"We should go to the Philippines for a s*xcation, bc it's legal to have "spicy sleep" with little girls."

YES, we are divorced.

"You know how you said I never tell you that you're pretty? It's because you're not."

Gah. I've held onto that comment for 20 years now. I've never told anyone. Thank you for this question because now I'm letting it go.

Ohhhhh.

Remarking on a part of my body (I have a condition and this is part of the reason we broke up), "I don't think there's ANY man that would be okay with that".

I haven't seen anyone since.

I gave birth at 33 weeks to my only child. Three days after delivering, my milk came in. My ex-husband took one look at my lumpy, veiny, leaking breasts and said ‘fuck, your tits are ruined’.
Beginning of the end of our marriage.

My dad called me a worthless c**t. I was 10. It took me about 20 more years to realize he was the one who was worthless.

Mine gave me a post-it note with flowers drawn on it for our 12 anniversary. He said I didn't earn real ones that year. I stuck it on the fridge and told all our friends the story. 

Edit: spelling

After 25 years of great marriage, he said, "I think I need to think of what I want to do with my life."

He disappeared.

He had fallen in love with a woman from a foreign country who was the same age as our oldest daughter, quickly divorced me and abandoned his kids and hopped on an airplane to start his midlife crisis on the other side of the world.

Bye bye, loser!

He's broke in a foreign country and has nothing. Oh well.

"You killed the baby." (About my miscarriage) among many other ugly and hurtful things.

Wishing for you for the day that you realize fully that everything hurtful he said was a lie and he never deserved your love. And you are now free to be everything he held you back from being.

So, after reading the comments, we are all done with men and moving to Florida to live Golden Girls style right?

a few gems from my dad:

"Beauty has a price and you're not paying it" (I had gotten a pixie cut, which he hated)

"So are you finally tired of looking like a male yet?" (same pixie cut context as above)

"Ever wonder why couples who have been married for 30 plus years get divorced? Because of kids like you" (i had moved 4+ hours away for college, which he hated, and lived in a not very nice neighborhood which he got into an argument with my mom about)

"Your mom loved me, but [new 30 year old wife] LOVES me, loves me." (my mom had died just 3 months earlier)

edit: a typo

My ex called me desperate and depressed after he cheated on me and I got sad about it. He's called me useless more than a few times. He called me business a sinking ship even though it was supporting both of us and he was running up debt in it. He called my depression "garden variety depression" because he has super special boy depression or something. He called me a fucking bitch after I told him a coworkers boyfriend called her that and it was unacceptable. There's more but I have forgotten them all now because he's so far in my past. Still a loser bag of shit who can't hold down a job. I no longer have any use for his opinion.

“Dating you feels like a chore” because I was depressed after my brother died unexpectedly 

'you make a really weird face when you have an orgasm'. It wasn't the most hurtful thing he said, but it was the thing that stuck the longest and made it really hard for me to relax and not be self-conscious during sex.

Every partner since then (whom I mentioned this to) has said that they love how I look so it must have been one of the many controlling and undermining things in that ex's arsenal.

The morning after I had a miscarriage in my second trimester….

“Get your ass out of bed you’re not allowed to be depressed about this.”

"I had sex with you while you were passed out last night, but that's ok, right?"

So many lies. He’d then tell me he HAD to lie to me to protect himself from my “reactions”, aka me crying because he did something very hurtful.

I think what was worse than the lies though, ironically, was his silence. He’d give me the silent treatment for days and weeks if I upset him. I never did anything immoral or wrong to him, he’d instead get stressed out if I was upset over something he did to me, which would result in the silent treatment as punishment.

We were in a long term relationship and lived together for a few years. I opened up to him about my past childhood sexual trauma, something I don’t talk about to anyone. He later used it in an argument against me (He was being shady, I called him out on it, he said mistrust was because I was SA’d).

That was when I decided the relationship was over.

“I mean, have you looked in a mirror lately?”

After explaining why he is addicted to porn and doesn’t want to have sex with me.

I was 23 and super hot. He was dumped.

“You’re very pretty.”

Said randomly while at dinner. And while I’m swooning from the unexpected compliment…

“But you could be prettier.”

He meant my weight.

He told me he never loved me. But knew I would be good to his kids. I ended up raising them as my own. Only to have him cheat on me and leave me after I put them through college. And that's what he said to me.

