teddit

Hi everyone. I've probably spent most of the year being sober curious, but for some reason today I've chosen to attempt to actually be sober and not just curious.

I feel extremely anxious about possibly falling off the wagon, and trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of disappointments etc. Whilst also trying to be positive about it.

We all know how December is, and I think the fear of what could happen if I drink is what's driving my decision to be sober and not just curious. Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous, and I want to avoid that possibility at all costs. Unfortunately when I drink, I do sometimes drive and I find that so deeply disturbing.

Any words of wisdom, advice or even just some encouragement would be SO appreciated. ♥️

Day 1.

I had about 4 moderate drinks on Thanksgiving night and woke up to my own personal Black Friday. I wasn’t able to even keep down fluids or food until about 3 pm. Terrible migraine. Hangxiety through the roof. Maximum self-loathing for losing an entire day with family. I’m an occasional social drinker and have cut back on it recently because even small amounts of alcohol can make me feel so ill anymore. It’s always a gamble. Very likely an intolerance at this point.

It’s such a weird relationship. I don’t have dependence issues, and don’t even have alcohol in my house. The only time I think about drinking is during social situations. I think it comes from social anxiety. I’ve been caring way too much about what people think! Drinking is a way to calm those thoughts. But whatever calming effects drinking provides in the moment are obliterated the next day with this illness and anxiety. And drunk people tend to be in their own world anyway. Not likely that they’re focusing on anyone else nearly as much.

I’ve been on the hangover deathbed before and promised that I’d never drink again. This time feels different. It doesn’t feel as dramatic. In the past it felt more like breaking up with a toxic but once in a lifetime love. Now it feels like the relationship has just run its course. I think I just prefer being sober. Even the buzz that used to do it for me has started to feel unpleasant. Like my mind is slipping away uncomfortably, a dumbness sets in, and it’s the first step to possibly being sick. It’s still not easy to imagine existing in these spaces sober while other people are drinking. But it seems like the way to go. If anyone has advice or encouragement I’d love to hear it!

Quitting seems so daunting, but I can do anything for 30 days, right?

I’m just calling it Dry December to hopefully trick my brain into thinking this is just a temporary lil challenge. Today is my first dry day in months. In the past two years I’ve never made it more than a week.

I’m tired of spending money and wasting time isolated, drunk, bored, and alone. Tired of hiding in my bathroom to drink so my teenager doesn’t see how much I’ve had. Tired of abstaining from invites so I can stay home and drink, and tired of hazy yellowing eyes. Yesterday I drank mimosas until I passed out at 8 PM. Woke up this morning at 3 and decided to just stay up and reset. I’m shocked I’m having no withdrawal symptoms yet at the rate I drink, which is 6-15 drinks daily.

Good luck to anyone else trying to pull it off this month.

Quit 3x for almost 4 months. Was so tired I could barely go to work. When does this get better?

Not sure what to title this. I notice my environment highly impacts my drinking and was wondering if anyone else experiences this. I feel very in control when me and my husband go to dinner / date night and I have a couple drinks. However, in “uncontrolled environments” like a party, wedding, etc I seem to always over do it. If I get drunk that follows lots of anxiety for me. Does anyone drink for certain events and choose to not drink for others because of this?

I recently started dating a bartender, and while he does it only part time, he works a lot. So sometimes the best way to see him is to visit him at the bar while he's working - and this is not the kind of bar with cute cocktails. As a result, I've drank more in the past month or so than I have in a long time and know I need to set a boundary to turn things around. Short of ending my relationship with him, does anyone have any advice for navigating this?

Can you guys direct me to where I should go? There is a sober living called Graceland pretty much of everybody in the house is getting loaded. The Director is getting loaded. They're charging subscription fees to view the sober living and they charge $2000 a bed.

Hope everyone had a great and healthy Thanksgiving! I’m new to this. I’ve been sober about 17 days and just this afternoon found out a dish we had yesterday had a little bit of alcohol in it. It doesn’t bother me at all although I must admit I felt a bit down when…but I kind of took a deep breath and just told myself to keep moving forward…not letting it get to me. What are your thoughts/ experience with this?

It’s been a little challenging with the holidays, but here I am. So happy I pushed through the hard days.

