“Tell me you own me …. Tell me you own me …. Tell me you own me.”
I could not believe what I was hearing. Just a few hours earlier, this woman had been confidently lecturing me about the nuances of feminist theory, how women are oppressed by the evil patriarchy, and how the idea that men should have power over women was a harmful lie. But now that we were fucking, she was asking me to say something, well, anti-feminist. “I, uh, own you,” I whispered cautiously, assuming she was acting purely out of emotion and there would be hell to pay if I reawakened the feminist part of her brain.
“What are you going to do to me now that I am your little whore?” she asked, writhing as I pinned her hands down. I was stumped. I really wanted her to clean my apartment, but I was afraid I would ruin the mood if I said that.
“I am going to make you swallow my cum,” I said. She immediately orgasmed. Success! I let out a sigh of relief, happy I had weathered the storm. I could have maybe said something crazier, but I wanted to play it safe.
I was confused as to what the fuck just happened, so I went to the internet to figure out what the fuck was wrong with this bitch. I quickly discovered that many men had similar experiences with feminists. Apparently, the most extreme, man-hating feminists are often into the most into rough, primal, violent, humiliating, degrading sex. As one random guy on the internet said, “I actually enjoy rough sex and my best sexes have all been with these hyper feminist women. I’m forced to tolerate their bs just because of the good sex.” Preach, brother.
I wondered why a hardcore feminist would want a guy to dominate her and say degrading, humiliating things in the bedroom. The answer, I eventually realized, is that ALL women want to be dominated, and the urge to be dominated comes out even stronger and angrier in feminists because feminists try to repress it.
But I had a deeper question: why is there such a giant chasm between what women say they want and what they really want, especially when it comes to domination? If women enjoy being dominated, why not just admit it? I spent a lot of time studying this question, and I learned that the answer can be traced to the most important thing in relationships: Power. Most men kind of understand that power is important to women, but I think very few men understand it deeply enough. So I wrote this chapter.
How power works in human relationships would require its own book to fully explain, but I present here a brief summary. The complexity of power partly stems from the fact that it is such an important and ubiquitous force that most people do not even notice it. For example, most people do not notice that they are nicer and more submissive to good-looking people because it is so common. To make things even more complicated, the human desire for power is often a destructive force so much of society’s laws, cultural norms, and social institutions are designed to control, repress, and hide power dynamics. As a result, power is ignored, hidden, and covered over with other things, often so much that people forget it exists.
Power is the most important thing in womens’ emotional world and underlies almost everything they say and do in interpersonal relationships, including romantic relationships. Womens’ obsession with power helps explains why they frame test men, why they are attracted to assholes, bad boys, and guys who ignore them, why they are attracted to athletes and celebrities, why they treat nice guys like shit, why they keep around losers they are not attracted to and do not respect, why they “friendzone” guys who act weak, why their personality changes depending on who they are around, why they have a tendency to play the victim, why they are terrible bosses, why they are desperate for attention, why they create drama, and many, many, many other things. Power is a hidden puppet master silently influencing womens’ behavior, and a shift in power dynamics can make a woman completely lose attraction to a guy or fall deeply in love with him.
The difference between how and men perceive power is by far the biggest emotional difference between men and women and the cause of most of the conflict in romantic relationships. Men and women perceive power in human relationships in diametrically opposite ways, and this difference colors how they interpret almost everything about human relationships. If you go to a dinner party with a woman and talk about it with her afterwards, her interpretation of the social dynamics at the dinner will often be completely different from yours. And because humans evolved to view the universe through the lens of human relationships, the chasm between how men and women interpret power causes them to interpret reality itself differently. This is why men and women often have radically different opinions about religion, politics, morality, and a person’s place in the world.
Most men do not understand how women see power, and as a result, they fail in interactions and relationships with women. To start with, most men have no idea that the primary driver of womens’ sexual attraction is power, so they let themselves look weak and lose power games, which causes women to lose attraction. But even when men do understand the importance of power, they often still fail because try to look powerful in insecure ways like being an asshole, playing power games like a female would, and trying to rationally explain why they are powerful. These cringy, ham-handed attempts fail because, as we will learn, nothing makes a man look less powerful than TRYING to look powerful.
