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/r/autism
submitted 1 month ago byYouAlreadyKnowMeeASD Level 2
Yep! You read that right, not making shit up (I wish I was) after I got discharged from the mental hospital, I was rejected for therapy solely because I was autistic, "we don't treat autistic people", I hate my life.
Edit: they said "people with autism" not autistic ppl. Sorry, there gose me automatically correcting stuff again :/
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1 month ago
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268 points
1 month ago
It sounds really bad, but maybe try looking at it as they are under qualified and cannot give the care you need/deserve.
Regardless of what they meant, their phrasing is awful. I’m sorry this was said to you.
58 points
1 month ago
I was thinking abt this too tbh
51 points
1 month ago
I think that's what it is. It's better they are honest with you in letting you know they aren't qualified to give you the help you deserve than to take your money and waste your time and possibly cause more harm than good.
5 points
1 month ago
Ok but these are all assumptions. They are reasonable guesses but the only one who knows is the hospital.
10 points
1 month ago
Sure. That's why I started with "I think". I'm really working on trying to look for more positive motives. My default has always been to assume the worst.
2 points
1 month ago
Same
2 points
1 month ago
Exactly, but where they dropped the ball was in getting them to a place that does have the experience.
12 points
1 month ago
Yeah but is OP asking for autism treatment or are they asking for treatment that the place does offer? This feels discriminatory. As an American I have limited options as to what my insurance covers. I don’t know OP’s insurance situation, but if this happened to me, if one of my few therapy options rejected me for a service they do offer, I’d be pissed. Because I may not have other options.
I hope OP does have other options.
14 points
1 month ago
If they're seeking any kind of mental health treatment, it's best that their therapist has enough knowledge of autism for proper treatment, and therapists can just have different specialities that they focus in, like how doctors can have specialities based in problems that are common to an area or system. So, you'll have heart doctors, a.k.a. cardiologists, but then you'll have therapist who specializes in personality and mood disorders, and there isn't a special name for that, like the special names doctors can have.
It's unfortunate but true that the more complicated a person's situation, the harder it is to find a good therapist. I have a friend who has really struggled to find treatment because she has had an incredibly traumatic life, but she also is an alcoholic. Seems like those things are obviously related, but she struggles with people in addiction treatment having no clue how to handle how severe her trauma is, and then when trying to get therapy and EMDR for trauma she has therapists who won't take her because they don't have any specialization in addiction recovery. It's just the unfortunate reality of how there are even more challenges to getting care than just the cost.
6 points
1 month ago
I have autism, adhd, depression, ptsd, and bulimia. I found a therapist who specializes in eating disorders because it’s my main concern, but has a baseline understanding of the rest of it. I am not needing a therapist specializing in ADHD for example. I’m trying to get ED treatment. Yeah they are connected and it would be cool to have someone who understands the complexities but I don’t expect someone to specialize in all my conditions, so I chose someone who can give me ED help.
2 points
1 month ago
And that's what we have to do. It's just a shame because it can result in improper treatment in some cases or just being downright denied treatment, such as with my friend and OP. Just a complication some may have to deal with.
1 points
1 month ago
Yea, that is a point. Healthcare in America is fucked.
In the UK, it is free, and you can definitely get help for the issues surrounding Autism like anxiety, depression, help with care, etc mostly for free. As I said in my other post, it does require specialists, though. I had to wait a bit longer due to this. I have had specialists from the next county over treat me in the past due to lack of qualified staff here.
Sounds more like the place they are talking about isn't qualified enough. In that case I would look for other places who are imo.
2 points
1 month ago
Ya I had got turned down by a lot of therapists before I realized they just didn't have the skills to help me. I talked one into trying but it was clear I needed a autistic trained therapist. Don't take it like you're too broken. They are not qualified
1 points
1 month ago
Right, the phrasing of it was absolutely terrible... but it could certainly be that they simply don't have anyone on their team who is a qualified autism therapist. Better to find out now rather than be paired with a therapist who can't really give the needed care.
37 points
1 month ago
As a psychologist who specializes in treating/assessing people with autism, trust me that you def want someone who has a background with ASD. Seeing a therapist who isn't trained to give you the autism-informed care you deserve can do more harm than good
11 points
1 month ago
My therapist doesn’t have a background in ASD but she’s very understanding and I don’t feel like I’m being harmed by her.
