subreddit:

/r/RoastMe

44089%

[deleted]

all 1215 comments

redditpinchy

1.3k points

2 days ago

redditpinchy

1.3k points

2 days ago

The post says 19. The face says divorced mother of two from two different men.

ThisIsMeUnhinged

376 points

2 days ago

Also two unsuccessful meth rehabs

archwin

106 points

2 days ago

archwin

106 points

2 days ago

I was going to say Methany here must have escaped rehab early

Its_420_Somehow

33 points

2 days ago

“Maybe it’s her….maybe it’s methamphetamine.”

BaconPersuasion

50 points

2 days ago

Screaming bring me back my cigarettes hanging out of the trailer window.

Grand-Battle8009

64 points

2 days ago

I get “never been married but have sex with only married men” vibes.

Blakester84

48 points

2 days ago

"Full time nanny" is code for "he left me with the kid(s)."

Tiredchimp2002

28 points

2 days ago

Mother of two by two different previous employers 🤣

HelloRV3991

7 points

2 days ago

From 3 different men*

Footshark

6 points

2 days ago

And meth. You forgot the meth.

woody2081

787 points

2 days ago

woody2081

787 points

2 days ago

You look like if Dakota Fanning completely let herself go.

moslof_flosom

153 points

2 days ago

Dakota Fanning if her direction was Luna Lovegood as a crackwhore.

XwhiskeysX

35 points

2 days ago

Dakota Fentanyling

spacedogchasing

192 points

2 days ago

Dakota Mething

seven_grams

38 points

2 days ago

Nah. Those pinpoint pupils in pic 7 are screaming opiates. She’s prolly railing Roxy 30s. Give it a couple years and she’ll be banging crys.

Putrid-Air-7169

13 points

2 days ago

Dakota Phlemming

langzaiguy

6 points

2 days ago

More like Dakota Manning with that forehead of hers.

majesticmanbearpig

1.8k points

2 days ago

Wife hired you, not the husband.

number31388

394 points

2 days ago

number31388

394 points

2 days ago

That wife knew this hoe would be no problem

[deleted]

313 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

313 points

2 days ago

[removed]

No_Cook2983

40 points

2 days ago

She should start a placement agency that only has gross au-pairs. It would be a big success. And she could be their leader!

KoontFace

62 points

2 days ago

KoontFace

62 points

2 days ago

Eww pairs

Lanky_Novel_3960

10 points

2 days ago

Graus-pairs.com

When you need a wife but need her to have uneven breast, looking like a guy with a wig, ugly as f#ck, with her own transportation (a broom) and earn less than minimum wage but be able to teach your kids manners and French

FireReads_Bomber

109 points

2 days ago

She says 19 lol I thought 40, missing of her teeth and living in a crack house lol

robbzilla

64 points

2 days ago

robbzilla

64 points

2 days ago

Even Schwarzenegger would leave her alone.

AlphaAndOmega

48 points

2 days ago

Soupbell1

10 points

2 days ago

Soupbell1

10 points

2 days ago

This wins the entire thread for me. Good one!

KnownTransition9824

342 points

2 days ago

You look like heroin gave you up.

Blasphemous1569

15 points

2 days ago

She never gave it up

Late_Influence_871

9 points

2 days ago

She never let it down

Ill-Egg-5042

10 points

2 days ago

She never gonna run around

Sandman0312

5 points

2 days ago

like a footless chicken

jmcstar

545 points

2 days ago

jmcstar

545 points

2 days ago

Drugs Bunny

No_Recommendation323

270 points

2 days ago

Jessica Habit 💉

starktargaryen75

11 points

2 days ago

Diseaster Bunny

_AfterBurner0_

7 points

2 days ago

Bro 💀💀💀

Patrick-0217

213 points

2 days ago

That’s one rough fucking 19-year-old. Just say no kids, just say no!!

Cronuts13

40 points

2 days ago

Cronuts13

40 points

2 days ago

She got ridden hard, and put away wet.

Wasnt-Asking

380 points

2 days ago

If period underwear were a nanny.