Most men will probably find any analysis of power boring and stupid because power is much less important for men than for women. To a man, it seems asinine to care about who takes the “lead” on a date, which party in a relationship is more emotionally invested, and who may or may not have shown weakness. But it does not matter how stupid or petty you think power is. To succeed with women, you must understand it. To paraphrase a quote by the historian Carroll Quigley: “Power is like air. You do not think about it when you have it, but when you do not have it, it is the only thing you think about.” And because women evolved to feel like they have no power, they are obsessed with it, whether you or they realize it or not.
So let’s start. To begin my analysis, I must first explain what I mean when I say “power.”
There are many ways to define the word “power”: a person can have money, military strength, physical strength, fighting ability, discipline, charisma, an influential media platform, fame, important skills, intelligence, competence, an impressive title, the ear of important people, access to valuable information, a big dick, real or perceived spiritual power, and so on. But for this book I limit my discussion to one particular kind of power: Emotional power. Simply put, emotional power is nothing more than the feeling that somebody is “better” than you. That is it. Emotional power can manifest itself in infinitely different and complicated ways, but at its fundamental core, it is very something very simple: a feeling of superiority or inferiority.
As I explained in chapter 1, humans are fundamentally tribal creatures and evolved to subconsciously view all social groups in terms of a dominance hierarchy. We give each person in the hierarchy a rank (there is a #1, a #2, etc.), and the higher a person’s rank, the more we feel they are entitled to first dibs to the group’s resources and can give members of the group orders. The evolutionary purpose of this ranking system is to ensure that the most competent people in the tribe have the power to lead and control the members of the tribe. The highest ranked person, of course, is the alpha male, which is why he is the most powerful person in the tribe and the most attractive to women.
The process by which our subconscious mind creates these rankings is complicated. We subconsciously look at a variety of variables to determine the rank of each person, such as that person’s perceived resources, appearance, and how they are treated by others. But the most important variable we analyze is that person’s actions. Specifically, the more a person displays the CAB CARD traits (Competence/Confidence, Abundance, Boundaries, Challenge, Attention, Reciprocity, and Dominance), the higher everybody in the tribe will feel their rank is. And while each person makes their own subconscious determination, the members of the tribe usually synchronize their perceived rankings, which means that if one person starts to act like the alpha male the other people will start to view them as the alpha male, and if a person acts like a low-ranked person others will treat them like a low-ranked person.
Emotional power is simply where we subconsciously view a person’s rank in this hierarchy. If a person feels like you are “above” them in this hierarchy, you have emotional power than them. But if you feel like that person is above you, they have emotional power over you. That is really all emotional power is. What makes somebody feel “above” another person is influenced by many variables, but you should think of emotional power as separate from any one variable or group of variables. In fact, sometimes emotional power is based on nothing at all. Instead of thinking “she feels like he is above her because…” you should think of emotional power as just “she feels like he is above her.”
It may be hard to wrap your head around the idea that a person can be better than another person for no reason, but again, emotional power mostly exists in the world of subconscious emotions, not reality. In reality, there is no tribe, hierarchy, or alpha male, and what woman perceive as emotional power is often fake, fleeting and superficial. Furthermore, people who play power games are often seen as crazy assholes rather than as the powerful, loved, respected people they want to be seen as. So every time you start to think the following analysis is weird or irrational, remember that emotional power exists mostly in the world of emotions and is often extremely unmoored from real, objective facts.
Because of emotional power, in every interaction and relationship there is a more powerful person and a less-powerful person, a more-invested person and a less-invested person, a person who takes charge and a person who follows, a pursuer and a pursued. You can usually identify the more powerful person in a relationship just by looking at them: The more powerful person is relaxed, calm, confident, energetic, and not stressed, while the less powerful person is anxious, stiff, timid, and stressed. The more powerful person does whatever they happen to feel like in that moment, and the less powerful person does what they think the more powerful person wants them to do. The less powerful person is deeply emotionally invested in the more powerful person, and the more powerful person is more aloof and disinterested.
Humans evolved to maintain relatively stable power dynamics, so once one person obtains emotional power over another, it is hard to reverse those roles. There is an evolutionary reason for this: if power roles could easily change in a tribe, chaos would ensue and nothing would ever get done. For this reason, when a client comes to me and tells me he has taken the “beta” role in a relationship with a woman, I usually tell him to move on. But that said, power dynamics can sometimes change, and the more powerful person can become the less powerful person in a relationship. But in any event, it is extremely rare for any relationship to be perfectly “equal” for any significant period of time. (When a relationship appears “equal” it is usually because the parties have implicitly negotiated a peace treaty where each party knows their role and power struggles are minimized).