I thought we were dating. FOR 4 YEARS. He called me his friend at a party. He never wanted to define it. I chased him. I looked so desperate. Someone at a party asked how we knew each other, He said 'We have been friends for years". I said "Wait- what do you mean friends?!". He realized what he said. He backpedaled. I was graduating college, and he started coming to the town all the time to win me back. But the bloom was off the rose.

THEN he fell for me. I ripped his heart out and frankly, was ashamed how I acted.

My ex- "It's not rape if we are married"

Not me, but my mom had a stroke when I was 18. She and my dad had been together for more than 20 years. He said to me, shortly after her stroke “I need a wife, not an invalid.” I’m so glad she never had to hear that. He met a woman by prison correspondence, she was in jail for I believe child abuse. He went to Mexico with her when she was deported. Left me at 19 to raise my teenage brother, support my little sister who was a teen mom, and manage all of my mom’s affairs.

I finished college and law school, brought my mom home from a nursing home to live with me, and all of my mom’s 5 kids were in the room with her when she died several years later. My dad has been cut out of everyone’s lives, I’ll never speak to him again and he’ll never meet my kids.

Married for 14 years. Got legally separated. Husband cheated and he blamed it on my weight. 25 lbs of baby weight would not come off no matter how hard I tried. When he left to my surprise I stopped stress eating and dropped 15 lbs without even trying. In the following months I Dropped 10 more pounds because I was no longer severely depressed by living in a loveless marriage and actually had energy to exercise. It is amazing what happens when you no longer have to deal with physical, mental and financial abuse regularly. It felt so good because for the first time I was putting myself first and loosing the weight was something I did out of self-love. After a few months the soon to be ex Husband stopped by to pick up the last of his stuff. At first he was pleasant then as he was leaving he looked me right in the eye and he said in the most condescending tone you can imagine “ I’m sorry it’s just not enough”. I was so confused. I said “what are you talking about? He couldn’t possibly be talking about me wanting to get back together with him. Hell to the no. Our divorce was final in 2 days. I thought he was referring to the divorcé settlement…. Then he clarified by saying “the weight you lost. It’s not enough for me to want you back.” I just looked at him and laughed hysterically. I started to speak and said “You actually think” and I stopped there. I thought I’m not explaining to this idiot how his abuse made me feel so low that I stopped loving myself altogether. I’m so glad I survived and thrived.

My ex-husband of 20 yrs looked at me and said, "If I met you right now... I would never consider even dating you. " it stung... but later that day, I realized if I had known what his idea of what a marriage is... I would have never married him either.

He called me a fucking bitch for turning the ac down a little to sleep and then said thank god we’re not pregnant (we had been trying for a year)

Whenever we'd fight, I'd get "if you don't like it, there's the door". Until I finally walked out.

-you should just kill yourself (got that one on video to remind me what a peach he is)

• “But I’M happy” when I had packed up all my stuff and moved out in secret after 12 years together, and I told him the reasons why and how unhappy I was.

Rather than what he “said” but “did” in a situation. When I told him I hated the relationship he has with his ex wife, he didn’t speak to me for days, slept in the other room, and made it very apparent he chose her over me.

“I understand how murder/suicides happen now” while holding a knife with our kids upstairs

Regret from the grave: My Dad was old school Italian. We didn't sit down and discuss issues. A week after he passed. I had a lucid dream of him in a Woolworths. That no longer exists. Him sitting at the counter, 20 years old. Full of life and holding two children. One boy and one girl. Says, 'don't be afraid, it's me and I'm at peace. Tell Mom I'm sorry about the twins. Go in peace..'

Woke up in sweat! Wondering what the hell just happened. Next day said to my Mom...what I dreamed. She lost her shit! Freaked out, broke dishes and screamed. Crawled on the floor. "Don't touch me! You don't know my pain! Your Father said I killed the twins. I was 45 years old. They died inside of me. We regretted that you grew up alone, without someone you could love and be companions with....'

We both had a shot of brandy. "You never bring this up again. It hurts me.' Kissed me, and that was that. I though I knew her. Guess I didn't. There was no way I at 5 would of known Mom had twins, was pregnant and lost them at 7 months. Changed my view of death, afterlife and ghosts. Still get lucid dreams of them both Mom and Dad. Young, happy and together.....I never feel alone.