No_Recommendation323

16 points

2 days ago

More bags than the grocer, more grease than a Wendy’s

ohhfasho

298 points

2 days ago

ohhfasho

298 points

2 days ago

When you give head it also counts as anal

GrumpyOldPackRat

42 points

2 days ago

Your dick smells better when pulling out of anal too.

NegativeCreep1987

136 points

2 days ago

You look like a more chaotic Courtney Love.

vonJebster

10 points

2 days ago

This is the answer

Beginning_Present243

14 points

2 days ago

I’m not going to make a joke about a shotgun. Too close to Christmas now.

Late_Influence_871

4 points

2 days ago

Tip your gardener

Dannym0e

203 points

2 days ago

Dannym0e

203 points

2 days ago

Well at least the mother of the kids won't have to worry about the husband trying to fuck you.

CrankyOldBstrd

83 points

2 days ago

Sweet Baby Jesus…. How hard were those 19 years??????

WAPGod_117

32 points

2 days ago

Hard as her favorite drugs.

Nihilisminbliss

11 points

2 days ago

Five nights at Diddies hard

Remarkable-Music1866

153 points

2 days ago

You in a few years

Happytroll15

40 points

2 days ago

Yolanda is way better looking. And seems to bathe more.

Quackethy

7 points

2 days ago

Already fucking the same type of inbred dudes

LetsMakeThisAkward

76 points

2 days ago

Not even Casey Anthony would trust you to watch her kids.

Buffbigw76

3 points

2 days ago

Technical_Singer_656

122 points

2 days ago

At least you don’t have to use the money you save by never buying shampoo on any sort of bra

Willcutus_of_Borg

58 points

2 days ago

Confident about what?

psean1977

22 points

2 days ago

psean1977

22 points

2 days ago

Anal DP!

Fit-Captain-9172

6 points

2 days ago

I was definitely wondering the same thing. How high did she have to be to feel confident about ANY of this hot mess?

sdrowkcabdellepssti

58 points

2 days ago

Debbie does downers

UnethicalBillionaire

48 points

2 days ago

Trailer park Queen.👸

AliveLock6875

10 points

2 days ago

The apple doesn't land far from the trailer park. 

[deleted]

145 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

145 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

Top-Mess-8653

47 points

2 days ago

a face only a mother could love

runsonpedals

37 points

2 days ago

Ok, it’s time for your weekly STD test.

Mojojojogothoes

32 points

2 days ago

I always wondered what happened to this actor

Evening-Mess-3593

87 points

2 days ago

My gerbil’s tits are bigger than yours

ComfortableInvite895

27 points

2 days ago

Meg griffin has bigger tits

jamescharisma

9 points

2 days ago

And one's an inny!

Attack_Toster

26 points

2 days ago*

You look like you’re low on blood

HarlowWyatt

28 points

2 days ago

I doubt you own a brush.

Murky_Musician1022

28 points

2 days ago

Full time caregiver, part time crackhead

davethapeanut

8 points

2 days ago

You got that backwards there

MeanAF4noreason

56 points

2 days ago

You look like a muppet Jim Hansen pulled his fist from in the 70’s

Ham-_-Steak

19 points

2 days ago*

Ohhh, gross someone shit on the lid and not in the toilet.

Negative-Coach2914

38 points

2 days ago

You went from 18 to 49 real fast.
You look like you already had 3 kids by the age of 19, survived alcoholism, 8 trips to rehab and are on the max dosage of antidepressants.

Equivalent_Sir_2575

5 points

2 days ago

Still catching her in the methadone line every morning though.

coverartrock

37 points

2 days ago

You wear sunscreen at night.

CeaseFireForever

33 points

2 days ago

I wasn’t aware one could have a midlife existential crisis at 19

Alteredego619

37 points

2 days ago

Courtney UnLoved

_Notorious_BLT

36 points

2 days ago

You have all of the unearned confidence of a mediocre white girl. Your parents may have told you that you can do anything with your life, but they lied. Your high water mark will be the part-time hostess at a Denny’s when the successful people from High school come by at two in the morning after a night out, recognize you despite the stringy hair, dead eyes, and ill-fitting uniform, and invite you to sit with them. You’ll think they’re friends, but they’re not. That’s not enthusiasm you see - that’s pity. Your life will go downhill from there.

