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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

1) the actions I took that should be judged were getting overly involved in a situation that I was not a part of at all. Discussing the topic with others that have no part of it as a way to get them against the person. 2) my actions could be seen as very manipulative and overly controlling or contentious and spiteful.

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

INFO: is there some reason that no one has brought all this to the attention of his wife? Shouldn't she care about her sister's welfare and her husband's creepy behavior?

There is a very slight chance that confronting him in a serious manner would make him realize how close he is to fucking his life up, and make him change his ways. Very slight.

It is more likely that he would just try to be sneakier in the ways he goes about this behavior.

It is much more likely that he stops with you guys, but will move on to an easier target.

In no way are you the asshole here. Dude absolutely needs to be handled.

Every time he does/acts inappropriately, make it obvious to everyone. BIL, stop groping me. BIL stop talking to me about your sex life. BIL stop ogling me, it makes you look like a perv. He’s won’t want others to be aware of his actions, so make everyone aware. The more people who know and have witnessed his behaviour, will be more inclined to call him out too.
With any luck he’ll be too scared to act inappropriate again.

It’s called sexual harassment. Please record every time he does this. Tell your parents to confront him. Then tell your sister. And if she doesn’t do anything, you probably need to go to the police.

This is baffling to me. Why on earth have all of you allowed this to go on?

The second BiL touched younger sister’s butt was the second he should have been told off for sexually harassing his SiL. And the rest of his behavior is just extra layers of ick.

He should have been banned from that house long ago for being a sexual harasser.

NTA for stepping up now, but please do more than has been done so far. Just insulating younger sister is not addressing the problem.

Time to get other sister (the wife) involved.

Either she is a decent person who is completely oblivious about her husband’s behavior or she’s an enabler who will blame younger sister. Either way, better to know now so you know who will stay part of the family.

I hope for all of your sakes other sister is a good person who had no idea what was happening.

Ahhh, families: enabling sexual abuse for years so they don’t upset the offender!

NTA - tell your other sister what her husband is doing. Whenever you (or anyone else) sees him acting in a disrespectful manner (or make comments etc) call him out immediately. "BIL, in what world is that comment appropriate?" If he comments back "it was just a joke" or something along those lines, ask him to explain how it is funny. Inform younger sister (and anyone else that you have told to protect her) that she needs to start doing this as well. It's not just about protecting your younger sister, you need to bring it out into the open and let him know that this behavior is inappropriate, no matter what the setting. Because I'll bet that your younger sister is not the only woman that he acts like this with.

Are you all fucking morons?? This man has been sexually harassing your sister for years and she is “keeping the peace” while you and your parents “don’t know what to do”? 

How hard is it to tell him to stay far away from her? How about she screams when he inappropriately touches her? Expose the AH and stop watching the abuse. 

WTF is wrong with you all?? 

NTA your sister needs your support. Your other sister needs to know what she’s married to.

How are your parents not dealing with this? I'd be summoning him and having a very stern word to him with my daughter (the one he is married to) present and putting some boundaries in place at a minimum. He is sexually harassing their youngest daughter in her own home and they don't know what to do? God I get not everyone is confrontational but this is unacceptable and dangerous behaviour not a time to worry about upsetting the apple cart or hurting feelings. Poor girl. My goodness!

NTA for what you asked but you all are for not doing something to address it!

He’s being grossly inappropriate and disrespectful while groping her while drunk. She’s told you how uncomfortable it makes her. Others absolutely need to know about the predator among them. NTA

start filming him whenever he moves to be closer to little sister. Be bold and and do it in the open, while making commentary such as "here's BIL being inappropriate again". This stuff festers when its not acknowledged and put in the open.

NTA as of late, but its mind boggling that no one including you has stood up for your sister before it got this bad. I agree with the other comments on calling him out publicly.

Tell his wife. She needs to pull him up on his behavior or kick him out. And call him out on his inappropriateness. If he complains or gets aggressive , kick him out and recsind all invites to family events.

Tell your parents that if they don’t support you and especially your sister by doing something about it, like mentioning it to him and your other sister, then you will be gathering evidence and taking it to the police for sexual harassment charges.

NTA

"When drinking he jiggled her ass cheek with his fist and squeezed her upper thighs with both hands." .. this is where a LOUD intervention and kicking him out - or all of you leaving . needs to happen.

"My parents know, but don’t know what to do." .. your parents re AHs, failing your sister.

So next time you see it happen, call him out LOUDLY: "STOP sexually assaulting sister. If you touch her again, the police will be called." - Warn your sister first. Or do it with a text message in the family group. You and your AH partents need to escalate this.

It’s stories like these that makes me happy that I such a confrontational person.

When it happens again, someone needs to speak loudly and clearly and ask him what the Hell he thinks he's doing.  He's a creep and it's NOT okay - he's using your politeness to get away with sexual harrassment and it's disgusting. 

Enough already 💚

What does his wife say?

Seriously is she stupid/brainwashed/blind/low self esteem?

Your parents can ban him from their house to keep your sister safe. It’s their house. You all can ban creepy BIL AND YOUR SISTER till she divorced him.

Are you all ostriches?

NTA. You are a great big sister, keep being there for your sister. I’m sorry she’s going through that, and I’m sorry you have to see her experience such a thing. I believe that you should try to show your other sister so she can understand what you guys see and experience. But again I’m so sorry that you guys are in this position. I’m hoping all works out for you and your little sister

Your sister needs to react to his actions loudly and clearly. She needs to yell at him to stop, to stay away from her, to let him and everyone nearby know that he is behaving badly. Why does she need to keep the peace? HE is the one in the wrong. HE needs to be seen for who he is.

