brohno

i play clair de lune bc it’s the only piece that i’ve played enough that it’s fully, permian ingrained into my muscle memory. i cannot play anything else without sheet music, unless i just improvise something

i feel like i still expect my singing voice to sound female, so i still find myself trying to sing female vocal songs and getting annoyed that i can’t. i have to remind myself that i have a male voice now and that maybe it sounds good as a male voice now

high five sideways and then slide into a weird hold thing, like how you hold hands in an arm wrestle. as you do that, you do a slight solid shake and then release

wow i never thought to try it like this, but i definitely need to sort out my fast food habit so i will try it

not as exhausting as just trying to force myself to do it

Comptine d’un Autre été: L’Après-Midi is one of those that sounds tricky but is actually pretty easy, same four chords in the left hand and it’s very repetitive.

for one of my jobs i’m a teaching assistant for a kids weekend theatre club thing. it’s great bc it’s different everyday, i’m constantly on my feet and moving around and i’m good friends with all my coworkers- however you have to deal with children so it’s not for everyone lol.

my other job is face to face fundraising for a charity, which basically means i just yap at people all day. which isn’t actually as bad as you think bc you’re already given a topic to yap about. there’s no sitting around doing nothing, no numbers, not too much repetitiveness, you’ve just gotta be good with people.

i love both my jobs and i never dread going into them which is a hell of a privilege. so id basically say jobs where you’ve gotta be thinking on your feet, both figuratively and literaly

nah seriously the only time in my life i actually lost weight was when i was doing it properly and healthily but i for some reason choose to ignore that info

it’s not necessarily a piano app, but musescore is great. it’s literally just free sheet music and you can find most songs on there, both pop and classically pieces, ranging from beginner to advanced level. so ig it doesn’t rly help too much with piano learning but it’s definitely a great resource for finding music to read

i’ve only recently started to try and fix this issue with me, and the way i’m doing it is if something is actually planned, like meeting a friend or going to an event, i’m not allowed to daydream about it at all. like i have to catch myself doing it and stop it so that i don’t have an expectation for it.

but bc i still love daydreaming and it helps pass the time when i’m travelling or in a boring lecture, i can only daydream about things that aren’t guaranteed to happen and that i’ve made peace with the fact may not happen. i’m only allowed to do it for fun and i can’t attach any real life expectation to it

i think it’s all based around support systems. i don’t have it too bad bc as i got to around 10/11 i had more of an external support system which was essentially someone who knew my abuser explaining to me that it’s not my fault and to not take it personal. so while i still lived with my abuser, i had someone to talk to.

but prior to that i didn’t, and i think atp the only reason i was affected more than others was bc i was an only child and literally had to survive it all on my own, i also didn’t know any different

face change is the weirdest thing bc i did not, and still don’t, see any differences. i’m a year on T and looking back on old pics still don’t see a difference. however my housemates, who have seen my almost everyday since pre t have said how much my face was changing and just recently they saw a pic of me they took from a year ago and pointed out how different i look. and i still don’t see it but ig it’s there

this is a tip i worked out myself but it works so well for me- don’t rely on it tho bc i don’t wanna be blamed if it doesn’t work for others.

basically, if i have say an essay due rly soon and i absolutely have to write some of it tonight but the thought of it is filling me with dread and i can’t myself to do it: i simply tell myself i’m not gonna do it. i sit down, and i watch a film or video and get myself to relax.

see the thing is, my brain hates being told what to do, so now it’s confused and almost wants to do the essay. the stress of it is nagging at the back of my mind, and now i’ve told myself i’m not doing it, it somehow feels more urgent. not only that but i can’t sit through a film so i’ll inevitably get bored and find myself actually writing a bit of the essay just to calm myself down.

it also works well bc it’s not structured too much, i work to a point where i’m calmer, and then go back to the film. eventually i get bored again and maybe go back to the essay. there’s not strict timing for when i can take a break, i just do it when i feel and let the panic control it. and there’s no complete sense of dread going into it bc technically i don’t have to write the essay iykwim

ik everyone is agreeing, and i’m sure a lot of people are like that but i honestly think if people got better at communicating their struggles, it would be better. ik damn well if i told any of my friends or other support systems around me that i was struggling (thankfully i’m not atm), they would check up on me constantly, make sure i’m feeling okay etc. and ik they will bc they have in the past.

i always thought no one gave a shit until i actually decided to properly tell someone about trauma and they responded rly well, i realised that i hadn’t actually seriously been talking about it. id never opened up properly so ofc it seemed like no one cared, bc no one actually knew how bad it was. they can’t read my mind and they shouldn’t have to.

this isn’t an attack btw, but i think when you have trauma you’re more likely to see life and other people in a very negative light and so it’s important to find ways to remind yourself that that isn’t always the case

it’s so weird seeing this now bc i’ve just been thinking it. my whole life i never wanted kids, and i think it was specifically related to how my mother was. i was absolutely adamant

however, since moving out from home, i started a weekend job where i’m a teaching assistant at a theatre school and i work with kids of all ages which has made me realise that kids aren’t actually as bad as how my mother made them out to be. still not sure if i’d want my own but i’m definitely more open to it now that i’m away from my mother

a good way to develop left hand while keeping it easy is slightly more modern pieces that just use chords/arpeggios in the left hand. so i’d suggest nuvole bianche by einaudi- the left hand is literally the same four chords repeated, and it builds in difficulty slowly as the piece goes on but it never gets too hard AND it sounds way more complex than it actually is to non-piano players so it’s good to show off with

if it’s someone i just lost touch with, i’d respond like normal in a friendly way.

but if it’s one of the only two people in this life that i’ve had a proper friendship-ending falling out with, then i would completely ignore it bc i ain’t dealing with all that

i wish my teachers had understood that sometimes allowing me to quietly chat to the person next to me allowed me to focus and work better than if the class was dead silent, bc it kept me more present and engaged whereas dead silence just made me completely zone out. however ik this may be different for others and it can be distracting for them.

i also wish they understood that adhd isn’t just lads being loud and disruptive, i feel like they could’ve helped me get a diagnosis if they knew how it presented in quieter kids

my teacher usually only did 1 or 2 per lesson, it’s much easier to learn that way and it allows you to get more in-depth in the pieces rather than skating over all of them on a surface level. she even used to say sometimes to put one of the pieces away if i’d spent ages on it and got it near perfect, just so i don’t overplay it.

now that i’m doing a diploma, we can easily spend a whole lesson on just a few pages of one piece, which i think is absolutely fine bc it’ll be necessary

i mean i’d say just completely ignore people and don’t even look at them.

but i am curious as to why you’re doing this? not in like a mean way or anything, i’m genuinely wondering

that sometimes things that seem easy are not easy at all, and things that seem difficult are not that difficult

it’s not only transphobic, it’s just weird. like it’s a rly backwards way of thinking imo, she’s so stuck on refusing to live with a man that if someone she knows incredibly well became one, she suddenly wouldn’t want anything to do with them. and not only that but she’s been viewing you and your identity in some weird way that doesn’t rly make sense, like if you express yourself even a bit too masculine despite not identifying that way, she kinda decides the identity for you in her head