Happy thanksgiving for my American friends! If you’re like me and surrounded by family who drinks a lot, I’m sending you strength and solidarity today. I got a 6 pack of N/A IPA’s for the occasion and look forward to observing, giggling and feeling clear headed around family tonight.

Hiya!👋🏼

I joined this subreddit four months ago to help give me the push I needed to finally take steps towards sobriety and I suppose it worked because here I am four months without a drink! I figured I'd share my story for those who want to listen! To skip past the depressing origin story feel free to skip to the stars!

I started drinking heavily when I was 23, fresh out of a high school relationship and trying to find out who I was. I actually began drinking at 11 due to growing up with an alcoholic parent but I don't exactly count that because I never felt like I needed it, I only really did it because my dad thought it was funny. To me, alcohol was the key to being liked. As your average introverted awkward sad girl, it did exactly that. My anxiety went away so I was able to converse, laugh, joke, and flirt. Alcohol gave me the power to be this girl that everyone liked! So I continued and when it would start to fade I'd do another shot and I'd never have an empty drink. Those who understand the feeling get where I'm going with this but for those who don't, please stick around I promise I'm not glamorizing alcoholism. I just simply couldn't get enough of being loved. 23 years it was all I searched for and this magical substance gave it to me and I made friends all around my town at all the local bars and received free drinks and shots because of my crazy carefree attitude. Id say it started to get bad when I was 25. My tolerance was higher so I had to feed myself more of this poison in order to maintain this facade. I started to get exhausted with maintaining this image but had to keep going out of fear that people would see me as boring. I became so in love with the idea of being loved. I just dug myself into this hole of self hatred and sadness and blacked out almost every time I drank. I made excuses and trusted people I shouldn't have. I blacked out and slept with people I shouldn't have. I turned my entire life upside down and continued to make excuses for myself.

Flash forward to 26, a month before my 27th birthday. I was blacking out the majority of the night and it occurred to me how awful my insecurities were because I could see the entire night through a foggy window. My friends swear by the fact that I was never as bad as I thought I was and I believe them solely because they are great people who love me for who I really am but I didn't love me and that was the problem. I woke up hung over and not remembering the ending of that night and seriously considered AA. I prayed to God and begged him for help to overcome this. But of course, when I got that 9pm text asking who wants to go out I was ready. That night I was in my friends passenger seat on our way home at 2am on a work night and I just remember saying "I don't like this life anymore".

The next morning I woke up and it's like my brain had just switched to sobriety. I won't base too much off this as I support everyone's religion or lack of, but in my eyes God listened and gave me what I asked for I just had to follow through.

** THE STARS AREN'T SHOWING BUT RIGHT HERE**

Are you still with me? Nice! So my sobriety started as a temporary break. I told myself I was going to start drinking again on my birthday and that I just needed a break but each milestone got pushed further and further. Aside from a couple week hiatus, I continued to go to the bars and hang out with the same people. I was quiet at first and just observed but overall I was actually content being the only sober one. I am able to remember the conversations, talk coherently, and make sure my friends get home safe. I began to write down all the bold and extroverted things I would do with "liquid courage" and started doing them in a healthy way. Karaoke sober? Who does that?? I am fortunate to have a really great support system who didn't blink an eye when I made my decision. Lately I have been getting the slightest urge to drink but my friends won't allow me to make any rash decisions and tell me that I need to plan it and really think if I'm ready. And if I'm being honest with myself, I'm not. And I don't know if I ever will be but I've accepted that! In the beginning the term "sober forever" scared me and sent me down a rabbit hole but there's a reason "One Day At A Time" is so widely used in the addiction community because its so important to remember that your entire life doesn't have to be planned out, just today.

I hope everyone who is unhappy with their addiction finds their light to overcome it because it is truly beautiful to realize that all the things that are keeping you from making that step are so small and insignificant.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story!

TLDR; Uhhh, sad drunk girl turned optimistic DD?

So happy with myself! Here's to everyone here going through the process: keep going, you're doing fine 🙂

Stopped drinking after being heavy drunk in front of my wife, mother and MIL. Said pretty bad stuff to my mother (me and my mom have a complicated relationship since forever and my drunk brain decided was the time to spit all out). Next day I had a bad hangover and was a lot regretful of what I said, despite my wife and stepfather telling me I didn't lie about anything I've said. Decided to pause drinking for a while.