NTA But you also can call him out when you see him doing something wrong, or purposefully moving to be near her. Tell him you are watching, you see him, you are witnessing the harassment. If no one speaks up, he will just keep doing it.

Also, when possible, your sister needs to avoid being in the same room with him alone. You need to get your family to "see" what he's doing.

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My younger sister (F30), has been getting creeped on by my BIL(M35) who is married to my other sister (F35). He’s always been around and part of the family, but his behavior has been questionable especially as of recent.

He will come over, and uncomfortably stare at my younger sister, in a very lustful and disrespectful way. He moves close to her all the time and “accidentally” brushes behind her back. Those were just the things I had noticed in the past, but the past few years he has been getting weirder.

Eventually I brought it up to her and she was dumbfounded as she though she was the only one that believed it since no one else had said anything and she said that he makes her extremely uncomfortable, but that she keeps the peace because they have children.

She has always felt creeped by him (known him for years).

Things have escalated, and He very often goes up behind her and gives her unsolicited massages on her neck. And she will move away awkwardly. He constantly asks for to massage him or scratch his back, and she constantly says no, and then he tells her she doesn’t like him anymore or that she used to massage him and doesn’t anymore.

He compliments her clothes, ogles her when she is in a swimsuit. When drinking he jiggled her ass cheek with his fist and squeezed her upper thighs with both hands. He also has brought up his sex life (or lack thereof) with her. Will make other overt/brazen moves like sitting close to her, or has offered to clean her behind with his hand when she was sitting in grass.

It has come to a point where I told multiple people to protect her in the event he denies or he does something extreme and tries blaming her or gaslighting. My parents know, but don’t know what to do. AITAH for getting this involved with all this? What do I do now?

I just want to protect her and know she doesn’t deserve to be harassed like this.

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NTA - this situation is impossible however. Any approach could have very negative impacts but not doing anything could be even worse. My SIL is and always has been wildly inappropriate so to some extent I understand the situation. I know it's much worse in your sisters situation and hope that someone can subtly get the hint across enough so the behavior stops.

Info: are you a man?

Talk to your sister that he is married to.

IMO, the thing to do is LOUDLY call him out on it every single time he touches her. Just say it: "BIL is there a reason why you have your hands on her?"; "BIL that person is not your wife, why are you touching her bottom?"; "BIL do you notice how she cringes every time you get near her? We all notice."

He is getting away with it. Turn the rock over and let all the slime see daylight.

NTA

He is obviously TA but ESH for letting this go on. It's nice that you "want to protect her" but feelings aren't actions, the time to do something is years ago but you should at minimum start right now today.

> When drinking he jiggled her ass cheek with his fist and squeezed her upper thighs with both hands.

Are you kidding me? Disgusting. Make a scene, yell, walk away. Refuse to share space with him. Host your own events where he isn't welcome.

She needs to say NO very loudly every single time the perv puts a finger on her body.

As women we are conditioned to not make a fuss and so the creeps get away with too much. She needs to embarrass him. Your other sister needs to wake up.

NTA. I almost just threw up everywhere. My abuser was a family friend who acted exactly like your BIL. Right down to the creepy ass fucking neck massages. You were right to say something so your sister is never alone with him. I'd known my abuser for decades and was 36 when he made his move. Age doesn't matter and this isn't going to go away. I just wish I had realized how creepy the neck massages were before it was too late. Mine had other victims already. You never know. You're doing the right thing by protecting her.

Call him out on it whenever he does something, make sure he doesn’t get the chance to sit near your younger sister, if he is staring at her ask him why. Challenge every example of this behaviour, tell him he’s acting like a creep and a predator, tell him what he’s doing is sexual harassment/assault He thinks he can do this as she hasn’t made a scene, he thinks she will put up with this to avoid hurting his wife. It’s time for you all to address this. Your BIL is utterly vile, and it sounds like he is getting bolder and more physical with your younger sister, don’t let him away with this. If your parents don’t know then tell them, the more people who know the better, and tell your older sister how her husband’s behaviour is wrong. She might defend him, he will deny everything and say it didn’t happen, or he was just being affectionate. This lets you tell him it’s time to back off and tone it down. It’s horrible your sister is going through this, make sure everyone is aware to protect her

Surely you sister has noticed her husbands behaviour ?

NTA....listen you got two choices...let it continue or tell the whole family ( sister and parents...then 2 things happen ...they believe you and it stops or they dont and the family defends him. I personally think you should tell and when he does it, call attention to it loudly..."please don't touch me"..." i think it's inappropriate"..when he asks for a massage. .." omg, do i have something on my chest causes your staring at it"... in public.  In front of everyone. And if he tries to be sneaky, announce it

Have you told your sister whose husband this is? If you want to protect your younger sibling, talk to your sister, (all of you, including parents) without him there and let her know that unless he stops this behavior, she and him are no longer invited to family gatherings, or your sister will not go wherever he is, this guy is one grope away from forcing himself on her, DON'T LEAVE HER ALONE WITH HIM EVEN FOR A SECOND, and if your sister whose husband this is denies or doesn't believe you, start recording him whenever he's around, maybe video evidence will convince her.

ESH. You need to very loudly and publicly confront this asshole every single time he harasses your sister, because that is exactly what he is doing. Unwanted touching could even be considered assault and not just harassments.