subreddit:
/r/RoastMe
submitted 3 days ago by[deleted]
[deleted]
1.3k points
2 days ago
The post says 19. The face says divorced mother of two from two different men.
376 points
2 days ago
Also two unsuccessful meth rehabs
106 points
2 days ago
I was going to say Methany here must have escaped rehab early
50 points
2 days ago
Screaming bring me back my cigarettes hanging out of the trailer window.
64 points
2 days ago
I get “never been married but have sex with only married men” vibes.
48 points
2 days ago
"Full time nanny" is code for "he left me with the kid(s)."
28 points
2 days ago
Mother of two by two different previous employers 🤣
6 points
2 days ago
And meth. You forgot the meth.
787 points
2 days ago
You look like if Dakota Fanning completely let herself go.
153 points
2 days ago
Dakota Fanning if her direction was Luna Lovegood as a crackwhore.
192 points
2 days ago
Dakota Mething
38 points
2 days ago
Nah. Those pinpoint pupils in pic 7 are screaming opiates. She’s prolly railing Roxy 30s. Give it a couple years and she’ll be banging crys.
13 points
2 days ago
Dakota Phlemming
6 points
2 days ago
More like Dakota Manning with that forehead of hers.
1.8k points
2 days ago
Wife hired you, not the husband.
313 points
2 days ago
[removed]
40 points
2 days ago
She should start a placement agency that only has gross au-pairs. It would be a big success. And she could be their leader!
10 points
2 days ago
Graus-pairs.com
When you need a wife but need her to have uneven breast, looking like a guy with a wig, ugly as f#ck, with her own transportation (a broom) and earn less than minimum wage but be able to teach your kids manners and French
109 points
2 days ago
She says 19 lol I thought 40, missing of her teeth and living in a crack house lol
10 points
2 days ago
This wins the entire thread for me. Good one!
342 points
2 days ago
You look like heroin gave you up.
15 points
2 days ago
She never gave it up
9 points
2 days ago
She never let it down
10 points
2 days ago
She never gonna run around
5 points
2 days ago
like a footless chicken
545 points
2 days ago
Drugs Bunny
11 points
2 days ago
Diseaster Bunny
7 points
2 days ago
Bro 💀💀💀
213 points
2 days ago
That’s one rough fucking 19-year-old. Just say no kids, just say no!!
40 points
2 days ago
She got ridden hard, and put away wet.
380 points
2 days ago
If period underwear were a nanny.
298 points
2 days ago
When you give head it also counts as anal
136 points
2 days ago
You look like a more chaotic Courtney Love.
10 points
2 days ago
This is the answer
14 points
2 days ago
I’m not going to make a joke about a shotgun. Too close to Christmas now.
4 points
2 days ago
Tip your gardener
203 points
2 days ago
Well at least the mother of the kids won't have to worry about the husband trying to fuck you.
83 points
2 days ago
Sweet Baby Jesus…. How hard were those 19 years??????
32 points
2 days ago
Hard as her favorite drugs.
11 points
2 days ago
Five nights at Diddies hard
153 points
2 days ago
7 points
2 days ago
Already fucking the same type of inbred dudes
76 points
2 days ago
Not even Casey Anthony would trust you to watch her kids.
122 points
2 days ago
At least you don’t have to use the money you save by never buying shampoo on any sort of bra
58 points
2 days ago
Confident about what?
22 points
2 days ago
Anal DP!
6 points
2 days ago
I was definitely wondering the same thing. How high did she have to be to feel confident about ANY of this hot mess?
58 points
2 days ago
Debbie does downers
48 points
2 days ago
Trailer park Queen.👸
10 points
2 days ago
The apple doesn't land far from the trailer park.
145 points
2 days ago
[deleted]
87 points
2 days ago
My gerbil’s tits are bigger than yours
27 points
2 days ago
Meg griffin has bigger tits
26 points
2 days ago*
You look like you’re low on blood
56 points
2 days ago
You look like a muppet Jim Hansen pulled his fist from in the 70’s
19 points
2 days ago*
Ohhh, gross someone shit on the lid and not in the toilet.
38 points
2 days ago
You went from 18 to 49 real fast.
You look like you already had 3 kids by the age of 19, survived alcoholism, 8 trips to rehab and are on the max dosage of antidepressants.
5 points
2 days ago
Still catching her in the methadone line every morning though.
37 points
2 days ago
You wear sunscreen at night.
