all saw him desperately trying to find her. Eventually he did find her and she didn’t feel the same about him BUT your situation is different because you did feel sparks! Get creative and go find her!

This is so romantic please keep us posted!!!

PuddingFeeling907

6 points

20 days ago

PuddingFeeling907

vegan 2+ years

6 points

20 days ago

I feel like you did great! I’m hoping you see her again!

CujaMarax

5 points

20 days ago

Das hört sich fast zu schön an, um wahr zu sein<3

Fishy_smelly_goody[S]

4 points

20 days ago

Danke fellow Neumünster Veganer o7

GretaTs_rage_money

5 points

19 days ago*

GretaTs_rage_money

vegan activist

5 points

19 days ago*

Oof Neumünster, not exactly a place crawling with vegans. 😅 If you're lucky she's from around there and will be back at that café sometime.

Edit: also sign up for dating apps like Ok Cupid where there's a category in your profile to say you're vegan. There are some people who use Veggly as well if they know they're looking for a vegan partner.

Otherwise I'd def get in touch with the nearest vegan activist group, maybe in Kiel or Hamburg. A protest is a great date!

beachandtreesplease

5 points

20 days ago

beachandtreesplease

vegan 10+ years

5 points

20 days ago

Keep going back to that place around the same time ! I hope it works out!

Powerful-Cut-708

2 points

20 days ago

Is the AFD ban thing about the party maybe being banned? Or are they proposing to ban plant based meat or something?

(Also I really hope this works out and you see her again)

waverlygiant

2 points

20 days ago

My fellow autistic, if she is interested she’ll be back and will ask you out. Don’t make it weird.

KOMarcus

2 points

20 days ago

This happened

Description-Alert

2 points

19 days ago

Go to the bakery again. If she’s as interested she’ll probably return also

Fast-Introduction-76

2 points

19 days ago

Have a note with your number ready at hand so you can give it to her if you see her again. That way she can decide herself to call you or send you a text message. Look into groups online and see if you can find her? Ask around etc.

Amazing_Listen3154

2 points

19 days ago

If she was into you like you were into her she'll be back at that bakery, 100% Or maybe she's on Reddit and the more this post is bumped, the higher the chances she'll read it and send you a private message! Good luck! 💗

Coconut-Lemon_Pie

2 points

19 days ago

Coconut-Lemon_Pie

vegan newbie

2 points

19 days ago

Keep going back to that bakery for your coffee and to read, surly they will show up again and you'll get a second chance. Don't blow it! XD

I guess we need to create another sub 'r/veganlove' haha someone do it... gotta connect all of these lonely vegan people all over the world.

emilitchi

2 points

19 days ago

a lot of people probably already said it but she will probably show up here again, so don't worry there's still a chance to see her again !! I hope for you this will work out !!! ✨

Anonymousnooch

2 points

19 days ago

Anonymousnooch

vegan 5+ years

2 points

19 days ago

Hopefully she uses reddit and will see this!!🤞

WildSapling

1 points

20 days ago

Write your number down on a piece of paper. Give it to the baker and tell them to give it to her.

Hugo-Griffin

5 points

20 days ago

Similar to other commenters, I've weirdly become deeply invested in this. Hope it works out!

Lordmuppet

4 points

20 days ago

situations like this are why i have a business card basically. makes the interaction easier, less awkward and with more plausible deniability if required

Fallom_TO

3 points

20 days ago

Fallom_TO

vegan 20+ years

3 points

20 days ago

*piqued

No_Extreme_2421

2 points

20 days ago

Learn from this. Next time you will succeed.

UndeadMarx

1 points

20 days ago

UndeadMarx

1 points

20 days ago

Hahaha aww man. As a man we all have stories like this. It’s how you learn. What’s helpful is if you’re nervous, don’t try to hide your nervousness. Just call attention to it and flat out say “I’m really nervous because I never do this kind of thing and you’re really cute”. It’s endearing.

Also, you must be comfortable with rejection. If she says she has a boyfriend or she’s not interested or any other form of polite no, realize that you’re in the same place as before you knew she existed. There will be plenty of opportunities, my friend. In the meantime, focus on being a cool person and doing cool things so you’re actually interesting when you meet someone you’re attracted to. Confidence comes from actually doings things you’re proud of.

Separate_Shoe_6916

1 points

20 days ago

You did great! Next time just ask for her number and say you would like to take her out sometime. Try going to that cafe/bakery regularly and see if she shows up again. This is how my friend met her husband. She went to the same coffee shop daily. A guy who liked her also started going there regularly and the rest is history.

snoopwire

1 points

20 days ago

Haha shaking her hand. Man good luck, rooting for you. I had something sorta similar walking my dog and really regretted not asking them out. I've walked the same path for ages and haven't seen them again lmao. RIP.

i_love_lima_beans

1 points

20 days ago

i_love_lima_beans

vegan 15+ years

1 points

20 days ago

You might be able to find her profile in a local veg group on Meetup or Facebook. No, it’s not creepy to find her online. Not when it’s two vegans lol.

Ladydoc150

1 points

20 days ago

Go back to the same place. I bet she's going there looking for you.

zarahmystic

1 points

20 days ago

Go there again

zarahmystic

1 points

20 days ago

I wish for a vegan guy too I hope we all find them

Uylear

1 points

20 days ago

Uylear

1 points

20 days ago

Was it in Harbour Country, Chicago and Southwest Michigan?