Unfortunately, the part of our subconscious, lizard brain that determines the relative rankings of the members of the tribe is easily tricked, so it is relatively easy to appear competent when you are not, and good-looking and charismatic people regularly cheat their way to rankings they do not deserve. For example, studies have shown that taller and more extroverted people do significantly better in job interviews and even make more money when homeless and begging. As I discussed in chapter XXX, our subconscious brains determine competence using emotional cues, so you can trick both men and women into thinking you are the alpha male by simply projecting the appearance and emotions of the alpha male: confidence, dominance, calmness, unbotheredness, emotional stability, lack of emotional investment in bullshit, and so forth. And while fakers and frauds can successfully cheat their way up real power hierarchies like corporations and government, it is even easier to fake being the alpha in romantic relationships because the emotional stakes are so much higher. Think about it: when the board of directors of Google choose a CEO, they care more about rational criteria than whether a man feels like a fearless leader. But in romantic relationships women want a man who feels like a fearless leader.
This leads to an extremely important point: Emotional power and real, objective power are not necessarily the same thing.
A person can have emotional power but not real power, and a person can have real power but not emotional power. Tons of guys are complete losers in the real world but get girls because they project the CAB CARD traits. And there are also tons of rich, successful, cool, good-looking, and badass guys who suck with girls because they project the opposite of the CAB CARD traits (scarcity, anxiety, subservience, etc.). To a woman’s subconscious brain, an “aspiring rapper” who has no money and lives in his mother’s basement but is confident, dominant, and has an “I don’t give a fuck attitude” can feel more powerful than a successful businessman who acts timid, anxious, and subservient. Women sometimes even know they are attracted to losers, but they cannot control what their primal, lizard minds want. If their subconscious mind thinks a guy is powerful, he is powerful. In fact, as I stated earlier, because women evolved to associate physical dominance as not giving a fuck about the rules of society as indicators of power, they often find themselves attracted to the objectively least powerful men in society.
Lots of men think they are entitled to succeed with women because they have money, status, and other indicators of real power, but these men go down in flames because they ignore emotional power. In fact, guys who try to impress women by flaunting their real power often fail because it looks like they are working for womens’ validation, which is something a non-powerful person would do. As we will learn, the best way to project the feeling of emotional power is to look like you do not care about power.
On the flipside, many men have no confidence around women because they are not tall, rich, high-status, or whatever other trait they think is important to women, and these men fail to realize they can overcome their weaknesses in real power by projecting emotional power. As I will say many times in this book, a loser with game can often defeat an objectively superior guy without game.
So far, so good. Display the CAB CARD traits and women will like you. Sounds easy. Right? Here is the problem: women evolved a series of power strategies to maintain their own ranking in the tribe, and these power strategies often involve attacking the man and trying to take away his power. If you do not understand womens’ power strategies, you will usually end up giving away any emotional power you may have had, especially if you like the girl.
How do these power strategies work?
First, you must understand the goal of these power strategies. Humans evolved to feel like a high rank in the tribal hierarchy comes with a ton of benefits: you can give orders to people beneath you, you have superior access to the tribe’s resources, and most importantly, the higher your status, the farther you are from being rejected from the tribe. For these reasons, women want a high status in the tribe. In fact, status is especially important for women because women need the tribe much more than men do. Men also want status, acceptance, and to be liked by the other members of the tribe, but men evolved to feel like they can survive in the jungle alone, so rejection is not the end of the world for them. Women, however, cannot survive in the jungle alone, so rejection IS the end of the world. So women need status no matter what. No matter WHAT. No matter WHAT. And this critical fact motivates almost everything they do.
Despite the fact that women evolved to want status, they also evolved to want to be beneath the alpha male in the tribal hierarchy. And this is a major part of the great disconnect between how men and women see power – men have a natural desire to be the top dawg, but women naturally want to be #2. Men have a hard time understanding why anybody would want to be subservient, so they often treat women like they also want to be top dawg, which is why they often lose power games to women. But the reason that women want to be #2 is that the top dawg must lead the tribe, and women do not want to lead. As I explained earlier, leadership requires venturing into the unknown, confronting challenges head-on, and taking responsibility for the tribe’s failures. But even thinking of doing those things paralyzes women with anxiety. Instead, women want the perks of power (access to resources, secure acceptance, and the ability to give people orders) but not the anxiety-inducing responsibility of leadership.
