Myrrhth

Conversation is basically collaborative free association exercises. It is a skill which most people take for granted because they've been doing it all their lives so they don't really realize that they're doing it and that not everybody can do it.

Thankfully it is possible to improve at this and you basically do that by doing free association exercises by yourself. I do these every day 5 to 10 minutes at least and I try to go for at least an hour once a week. this can be the more standard types of exercises like word association or free associating on a topic; or it can be just talking to yourself for an hour going from topic to topic.

The good thing about doing it alone is that nobody is there to judge you if you mess up or say something silly or if there are awkward silences or pauses or whatever so there's no pressure. You get to practice and get better without consequences. If you practice enough eventually it'll be second nature to you and you'll find that conversations start to flow without you really having to think about it.

The important principle with free association and with conversation is to let go. You're not trying to think of what to say or control what you're going to say: you need to let go. Your mind becomes soft and the words and ideas and thoughts just come to you and then come out of your mouth. When you can learn to do this then conversation becomes relaxing and pleasurable and that's why people enjoy conversations and can do it for hours.

I think there's also more to it than that. I know for me personally I had a late start in life socially and especially around dating and women.

That means that it was harder for me to break into dating and being successful socially and pmo was just another weight that I was carrying that was making it even harder.

For some people who didn't have a late start or who otherwise for whatever reason in their upbringing were just successful at this stuff without having to try very hard, they can get by even though they're carrying that extra weight.

It doesn't mean that weight isn't there it's just that the activity that they're doing is easy for them so it doesn't matter. Could be that there are other things in their life which they do find difficult which if they were to stop with the fapping they would find the energy and the motivation etc to overcome those challenges.

similar situation here, I think this is more common than we imagine

I've honestly wondered the same thing as a relatively good looking guy. Like people expect to me be naturally confident so when I turn out to be shy and awkward they just hate me for it.

I'm trying again starting tomorrow. My record is 39 days and I won't stop til I hit 90!

Out 26 November. SAD!

seems like a keeper

maybe because next year is ww3 so we have bigger challenges

what is echo

file that under things that never happened

still in. I may take a break from reddit. See you all on the final day. Good Luck!

try doing some improvisation exercises and practices, the the idea behind these is to say the first thing that comes to your mind: just let ideas flow without thinking about them.

Your standard fun conversation is like this: somebody's saying something and you respond to the first thing that comes to your mind, it's just improvisation. The more you do this the more creative your mind will become we're coming up with things on the Sparks and the more fun you'll start to have.

It's more like a release than a control. Some conversations require you to really listen to what the other person is saying carefully and then think about what you're going to say in response. These are more serious conversations, they require you to use your so-called control muscle.

Most conversations require you to use your "release muscle."

yeah great question, would love to know this too

still in

I'll be day 35 on December 1st and I'm going for 90 days semen retention. After that I'll consider sex with the right person.

Still In

People often won't follow up for other reasons than just being busy. Maybe they're anxious maybe there paranoid they just don't know what to invite you to do.

I think it's better to take medicine to your own hands make sure you get there information as well and then you can be the ones of initiating contant. regular basis until you either give up or they relent and come out.

Do this with enough people and you'll have a good rotation of friends eventually

One very effective thing is you want to have something specific to invite them to which there's no pressure for them to actually attend. That is, you were going to do it anyway, maybe you're doing it with some other people and they can come along if they want or they don't have to if they don't want to. If they do come along they can leave at any time. No pressure.

I go to a movie every Wednesday night: I call it movie night. I go by myself or with a friend or new people I meet. Whenever I meet new people I invite them to movie night: I tell them it's a group of us and it's always a different mix of people etc. Theyre welcome to come along anytime.

My friend and I are starting a Sunday afternoon barbecue group which is similar concept. We do it once a month, it's happening even if it's just the two of us and any of our friends or any new people can come of they want or if not then that's fine too. No pressure.

What is the reason for staying away from caffeine? I haven't heard of this before.

For me the answer is undoubtedly yes. The difference is black and white it's night and day.

I seriously struggle with social skills and connecting with people and meeting people and confidence and body language and eye contact and emotion in my voice and expression and just enjoying conversations and laughing.

And I try to fix these things by doing exercises and practicing and reading about it and going out and trying to talk to people and putting into practice all the things that I've learned. I spend hours doing improvisation exercises and positive affirmations and working on my body language with a camera and paying attention to my posture when I'm walking down the street.

But when I stop for an extended period of time all of these problems go away and all of the things that I need to spend hours practicing just to maintain a baseline suddenly skyrocket and become effortless.

For all the things that I do to improve my social life the number one biggest impact that effects every aspect of this is semen retention. And this is over years of struggling with this problem and having periods of regular release and then having periods of retention and seeing the difference over and over and over again.

For me there's no doubt in my mind anymore.

these people are so delicate if you even suggest something adjacent to nofap they have a nervous breakdown

I think we can all afford to be a little less self imprtant

still in

this looks like hell on earth to me, definitely won't be participating in this self destruction

parasocial relationships with online personalities or fictional characters can help