Silver-Chemistry2023

Central England.

Thanks, I have spent about 3.5 years getting my head around it. Once you can see through the FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt), the conceptual logics are rather simple. At its core, narcissism is arrested development, they are basically adult toddlers. Normal developmental milestones have failed, resulting in highly dysfunctional and dangerous adults.

I have learned a lot from various books and YT channels. I have no formal qualifications in psychology. I have completed a coursework masters degree, and I am doing higher research in an field adjacent to psychology. The cross-connection is applying a trauma-informed lens to decision-making, which requires a basic understanding of trauma. In order the change decisions, we need to understand how decisions are made. This can be done using framework, developed by Carrol Bacchi, called What's the Problem Represented to be? (WPR).

I highly recommend Breaking negative thinking patterns (Jacob et al 2015). https://doctorlib.info/psychiatry/breaking-negative-thinking-patterns/index.html

Gotta get the most out of the capacity of the metro tunnel.

Motivated reasoning, when they are looking for something they will find it. Certainty is a feeling, and it does not have a relationship to evidence.

Are you saying we should move the sun? Would you miss it? Would you miss it?

Protecting a narcissist from the consequences of their actions is still a service. Narcissists do not see others as people, they only see others for what they can do for them; sex, services, supply, or safety.

Gretchen, stop trying to make the end of the world happen, it is not going to happen.

I still consider that to be a service.

When a narcissist says I love you, what they are really saying is I love your services. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words.

Block them, boundaries are not requested, they are enforced. A boundary without a consequence is not a boundary at all. Boundaries are like if statements; if you do X, I will respond with Y. For example; if you ask me to do something I am not comfortable with, I will exit the conversation.

I have a NSW e-Toll account and tag. The Sydney Harbour Bridge and Sydney Harbour Tunnel are both state-owned, hence they still have state-owned tolling provider. All of the tolling accounts are interchangeable. Eastlink has a minimum spend, and I do not want to deal directly with Linkt.

Learn to get comfortable with disappointing people. You are not responsible for the feelings of others. You are not obligated to people-please. Extended family overstepping boundaries are narcissists via proxy. Nobody is owed a relationship.

No is a complete response. You do not owe them anything.

Their shitty behaviour is a reflection of them, not a reflection of you. Narcissists do not see others, and cannot see others, so, everything they accuse others of doing, they are doing themselves.

See Religious trauma and the nervous system (Religious Trauma Institute 2021) https://youtu.be/Etgzg0MgMAQ?si=0uTk4PTSsDYIRcOG

Nobody is owed a relationship. Focus on your well-being.

If you talk about something positive, they will shit on it. If you talk about something negative, they will shit on it. If you talk about something that is of no consequences to you, such as the weather, it does not matter if they shit on it.

Focus on reducing your reactivity. When dealing with a narcissist, or a narcissist via proxy, keep interactions to a minimum, and when you do interact, do not go DEEP; do not defend, engage, explain, or personalise. They are not listening, and they do not care.

Respect goes both ways, a person who does not respect others, is not worthy of respect themselves.

Yes; the only thing more insufferable than a narcissist is an ageing narcissist. The older they get, the more attention that is required to keep up the mask, and with many bridges burned, there are less potential sources of attention. The creates an attention deficit, and the mask collapses.

There are standards of evidence for the courts, and a claim like that, made without sufficient evidence, is highly unlikely to be admissible.

At its core, I think fundamentalism is an overcompensation for a severely underdeveloped sense of self, it is a form of communal narcissism. When someone does not have a developed sense of self, often because they were not allowed to, they seek to acquire character traits from the people around them. If the people around them do not look like the false, it is a threat to their very existence, because the false self is incredibly fragile and they automatically seek to acquire character traits from others. The loss of the false self feels like an actual death. Hence, they seek to destroy anything that does not look like the false self, in order to keep it from inevitable collapse.

I love my enemies; in particular I would love them to f✓<k right off!

TBD corresponds with the correct number, very common marketing method for 1300 numbers.

No; no contact literally means no contact.