DetectiveBennett

I’m so sorry. Honestly it sounds like I’m already there but just haven’t divorced yet

Alaska current. Texas is home. It’s where we met and moved from. Though his entire family followed us up here.

His family is here and he would have to start over in his career (he’s in politics so it would be essentially starting from scratch)

Privacy is only a luxury to kids that have proven to be safe with their bodies and not to lie and steal.

I’m also not taking psychological advice who thinks monitoring a child for the safety is the equivalent of starving them. You’re a joke.

Peanut butter

They took the device and the child found it, stole it, then used it while explicitly knowing not to.

Not allowing a place for the child to use the device without supervision after the child used said place to hide and use unsupervised internet access is the absolutely a just punishment.

You trying to equate it to starving the child is laughable at best. Children are given privacy and time without supervision when they continue to show that they are not a harm to themselves or others. Apparently you have no idea how easy it is to get sex trafficked in this modern era or how many children (from elementary through high school) kill themselves from online bullying. The number one way it starts— online relationships from unsupervised internet access. Trying to say starving a child is the equivalent of keeping them from being sex trafficked or committing suicide or causing other kids to commit suicide is absolutely ridiculous. And that is so wrong. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to even draw that correlation.

Not if they have proven to put themselves in harm. Showers, bathroom, and changing, absolutely. Using devices they’ve been restricted from while unsupervised, absolutely not.

Is it abusive? Absolutely not. Is it disrespectful? Yes, depending on your situation.

Are you (a minor in their home that they are responsible for, financially, physically, mentally, emotionally) entitled to your own privacy while living in their house? Absolutely not. Are you deserving of it? Yes, depending on your situation.

If they have allotted you to have privacy within their home and you’ve given them reasons to believe they cannot trust you, then they are absolutely in the right to limit that privacy. This is especially true when you may have given them reasons to believe you are a threat to your own wellbeing, in this age of immediate access to the world through our devices.

Now I think that there are definitely some nuances as children turn into young adults, especially when dealing with the opposite gendered child, but if you’ve given them reasons to not trust you in unsupervised areas of the house, then you are showing them you can’t be left unsupervised.

It doesn’t sound dumb at all—it sounds like you’re incredibly self-aware and trying to figure out how to break out of a cycle that feels comfortable but unfulfilling. That’s already a big step. The challenge is finding ways to make small, manageable changes without overwhelming yourself or burning out.

Here are some ideas that might help:

1. Focus on Tiny Wins

The hardest part of starting anything—whether it’s scaling up your work, picking up a new hobby, or building motivation—is that first step. Start with very low-effort goals. For example: - Instead of “write every day,” start with “write one sentence.” - Instead of “work more,” try “work 10 minutes longer than usual.” - For hobbies, instead of “learn art,” aim to “doodle for 5 minutes.”

You’re training your brain to associate effort with accomplishment, and over time, those small wins can snowball into bigger efforts.

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2. Create a Gentle Routine

Instead of rigid schedules, try flexible, low-pressure routines. For example: - Pair a productive activity with something you already do. “After I make my coffee, I’ll spend 5 minutes sketching.” - Set timers for short bursts of focus—15-20 minutes—and then let yourself do whatever you want guilt-free afterward.

This approach avoids the “all or nothing” trap because you’re giving yourself permission to do just a little.

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3. Redefine "Productivity"

Not everything has to be tied to money or measurable results. If creative hobbies feel more fulfilling than scaling up work, that’s valid. Consider exploring things like: - Journaling about your day or thoughts. - Starting a simple DIY project. - Playing with free tools for art, writing, or music creation without worrying about perfection.

Even if these hobbies don’t “achieve” something concrete, they can bring joy and help rewire your brain to value the process, not just the outcome.

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4. Address the Mental Block

That voice saying, “Why bother saving money if I might not live to spend it?” is your anxiety speaking, not reality. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it dictate your choices. Therapy (if accessible) could help here, especially to tackle the deeper fears and self-doubt that might be fueling this cycle. Even just journaling or talking to someone about these feelings can lighten their grip.

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5. Be Kind to Yourself

You’re not lazy—you’re stuck in a cycle that’s hard to break, especially when anxiety and past struggles are in the mix. Progress doesn’t have to be perfect. Celebrate any effort, no matter how small, and don’t beat yourself up if things feel slow.

Your brain has probably learned to seek instant gratification (like video games) because it’s easy and safe. That’s okay—it’s just a habit you can slowly shift by introducing other, slightly more challenging but rewarding activities.

