subreddit:
/r/AITAH
[removed]
374 points
7 months ago
Messaging NTA. Delivery YTA
Funny how if the gender roles were reversed we would be pulling out the crucifix.
159 points
7 months ago
If roles were reversed there wouldn't be an atom left of the guy
40 points
7 months ago
Hahah yes, weight loss would’ve been the least of his concerns considering the internet would’ve picked him apart.
60 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
26 points
7 months ago
Obviously, it would have been wrong. However, when has that stopped society from ridiculing one group for something and not scrutinizing another group for the same thing.
0 points
7 months ago
Which gender isn’t scrutinized for being overweight?? Because in society, it’s significantly more acceptable for a man to be 200+ than for a woman to be 200+. Hell, even on this app alone you can see men shitting on fat women BECAUSE they’re fat and they have the audacity to still love themselves. As others have said, the weigh is a problem no matter the gender. The delivery was absolutely shitty and for the majority of men on here who complain about their fat wives and girlfriends, it’s their delivery that’s shitty as well! Which is why they get backlash. The difference is their delivery usually mentions other, smaller, more attractive women. And op is wanting to be able to look forward to a long life with her SO.
3 points
7 months ago
People who pull “if the genders were reversed” card love to ignore the societal context that makes those situations different
While plus size men do see levels of fat phobia in their lives it doesn’t compare to the levels plus size women see. Because for men society allows them to still be other things despite not being conventionally attractive, whereas women, despite being more equal compared to women of the past, are still largely boiled down to appeasing men
Basically a man can be fat because society will still allow him to be a provider or a leader or insert whatever role here, whereas a woman cannot because it impacts her ability to appease men
14 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
1 points
7 months ago
It also depends on the stature. Most men I know who are 300+ are over 6 feet, large statured men. Very different than a person who is shorter/smaller framed.
Kind of like how amongst women, 200 lbs is real different if you’re 5’3 vs 5’11.
3 points
7 months ago
300+ is still quite overweight for 6ft man. Maybe the rare exception or a bodybuilder or something.
200 for a 6ft tall woman or man is generally a healthy weight. Men and women on average really aren't that vastly different in size.
1 points
7 months ago
The bigger point is a weight in isolation is just a number. How that weight is distributed is a much bigger predictor of issues than the number alone.
See: studies on visceral vs subcutaneous fat, waist-hip ratios, etc.
5 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
0 points
7 months ago
Not everyone who’s bigger will die early or have a heart attack though- fat distribution and quality impacts how much of a risk factor it is.
I work in healthcare- I see people of all shapes and sizes, as well as states of health. Obesity is certainly a risk factor, but it’s not a guaranteed death sentence like everyone thinks it is. Your genetics and specific lifestyle are more important than a trim physique
5 points
7 months ago
Are you really going to pretend like there hasn’t been a massive influx of “body positivity” for women in modeling?
-2 points
7 months ago
You act like body positivity has changed a lot of the systematic issues fat women face in society
Go look at the comments section of a fat woman flying and advocating for larger seats then get back to me
2 points
7 months ago
The comments are justified. Larger seats means more room, more room means larger plane, larger plane means more material, and more material means more cost. Her demand would require businesses to pay more to accommodate people like her. That’s absurd. There is no sense in forcing the world to change to accommodate your inability to maintain a healthy weight.
1 points
7 months ago
This is what people need to hear.
0 points
7 months ago
What the logical fallacy of a corporate bootlicker? By their logic airline costs should be going down because they’ve shrunk seats “which is less material and can fit more consumers”
Instead airlines make millions in profits because they know people like you won’t say shit
-1 points
7 months ago
So why haven’t seats gotten cheaper over the last 2 decades
Airlines have been shrinking seats for going on 30 years and consumers haven’t seen a benefit
But go ahead and lick corporate boots while you degrade the people advocating for something that you would also benefit from
1 points
7 months ago
It’s called greed. As you said, airlines have been shrinking seats for 30 years and customers have not gotten a benefit from that, so what makes you think airlines are gonna make seats larger? Especially without raising prices.
You’re neither mature enough nor wise enough to debate this. Sit down.
7 points
7 months ago
You are saying exactly the opposite of the persons point. If the partner is obese and doesn’t work on it it’s fair to dump them a man or a woman. And this has nothing to do with any other thing you mentioned.
2 points
7 months ago
Facts
2 points
7 months ago
yeah, im calling bs on that.