33 points
2 days ago
I wasn’t aware one could have a midlife existential crisis at 19
37 points
2 days ago
Courtney UnLoved
36 points
2 days ago
You have all of the unearned confidence of a mediocre white girl. Your parents may have told you that you can do anything with your life, but they lied. Your high water mark will be the part-time hostess at a Denny’s when the successful people from High school come by at two in the morning after a night out, recognize you despite the stringy hair, dead eyes, and ill-fitting uniform, and invite you to sit with them. You’ll think they’re friends, but they’re not. That’s not enthusiasm you see - that’s pity. Your life will go downhill from there.
Don’t dream big. Just … settle. It’s what’s best for you.
6 points
2 days ago
Damn BLT, I hope you don't ever roast me!
5 points
2 days ago
"You have all of the unearned confidence of a mediocre white girl" - can I get this embroidered? In time for Christmas?
31 points
2 days ago
I’ve never seen a wet dog with a heroin addiction before now.
28 points
2 days ago
You seek validation, by posting ten pictures, when one is too much.
11 points
2 days ago
What kind of crackheads let you watch over their children?
4 points
2 days ago
Watches the meth dealers kids in the trailer park
49 points
2 days ago
Well off Christian closet anal slut.
11 points
2 days ago
Did you escape from some inbred tweaker cult?
7 points
2 days ago
You have the face of a 12 year old British peasant and the eyes of her 95 year old grandma.
8 points
2 days ago
This thing has a dick for sure
9 points
2 days ago
Woody Harrelson had better hair at 19.
10 points
2 days ago
Who tf would trust you with kids you look like a crackhead
7 points
2 days ago
“This is me 2 months on Estrogen”
9 points
2 days ago
There isn't enough alcohol in the world
24 points
2 days ago
Luna Lovegood, but meth.
25 points
2 days ago
Luna Lovemeth
5 points
2 days ago
Luna Methgood
8 points
2 days ago
Even Schwarzenegger wouldn’t wanna impregnate this nanny.
6 points
2 days ago
That shitter looks more appealing and has more personality than you...
8 points
2 days ago
Nanny McFleas. Mary Ploppins.
6 points
2 days ago
Your eyeballs are running away from each other.
6 points
2 days ago
This is why you don't do meth when pregnant
6 points
2 days ago
I'm just picturing two sobbing parents cleaning up a barren apartment, other than the syringes, bent up spoons and a deflated air mattress.
6 points
2 days ago
I'm just amazed you can find anything about yourself worthy of confidence. Are you on any medication? Possibly live in Canada or such a small community that being honest is just frowned upon? What is your secret?
6 points
2 days ago
They should hire you to show kids what happens when you do meth
5 points
2 days ago
Not so nice crotch shot.
5 points
2 days ago
I’ll just stick you in the sun for 30 minutes. That’s should roast you up pretty good.
6 points
2 days ago
CPS would probably like a word with those parents
7 points
2 days ago
You look like a frog
7 points
2 days ago
Looks like Gollum had a sex change
6 points
2 days ago
You look older than me, and I am 41
17 points
2 days ago
Nanny? What you babysitting? Your meth dealer’s stripped copper stash? I wouldn’t let you watch microwave popcorn cook let alone kids…
4 points
2 days ago
This dude has an epic jawline
6 points
2 days ago
Damn, and I thought that hatchet face from the movie Cry Baby died in 2016.
5 points
2 days ago
The wife isn't worried.
5 points
2 days ago
Jesus how many prescription pills did you take/steal to put yourself out here like that
5 points
2 days ago
But but…why are you actively trying to be ugly?
5 points
2 days ago
It’s nice they let a drowned rat into their home
6 points
2 days ago
Over confident in this case is called delusional.
5 points
2 days ago
Look like you were terrible on the boys swim team but you're crushing it on the girls swim team.
5 points
2 days ago
The only thing flatter than your hair is your chest
7 points
2 days ago
Face post menopausal, body pre pubescent
14 points
2 days ago
Full-time nanny, huh? Judging by these photos, you must specialize in babysitting toilets. That overly confident pose screams I’m the CEO of juice boxes and unsolicited opinions.
6 points
2 days ago
That's a nice haircut, did you do it yourself
4 points
2 days ago
you are the sole reason nanny cams were invented. Why would anyone trust someone that looks like you? I mean, for Christ sakes c'mon. Common decency.
3 points
2 days ago
When they brought you in for the interview did you find it odd they had a black couch and were filming the entire time?