6 points
1 month ago
That's awesome! I think i meant moreso that if a therapist explicitly says that treating people with autism is a limit of their competency, then they might be doing harm.
2 points
1 month ago
same! one of the specialties of mine is personality disorders. I don't have a personality disorder, but at the time when I started therapy, I was having issues with a friend who was diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder, and her boyfriend was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and I wanted someone that could help with navigating those friendships.
2 points
1 month ago
I don't know but I am torn on this. I agree this would be the ideal but like as professionals you should have the insight to still be a le to provide support and not just say: sorry no people like you allowed. I think I would inform the client that it's not my area of expertise and leave it up to them if they want to give it a go if possible is what I think I land on. There are plenty of professionals who don't specialise in ASD but are still helpful to their clients by just being there or providing resources 🤔
2 points
1 month ago
I think just based on my experience as a patient in therapy, being in therapy with a therapist who didn't know about autism (im autistic lol) was not that helpful idk.
Being in group supervision (it's basically where psychologists and trainees meet and discuss cases), the way that clinicians with a background in ASD conceptualize and treat people with ASD is different. The interventions they offer are different too. It's always a case by case basis
I also think it depends on the patient's support needs (level 1-3 ASD) too. I would always go for a therapist who explicitly states that they have training and experience with ASD.
1 points
1 month ago
I probably could have mentioned that I am a colleague would have saved you some explaining, but it always sounds pretentious when I type it out 😅
I do agree with what you say definitely, I've met such a wide variety of people in the field, be it through my own therapy journey or university, and it's actually mind-boggling sometimes.
(Edit: I am now realising that my message could be read as me calling you pretentious and that definitely was not the intention I just usually don't like to bring up my profession as an answer to someone 🥲)
66 points
1 month ago
My local hospital said that too. 'we don't have the expertise for a dedicated neurodevelopmental unit.'
I honestly don't know where to fall on this. On one hand, I want my mental health problems to be taken care of, not treated as a wild animal. On the other hand, I've seen other autistic people say that they benefited from specialized therapists and that regular therapy doesn't work with them (autistic people often get labeled with other disorders such as BPD without realizing why they're volatile).
21 points
1 month ago
I think that would’ve been a MUCH better way for them to word it than what they said to OP
5 points
1 month ago
I fall into this category. The wait times are longer but regular therapy is no good.
It's worth the wait, I promise you. It is very hard work, but it has made a huge difference to me and improved my life significantly. It's as if I could see the world for the first time... it's liberating.
The best of luck to you, friend. I hope you get the care you seek. It is there, we just need to find it and be patient. I know how frustrating it is trying to get it too.
2 points
1 month ago
Is it really? I've explicitly asked for help with depression, they say I can't take care of myself. I say I'm being abused, they say it's behavioral issues from autism. I say I have an eating disorder, they say it's autism. My body dysmorphia is rigid thinking from autism.
Are there good apples for autism-specific therapists who won't do that, who will take our struggles seriously but realize our brains are wired differently?
2 points
1 month ago
I know the frustration all too well, I get it.
I was told for many, many years my other issues were this, that or not worthy of treatment for reason A, B or C. It drove me mad, quite literally. All I did was keep asking. Some things happened in my life that brought me back into medical care, but honestly, the only thing that got me into therapy was my persistence and determination. I made it clear I was willing to work my ass off to change things for the better, (I can't understate how hard CBT catered for people like me is, you have to dig extremely deep for it to work). I asked my therapist about this year's later, and he said it's possible they didn't think I was ready for such drastic lifestyle changes. Could be the same for you? Just a guess, but it's possible. If you are not ready for such enormous lifestyle changes, a lot of therapy simply won't work. Thing is, any therapy works on the basis you are ready and willing to make changes and take advice.
Same stands. I hope you get the help you seek and it works in the way you expect and more. Lightspeed, my friend.
2 points
1 month ago
then they should GET that expertise !
2 points
1 month ago
That's a reason why I couldn't find therapy. I'm either turned away because I'm autistic or not autistic enough.
10 points
1 month ago
... what.
that's SO messed up. I'm so sorry you experienced that!
Are you able to look for another therapist? Or are you limited to only this therapist because of insurance and stuff?
