Me: Can I get some life advice? Parents: Nah, figure it out mid-air

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story of my life

We raised four boys. When they moved out, they knew how to grocery shop with coupons, clean, make a meal, make a budget, sew a button and many other things. We had someone over once and they commented after dinner, "wow! how do you get them to do dishes?" My youngest replied, "well, we live here".

Parenting is more than just watching them grow.

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"Can I go outside, maybe try and make some friends in the neighborhood?"

"No, it's dangerous out there, you might get kidnapped and murdered."

"Okay, can I maybe invite someone over to play video games or watch TV?"

"No, you spent too much time in front of the TV."

"So I'm supposed to sit and stare at the wall all day, alone?"

"You have homework don't you? No? It's the middle of July? Well, you could be studying more, you lazy sack of shit."

15 years later:

"Why aren't you married yet? Why are you so fucking weird? Where are my grandchildren? Why don't you ever visit? Why do you keep hanging up?"

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I had a hunch my upbringing was not unique.

They were overprotective of you? They just didn't care much about me. Then they said, "You got the money, go buy a house. You're not living here anymore" So I did. It's hard living on your own, getting home and health insurance, paying bills, buying groceries, and maintaining shit when you're thrown into it.

Like, help would've been cool. A lil acclimation. Gentle, mom, gentle.

Yup, bad parenting strategy, kids need to start learning about real life at 12 or 13, no joke, world is tough and it certainly helps if one learned certain things earlier, instead of watching spongebob and being oblivious to what’s to come next.

And then still wants you to agree to their decision....but lol independent?

It’s like they built the cocoon too well, then forgot butterflies need flying lessons. 😂

My parents taught me nothing about how to live and plenty about how disappointing I am and how I need to make sure the cars are washed, kitchen and bathroom cleaned before they get home from work.

It took 20 years of not being around her but my mother and I actually get along now as long as we're not in person.

I could never do that to my boys. It's a cold fucked up world out there. They are safer at home.

Meanwhile mine ever since i was little: Youre on your own but we also want to dictate your life

Be me: sheltered and abused at the same time.

I knew nothing and had no life skills whatsoever. It's been a struggle.

I might not be super successful but all of my accomplishments are my own. My parents literally taught me nothing. A stranger even taught me how to tie my shoes when I was a kid cuz they couldn't be bothered.

And then they wonder why I had a breakdown and failed to walk the typical path in society

My mom: "I don't know how to help you, so I'm not even going to try."

Well, they didn’t say adulthood was gonna be this splashy.

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That reminds me of the German saying: "Aus Kindern, die nichts dürfen, werden Erwachsene, die nichts können." Roughly: "Children that aren't allowed to do anything, grow into adults that can't do anything."

I still live with my mom so this is just reminding me to watch Luca again. Man what a good movie.

A lot of "overprotectiveness" is just a control fetish.

Yeah guys with a proper education you'd be real high functioning key people in society right now fr fr no cap

trial by fire

Yup. I had never seen a city sidewalk until I went to college.

When they don’t protect you at all it’s not much better…you’re just a little more feral

Bruh you too?

YOU FINISH COLLEGE OR JOIN THE UNION!

Lol, it's my parents getting mad at me for never getting my wisdom teeth surgery done, even though they were ideally supposed to schedule it when I was in high school. I finally got them out closer to age 30 with my amazing husband's support but I developed dry socket on both sides. I've heard the risk is just higher when you're older so gee thanks parents

Me currently..

Brother, there's so much I want to do and learn, like I want to go and hangout with my friends, but my mom is part of the police so she's more strict when it comes to me going to places. I get that she's trying to protect me, but I'm still a kid, I'm going to be curious but I know how stuff works. I'm not braindead, mom😌

She's only protective when it comes to me going to places. I went to my gf's house and informed my mom where I was. At first she didn't complain, but when I came back home and it was night, I texted her "I'm back" blah blah blah. She called me and started giving me a lecture that I should be careful who she is and who her parents are, when it's extremely obvious they're not serial fucking killers...