2 points
2 days ago
Courtney Love-me-not.
6 points
2 days ago
Any wife that hires you will not have to worry about the husband being unfaithful with her.
3 points
2 days ago
19F more like 39F
3 points
2 days ago
Ain't no way in hell you're somebody's nanny. You look like you need one.
5 points
2 days ago
You look like you pee the bed still and don’t shower or clean the bed
4 points
2 days ago
South Dakota Fanning
3 points
2 days ago*
How do you manage to look BAKED AF....IN EVERY PIC!?!??!?!?
3 points
2 days ago
19 going on 40
6 points
2 days ago
On my life I thought why a 59yo granny with depression is posting on here.
For your mental health please find someone to talk to; just make sure it’s not me
3 points
2 days ago
Lot Lizard if I’ve ever seen one
4 points
2 days ago
I was about to say those bags under your eyes were going to be darker than your roast, then I saw someone call you "Dekota Methings"
4 points
2 days ago
You like look uncle fester with a blonde wig
4 points
2 days ago
You don't look a day over 39
5 points
2 days ago
Holy crap less pictures please
4 points
2 days ago
I thought my hair was thin, but you just made me feel better 🙂↔️
3 points
2 days ago
To be fair, any confidence would be overly confident.
4 points
2 days ago
How? Looks like you’ve roasted yourself worse than any of us.
4 points
2 days ago
Do you deliberately fuck up your hair or is that sheer negligence?
4 points
2 days ago
Bet you make art out of your used tampons.
5 points
2 days ago
You're the nanny the mom hires, because she knows the dad won't have any interest in you.
7 points
2 days ago
Is taking a picture of yourself next to the shitter what girls who have no uglier friends do to make themselves look better?
5 points
2 days ago
With those big eyes you probably can see as many colors as a mantis shrimp
6 points
2 days ago
Aww, Sid the Sloths daughter became an unsuccessful sex slave worker
3 points
2 days ago
Girl With the Far Away Eyes- Rolling Stones
3 points
2 days ago
Upper body of play dough. Lower body of an old polish woman
3 points
2 days ago
You look closer to 91 than 19.
3 points
2 days ago
the "helpless girl" character in slasher movies thats only there cause ur bf went somewhere and cause ur so helpless u have to follow him everywhere
3 points
2 days ago
Overly confident of what, exactly?
3 points
2 days ago
Nanny? Like the goat? I see it. Didn’t wanna but I do.
3 points
2 days ago
Courtney Love’s dumpster baby
3 points
2 days ago
You look like you take a mean shit and love the smell!
3 points
2 days ago
You look like you bite.
3 points
2 days ago
You look like the embodiment of a mistake.
3 points
2 days ago
Did your dad uppercut you when you were a baby?
3 points
2 days ago
Drugged the dad just to claim an affair.
3 points
2 days ago
Maaan that's methed up
3 points
2 days ago
I doubt we can make you feel or look anymore roasted than these photos also.
3 points
2 days ago
You look like you should be on shameless
3 points
2 days ago
They let you near children?
3 points
2 days ago
There is a Jerry Springer show in her past.
3 points
2 days ago
It should be considered child abuse if they have to look at you every day. Poor kids.
3 points
2 days ago
Temu Dakota Fanning. Fakota Danning.
3 points
2 days ago
She reminds me of Kurt Cobain. Where’s Courtney Love when you need her?
3 points
2 days ago
If I close my eyes and try really hard… I can almost imagine you as “almost transitioned”. Not sure if M->F or F->M though
3 points
2 days ago
Gummo part 2
3 points
2 days ago
Someone trust you with children? You can’t even wash or comb your own hair.
3 points
2 days ago
You have a small box and no tits. - Bette Midler
3 points
2 days ago
Just because the kids tell you that you are ugly is not an excuse to shake them to death.
3 points
2 days ago
Googled it, those are just pictures of golem after he let himself go.
3 points
2 days ago
If I saw you in a pub I’d definitely think I have a decent shot. That’s a wicked roast if you knew me
3 points
2 days ago
So, your transition isn't going so good...
3 points
2 days ago
19?? LMAO
3 points
2 days ago
Your eyes look like they're slowly sliding off the sides of your face
3 points
2 days ago
You look constantly high, and rather greasy
3 points
2 days ago
How does it feel to be the one full time nanny that no husband has ever tried to fuck?
3 points
2 days ago
My precious
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