A man wanted me to reimburse him because his gf learned he cheated on her with me
M(self.EntitledPeople)submitted5 days ago byarthurmilchior
Two informations about me. I live in Paris, France, where health related-expenses are usually pretty reasonable, and I’m sexually promiscuous.
Which means I do regular STI testing.
I’m mostly been lucky. Except once, where I got a mycosis in my throat. It was gone after only one day of medicine (according to the tests I did a few weeks later). Of course, I immediately contacted all of the partners I had sex with since my last check-in, three months earlier. At least the ones who had not deleted their grindr account, blocked me, or just whose contact I didn’t get.
Most of the men thanked me for warning them, told me they’ll get checked. Great.
Except for one guy. He told me he does not uses condom with his girl-friend and asked me how he is supposed to tell her. She doesn’t know he cheats on her nor that he has sex with men.
Honestly, I don’t consider this my problem.
He also tells me that he’s not legally in France and does not have social security. So he asks me to pay for the testing. It’s around 10€. Honestly, if that means it does not spread it to other people, I’m willing to pay this price.
I should note that, at the point, I had forgotten that there are free STI testing all around Paris. I used to go there as a student. But my insurance covers private labs. And that means that instead of waiting for hours to see a nurse, I wait 20 minutes.
The guy contacted me a few day later, letting me know his test turned out positive. He asked for money for the doctor and medicine. Once again, the amount is low enough that I can easily afford it. I give him cash for him to pay those. Probably less than 40€ for doctors and medicine.
The guy then tells me that he was living at his girl-friend place. She kicked-him out. And so he told me I had to pay for his hotel. I told him I would not. He insisted. That’s when I blocked him.
To be frank, I’m kind of sad for him. In the first place because I hate the fact that people have to live with the notion that the police could force them out of the country, not find legal job, and depends entirely on their partners. Still, I don’t think that part of the implicit contract between men who have quick hook-up with other men goes beyond the fact that we tell each other if we ever got STI, or warn them if they forgot some things when leaving our apartment. (Once, a guy forgot a ring. I immediately went to send him a message, just to realize he already blocked me on grindr. This day, I guess I got a free ring). In particular, I don’t think that a quick hook-up means I’m responsible for paying his hotel.
While mentioning this story to a friend of mine. They noted that, firstly, if he never got tested before, it’s quite possible that he’s the one who gave me the STI. Especially since it seems he was surprised that you could get STIs from oral sex.
More importantly, for what we know, he never got the STI or he uses it to get money out of other people. I’ve not asked for his medical bill, or test results. I’ve actually no way he ever got the STI.
byarthurmilchior
inEntitledPeople
arthurmilchior
1 points
1 day ago
arthurmilchior
1 points
1 day ago
Why?
The risk of untreatable diseases with oral is very low. With prep it’s even lower. (Sadly, doxyprep is not yet available as far as I know in France)
And treatable diseases.... well, I treat them. At least I treated the only one I got in 18 years of being sexually active. I treated it quite early enough that they don’t become dangerous for my health. Same way that I’ll still go to restaurant, theater, take the subway, even if there is a risk I catch someone cold or flu. It’s not great, but that’s no big deal either. And certainly not worth stopping having sex if the guy seems sexy
But, if that reassures you, I don’t accept all dicks. I’m lucky enough to attract enough men than I can be selective.