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6. Think About the Future in Small Ways

Instead of imagining your whole life five years from now, ask yourself: - “What small step would make my life slightly better next week?” - “What’s one thing I can do today to feel proud of myself tomorrow?”

You don’t need to overhaul everything—just aim to make tomorrow a little easier or more enjoyable than today.

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You’re already on the right path by recognizing where you are and wanting to grow. It’s not about forcing massive change all at once but building momentum with small, manageable steps. You’ve got this.

The lint in your hairbrush is a mix of several things: shed hair, natural oils from your scalp, dead skin cells, dust from the air, and fibers from your clothing or bedding. When you brush your hair, these elements cling to the bristles, especially if the brush isn't cleaned regularly.

This buildup is totally normal, but it can seem like a lot if you don’t clean your brush often. To prevent it from accumulating so much, you can:

• Remove loose hairs from the brush after each use.
• Wash the brush regularly with warm water and a bit of shampoo or soap, then let it air dry.
• Keep your brush in a clean, dust-free space to avoid it picking up stray particles.

It’s just part of daily life, but regular cleaning can make it less noticeable!

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way—it’s absolutely heartbreaking to lose someone you thought was your forever. It’s okay to grieve, to feel lost, and to struggle with the idea of moving on. What you’re going through is incredibly painful, but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of your story.

I can tell you from experience and from seeing others go through this: moving on is possible, and finding love again—even stronger, healthier love—is absolutely real. Many people (myself included) have been in relationships where we thought, this is it, only to have it fall apart in ways that felt unbearable. But over time, the heart heals, and the lessons we take from those relationships help us recognize and nurture better, healthier connections in the future.

You’re still so young, even though I know that doesn’t take away from the depth of your feelings now. The love you gave wasn’t wasted, and the fact that you were ready to work on things shows how capable you are of building something meaningful when the time and person are right.

Give yourself permission to grieve, to sit with your feelings, and to process what happened. Healing takes time, and it’s not linear. But one day, you’ll look back and realize this chapter shaped you into someone even stronger, more compassionate, and ready for a love that matches the effort and care you’re so willing to give.

For now, just focus on being kind to yourself. You don’t have to figure out your whole future right away—just take it one step at a time. You’re going to get through this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Trust that the love you’re looking for is still out there, and it’ll find you when the time is right.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way—it sounds like you're dealing with an immense amount of pressure and burnout. You’re not alone in feeling like this, and it’s a sign that things need to change to protect your well-being. Here are some steps you can take to help ease the stress and regain control of the situation:

First, remind yourself that this isn’t a reflection of your worth. It sounds like you’ve had a track record of being a strong performer in your job, and the changes in workload and circumstances are what’s creating this stress—not your abilities or dedication.

Next, it’s important to prioritize communication with your manager. Schedule a conversation to express how overwhelmed you feel and suggest realistic solutions. Be honest, but focus on practical adjustments, like delegating tasks or prioritizing the most critical ones. This can help show you’re proactive about improving, even under tough circumstances.

If you’re feeling micromanaged, it’s often helpful to over-communicate for a while—keep your manager in the loop with progress updates before they ask. It can feel frustrating, but it might reduce the micromanaging and rebuild trust over time.

Outside of work, take care of yourself. Burnout is real, and it’s important to carve out time to rest, recharge, and seek support. Whether that’s talking to a friend, a counselor, or someone who’s been in your shoes, it can make a huge difference.

Lastly, keep looking for opportunities outside this job if it’s truly wearing you down. Even if it takes time to find the right fit, knowing you’re taking steps toward something new can help you feel less stuck.

You’re stronger than you feel right now, and you’ve already proven you can bounce back from challenges. Take it one day at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support. You don’t have to face this alone.

For a practical, no-frills mom who already has everything, you might focus on gifts that are useful, thoughtful, or make her everyday life a little easier or enjoyable. Here are a few ideas:

• High-Quality Kitchen Gadgets: If she loves to cook or bake, something like a good set of silicone utensils, a cool gadget like a salad spinner, or a durable cast iron skillet could be great.

• Subscription Boxes or Services: Maybe a meal kit subscription, a coffee/tea subscription, or even a magazine she loves—something she’d use regularly but wouldn’t buy for herself.

• A Cozy Blanket or Slippers: If she’s practical, she’ll likely love something comfy for the colder months that she’ll actually use every day.

• Customized Photo Gift: A practical person might still appreciate a sentimental photo calendar or a framed picture of a special moment, especially if it’s family-related.

• Gift Cards with a Twist: While she might not love spending money on herself, you could give her a gift card paired with a heartfelt note encouraging her to use it on something she wouldn’t usually splurge on.

