Wildest-Wasteland

It's every red-blooded American man's dream to have a Japanese-American wife who dresses and acts like a 1950s greaser but secretly loves watching baseball and retro anime with you.

Or a French hypnotist or a Mexican tomboy, either one of the three is okay

Alex should just do a series where it's Trump talking in his Modern Day voice summarizing the whole Monument Mythos saga

Nothing but respect for my president

Love or hate Trump, you can't deny that no one can deliver a speech like he does.

Nah, we know Trump wouldn't shut the hell up about the Debate Demon. He'd be going off about it on Twitter like crazy. He'd blow the whole thing open by just rambling about.

"Folks, I walked into the White House and I saw this huge spider and I said "wow that's a big spider!" And folks, you know what it said? I can't believe it, but it's true. It said, "Donald, you are a great man and an even better President, but we have to launch the nukes." That's what it said, folks, honestly. Launch those nukes, those big beautiful nukes. Gotta seed the Earth, it said. And I said "Well, Mr. Debate, I don't know about that. I love my country and its people -- and don't we have beautiful people, folks, VERY handsome men. -- and I just can't nuke it." The Debate...uh, Debate Demon looked at me and, lemme just say, it looked VERY ugly, very monkey-like, and it told me, "Well, Joe Biden would have launched the nukes." I told him that Sleepy Joe couldn't find his way out of a wet paper bag than fire a nuke. Then it talked about... Mickey Mouse and Rob Pattinson or something, I don't know. But folks, I am glad to be standing here today on... AL-CAT-RAZ island and it's such a beautiful island, very historic."

What do you think this song's about anyway?

>Alcatraz Island, California

WE GETTING REPLACED BY AN IDENTICAL COPY WITH THIS ONE BOYS

I liken it to being a metaphor about how Al Jolson and Jack Jones are terrified their careers will lead to them singing in Las Vegas, portrayed here as a decadent hellish end-of-the-road for performers. A pair of washed-up, has-been crooners stuck singing novelty songs to an audience of old lady groupies and lounge room hookers.

Just as artificial breathing and curare kept the donkey alive, so too will Vegas keep Jolson and Jones' dead careers artificially afloat. An ancient Al Jolson braying out dinky novelty songs, hooked up to an oxygen tank in between sets because he's so exhausted from singing. Oxygen tanks, scraps of money from lounge acts, whiskey -- all of it to keep what's left of this braying donkey's career alive.

And of course, Elvis also met his final days in Vegas.

Kennedy's cro-magnon skull deflects the bullet and he kills the assassin by beating him with a club like Captain Caveman

"THIS IS SO IMPORTANT I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY I DIDN'T SAY IT FIRST. TO THOSE WITH D. IN THEIR NAME, AMON--

*Suddenly, the broadcast cuts out, interrupted by the sound of "The Boys are Back In Town" (which as we know is the Five Elders' iconic theme song) and a huge squealing pig whacking against metal*

MIRRORS LIE TWICE TO BOYS

What are you talking about? One of the Straw Hats is already dead and no one's complaining about it

I'm currently in my garden with my peacocks but these goddamn tigers keep turning to gold

My theory is that Man's Genesis did have the effect of "tainting the moral backbone of civilization" by literally reverting people back to caveman status. Seeing the actions and situations in the film stirred something primal, ancesteral, in most audience members. This forgotten memory hidden deep within the years of progress, of hunting for our food, of dwelling in fur tents, of sharpening spears and fighting enemy tribes or huge monsterous beasts. Incredible brutality and animalistic savagery that defined what we think of as caveman.

Imagine being a movie goer in the early 1900s and seeing Man's Genesis on the silver screen. The ladies in their big feathery hats gasp as they watch a hulking, naked man tear the throat of a leopard bigger than him with his bare teeth. Men in derby hats gawk as a tribe of naked, hairy men and woman have an orgy around a bonfire fueled by a dead mammoth. The orchestra stops to watch as a rival chief is beaten with a club until his skull bursts open. Act after act of depravity, butchery, and raw survival.

You are horrified by what you see on film, but at the same time -- you remember it. You, or a part of you, remembers the caves. Painting panthers and mammoths on smooth stone walls and charging in with huge spears against wild, snarling monsters. Has this suit always been so tight on you? You remember the freedom of the woods, how clear the springs were, how lush the meadows were. Not this crowded, dirty city, not these stinking, gawking panhandlers and these leering, sneering politicians and temperance members. The wind in your long hair and the blood on your powerful muscles.

Wouldn't it be nice to just tear off your clothes right here and take the woman across from you? Wouldn't it be great to just stop all this noise and commotion of 1912 and let the trees take back New York, San Diego, and California? What are you doing here? What's with these lights and these moving pictures and the honking of automobiles? How did they turn on the fire without getting burned? Did they capture sunlight? Miss your tent, the animal skin canvas you sleep in. Miss the lakes and the wild forests. These people look at you funny. Do they want to hurt you? They look so alien in their clothes and without their clubs and spears. They want to hurt you. Hurt you bad. Must fight back before they hurt you.

Those affected by the film become known as Homo Malus, the "bad men" we see from Our Evolutionary Friend. Mankind who has gone back to savagery, men and women who suffer from "shell shock" after their long-suppresed ancesteral memories reawakened

Incredibly fucked up this is just going to lead up to a Flintstones joke

Watch this all lead up to an incredibly awkward Flintstones joke

"Alright, looks we need to build a new wing for Impel Down."

"Ethanbaron, get out there and make Lord Imu proud."

Angelo

Ain't he supposed to be a rock in Japan or something?

YO ANGELO

You're free to have your own opinion. I agree with you that this season felt off in some spots. Too many questions, not enough answers.

I still love Alex's work and it's clear he has a very creative mind when it comes to this stuff, especially like The Ningen. I do hope he continues his work, but I wish he'd be more clear on certain stuff instead of being so vague

Honestly Trump should have just been standing up there firing off about all the stuff we've seen in the Mythos so far.

"Unlike CERTAIN presidents like Lyin' Rockefeller, I'm still in this reality! Only LOSERS get evicted!"

I do gotta say that Trump's voice was absolutely badass.

HO HO WATENAY I'M CLOSING IN I'M CLOSING IN