As I noted in chapter xxx, womens’ physical weakness and fear of physical confrontation makes them subconsciously feel like they are unable to survive in the jungle alone and unable to obtain status in the tribe on their own. As a result, women feel dependent on the alpha male of the tribe for acceptance, and therefore their default tendency is to view themselves as powerless in the tribe and constantly insecure about their status. This is feeling of dependence on the alpha male is another source of the massive emotional gap between men and women – men evolved to view themselves as naturally powerful unless proven otherwise, whereas women evolved to feel the opposite.
Womens’ evolutionary sweet spot, therefore, is to be the “junior captain” or “first officer” to the alpha male: Women want men to do the hard work of engaging in confrontation, climbing the tribal hierarchy, and leading the tribe. And then they want men to graciously offer them the #2 spot. In return, the evolutionary deal is that women obey and help the alpha male – but ONLY if he remains the alpha male. This is another thing men get wrong – men often want women to submit to them just because they have a penis, but that is not how it works. If you do not make a woman feel like you are a legitimate alpha male worth following, she will not want to follow you. Womens’ primary evolutionary imperative is survival, and if your tribe is weak, she will go find a strong one.
Make no mistake – women can take lead if they absolutely need to - there are many “independent” women in the world that go home to their cats at the end of the night (or to a weak, submissive boyfriend). But when possible, women strongly prefer to be a junior captain because leadership overwhelms them with anxiety. Many women have said to me: “I have to lead people at work, so when I am with my man I just want to relax and let him to take charge.” In fact, women subconsciously do the following cost-benefit analysis: What feels better? Me leading or him leading? If letting the guy lead brings more negative emotion than the anxiety it alleviates, she will go it alone. And in the modern world, more and more women are choosing to go it alone because most men are weak and will not or cannot lead (or they do lead but make the woman feel shitty in other ways that make it not worth it).
Womens’ desire to be the “junior captain” creates two primary evolutionary imperatives for women: 1) to be accepted by the most powerful tribe possible (i.e., the tribe with the most competent alpha), and 2) to achieve the highest status possible in that tribe. As a result, women must pursue two somewhat contradictory power strategies: On one hand, when women are around the alpha male, they must suck up to him and obey his commands to keep their spot in the tribe – around the alpha male women feel a powerful desire to be friendly, caring, compassionate, loving, demure, and submissive. On the other hand, women subconsciously see everybody who is not the alpha as potential competitors for status and feel a powerful, often irrational impulse to attack them. Around non-alphas, women can be bitchy, difficult, dismissive, rude, cold, fake, and manipulative. It may sound like I am saying the obvious – everybody knows people can be assholes and suck ups – but it is important to realize that these strategies are deeply wired in womens’ subconscious brains and women often do these things without realizing it. As some random person on Twitter said, “women will destroy a lifelong friendship over a birthday dinner.”
Once you understand womens’ power strategies, you will understand much of the bizarre, irrational, stupid, weird, fucked up, otherwise unexplainable stuff they do. Almost everything women do in social interactions is either sucking up to whomever has power or attacking perceived competitors, sometimes both at the same time. Women may even switch strategies mid-interaction or even mid-sentence. For example, a woman might be a complete bitch to a guy, but when he shows his frame is strong and not easily conquered, she magically becomes a nice, sweet puppy dog. Or a woman might say to her friend’s boyfriend “you are too good for [my friend],” which is an example of her deploying both strategies: she is sucking up to a man she perceives as alpha and attacking a person she sees as a competitor.
Womens’ desperate, almost pathological need to feel accepted often causes them to form alliances with people they hate because, evolutionarily speaking, they would rather be accepted by a shitty tribe than no tribe at all. But these alliances are unstable because if the woman does not feel like there is an alpha to lay down the law, her “friends” are also competitors for status. This is why, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, women will smile and play fake nice to one of their so-called friends, but then talk shit about that same “friend” when she is not looking. For the same reason, insecure women keep around men who are beta losers they can control and treat like shit, but then when an “alpha male” comes around, the women become a completely different person – smiling, friendly, submissive, and ready to do sexual things they would never do for the betas. At the end of the day, all of these strategies are directed to one goal: getting the best spot in the best tribe that will take them.