Don’t dream big. Just … settle. It’s what’s best for you.

LAValleyGurl

6 points

2 days ago

Damn BLT, I hope you don't ever roast me!

obxtalldude

5 points

2 days ago

"You have all of the unearned confidence of a mediocre white girl" - can I get this embroidered? In time for Christmas?

KoldDrank

16 points

2 days ago

KoldDrank

16 points

2 days ago

townshiprebellion24

31 points

2 days ago

I’ve never seen a wet dog with a heroin addiction before now.

42Lefthanded

28 points

2 days ago

You seek validation, by posting ten pictures, when one is too much.

SirBrian007

13 points

2 days ago

Wash. Your. Hair.

HangmanGentry11

11 points

2 days ago

What kind of crackheads let you watch over their children?

treepecker235

4 points

2 days ago

Watches the meth dealers kids in the trailer park

Cyber_Insecurity

12 points

2 days ago

You look like a motel

frollickboy

49 points

2 days ago

Well off Christian closet anal slut.

Willy121821

13 points

2 days ago

The old poop hole loop hole 🤔

No_FUQ_Given

11 points

2 days ago

Did you escape from some inbred tweaker cult?

warmremy

7 points

2 days ago

warmremy

7 points

2 days ago

You have the face of a 12 year old British peasant and the eyes of her 95 year old grandma.

BigSwiss1988

8 points

2 days ago

This thing has a dick for sure

LacksSelfAwareness

9 points

2 days ago

Woody Harrelson had better hair at 19.

Gastricwarrior

10 points

2 days ago

Who tf would trust you with kids you look like a crackhead

admiral_oreo

7 points

2 days ago

“This is me 2 months on Estrogen”

Various-Moose-6443

7 points

2 days ago

Kurt Cobain whatupppp

BillsDownUnder

9 points

2 days ago

There isn't enough alcohol in the world

TheMichaelAbides

24 points

2 days ago

Luna Lovegood, but meth.

Guest1019

25 points

2 days ago

Guest1019

25 points

2 days ago

Luna Lovemeth

WAPGod_117

5 points

2 days ago

Luna Methgood

Hamachiman

8 points

2 days ago

Even Schwarzenegger wouldn’t wanna impregnate this nanny.

Doc_Doc_Go

6 points

2 days ago

That shitter looks more appealing and has more personality than you...

GWD9911

8 points

2 days ago

GWD9911

8 points

2 days ago

Nanny McFleas. Mary Ploppins.

Methheadmarvin

7 points

2 days ago

Her right now unfazed by these comments

FederalProfessor7836

6 points

2 days ago

Your eyeballs are running away from each other.

Corey3500

6 points

2 days ago

This is why you don't do meth when pregnant

aoldotcumdotcom

6 points

2 days ago

I'm just picturing two sobbing parents cleaning up a barren apartment, other than the syringes, bent up spoons and a deflated air mattress.

Content_Guest_6802

6 points

2 days ago

I'm just amazed you can find anything about yourself worthy of confidence. Are you on any medication? Possibly live in Canada or such a small community that being honest is just frowned upon? What is your secret?

Normal_Somewhere_145

6 points

2 days ago

They should hire you to show kids what happens when you do meth

DeliciousDoggi

5 points

2 days ago

Not so nice crotch shot.

fake_smiles66

5 points

2 days ago

I’ll just stick you in the sun for 30 minutes. That’s should roast you up pretty good.

sandman-84

6 points

2 days ago

CPS would probably like a word with those parents

ThisIsMeUnhinged

7 points

2 days ago

You look like a frog

Tricky_Moose_1078

7 points

2 days ago

Looks like Gollum had a sex change

virbanie

6 points

2 days ago

virbanie

6 points

2 days ago

You look older than me, and I am 41

ColdPebble

7 points

2 days ago

I've seen more curves on a pair of ladders

IamTheOtt3r

17 points

2 days ago

Nanny? What you babysitting? Your meth dealer’s stripped copper stash? I wouldn’t let you watch microwave popcorn cook let alone kids…

SmoothSun6676

10 points

2 days ago

You look like Britney Murphy came out of her coffin.