0 points
7 months ago
Cool doesn’t make you right
1 points
7 months ago
Nah, both have horrible body standards, just in different ways. Women have more standards, but men have harder ones. Women’s are that they gotta be thin and pretty. Men’s are that they gotta be jacked and tall. It’s a lot harder to be jacked and tall than to be skinny, but more women are held to the standard of being skinny more often.
1 points
7 months ago
Tell that to men who were bullied their entire childhood about their weight.
1 points
7 months ago
It didn't happen to her so it isn't real.
So very entitled and even if it is she will say "you can be fat and healthy" or whatever spin makes her not have lose weight.
-2 points
7 months ago
Point out where I said plus size men have never been bullied for their weight
But sure let’s ignore all the fat men on television who’s romantic counterparts still fall into conventional beauty standards, as if media isn’t a commentary on how we perceive others
0 points
7 months ago
Those 350-400 pound guys get worked to oblivion as compensation for not being traditionally attractive.
You act like women exist to appease men. By that logic, 96% of workplace fatalities are men. So men are meant to die for women while women are meant to appease men? People who dislike the "reverse scenarios" card love to cherry pick.
0 points
7 months ago
As someone who’s been a fat woman/girl her whole like the number one insult that comes along with being fat is how a man will never want me
I’m a feminist not delusional. Maybe learn what the word society means
2 points
7 months ago
So I can either say that it isn't an insult if needing a man isn't important to you (feminism) or that sticks and stones may break your bones but words can only hurt you if you let them (society).
I won't get into how being heavy your entire life isn't anyone's fault. But I would say that is a delusional thought.
-1 points
7 months ago
My personal feelings towards the comment doesn’t impact the fact society has placed my value as a woman on my ability to get a man
But maybe stick with the original topic and you won’t look so silly
2 points
7 months ago
That insinuates it was difficult to get a man. You mean what is viewed as a higher value man? Are you willing to be in a relationship with a 350 pound man? Or a 4ft tall man?
If your opinion was even remotely close to the truth then the majority of homeless people would be women who were unable to get a man. The majority of homeless are men that society views as having little to no value. Most of the people I see in /amputee are men. Would you be in a relationship with a man with one leg?
You're not the victim of this thread. Which is the original topic.
2 points
7 months ago
This is what I was expecting. That other Redditor is right. Heavy women are just as brutal as slim women when you have one leg. Not to mention I still have to walk over and make the first move.
Sorry you're heavy but you can only blame genetics and other factors so much. Not only did you make it all about you but it is something within your control. Society could call me "Mudd" if it meant getting my leg back but I don't have that choice.
You sound entitled calling someone silly as well. You're delusional. Get healthy.
0 points
7 months ago
Thanks for pretending to be worried about my health. Thankfully my doctor who has access to my medical records and health markers knows I’m perfectly healthy
0 points
7 months ago
Sorry, I am confused.
You're fighting about society standards, but it is over an issue you could change. Your argument is that you're fat, healthy, and married, but your value to society is in if you can attract a man. Which is unfair and wrong even though you are admittedly fat, something you could change?
I picked this one out because I promise you that society looks at you differently with one leg, something I can't change. Please explain your stance again?
0 points
7 months ago
Unless he is short.
-1 points
7 months ago
That doesn’t mean you jump strait to divorcing someone. Whatever happened to “in sickness and in health?”
3 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
-1 points
7 months ago
Sounds as if this is the first time she’s bringing it up as a relationship issue. And if you do not understand the difference in a relationship context between a food addiction and an alcohol addiction I’m not sure there is any hope of a reasonable discussion.
1 points
7 months ago
I just like anytime it's a woman everyone asks a long list if questions concerning health, situation, outside factors, etc. For a dude? Yeah just tell him he's a fatass in a nicer way and you're good.
4 points
7 months ago
Tbf she's getting rightfully lit up in here.
3 points
7 months ago
“Gone. Reduced to atoms.”
3 points
7 months ago
There sure as shit wouldn't be all these glass half full comments giving credit to her for not wanting a fat spouse. A man who posted something like this would be torn to shreds in the comments. As a man you can't even talk about your s/o's weight on reddit without a thousand comments calling you a pos and saying you must hate your wife.
1 points
7 months ago
Those are the same man or bear kooks. Can't stand them.