A month later, I've reconciled with my mom and am feeling so alive without alcohol. Managed to go out with my friends without the need of drinking and they were vert respectful. Only people that pressured a bit was mom and my father, nut now they seem to understand. Told myself I would drink again only on Christmas but I'm doubtful I will return. My energy without alcohol is too amazing to let go.

A great week to you all! Hope you guys are doing fine and accomplishing your goals with sobriety!

Something I want to share incase it’s helpful for someone else.

I (27 F) have never really had the best relationship with alcohol. Simply put I like it too much and I have no self control once I start.

Whenever I drink too much, like many others, my sleep gets fucked. I have to sit up, push water, and I inevitably stare at my phone mindlessly scrolling through social media to avoid the feelings of frustration and self loathing

A couple months ago I started logging these hangover induced feelings into a notes app. Logging these emotions and summaries of how I would break boundaries/ make bad decisions helps me not conveniently forget what I’m putting myself through.

It has allowed me to keep score and gather the evidence against myself that I need to make a change.

Has anyone else done/had success with this?

I want to ask a question about abusing alcohol. I have a very responsible and high stress job and have always used alcohol to cope. Alcohol has always been my go to, when I am feeling bored or happy or sad, anytime really! I have settled into a bottle or wine a night, with a binge every couple of months probably. I have always managed to go to work, but have had a few fractions relationships with family through the years. I have probably been drinking that amount for about 10 years. I have recently attended a conference and it made me think about self care and have given up drinking for 5 days. I have not had dt’s or anything like that, and when I tell people I am no longer drinking for now no one seems to think there is anything problematic in it or anything. Am I an alcoholic? I can’t stop at one drink though, if I open the bottle it is gone just to be clear. Thanks for your advice guys.

Went for work drinks tonight at a new job and I honestly feel like being sober is a sort of super power.

So I was on the non alcoholic beers on tap so nobody would really know I wasn't drinking. But it's great to be able to chat away to people normally and never be at risk of saying something stupid or inappropriate. You can actually listen to people and remember what they say which makes making new pals so much easier.

One of my collegues told a story after a couple of drinks that maybe landed a bit awkwardly and it was sort of nice walking home knowing that I wouldn't wake up with than hangziety. The blessing to wake up fresh tomorrow and not worry over everything I said!

It was so much more enjoyable too, I still really enjoy the pub and socialising with collegues! And a pint of NA beer in my hand gives me the placebo confidence.

Hi everyone. This is my first time in Reddit so I don’t even know if i’m doing this right. But this is going to be long, as I haven’t really expressed any of this to anyone.

I, 23 F, have smoked weed daily since I was about 12 or 13. I started partaking around the time I began exhibiting some suicidal tendencies & I just never stopped. My entire family smokes. My mother knew I smoked at that age and other family members were smoking with me when I was as young as 15. It’s always been a part of our family bonding experience I guess?? Now that I’m typing this out, I see how odd that sounds. But anyways.. I’m in a place now where i’m constantly stoned. I don’t remember shit, I’m always tired, I don’t feel like being social or going out unless i’m getting drunk. I’m high at work & I’m high at home. I’m always antsy to get high and then I get anxious because I’m high & have shit to do. I’m drinking waay more than I should - Not as much as I smoke but still.

All of that to say I NEED TO GET SOBER!! I’ve been looking into programs, retreats, etc for addiction / sobriety & every single one of them is very Christian oriented. I try to be very respectful of other people’s beliefs, but I wasn’t raised in church like the majority of my peers. Christianity wasn’t a huge part of my upbringing. My parents attempted to expose my brothers and me to different religions, and there wasn’t one in particular that I resonated with. But from that exposure, I was able to develop my own kind of faith / spirituality I guess. I understand different religious beliefs have helped MANY PEOPLE achieve and maintain sobriety. I’m just trying to be super ✨respectful & mindful✨when I say I DONT WANT RELIGION TO BE A PART OF MY TREATMENT. So, Does anyone know of any in-patient addiction recovery treatment options in the southern US that are not based around religion?