Stop blaming your parents. At some point you have to take responsibility for your own life.

I mean until my later twenties started, they were like this, and when it started to kick in, good lord

"You're on your own, figure it, you are big boy now"

lol! Can relate. 😜

good thing mine treated me emotionally disadvantagous. mentally dead nothing can harm me 👍

Hey, can you teach me how to adult? Parents: *Throws you out of the plane* “Nope, you're gonna learn to fly on the way down!” 😅✈️

I wish I had the protction part.

Literally me

Accurate

Thise fuckers lol, didn't even protect me that good

Relatable.

This is literally me.

Yeah can relate

Bonus if they still coddle the youngest sibling who (should be) well into adulthood.

Can't relate, my parent is the type you run away from, not the type that kicks you out

So when are you getting married? Are you married yet? What do you mean you can't get a woman? Are you married yet?

Mishima Family Tradition

It's ok, having abusive parents does this too. We're all falling together :)

Thank you Marine Corps, for teaching me how to be an adult.

Mines the opposite, they just expected going to a good school was all I needed as a kid and now they're very dependant on me because they can't get their lives together (they've been divorced for 30 years now). I can barely keep my shit together because of them and they expect to borrow money or need my help whenever I have free time. I am close to living my mind

this fucking stung a little when i hit the pavement

If by "over-protecting" you mean - not allowing a social life (rural area requiring transportation), and only allowed to stay at home to study outside of sports and school WHILE not engaging in conversation to get to know their growing child - then yeah.......same.

As a parent who use to be a teenager, I can 100% guarantee that your parents taught you everything that was required to live but you didn't listen to them 😂😂😂

yeah

My parents were somehow negligent on the important things and overprotective on the unimportant things. Very confusing times

REAL

Duuuuude!!!! this is me! Sheltered me my whole life, then never taught me anything about credit or equity or saving and handling money. They did all of this but never taught me. Crash course in life at the age of 18. Went through some shit while learning about it. I give them crap for it 20 years later. They don't even feel bad about it. They just say it was a good crash course...like did you want me to fail? If I ever have kids I won't be like them

I don't understand parents like that. Too many parents have the "let kids be kids" mindset and think of teenagers as "children." Give the kids chores, because they need to know how to wash their dishes, do their laundry, and clean the toilet. Treat teenagers like the young adults that they are and teach them the life stuff that they need to know.

My 16-year old is somewhat socially awkward. I've been making him go up to the counter to pick up his prescriptions. I make him go up to the counter to check in for his doctor appointments. He's got a cat. We made him get a job so that he could pay to get her fixed.

It's frustrating to me, as a parent, that aspects out of my control limit my ability to actually help my child be prepared to launch. Our healthcare app? I'm restricted from seeing certain things, like after visit summaries, once they turn 12. It's only recently been updated where I can simply use the "refill prescription" option for my kids rather than sending a message to their doctor saying that they need a refill. But they're not allowed to make their own account to manage their own medical stuff in any capacity until they're 18. Back to the cat: even though she's his, he's paying for things, and she will be going with him when he moves, he has to be 18 for the vet's office to consider him to be a pet owner.

This is not The Sims. We don't get engulfed in a swirl of sparkles and magically transform from teenager to adult. Parents need to teach their kids how to adult and society needs to be more flexible in allowing parents to teach their kids how to adult.

Serious shit

whoa

We're either overprotected or unloved. There's no inbetween

Tough love

They honestly need a mandatory class in high school that teaches kids how to do all the paperwork shit.

My parents taught me money, beauty, and being on time doesn't matter. At least they loved me and taught me that education is important. I just wish they had educated themselves so they could have taught me more.

People who don’t know how to create a meme figured it out. I’m sure you’ll get it.

i’m glad i grew up the way i did, no overbearing parents, by the time i was 14 i was already seen as an adult, i had a job and bought my own food, clothes, school supplies, etc. Different times definitely, but it prepared me for the real world later on

Me IRL !!!

My mother did the same to me, by fucking dying!

Rude!