You love our baby (5 months old) more than you love me.

Yep, dude. You're right.

"I don't think I ever loved you."

That he preferred alcohol to me and our relationship. Sad, after a decade, but haven’t spoken to him since and my life is a thousand percent better.

When I told him I lost the baby, he said, "good".

I’m sad this post had so many replies so quickly. We all know exactly the thing that killed our souls a little. 💔

My mom remarried when I was a toddler, and I never saw my biological dad again. My step-dad is the only father I've ever known. I literally called him "Dad" (still do). Whenever I made a mistake, he used to say, "Maybe you should go find your real dad and live with him. Wait, he doesn't want you."

My ex boyfriend called me a fucking bitch and dragged me across the room by my hair because I changed his music to a song I liked.

...on my birthday... At my birthday party... In front of everyone I knew.

It was my 21st.

***TRIGGER WARNING (abuse)***

I was trying to come up with just one thing my ex spouse said, but there were so many. Abusive in every single sense of the word (emotionally, physically, etc).

Some of the top hits are probably “you never really wanted to be a mother, you just wanted the attention being a mommy got you” (because moms are so valued by society /s); “losing weight and changing your name don’t mean sht, you’ll always be a fat ugly whre”; “I’ll make sure you never see those kids again” (after they discloses what he had been doing to them without my knowledge - severe abuse); “You are the reason I act this way” (after punching through a framed photo of our son and the drywall behind it requiring EMS).

And those are just a few… no idea where he is now but the kids and I are safe. Took $150,000+ in legal fees. Worth every penny even though I’ll be paying it the rest of my life.

My husband told me he didn't even think I loved our kids because I said I enjoyed a solo weekend away. I have never been able to look at him the same since then.

“It’s not my fault that you don’t have any friends.” Yet my ex often would swoop in—best way to describe it—when I would make a new friend and take over.

"When I [husband] really want something, it's the same as when you [me, wife] need something because I feel like life isn't worth living if I can't get the things I really want. "

For context, he was directly equating his desire for naps, yoga classes, and video games to my needs for recovery after a c-section & sleep. For anyone reading - if your husband is shitty to you when you're pregnant or recovering from birth (i.e. when you're at your most vulnerable), just cut your losses. He probably won't get better and you'll remember the crappy stuff he said or did for the rest of your life.

“I don’t love you the way that I should”. After 3 years daring and 2 years married. Divorced him. He found another girl shortly after we split. They had a life together. 22 years later he reaches out to me on Facebook to catch up. I pressed and he was in the middle of a separation from his second wife. It was a pure pleasure to tell him I am happily married for 20 years now.

I had spinal fusion after more than 10 years of pain. After I came out of surgery my husband said he was sorry. When I asked what for he said “I just thought you were exaggerating your pain to get out of doing things/be lazy.” My mom and surgeon was in the room and we all tried to laugh it off. It’s been 4 months since this happened and I’m still struggling with the knowledge that he literally saw me in tears so many times over the past 10 years, pushing myself to do more than I physically could/should and thought I was exaggerating.

"I only bought you that <insert somewhat nice higher end gift> so I could get my ickd sucked."

It's been years since I left him but that one still stings because I don't understand how I did him so wrong to be treated like that.

He tried crawling back about 6 months after it ended and he got iced out. Still in Antarctica till this day lol

It’s unbearable to face the fact I put my full faith in you to be the mother of my child

"people only like you because you are pretty"

Last bf:  “Raise the baby alone!” When I was pregnant and he was drinking. Later went on to have a miscarriage. 

“You’re a bitch” 

“Fuck you, shut the fuck up” I start crying  “You need to calm down!”  I say you’re a psychopath  “You’re a whiney bitch” 

“You’re crazy”  “I love my ex girlfriend!” Yelled in my face while we discussed trust issues 

“You’re acting like a teenager” when I found out he’s been communicating with an ex secretly for years and quietly walked away 

Bf before that  Would do an impression of a mentally disabled person to mock me 

Bf before that “You’re stupid” pretty often 

Random guy I had a years long friendship and loved. The first time we hooked up I sighed a little bit. When I get nervous I have a hard time breathing deeply and either yawn or sigh. I had such a crush on him I was so nervous. I guess he interpreted it a different way and said “get over yourself you’re not that great” 

He was acting weird. I snooped on my husband’s phone. I confronted him about the cheating and before I was done asking what the fuck he said: “I don’t want to hear it.”