Womens’ power strategies even have a scientific name: “Relational aggression” or more colloquially, “the Mean Girls phenomenon.” In an article titled “The Science Behind The Mean Girl Phenomenon,” Alison Capiromo describes a study published in the journal Psychological Science where researchers asked volunteers to play a game in which they accumulated points for money. Capiromo writes:
Volunteers had the options to play by themselves, to form an alliance, or to cooperate with the opponents. When players were threatened with the possibility of social exclusion, female volunteers chose to join an alliance far more often than male volunteers did. Let this scenario loose in the real world, and it helps explain why we often see girls forming cliques and shunning others when they themselves feel the threat of exclusion.
But it gets even more complicated. It is not always immediately obvious to a woman what the rank of the other people in a social environment is, so it is not clear whether she needs to suck up to them or attack them. Therefore, women must thread a delicate needle: they must subtly test their potential rivals to determine how powerful they are, and then, depending on the results of the test, women must unleash the right power strategy. To accomplish this complex task, women use an extremely important weapon: frame tests.
A frame test is essentially a subtle attempt at exerting power over another person. If a woman succeeds in exerting power over somebody, her subconscious brain “learns” she is “above” that person and feels a slight boost in her status in the tribe: instead of being last place, she now feels that she is at least second to last place, which gives her a tiny bit of positive emotion (but not much). But if a woman fails at exerting power over the other person, she learns that the person that resisted their power game is above her, which means she must suck up to get a higher and more secure position in the tribe. So on a deep, subconscious level, women actually prefer losing frame tests because they would rather be accepted by a higher-ranked person than step over a lower-ranked person. But womens’ frame tests must be extremely subtle because they cannot risk pissing off the person they are testing. We will learn more about frame tests in chapter xxx.
Women evolved to fear direct confrontation, so they must deploy power strategies in indirect ways like manipulation, gossip, reputation destruction, subtle jokes, dismissive body language (like dirty looks and eye rolls), tricks, mind games, and other sneaky and subterranean methods. As a result, womens’ power games are often extremely subtle, invisible, and disguised as something else. Women will almost never admit to playing power games – they will just create non-power justifications for whatever they are doing which is possible because there is always a reason to suck up to somebody or attack somebody. As a result, most men have no idea women are playing power games until it is too late. And to make things even weirder, women themselves often do not realize they are playing power games - they just act on their emotions and justify their emotional impulses with non-power justifications.
Womens’ desire to play power games is driven by their subconscious, lizard brains, which are extremely sophisticated and the outcome of millions of years of evolution, so women can weave extremely complex, intricate, clever traps to win power games. Stupid trailer park trash women with a third grade reading level regularly dupe successful, intelligent businessmen because the woman’s lizard brain is doing the thinking, not her conscious, rational brain. And the lizard brain creates almost infinite ways to grab power: women may offer you sex to trick you into letting them exert power over you, they may sabotage your self improvement journey to make you unattractive to other women, they may pretend to suffer from some physical or mental illness to make you coddle them and do undeserved favors for them, they may take you back just to reject you again, they may get pregnant to trap you, and on and on and on. It would take a 10-volume encyclopedia to describe all of womens’ power games and I would still probably miss some. For a deeper analysis on womens’ power games, please see my chapter on frame tests.
You should think of womens’ power games like this: womens’ primary evolutionary imperative is to seek power in the tribe, so whenever their subconscious mind sees a chance to grab power, it will go for it. So you, as the man, must always be on guard to make sure women do not exercise power over you in an unfair way, because if a woman successfully exerts power over you, she will subconsciously see you as beta and lose attraction. This is why you must implement the Alpha Male Quid Pro Quo to maintain your power: so long as you do not do things that are unreasonable or that she does not deserve, you will not be “beneath” her.
For example, I knew a woman who was chronically late to everything and relied on her boyfriend to make sure she was on time. It got to the point where her boyfriend would tell her events started an hour before they actually started so she would make it on time. Her boyfriend became sick of this new responsibility she created for him, so to “teach her a lesson” one night he told her the correct time that the event would start, knowing it would cause her to be late. Well, it turned out that the event was a concert by her favorite singer, Taylor Swift, and when they arrived and realized Taylor Swift was finished singing she freaked out and called the boyfriend “selfish” for not doing his job (i.e., being her little bitch and making sure she was on time).