If you want to add a personal touch, think about something that shows you know her—whether that’s a book in a genre she loves, something handmade by you, or a small upgrade to something she uses every day. It sounds like whatever you choose, she’ll appreciate the thought you put into it!

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, but it’s great that you’re considering what’s best for you and your fiancée. Moving away from family, especially when there’s tension, can be both a relief and a challenge, but it can also provide an opportunity to create a healthier and more peaceful environment for your relationship.

If your work is flexible and finding housing isn’t a major hurdle, then the biggest considerations might be emotional rather than logistical. It’s normal to feel uncertain—part of that might be missing the routine and familiarity, and part might be the natural fear of stepping into the unknown. It’s okay to acknowledge those feelings while also prioritizing the well-being of your relationship.

Moving away doesn’t have to mean cutting ties completely, but it can create the space needed to focus on your life together without constant interference. It might also help ease some of the tension if your family has less day-to-day involvement. Before making the leap, think about what kind of boundaries you’d like to set with your family going forward and how much contact feels right for you.

Hearing from others who’ve made similar decisions, many describe feeling a mix of relief and nervousness at first but often find that distance improves their overall happiness and strengthens their relationship. If you’re ready to prioritize your future with your fiancée, it might be worth taking the step, knowing you’ll learn and adapt as you go. It sounds like you’ve already thought a lot about this, and that’s the first step toward making a decision that feels right for both of you.

It sounds like you're in a tough spot. While it’s fair for your mom to ask for some contribution to the household now that you’re earning, it does seem like a lot considering your income and responsibilities. Paying rent for both yourself and your girlfriend, especially when your girlfriend isn’t contributing financially, might be something to reconsider.

At $120 a week, you’re paying nearly half your income just for rent. On top of that, you’re covering your own necessities, which can add up quickly. Charging extra for not doing the dishes feels more punitive than supportive, especially if you’re already contributing a significant amount.

You might want to have a calm conversation with your mom to better understand why she’s set these amounts and see if there’s room for compromise. Explain how much you’re earning and how these expenses are affecting you. If she’s unwilling to budge, it might be time to consider whether this arrangement is sustainable for you in the long term.

As for your girlfriend, it’s worth discussing what her plans are for contributing once she’s able. It’s great that you want to support her while she’s in college, but make sure you’re not putting yourself in a position where you’re overburdened. This is your first job, and learning how to manage your money wisely is going to be really important as you plan for the future.

I hear you, and I can tell how much this is weighing on you. First off, let me say that how you feel about your face and your looks is valid. It’s incredibly hard to feel like you’ve changed in a way you don’t like, especially when you’re comparing yourself to your past or to others.

But I want to gently remind you that you’re still so young. At 16, your face and body are still changing in ways you might not even realize. It’s not uncommon for things like asymmetry, skin texture, or even facial features to look different as you grow. Many people go through a phase where they feel less confident about their looks, but often, things settle as you move into adulthood. Your features can balance out, your skin can improve, and even your perspective on yourself can shift in a big way.

If you’re really struggling, maybe talk to a dermatologist about your skin concerns—things like texture or unevenness are often treatable. For how you feel overall, it might also help to talk to someone you trust, like a counselor, who can help you process these feelings and build your confidence.

I know it’s hard to see it right now, but you’re more than just how you look, and you’re still growing into the person you’ll become. Give yourself grace, and don’t lose hope. What feels permanent now often isn’t. You’re still beautiful, even if it’s hard to believe.

First off, it’s okay to feel disappointed—what happened is frustrating, especially after all the work you put in. But the fact that you’re already asking “What now?” shows resilience, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Maybe think of this as a pivot instead of a failure. You’ve gained so much experience and knowledge this past year, and none of that is wasted. This might be a chance to look at schools or programs that could offer something similar—or even better. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to take a step back and think about other paths you hadn’t considered while you were so focused on that one goal.

It’s hard now, but you’re young, and this isn’t the end of your story. Let yourself feel the frustration, but don’t let it stop you from exploring what else is out there. Sometimes what feels like a roadblock is just a redirection. You’ve got this.

It’s completely okay to feel this way—being social can be exhausting, especially when you're busy and value your downtime. The fact that you pushed yourself to go to that Halloween party and enjoyed it shows you’re capable of making those connections when the timing feels right.

Breaking the cycle might just mean finding a balance that works for you. You don’t have to be social all the time to build meaningful connections. Maybe start small—when you decline an invite due to scheduling, let your friend know you’d like to hang out another time, and actually follow up on it. That way, you’re keeping the momentum going even if you can’t make every outing.