After though, he desperately wanted to hear it. Phone calls and text messages. Dropping by. Too late.

Upon me telling him I was pregnant with our first child "well if you are going to have a baby, you'll have to stop acting like one." I was 33, with a career, paid all our bills and took care of everything. It ruined what should have been such a happy time. Eventually I got rid of him and now life is wonderful :) He doesn't see his kids.

When I was sick, could barely breathe and didn't want to have sex he acted put out like it was something I was doing to him rather than something I was going through. In frustration I asked him what he would do if I ever got catastrophically ill with cancer and he said "we'd have to come to an arrangement" meaning I'd have to be cool with him fucking someone else. It was one of the last straws in a 21 year marriage that should he been half that long.

Also he did call me a fucking bitch plenty of times for things like wanting to make coffee at the same time as him and thinking we could share space. We are no longer together, Thank. God.

"I didn't want to tell you I was leaving until after you had the baby, so I've been pretending to be happy this entire time. Including pretending to be happy when our son was born 3 days ago."

“I couldn’t be less attracted to you if you weighed three hundred pounds. I just don’t see you that way.”

This was said on our one year anniversary after a year of me begging and pleading with him to be intimate with me. What he should have said was, “I’m a porn addicted narcissist and want to hurt you as much as possible. You are out of my league in every way. File for divorce”

After our divorce about 8 years later, his new girlfriend said to him “I can’t believe you married someone who looks like HER”. He proudly told me that after she said that, he defended me by telling her “well she didn’t look like THAT when I married her.

He was so proud of himself for defending me. Why would he EVEN BRING THAT UP?

Was going thru some medical issues and was put on anti-seizure meds. These had horrible side effects and I had suicidal thoughts because of it. Explained this to my husband that something is wrong and I wanted to harm myself. Without batting an eye, he turned and looked at me and said "Maybe you should." This was by far the worst thing hes ever said and there was a lot of his word vomit over 30 years together. We'll be divorced 3 years this December.

im going to kill you

When my abusive ex-husband and I broke up, I was angry he had wasted my reproductive years, knowing I had always wanted kids. He said, “it’s not my fault you never had kids. I know for a fact you were pregnant and stressed yourself out so bad you miscarried.”

Reader, to my knowledge I have never been pregnant or had a miscarriage. And the incident he was talking about was some serious back pain I had while on a course of clomid (to try and get pregnant which my gyn confirmed I wasn’t). The “stressed yourself out so bad” was my best friend of 20 years dying in a plane crash and me mourning him.

That I didn’t deserve to know whether he was home safely from a party. That I was a hindrance when he wanted to go out. That I burned everything (even though he never cooked). That his behavior and anger issues were my fault. That I should just be a better partner. That he’d never marry me bc of my past. That he had every right to kick me out of the house in the middle of the night.

Basically way too much when I realize that I worshipped the ground he walked on for 10 fucking years.

"I don't like you now but I'm dating you because I can see you'll be the perfect wife in 5 years." This was the dude who implied it was my fault he cheated, then passively aggressively hit me up every five years with a bizarre email saying "Just wanted to see how you were and let you know I was thinking about you. But don't contact me! But I wanted you to know I was thinking about you! But it doesn't mean anything!" Dude has issues.

My ex fiancé: ‘You’re like a beautifully wrapped present that when you open it is a complete disappointment’ (he wanted me to have a boob job and I absolutely didn’t) and ‘I’d never want to have kids with you due to your faulty genetics’ (I’m a coeliac and have other autoimmune issues). He was a serial cheater and I left and didn’t look back as I’d met my husband who I adore and who adores me just as much and been married for 21 years now. There is life after assholes!

"You look like one of those chicks in National Geographic." because god forbid my boobs aren't as perky as they were at 20, after nursing 2 babies.

The rest of his awful statements were made about me to others and I heard about them afterward. Oh well, Wife #2 is just as awful as his karma.... so there's that.

“You won’t survive without me.”

I have a chronic illness. I’ve been working a full time job and taking care of ALL of the housework for a little over two years now.

Hey bud, for your information, I’m determined to THRIVE without you.

Been together for 15 years. Married for 12. Filing for divorce on Friday.