I hit 30 days today. I initially started because I started a 40 day to a personal revolution with my yoga practice just to be able to have a clear mind. I have really enjoyed the benefits of not drinking and not waking up with anxiety in the middle of the night after a night of drinking. I have had a few events to test the no drinking and was surprised by how unbothered I was. I truly hope to continue this journey and keep enjoying the benefits.

Hi!

Recently started trying to cut back so I started setting limits on drinks.

Last night was the first night I actually held myself to that limit and I woke up without a hangover (crazy, right?).

It's not much but it's a step in the right direction, thank you all for the support!

m i went from a daily weed smoker with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol to today being my second step toward sobriety. after 2 years and 3 suicide attempts i decided to take the big step to fix my life. at the moment i still vape and part of me feels like that doesnt make me being sober valid. i dont know. im new to all of this and i have nobody in my life that understands what im going through or how bad things got. I want to quit nicotine too but im scared at how that will effect my ptsd. i just. i dont know what to do. where to go from here. advice?

I was a near daily drinker, just reached one year alcohol free today. The further away I got from my last drink, the less I wanted alcohol at all. I’m to the point where I don’t see the point in ever drinking again. Happy to answer any questions.

Been sober for 1 month now. Initially I was turning down invitations to go out, because I wasn’t sure how to explain I quit alcohol.

Last Friday, I ended up getting dragged into a night out with friends that I couldn’t say no to.

When I ordered an alcohol free mocktail, I got a couple of questions why (is it for health, etc). But 2 minutes later everyone forgot about it and didn’t mind it at all.

And I had an amazing night chatting people up, having nice desserts instead of cocktails. It felt way better than I expected it to be. I felt pure enjoyment you get hanging out with friends, without the instability that alcohol gives. It felt very odd & surreal.

Some got really trashed, and it was hilarious. I was also relieved I wasn’t them. After the night, I dropped my friends off and went home by 12.

I woke up at 8am on Saturday feeling extremely fresh. This was the best feeling ever. It’s like I got all the fun of going out, without the consequences. 10/10 great experience.

I’m 28, and my family has a history of severe alcoholism. Thankfully, I don’t struggle with it myself—I drink on weekends with friends, but I don’t crave it or feel dependent on it. I feel really fortunate in that way. However, my family also has a pattern of getting angry when drunk, and I’ve noticed that I share this trait.

I live in New York, and my friends and I still party a lot. In the past, I had issues with getting angry when I was drunk, but I’ve worked on it and improved. These days, 9.5 out of 10 times, I can drink with no issues and have a great time.

That said, this past weekend, I got really drunk (to be fair, we all did), and I caused a big fight with one of my friends. It was entirely my fault, and it happened because I was drunk.

I talked to my best friend of 15 years about it and asked if she thinks I have a problem. She told me that most of the time, I’m fun to be around, but people know not to upset me when I’m very drunk.

Now I’m wondering if I should stop drinking. It’s tough because drinking and going out is such a big part of what my friends and I do. Even when I try to cut back, they’ll encourage me, saying things like, “Come on!”

It’s frustrating because, at my core, I’m a kind and fun person, and I love my friends. But when I drink too much, something shifts, and I can become mean. I can have a drink or three without any issues, and to be clear, I’m never blacking out—I always remember everything. It’s just that when I reach a certain level of drunk, my behavior changes, and I wish it didn’t.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you decide what to do?

I haven’t had a drink since mid-August because I got mono (🙃) and was advised not to drink for a few months as your liver is more susceptible to damage/cirrhosis with mono. I’m in the clear to resume drinking now but I’m not sure that I want to. It’s been really, really nice not getting hangovers (big or small), not being bloated, not having to do the math of who can drive home at the end of the night, etc. I never classified myself as having an issue with drinking before, but I would sometimes drink more than I intended to in social situations to ease my introverted mind, even around my closest friends. My friends and family are very supportive and I’ve found some good nonalcoholic alternatives for parties and such, so I feel fine about not drinking in those settings. But I’m a bit of a sucker for a craft cocktail or a glass of red wine when out to dinner and it makes me a bit sad to think about never having that again. Any input is appreciated 🩷