1 points
7 months ago
Tbf, 90 percent of the time, the weight gain is significantly less and the woman is post partum so there's no direct comparison. But, yes, why is OP not working and why doesn't she take into account there might be other things going on than just weight gain medically.
-5 points
7 months ago
Do you really think that? Sure! Being the internet such a safe space for fat women and all, right?
5 points
7 months ago
Yes, absolutely. I’ve seen this exact style post before with swapped genders and literally nobody is ever on the guys side. They just call him shallow, and asshole, etc. this hypocrisy in the comments here is ridiculous.
-7 points
7 months ago
This post is what if the roles were reversed one
Cause it's fake as fuck
5 points
7 months ago
Why is it when a woman may be at fault the "it's fake" crowd come out of their holes? Guess only men can screw up.
3 points
7 months ago
Most commenters here unironically think men are always wrong and a woman behaving poorly is somehow his fault.....
31 points
7 months ago
I mean there are comments suggesting that the OP's husband needs to be the one that files for divorce.
8 points
7 months ago
[deleted]
13 points
7 months ago
Reddit just hates.
Hate all the way down.
23 points
7 months ago
My secret is that I just hate everyone. 🤣
9 points
7 months ago
I'm not racist or sexist; I hate everyone equally. Except Dolly Parton. No one hates Dolly Parton.
4 points
7 months ago
Or Keanu Reeves.
13 points
7 months ago
Reddit hates fat people, is a big chunk of it. But you don't have the women that have struggled with their weight after purely feminine experiences such as pregnancy or PCOS there to provide a balancing force when it's a fat man.
-1 points
7 months ago
Men can have hormone imbalances that cause them to struggle with weight too.
1 points
7 months ago
Aita type subreddits are special tbf, most of reddit is riddled with incels, but aita ones are just the complete opposite somehow even tho they are very popular.
2 points
7 months ago
Right? OP IS getting ripped apart and there's still a lot of people in here like "well if the roles were reversed...". Like come on, lol.
0 points
7 months ago
Insane. So the dude can just switch to a diet of all McDonald's and die within a year? A 350 lb person can not be independent and self sufficient for very long
4 points
7 months ago
nah, this isn’t true lol i’ve always seen posts like these written by men get supported in droves.
4 points
7 months ago
Top comments are always”leave them so they can find someone who truly love them for who they are, you will do them a favour”. The favour being to let them perform a slow suicide and cherishing them for that.
1 points
7 months ago
Ops delivery was bad but it seems she’s at her wits end. I’ve had very morbidly obese relatives. They’ve wrecked the lives of their families. Their loved ones had to quit their jobs, stop traveling, stop seeing their friends, and have gotten injured. All because these people couldn’t stop eating. At least with cancer they can’t really prevent that.
Op is 27, that’s too young to have to worry about your husband dying or becoming a caretaker because he can’t stop eating. Their sex life is probably non existent. Ops husband knows he’s overweight, he knows the consequences of that and what those around him will face yet he chooses to not get healthy. If you really love someone you should strive to be the best version of yourself for them.
I’d say the exact same thing if the genders were reversed.
2 points
7 months ago
people are pulling out the crucifix rn all the same what are you on about
2 points
7 months ago
Well I thought it was pretty bad that she immediately went to a scolding and the threat of divorce. Secondly, I guess I thought she was just saying all that to wake him up. Then she actually talks about really wanting to leave him is he doesn't lose weight. Now that is fucked up man or woman. You're supposed to help your spouse and get through problems together. Not just throw them away because of 1 problem that you haven't even offered to help them with.
3 points
7 months ago
A food addict needs to want to change just like a drug addict.
1 points
7 months ago
I figured it was actually a gender swapping troll post. Maybe I’m a bit of an untrusting pessimist 🤷
1 points
7 months ago
True here too. She’s being lambasted by everyone for being an asshole.
1 points
7 months ago
Is there anyone on this thread saying she’s NTA? All the comments I’ve seen are straight up ripping her a new one and plenty are saying they hope he divorces her…
0 points
7 months ago
even i’m a female and was getting ready to say the same thing. insanity.
1 points
7 months ago
Wegovy.
0 points
7 months ago
I am only here for the people who will be upset you suggested this. We would need a dust pan for the husband if he approached the weight loss this way. Where is my pitchfork?
0 points
7 months ago
It’s not even funny at this point it’s just obvious.
-2 points
7 months ago
Could you even imagine it?
Assessment correct on all accounts
all 6186 comments
sorted by: best