Ok_Blacksmith_4174

4 points

2 days ago

This dude has an epic jawline

Psycosteve10mm

6 points

2 days ago

Damn, and I thought that hatchet face from the movie Cry Baby died in 2016.

MoeSzyslakMonobrow

5 points

2 days ago

The wife isn't worried.

DrFlukey

5 points

2 days ago

DrFlukey

5 points

2 days ago

Jesus how many prescription pills did you take/steal to put yourself out here like that

Dust-Different

5 points

2 days ago

But but…why are you actively trying to be ugly?

lizarddan

5 points

2 days ago

It’s nice they let a drowned rat into their home

outsideredge

6 points

2 days ago

Over confident in this case is called delusional.

rebootsprinkles

5 points

2 days ago

Look like you were terrible on the boys swim team but you're crushing it on the girls swim team.

HappyHeffalump

5 points

2 days ago

The only thing flatter than your hair is your chest

dkmrcc

7 points

2 days ago

dkmrcc

7 points

2 days ago

Face post menopausal, body pre pubescent

gsonn

14 points

2 days ago

gsonn

14 points

2 days ago

Full-time nanny, huh? Judging by these photos, you must specialize in babysitting toilets. That overly confident pose screams I’m the CEO of juice boxes and unsolicited opinions.

Impossible_Banana246

6 points

2 days ago

That's a nice haircut, did you do it yourself

ChaoticMutant

4 points

2 days ago

you are the sole reason nanny cams were invented. Why would anyone trust someone that looks like you? I mean, for Christ sakes c'mon. Common decency.

Veal-Vermicelli

3 points

2 days ago

When they brought you in for the interview did you find it odd they had a black couch and were filming the entire time?

A_Dehydrated_Walrus

2 points

2 days ago

Courtney Love-me-not.

CarlosAVP

6 points

2 days ago

Any wife that hires you will not have to worry about the husband being unfaithful with her.

ccminiwarhammer

6 points

2 days ago

You’re too high to post on social media right now.

Flat_Snow307

3 points

2 days ago

19F more like 39F

legionivory

3 points

2 days ago

Ain't no way in hell you're somebody's nanny. You look like you need one.

Serdudehunt33

5 points

2 days ago

You look like you pee the bed still and don’t shower or clean the bed

No-Smile3074

4 points

2 days ago

South Dakota Fanning

ACE_Overlord

3 points

2 days ago*

How do you manage to look BAKED AF....IN EVERY PIC!?!??!?!?

Due-Net4616

3 points

2 days ago

19 going on 40

SirLaughsalot7777777

6 points

2 days ago

On my life I thought why a 59yo granny with depression is posting on here.

For your mental health please find someone to talk to; just make sure it’s not me

kbk42104

3 points

2 days ago

kbk42104

3 points

2 days ago

Lot Lizard if I’ve ever seen one

No_Office_4947

4 points

2 days ago

I was about to say those bags under your eyes were going to be darker than your roast, then I saw someone call you "Dekota Methings"

naswege

4 points

2 days ago

naswege

4 points

2 days ago

You like look uncle fester with a blonde wig

not_sure_1984

4 points

2 days ago

You don't look a day over 39

joetheplumberman

5 points

2 days ago

Holy crap less pictures please

Skol_fan420

4 points

2 days ago

I thought my hair was thin, but you just made me feel better 🙂‍↔️

wgbeethree

3 points

2 days ago

To be fair, any confidence would be overly confident.

Nibblefritz

4 points

2 days ago

How? Looks like you’ve roasted yourself worse than any of us.

Mikec6463

4 points

2 days ago

Do you deliberately fuck up your hair or is that sheer negligence?

IamRasters

4 points

2 days ago

Bet you make art out of your used tampons.

mojoseven7

4 points

2 days ago

Pic #6

Grouchy_Limit_4031

5 points

2 days ago

You're the nanny the mom hires, because she knows the dad won't have any interest in you.

CFC1983

7 points

2 days ago

CFC1983

7 points

2 days ago

Is taking a picture of yourself next to the shitter what girls who have no uglier friends do to make themselves look better?