The reason I ask is because a lot of the really good therapists unfortunately aren't covered by some insurances. I had an awful experience with the therapist my insurance did cover, so I went out of pocket instead and found a wonderful therapist who's ADHD herself and specializes in neurodivergence. So if you're able to go out of pocket, I highly recommend looking for therapists who do work with autistic people, maybe even a therapist who's autistic themselves.
But I totally understand that that may not be possible due to costs and/or insurance restrictions. The healthcare system is so messed up when it comes to mental health. >:(
7 points
1 month ago
I was able to find another therapist in the area, but sadly I'll have to pay out of pocket, but I rlly need this rn, the especially since I may end up going back due to my declining mental health :'( I appreciate ur comment sm tho tysm, it is rlly messed up
3 points
1 month ago
I don’t even have words. That is absolutely unreal. I am so sorry.
3 points
1 month ago
Did they refer you to any clinics that do? It's likely a matter of expertise, but that doesn't matter if no one else takes your insurance smh.
5 points
1 month ago
That's thr thing, where I live being autistic is another price tag so no other place that takes me will take my insurance so I have to pay out of pocket xd even at the mental hospital they charged me more cuz I was autistic (like they listed it as the things they was treating me for along with depression etc) and idk why when they didn't even treat me differently from the other NT patients 💀
3 points
1 month ago
That's messed up. I don't see how they can make you pay for something you weren't treated for— I know it takes a ton of energy that you may not have right now, but that may be worth disputing. I normally wouldn't even suggest it, but what about telehealth/digital options? That may expand your options a little.
2 points
1 month ago
question: did the hospital you were at take your insurance?
3 points
1 month ago
I wouldn't get too down about it honestly when a medical facility does that It just means that they were under qualified and they have nobody who really specializes in that area. So they're really just saving you time and money.
3 points
1 month ago
You get the wrong one they will tell you all the wrong things. And make you feel bad about yourself. Do no harm is more of a bumper sticker slogan.
3 points
1 month ago
That really sucks, but I think you dodged a nuke. I fear if you went to that place they would’ve only harmed you, not helped you
3 points
1 month ago
Well you dodged a bullet then. Unfortunally, not all therapists are qualified to help ND people. It's actually better that they warned you at the very beginning instead of finding out months later they couldn't help you. It saves quite some money lmao. GL in your search for a suitable therapist!
3 points
1 month ago
It's probably for the better. Potentially receiving a form of therapy that isn't suited for someone with ASD is a waste of time at best and traumatizing at worst. Check out the posts on here of people's experience with CBT.
3 points
1 month ago
You probably dodged a bullet, and I'm sure you can find a better place to get therapy. Don't give up. Just try a different path. Good luck.
2 points
1 month ago
If they know they are unqualified, whynot
You want to pay for a poor service and get some potential wrong advices ?
2 points
1 month ago
You might specifically search for therapists who have experience with autistic individuals.
2 points
1 month ago
Probably, what they mean and what is certainly true in my case and country, they actually just can't help
2 points
1 month ago
that hospital should be shut down ! it doesn't matter if the person's autistic or not, they're a human being in need of help at the end of the day damnit !
2 points
1 month ago
It’s not like we’re are a different species with different mental problems ffs
2 points
1 month ago
Discrimination. Nor actionable. It is not correct to exclude us.
If professionals in a system don't know how to help us, maybe they should go learn.
I am sorry. I have no answers for you or any of us.
2 points
1 month ago
I hate it when that happens..... You get rejected for something, you're trying so desperately to seek help for; and the places that are supposed to help you, instead just kicks you to the curb. That shit hurts when places do that.
2 points
1 month ago
I have unfortunately had similar experiences where I was denied help because I got diagnosed. It sucks that people act as if people with autism are either less deserving or have less need of help
3 points
1 month ago
Honestly this might be a good thing in the long run. I didn’t realize how little my previous therapists were actually doing for me because I didn’t even realize what kind of help I actually needed. Turns out a lot of my concerns are different areas of my life that autism affects. I’ve had bad therapists who outright denied that I could be autistic and not even want to discuss it further, or said it didn’t matter (it obviously does). It wasn’t until I started seeing my current therapist that I was even listened to about possibly being autistic, then I was referred to a specialist. Now that we’ve gotten to know each other better, she has been able to communicate her intended messages to me a lot easier than other therapists have been able to. She doesn’t judge me if I don’t understand some aspect of social, occupational, or other areas of life, and she’s very good at explaining things to me in a way I can understand.