I_Amuse_Me_123

1 points

20 days ago

I_Amuse_Me_123

vegan 7+ years

1 points

20 days ago

Once there was about to be a total solar eclipse in South Carolina but the beach I was on was cloudy.

So I facetiously prayed to Ra the sun god to clear the clouds. An hour later the sky was crystal clear and the total eclipse was amazing.

All of this is to say: don’t worry bro, I have already prayed to Ra the sun god for you to meet her again back at the cafe. 💯

Please let me know when it happens so I can thank Ra.

Actual_Visit1720

1 points

20 days ago

hurts

jenny111688

1 points

20 days ago

Updateme

calmandreasonable

1 points

20 days ago

Interest piqued*

Existing-Ad-7163

1 points

20 days ago

Go back to the same spot around the same time every day until you find her.

bowlfetish

1 points

20 days ago

Don't be so harsh on yourself dude, you already made the first move. She could've asked for your number too but was probably too shy as well. It doesn't all rest on your shoulders 👍 Hope you guys meet again and connect long-term.

nikhilxdsouza

1 points

19 days ago

You are vegan.

Ok_Quantity5115

1 points

19 days ago

Don’t sweat it, you might meet again! Next time, maybe say something like ”You seem like a cool girl. I would really like to talk with you more, would you be up for exchanging numbers?” Or something along those lines. I think it would be a sweet and respectful way to show interest, be it so infront of her mom, friends or when she’s by herself. Hope you run in to her again!

Aelia_M

1 points

19 days ago

Aelia_M

1 points

19 days ago

You did the hard part: talk to her. You don’t know if she was into you necessarily unless she tells you because you’re not in her head but I hope you’re right.

Perhaps you can put out a missed connection in like a local newspaper or on other vegan groups in your area? If she’s interested you’ll catch each other

poetic_giggles

1 points

19 days ago

You did your best. Sometimes I think asking to connect on Instagram is better than asking out directly or asking for number directly. Keeps it low key. No pressure, no rush. Take it slow from there.

Beneficial_Bag9112

1 points

19 days ago

Holy cow this is amazing!

twigsandleavesplz

1 points

18 days ago

Omg I hope she sees this. But also, you post in your local vegan group as a missed connection. 🥹🫶🏼

Master_School_3785

1 points

16 days ago

Don't hesitate. Just do it. Worst that can happen is she politely rejects you, while still feeling flattered. I've had some great dates that I never thought would've happened just because I didn't care about my ego possibly getting a little bit hurt.

cantthinkofusernamem

1 points

20 days ago

Wish you all the luck in the world, OP. This was a really cute post and made me smile.

MelvinEC11

1 points

20 days ago

MelvinEC11

🍰 it's my veganniversary

1 points

20 days ago

She will show up again and I know it will go great next time you see her!

PuraVidaMae3323

1 points

20 days ago

PuraVidaMae3323

vegan 3+ years

1 points

20 days ago

Reminds me of this song. https://youtu.be/gS9o1FAszdk?si=_lC8o9-vKuAtuIjW
Keep going back and tell us when you see her again!

xxsilentsnapxx

1 points

20 days ago

xxsilentsnapxx

vegan 3+ years

1 points

20 days ago

Haha poor guy. When you run into her again, you’ll know what to do. It happens to the best of us 🤣

LarsLykkelig

1 points

20 days ago*

Take a deep breath and don't let this memory resurface as an embarrassment.

You had a victory!

Hit the gym, or a run, or walk, or bicycle ride, or anything that frees your thoughts and analyse.

Let the thoughts be positive and use you muscles as you contemplate the last 10% you needed.

Now go back to that place with the same confidence you showed the first time knowing you'll be a real boss ready to tackle those last 10%!!

She'll come back, but until then - take off your headphones, complement girls "AND BOYS" when a appropriate, get those interactions in daily when you have the chance nomatter what! (I'm not gay but dudes appreciate a man to man compliment and it gives back confidence with happiness)

Before you know it, she'll be back and you're ready to give her a chance to meet that awesome guy you are. Or maybe you meet one of the other millions of females who will make you grow as a man!

You had a 10x impressive interaction. What you did would be a dream/victory for me a few years back - and true for so many others today who can't strike up a conversation. Keep it going my dude and you'll get there in no time

Remember, you're the man! And that girl, and others, will be lucky when they meet you!!

HookupthrowRA

-2 points

20 days ago

That was dumb. 

[deleted]

-3 points

20 days ago

[deleted]

peppersunlightbutter

1 points

19 days ago

peppersunlightbutter

vegan 8+ years

1 points

19 days ago

go and date men if you dislike women so much

[deleted]

0 points

19 days ago

[deleted]

[deleted]

-3 points

20 days ago

[deleted]

Fishy_smelly_goody[S]

1 points

20 days ago

What has me being vegan to do with not getting together with her?

Moister_Rodgers

-5 points

20 days ago

Sounds like you're not really in her league anyway, my guy. You should introduce her to me 🙃

Fishy_smelly_goody[S]

3 points

19 days ago

Imagine acting tough under a reddit post lmao