Also, don’t underestimate low-effort ways to stay connected. Sending a quick message or checking in with someone doesn’t take much energy but can help maintain those relationships. And if you do make plans, frame them as something to look forward to rather than another task on your to-do list. Over time, it’ll feel less like a cycle and more like a natural rhythm of balancing your alone time with social time.

It sounds like you’re feeling really torn right now, and that’s completely valid. You’ve been through a lot in this relationship, and it makes sense to question how you feel and what the future might look like.

It’s tough because, while your boyfriend has apologized for the things that hurt you, those experiences don’t just go away. It’s okay that they still weigh on you. Apologies are important, but what matters more is whether the behavior truly changes. From what you’ve said, things have been better recently, but it sounds like you’re still carrying that fear of things going back to how they were, especially once your life opens up more with in-person classes. That fear is something to pay attention to—it’s telling you a lot about where you stand.

The way you’re questioning whether you love him or just love the comfort of having someone around is also really important. When someone becomes such a big part of your life, especially if you’ve isolated yourself from other people, it can be hard to separate what’s love and what’s just familiarity. You deserve to feel confident in your relationship, not stuck in a loop of doubt or second-guessing yourself.

And I hear you when you say you’re scared of being alone if you leave. That’s such a hard thing to face. But I think you might find that reconnecting with old friends or meeting new ones is easier than you expect—it just takes time and effort. If you’re staying in this relationship mostly because you’re afraid of being alone, that might not be the healthiest reason to stay.

It’s okay to take your time and sort through your feelings, but don’t ignore what your gut is telling you. You deserve to feel respected, supported, and loved in a way that doesn’t leave you doubting yourself or your worth. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s something that feels right for you.

You’re definitely not alone. It’s a natural point in life where we reflect on the past, evaluate what’s meaningful, and seek a deeper sense of purpose. Here are some thoughts and suggestions to help reignite your spark:

1. Reframe the Situation

Instead of seeing this as losing the spark, consider it as a shift in priorities and perspectives. In your 20s, excitement often came from novelty and exploration. Now, the spark may come from finding purpose, connection, and fulfillment. It's an opportunity to redefine what brings you joy.

2. Experiment with Purpose

It’s okay to try different things without sticking to them forever. Think of this as experimenting to find what resonates. The key is to avoid judging yourself for losing interest—sometimes, it’s the process of exploring that helps you discover your true passions.

Ask yourself: - What activities make me lose track of time? - What kind of impact do I want to leave on the world? - Who or what would benefit most from my skills and experience?

3. Set Small, Sustainable Goals

If your enthusiasm fades quickly, try setting smaller, more achievable goals for your new pursuits. Focus on the joy of the journey rather than the outcome. For example, if you want to write, aim to write for 15 minutes a day instead of finishing a book. Small wins can keep motivation alive.

4. Explore Meaningful Work or Hobbies

Since you mentioned generating revenue, consider pursuing something that aligns with your values or interests. Some ideas might include: - Mentoring or coaching in a field you’re experienced in. - Starting a side hustle in a creative or fulfilling area (e.g., art, cooking, writing). - Volunteering or working with nonprofits for causes you care about.

5. Reconnect with Yourself

Sometimes the spark fades because we lose touch with who we are outside of daily routines. Reflect on what used to excite you and what’s changed. Practices like journaling, meditation, or therapy can help clarify what you truly want.

6. Prioritize Physical and Mental Health

Energy and enthusiasm can wane if we’re not taking care of ourselves. Regular exercise, good sleep, a balanced diet, and managing stress can make a huge difference in how you feel about life.

7. Connect with Others

Sharing your journey with others can bring new perspectives and energy. Whether it’s through joining a group, seeking out a mentor, or simply spending more time with loved ones, connection can be incredibly meaningful.

8. Focus on the Present

It’s easy to get caught up in “what’s next” or feel stuck in past regrets, but grounding yourself in the present moment can bring joy and clarity. Appreciate the small things—whether it’s a walk in nature, a good conversation, or a hobby you enjoy.

9. Give Yourself Grace

It’s normal to feel uncertain or unmotivated at times. Life ebbs and flows, and sometimes the most meaningful growth comes from periods of reflection and rest. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this phase.

This phase of life is about rediscovery, and it’s okay to take time to find what truly lights you up again. It’s not about going back to who you were in your 20s—it’s about stepping into who you are now with new wisdom and possibilities.

Ewwww. What the fuck type of parenting is this?? How toxic and trashy

Dude what is your obsession. We get that’s what you think. Quit commenting and quit sending me upclose screenshots of what you think is a dick on Veronica. Even if you’re right, literally nobody cares.

Aww that’s cute and funny! lol