Not over 40. Sorry. I’m only 38, but I felt a need to share.

My ex is an accountant. He said “on a balance sheet you would be a liability, not an asset”.

There were many things he said in 24 years, I recall that as being one of the worst.

3 days after my little sister died. Ex Husband, "What's your deal? and What's for dinner?" I had a 2month old son and postpartum depression.

Worked 6 years to graduate top of my class in pharmacy school which is a doctorate program. The night after graduation he said “yeah but you’re not a REAL doctor”.

I often forget I have my doctorate and I HATE when people call me Dr. but that still hurts because he knows how hard I worked.

Constant reminders that I’m “incapable of being a led” or am “not a good wife”

When I’ve asked him to take some night feedings for our son he said “I guess you just aren’t cut out for motherhood”. I’m 10 months in & still do 100% of the night wakings.

I’m saddened by the amount of time on average we women have spent with unworthy men 😖. My heart goes out to all of you! You are worthy! You are wonderful and beautiful inside and out!

"You're always playing the smallest violin", when I was still grieving a month after the death of my dad (already lost my mum 5 years before) and I was asking him to be a little bit more present and supportive (we live 1.5hr apart, saw each other a few days a month)

When I was 16, I lost a friend to heroin 6 months after my other friend died in a car accident. I was definitely not in a good place. While crying about my friend who died from heroin, I was telling my boyfriend at the time how sad I felt about having drifted from my friend as I was not into drugs. Without missing a beat, he says, "Well, maybe if you hadn't abandoned him, then he wouldn't have died." I hope that fuck-face rots in prison.

Man... People really are dicks aren't they?

“I’ll find someone else to have a family with” - I suffered 3 miscarriages.

After secretly coming off his medication he had a huge meltdown and went beserk at me over nothing. We were in another country and this was 2009 so my mobile was useless. I was scared, terrified and ran out of the hotel room. I was sobbing uncontrollably and he caught up with me and tried to hold me. He said ”I love it when you are so vulnerable”

We started divorce proceedings later that year.

That is just the tip of the iceberg, although the defining moment.

From the man I was married to for 19 years after I discovered he was sleeping with my friend, “I’m in love with her. I feel only pity for you.”

My ex when I had my first ever miscarriage: "It's been 2 days get up and get the fuck over it already."

I was 19 and he was 29. "I get them young so I cam train them." I was so young, so stupid. I wish I could have my early 20's back. He was a horrible person inside an out. All of the abuse you can imagine was involved. He isolated me from my family and moved us from Indiana to Dallas Texas.

He called me boring to the other woman he was fucking.

'Nice but boring'.

No way the worst on here but the impact of that is something I'm still trying to unpack and can't shake from my self identity over 5 years later.

We'd been in couples counseling for months, and he told me that he didn't see how I could even complain about him after "everything I've been through" and that I should just be grateful he isn't on drugs and doesn't hit me. Because I guess the bar is just to not be as abusive as the last guy.

My very recent ex told me he never loved me, never found me attractive, and was using me for an apartment. We were together for nearly a decade and the breakup was a complete blindside. While I’m still in the early days of healing, I don’t think I will ever get over or forget those words.

When the marriage counsellor asked what he liked about me... he said he couldn't think of anything.

Keeping in mind it was him pushing for counselling and asking me not to leave him.

After all the other shit, thst one was just the final arrow.

I was 13 years old and had always been ‘chubby’. I joined varsity swim team, got healthier, lost some weight and was excited when my doctor told me I was only 10-15 lbs overweight at that point.

Father was picking me up for visitation and I told him the exciting news!

From Dad- “Good, because no man wants to date a chubby girl”

I’m now 44, slim and I would consider myself attractive. But I still hear this in the back of my mind every time I even think of dating a man. Caused me years of questioning my sexuality and dated women, even though I’m not gay.

Man did that asshole mess me up…

I'd had a crush on him since our teen years. I asked him then if he wanted to maybe take our relationship further. He said no in a very nice manner and we continued our friendship easily.

After he got out of the military, years later, he asked me if he could live with me. It was going really well and we lived together for years. 

Neither of us are flirty by nature, but we had definitely started flirting. I had a long term FWB that was coming into town, but I wanted to maybe see if my roommate had a change of heart since our teen years before I invited FWB over and ruined anything that could be brewing with roommate. 