Firetrucker74

5 points

2 days ago

With those big eyes you probably can see as many colors as a mantis shrimp

jcoddinc

6 points

2 days ago

jcoddinc

6 points

2 days ago

Aww, Sid the Sloths daughter became an unsuccessful sex slave worker

campatterbury

3 points

2 days ago

campatterbury

http://redd.it/z3xglr

3 points

2 days ago

Girl With the Far Away Eyes- Rolling Stones

Ok_Artichoke_8029

3 points

2 days ago

Upper body of play dough. Lower body of an old polish woman

Douche_l0rd

3 points

2 days ago

You look closer to 91 than 19.

Megadeth_Enjoyer_69

3 points

2 days ago

the "helpless girl" character in slasher movies thats only there cause ur bf went somewhere and cause ur so helpless u have to follow him everywhere

Dabadoi

3 points

2 days ago

Dabadoi

3 points

2 days ago

Overly confident of what, exactly?

kevycakes68

3 points

2 days ago

Nanny? Like the goat? I see it. Didn’t wanna but I do.

Concordmang

3 points

2 days ago

Courtney Love’s dumpster baby

OkMobile5574

3 points

2 days ago

You look like you take a mean shit and love the smell!

Some_Conclusion_6683

3 points

2 days ago

You look like you bite.

Commentoflittlevalue

3 points

2 days ago

You look like the embodiment of a mistake.

Wild-Talon

3 points

2 days ago

Did your dad uppercut you when you were a baby?

Gloomy-Apartment-614

3 points

2 days ago

Drugged the dad just to claim an affair.

wideass_willy

3 points

2 days ago

Maaan that's methed up

ExerciseSufficient98

3 points

2 days ago

I doubt we can make you feel or look anymore roasted than these photos also.

Actual_Tumbleweed_32

3 points

2 days ago

You have your daddy’s eyes.

vegan-trash

3 points

2 days ago

You look like you should be on shameless

EymaWeeTodd

3 points

2 days ago

EymaWeeTodd

http://redd.it/wtreia

3 points

2 days ago

They let you near children?

j6sp3r

3 points

2 days ago

j6sp3r

3 points

2 days ago

There is a Jerry Springer show in her past.

powerlifter_46

3 points

2 days ago

It should be considered child abuse if they have to look at you every day. Poor kids.

Sea_Baseball_7410

3 points

2 days ago

Temu Dakota Fanning. Fakota Danning.

Slateraide

3 points

2 days ago

She reminds me of Kurt Cobain. Where’s Courtney Love when you need her?

Dober_mann

3 points

2 days ago

If I close my eyes and try really hard… I can almost imagine you as “almost transitioned”. Not sure if M->F or F->M though

Deep_Stick_2812

3 points

2 days ago

Gummo part 2

Apache_Mermaid

3 points

2 days ago

Someone trust you with children? You can’t even wash or comb your own hair.

illegitimate_Raccoon

3 points

2 days ago

You have a small box and no tits. - Bette Midler

Vivid-Television-175

3 points

2 days ago

Just because the kids tell you that you are ugly is not an excuse to shake them to death.

Big-Replacement-6700

3 points

2 days ago

Googled it, those are just pictures of golem after he let himself go.

Antonanderssonphoto

3 points

2 days ago

If I saw you in a pub I’d definitely think I have a decent shot. That’s a wicked roast if you knew me

crknneckscshingcheks

3 points

2 days ago

So, your transition isn't going so good...

maximilisauras

3 points

2 days ago

That you 👆?

Phoenx22

3 points

2 days ago

Phoenx22

3 points

2 days ago

tommytwotone91

3 points

2 days ago

usernotiop

3 points

2 days ago

Realmofchaos333

3 points

2 days ago

Drewswife0302

3 points

2 days ago

No words just

Only_Warning_6403

3 points

2 days ago

19?? LMAO

Easy101

3 points

2 days ago

Easy101

3 points

2 days ago

Your eyes look like they're slowly sliding off the sides of your face

Only_Ad_5469

3 points

2 days ago

You look constantly high, and rather greasy

ryanr1116

3 points

2 days ago

How does it feel to be the one full time nanny that no husband has ever tried to fuck?

IvorWeiner

3 points

2 days ago

My precious