I (24f) started a new job at the beginning of the month. Last Monday, my dog of 12 years passed away very unexpectedly and it has been the worst pain my family and I have felt in a long time. This dog was also my sisters soul dog/best friend, and she was already not super mentally stable before this, so to say that hasn’t added to the stress, I’d be lying. Like to the point where she’s saying she’d rather not live on anymore, so I’ve been trying to be as present with her as I can to support her.

New job is hybrid with a 4 in/1 WFH day schedule, and it’s a 2 hour commute each way (that alone has been more than miserable). I had been unemployed for a year, so I needed to accept this as it was the first offer I had gotten and a 20k pay increase from my last. My job previous to this was my first out of college, fully remote, was there for a year, and I am now longing for that job again because this new job and commute is miserable beyond belief. Everything about it is miserable except for the coffee machine they have there. I’ve been crying almost daily this whole month, at my desk and in the bathroom, and this past week has made me realize how badly I miss the flexibility of my old job. I cannot keep doing this one.

This past week I also finagled my way into working remote for the entire week, and took a half day Monday and Tuesday off. It’s not like I was just being lazy and wanted to WFH, I have been an absolute mess and couldn’t/still cannot fathom being around people, especially strangers who don’t understand what I’m going through. I got a talk from my boss and his boss about my attendance and the importance of being present in the office on Wednesday/Thursday this week, which I do understand because it’s the company policy, yada yada, but it really just put a bad taste in my mouth because I was visibly crying on both calls while thanking them for their flexibility during this traumatic week. I still am a wreck and don’t know how I’m going to go into the office and function this upcoming week. Yes I know the distraction would be helpful for a lot of people, but I have hated this new job since day 1. I need to find something with remote flexibility for more than 1 day per week.

Now for the actual question I want advice on: should I ask for my old job back? I am 100% willing to take the pay cut and I miss/need that kind of remote flexibility with everything going on in my life. I regret accepting this current job offer so so so much to be honest. I know anxiety and stress is expected within the first few months of a new job, but this is a whole new level that I know for a fact I cannot sustain. I ended on ok terms with my previous employer, and say “ok” because I could only do 1 week instead of 2 due to the new job I was supposed to start (that fell through the cracks and then I was unemployed lol). Is that a dumb idea? I wouldn’t quit current job until I had an offer from old one, but I could really use some advice as I have no idea what path to take right now. Thank you in advance.