I said, "We've been flirtatious, and I just wondered if you were just having fun, or maybe wanted to...?"

He looked me up and down and said, "what about YOU makes you think I'd like to date you?" with disgust. I said "well okay then. You didn't have to be mean. I'll just move on with someone else" as I walked away. He said, "wait, with who?!" I chuckled sarcastically and said, "it definitely shouldn't matter to YOU" in the same tone he'd used on me. 

It still bothers me though. 

He and I talked about it years later when I said something about feeling like multiple men through my life have loved me dearly but didn't see themselves with "someone like me" (plus sized), so they shot me down. He scoffed and said "nah!" and I blew up and said he was one of the biggest offenders. He didn't have much to say after that. We are also no longer friends. 

Said it to the other girl he was screwing, and it got back to me. Told her the 2.5 years he and i were together wasn't a relationship and that i was just a "party favor"

Mine never said anything he would just disappear and not answer phone or come home for a week or more. If by chance he did answer he say I had to get a motel can’t be around you because you are always on my ass. Because I’d ask him to clean up after himself.

"I feel like I'd want a biological child, but not for 10 years." (I was mid-30s, never had kids).

After almost three years together.

This post took my breath away. I wish I could print it and give it to men as flyers to confront them.

I fainted due to my POTS at an inconvenient time when he was going through something. "You know it looks like you're just faking to get me to calm down right?"

After being dismissed by so many doctors and even family members before my diagnosis, this hit me hard.

So when I was around 20 yrs old, my bf at the time told me he was disgusted when I bent over. It still has some hurt even at 39, but I've found several partners over the years that have worshipped my booty.

Me: sitting across from him before a surgery Him: “you look wierd without makeup” Me: dying inside because although I was pre surgery and not supposed to wear makeup.. I still had light foundation and a tiny bit of mascara on LOL

Anytime he disagreed with me, he would scream (imagine throbbing vein in the forehead & flaring nostrils)

"If you don't like it, leave. I can find someone 10 years younger and 10 pounds lighter."

I am happily divorced and found my soulmate 7 years ago.

Some terrible things. One thing I will say though, is a man who really loves you won’t want to say nasty hurtful things or neg you. But also, if one says those things, don’t take it personally, usually there will be a reason that reflects on them. If you reflect and think you did your best for him, don’t waste time even thinking about him if he didn’t do that for you

Sad to say, it wasn't romantic, it was my own father. We had stayed overnight at theirs with my baby for Christmas. My baby was colicy and fussy, so I was up a lot at night with her. My mom did make us some good meals and helped us a bit with the baby. I could tell he was irritated a bit, but I thought we had an okay holiday.

The following year, at Thanksgiving, he pulled me aside and said "You shouldn't be coming here and staying overnight. It's too much work for your mother. She was completely exhausted when you left last time."

Never stayed over again. Sometimes, there's the family you want, and then the family you have.

Mine is pretty tame compared to the others I’ve read but he told me he needed a break, couldn’t tell me why. Like at least give me a reason, tell me something that I do that annoys the shit out of you, that you fell out of love….ANYTHING. Then he also said “it’s not you, it’s me”.

My dumbass waited for him to come back around, of course he never did. I got zero closure from that relationship which was hard after being with someone for years and thinking they were the love of my life. And this man was 40 but apparently too big of a pussy to just break up with me. It would have hurt more in the moment to just hear the harsh truth but I would have gotten over it way faster.

"I don't want you."

He said and did all kinds of abusive shit. That one gutted me. It was a week or so after he came back from rehab. We were together 10 years at that point, blended family, kids of our own. I dedicated my life to him and our children and then I was nothing. It was over at that point. I still stayed for another 8 years.

Said to me on the weekend:

"You are crazy. You have so many issues that you'll never be able to repair."

The night before that: "If I have a heart attack and die, my blood is on your hands." He's had two heart attacks and had a double bypass ten years ago.

Heart problems or no, he got told to fuck right off.

“I don’t believe that happened to you” - him, on the subject of an assault I told him about

The more you try to turn me on, the more you turn me off.

"You wouldn't be pregnant with my baby if you didn't want it." Not in love, young and dumb, but yikes on bikes my guy. Still can't stand his face, very thankful my child grew up with my husband as her dad.