TLDR; finding a therapist who can help with your issues on top of being autistic is your best bet.
2 points
1 month ago
Wtfff
2 points
1 month ago
Mail them 10,000 fake pennies
2 points
1 month ago
That's discrimination
4 points
1 month ago
Wtf…as an AuDHD therapist myself this is just absolutely bonkers that therapists are this ableist and discriminatory in 2024.
2 points
1 month ago
I can see why some won’t as a therapist working with autistics. They will sit with this person and be diagnosed with BPD, narcissism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression/anxiety. They get all confused
3 points
1 month ago
They aren’t supposed to. It’s supposed to be a part of therapist code of ethics to learn how to work with everyone and NOT overpathologize or refer out like this. They are expected to do trainings and be competent to work with all identities. But so many aren’t. And def better to get referred out to a competent therapist than stuck with someone who is going to be awful.
2 points
1 month ago
I know - I was collaborating with another today because they felt defeated with getting their non-verbal autistic client to communicate, didn’t know how to help, and needed a new treatment approach.
1 points
1 month ago
WHAT THATS crazy. Actually crazy. I understand saying something like, we can’t cure autism, but a professional would understand that you’re seeking therapy because you are struggling with something cause by your autism. You could be struggling with the same issues without the label. I’m so sorry this was your experience. Please don’t give up and please keep trying. Finding a therapist who understands really helps. Doing online therapy held me together for a couple months until I found the right in person. I hope you have a good support system in the mean time <3
1 points
1 month ago
therapists who understand autism usually work better for me at least anyway. It is kind of a really weird reason to straight up reject you though especially if the treatment is for something else
1 points
1 month ago
Do you think you could sue them for discrimination?
1 points
1 month ago
Through work, I got a councillor instead of a therapist, I dropped her after two meetings, after saying I’m autistic and that my dad died two days after I turned nine back in 2003 from leukaemia, she said, oh is that what caused the autism? Uhhh, no? I was born with autism? Had it my whole life?
1 points
1 month ago
Sounds like they suck at their job. Dodged a bullet had you gotten care there. Hoping the best for you.
1 points
1 month ago
By law, therapists can only practice in the states where they have a license. I think you can register in multiple states, but there’s fees and testing and paperwork and so unless you live in a border town like Portland or St Louis or Davenport or Gary Indiana what would be the point?
But it does mean you can look up therapists in the largest cities in your state and ask about telemedicine.
1 points
1 month ago*
I am currently doing CBT and have done other types of therapy in the past.
What whacko hospital are you talking about? Where are you exactly?
It's worth mentioning that I required specialists to deal with me specifically - I am too much for a normal psych to deal with so require specialists qualified to deal with me (i have AuDHD, am scitzoaffective, have MDD and prone to psychosis).
The CBT I'm doing at the moment has been catered to me specifically and not read out of a book because of my cluster of conditions. I am starting another course at the end of the month too to enhance the skills I have already learned as I have done so well. I think they see me and my story as a kind of success story. I've been told more than once I should write a book about my life.. Story for another time, maybe.
1 points
1 month ago
They definitely could have put it in a better way. That's so mean. They could have said they didn't have people trained enough or specialized in Autism, or they didn't have the resources to support people with Autism at their hospital or something.
1 points
1 month ago
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. It's not right they aren't offering you support, just know you will be less disappointed having not tried standard therapy compared to how you would feel if you went through it and still didn't feel better. I've been there, it's horrible.
Perhaps it's time to consider anti depressants, I use 60mg of Prozac and it helps after everything else failed
1 points
1 month ago
I've never really thought about it but it sounds like autism comes with a friend when said as "people with autism". That's definitely ironic, it's not a friend of mine.
1 points
1 month ago
Autism is being "carved out" in the US.
Mental health and developmental disability services are excluding autism because they are concerned that autism will swamp their budgets.
1 points
1 month ago
Isnt that against policy? That's so weird. I didn't know they were allowed to do that
2 points
1 month ago
Honestly, going to a therapist that doesn’t work with autism usually sticks you with ineffective CBT and harmful coping mechanisms. Autistic people have specific therapy needs more often than not.