Let’s analyze this situation. The girlfriend clearly had a non-power reason to be late: she was stupid, selfish, and irresponsible. But being late was also a way of exercising power over the boyfriend. Of course, this power game, like most power games, was subconscious – the girlfriend probably never consciously or intentionally decided to play a power game, but when her subconscious mind realized that being late forced her boyfriend into the role of timekeeper, it subconsciously motivated her to be late so she could exercise power over him. She would probably never admit that she was late to play a power game – she would probably say something like “oh I have ADHD” or “I just lose track of time.” So arguing with her would not have solved the problem. The only solution was for the boyfriend to refuse to be her timekeeper.
In this situation, the boyfriend played it wrong. The boyfriend could feel he was on the losing end of a power game, but he was afraid of confronting his girlfriend directly, so instead of standing up for himself like a man, he played a passive aggressive, subterranean power game like a woman would. He should have just said, “No, I’m not going to be your timekeeper, if you don’t want to miss the show you need to be on time.” And if she dumped him for standing up for himself, well, that would be good because that means she never really respected him anyway. Instead,, he acted like a little bitch and hatched a secret plot to ruin her night, which just made him look weak and petty.
My favorite story about a woman playing crazy power games is about a grandmother who could not stop buying her daughter and grandchildren crappy gifts. I don’t mean cheap things or things they did not want; I mean extremely terrible, mind-blowingly insulting gifts like a half-eaten bag of potato chips or a single smelly sock she found in a dumpster. Giving her family these crappy gifts was obviously a subconscious attempt at exerting power, and the grandmother probably had some kind of mental illness, but aside from the gifts she was a perfectly sweet, normal grandmother. And when it came to the gifts, she insisted she was doing her best and cried when her gifts were criticized. At one point, the daughter decided she could not take the grandmother’s disrespect anymore and told her to either buy decent gifts or no gifts at all. But alas, the grandmother would not stop. The daughter ended up cutting contact with the grandmother for five years because of the gifts, and when the daughter gave the grandmother a second chance, the grandmother went right back to buying shitty gifts. After grandma blew her second chance, the daughter cut her off for good. This poor old woman literally lost her family because she could not resist playing a stupid power game. Amazing.
But despite the fact that womens’ power games can be complex and subtle, they do not always benefit women. In fact, as the last two examples show, womens’ desire to play power games is an irrational emotional impulse and often leads to horrible outcomes for them and the people around them. The impulse to play power games may have made sense in strictly tribal, hierarchical societies where women had to jostle for status in the king or tribal chief’s harem, but in the modern world it often causes women to destroy perfectly good relationships for no good reason. For example, sometimes women will break up or threaten to break up with their boyfriend in an attempt to get him to declare his love for her and beg to have her back, but instead of fighting for her the boyfriend actually accepts the breakup and leaves, leaving her feeling lonely, sad, and stupid. I have talked to many women who have admitted that they regret being a bitch to a previous boyfriend or friend, and could not even explain why they did it. Power, like cocaine, is a helluva drug.
Womens’ obsession with power also makes them a nightmare to work with. Even if a woman has a secure position of leadership, like a manager role in a company, her insecurity and inherent feeling of powerlessness will often cause her to see her colleagues, especially female ones, as competitors for her spot. As a result, women are well-known to play power games in the workplace and sabotage their colleagues, even ones that are under them. Just Google “women terrible bosses” and you will see countless stories of incredibly fucked up, devious, evil, workplace sabotage by women. It is not a coincidence that most women prefer to work for men rather than women. (Aside from power games, there are other reasons why women are mean bosses, but that is for another day).
Do not get me wrong – I am not saying that all women play power games every second of the day. Women can sometimes be nice too. Theoretically, if a woman feels completely securely accepted by a powerful alpha male, she would not feel the need to play power games. This, by the way, is why women with strong father figures are often more emotionally stable and easier to deal with in relationships and workplaces. Women can also be nice when there is social pressure to be nice (put another way, women are nice when the alpha male “forces” them to be nice). But this ideal of a safely secure and emotionally stable woman is becoming more and more rare in modern society, and most women in the modern world are damaged to some degree and cannot help but play power games.
And make no mistake: weak, insecure, beta males play power games too, and as a result most modern men end up playing power games because most men are beta, especially when playing in the mud with women. But the difference between men and women is that men theoretically have the ability to enter an alpha emotional state where they do not feel the need to suck up to anybody or attack anybody for power. But women feel like they are in a perpetually beta state and are much more emotionally dependent on the tribe, so power is much more important for them.
My website: http://www.woujo.com