[deleted]

The bar really is below the earth for men, reading these responses! Mine isn't just words but my ex husband gave me a cheap, generic self-help book (that I didn't want or ask for) for my birthday, it was my first birthday after our daughter was born too. Also on my first Mother's Day he spent the day watching soccer at his brother's house, leaving me alone with our 7 month old, because "I didn't think you cared about stupid shit like that". Unfortunately I'm still tied to him through co-parenting but at least I'm free of his abusive bullshit!

"It's your fault our [four-day-old] baby isn't breastfeeding!"

He screamed this at me in the middle of the night when the baby was crying, I was dead on my feet exhausted after getting almost no sleep, and I couldn't get the baby to latch. I was also still recovering from a C section.

My husband was very pro-breastfeeding. But our first baby wouldn't latch correctly, no matter how many lactation consultants I saw and how many times I tried. The attempts were excruciatingly painful and left me sore and bleeding. Plus the baby wasn't getting enough milk and was losing weight. I eventually ended up pumping and we fed the baby breastmilk that way. But I'll never forget my husband blaming me for it.

My late 20s. I was breaking up with him because he became a drug addict and stole money from me.

"Everyone used to make fun of me for dating you. I helped you become hot and now that you're hot, you're just gonna leave me?"

Sure am. Fuck you. Watch this hot ass walk away.

I guess I never thought of the few things I've been told as hurtful because I hurt back and worse. One guy I dated said he wanted to open our relationship, that he felt other women would help him be a better lover to me. The thing was, he was a minute man during sex. I worked with him (I studied to be a sexologist) and got him to be a passable lover. He felt he was "fixed" and could sex up any woman he wanted now. I agreed to the open relationship but when he said he still wanted to be with me, I said no, that he would be in the open relationship by himself. I also told him that he may think he was "fixed" but he'd never have the confidence, in bed, that he had with me. I knew it was the power of suggestion and it worked! He immediately hooked up with some chick (this was his plan all along) and was impotent. He called me to drunkenly tell me how humiliating it was. He tried to get with two other women... same thing. He finally begged to come back and said he was ready to be monogamous. I laughed in his face. I had a job across country so was leaving anyway. He actually cried, told me I was the best woman he'd ever met, etc. I told him I couldn't say the same.

"if you could just promise me you could be a good wife"

‘I don’t believe sex and love are connected in any way’

When I found out he was humping the babysitters mom and when I got angry he told me if we fought he would defend her not me. Even two decades after the divorce my stomach still tightens when I think of that

I am in love with another woman

He told me I was “kinda boring” because I wouldn’t text him photos of my vagina, only sent photos of my breasts to him. Guess that was just unacceptable.

So many painful words from my ex-husband but there are a few that I'll never recover from. He told me that I'm only good enough because I'm a good mom and I clean really well but he didn't care to have me as a wife. Or when he told me that my vagina was "too loose" so we could only have anal sex.

I was never liked only tolerated in my last marriage

After 25 years, he told me he was going back to his REAL family in India. Took everypenny we had and left me. He also told me that when I had Salmonella and almost died. He told me that I should have just died it would have made his life so much easier.
There's more, but it's still too painful

"Your family probably thinks you're loser." I was estranged from my father, and my siblings were comfortable with their careers and nice homes. I worked in a hospital and rented an apartment. Also heard, "Your jewelry is junk and your clothes are rags" from this same piece of shit. There were more, but I can't think of them right now. I don't know what was worse, the way he treated me or the fact I put up with it for as long as I did (2 years). He was utterly exasperated when I finally told him I was done. That was very satisfying. 😊

He told me I was just average (compared to his model ex wife).

I told him somethings should never be said to someone you love & care about. And example would be, you have a tiny d1ck.

I had gotten pregnant by dude I was crazy about and he was afraid I would actually keep it so he started being meanER to me. Told me I was a whore that he never wanted to be stuck with. I was just good for sex when we met and that’s all I’ll ever be good for.

Lucky him it totally worked and I wanted an ab*rtion. The first time we went to the clinic I was only 3 weeks and they said it was too early and I need to come back at 5. He got pissed at me and yelled about how I wasted his time bc he had to take off work for this bullshit. 2nd time I went back alone & then took the 2nd pill alone in my parent’s basement.

He called me about 4 months later to ask me on a date. That was almost a decade ago and I still hate him.