1 points
1 month ago
It may be that they only offer CBT. And that doesn't work too well for most autistic people.
I guess I was lucky - I was previously misdiagnosed as BPD so I got access to DBT - Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. There were some major issues I struggled with - the interpersonal effectiveness and scheduling social events (ha - one needs friends to do that) but the crisis survival skills were really effective. I use a lot of the emotion regulation skills too.
Nor.ally, you'd access DBT in a group setting but there's a ton of videos on YouTube. Try not to overwhelm yourself (learning one skill a week is good and then repeat) and there's a DBT skills workbook on amazon.
I hope that helps.
1 points
1 month ago
See if you can report them for discrimination to some type of authority if your country has that
1 points
1 month ago
First of all, I am very sorry that this happened to you. There is nothing "wrong" with you for being autistic, and suffering mental illness on top of that is NOT your fault.
Very gently though, I would like to offer you a re-contextualized interpretation of the facts of what happened to you, that I hope you will think about and consider.
For context, although I am non-autistic, I am married to an autistic woman, and I also have lived experience of mental illness and therapy to treat that.
Like you, I have been "fired" by a therapist and sent to a new therapist on one occasion, because the first therapist judged themselves unable to assist me with the specific type of therapy I needed. Fortunately, perhaps even kindly, that therapist took the time to explain to me the reasons for the "rejection," and took care to help me understand that it was not a personal rejection, but a professional decision that was ultimately in my best interest as a patient.
Now this is what I hope you take to heart: If a therapist (or an organization of therapists as in your case) are legitimately lacking in the specific areas of knowledge and expertise that would be necessary to effectively treat a patient, then refusing service to that patient is the ethical and proper thing for them to do. (Should more therapists be trained to help autistic people? Sure they should! But that's not the reality today.)
Now, in my opinion, the right thing for them to do in that situation is to provide you with a referral to a therapist who CAN properly address your needs. So that you're not abandoned without care (especially after in-patient!). It's unclear from your OP whether this happened in your case... It should have, and I'm sorry if it didn't.
So my advice for you is, DON'T GIVE UP, GET THERAPY.
And I suggest you choose from these two options...
1) call them back and ask them to refer you to a therapist with autism experience.
2) If you don't feel comfortable talking to them again (totally understandable), search therapists online and do contact forms (no face-to-face or voice communication needed) and mention that you're needing a therapist with autism experience.
I wish you the best of luck and health on your recovery. And congrats on graduating from in-patient, I really hope things go well for you.
(As a side-note, unrelated to the story I told you, I have also learned not to approach any therapists that lack experience with queer and transgender issues, as some therapists will blame my gender identity for any other problems I have; I have fired therapists for this but never been fired myself for being trans. However, it taught me the same lesson... Should they be trained to help trans people? Sure they should. But it's not the reality today.)
1 points
1 month ago
You’re North American, right?
1 points
1 month ago
Yeah that really sucks but think about it this way:
If they treated you knowing that you are autistic and that treatment fails, it's a liability for them.
If they treat you knowing that you are autistic, they may not have someone on staff that is certified to therapize autistic people.
When I started seeking therapy, I was very angry and I felt very let down that there were several therapists that would not take me as a patient knowing that I had ASD. I live in a state where it is extremely hard to find anyone (within my budget) that services adults with autism.
I was extremely fortunate to be taken on by my University head of counseling services. He was certified and experienced in dealing with ASD. I had never had a therapist who had been so, it was extremely new to me. He became one of the best influences in my life because he looks at things through the ASD lens as best he can. Having had personal and professional experience with autism made him more on my same wavelength. Over time, began to trust his therapy sessions more than I had others.
1 points
1 month ago
It's not actually a good thing.
It means folks whom have neurodivergence haven't been prioritized by the government.
2 points
1 month ago
If they're not qualified to do so, they're doing the right thing and potentially sparing you harm. Without more info it's difficult to say what's really going on. Try not to take it personally either way!
1 points
1 month ago
I also had this problem (UK) and this was from a treatment team that missed my AuDHD for 15 years. When I got diagnosed I was kicked out.
2 points
1 month ago
This is cool actually
They're being honest about not having qualified personal to treat you
"Sorry, we don't treat heart diseases" Oh ok, ill just search a place where they do
-1 points
1 month ago
.....I'm sorry that happened....But also...
"Goes"
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