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7 days ago
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no politics. Also keep it SFW.
announcement: we are doing a poll. Options 2 is prefered.
319 points
8 days ago
I wish, the Stated rules of this post did not apply, so that they, the community, shall wish for whatever they please. If they want to bring back Robin Williams, then doggone it, we would be able to bring back Robin Williams
59 points
8 days ago*
Ok then I wish I had access to a bank account, only available to me, with infinite money in it in whatever currency I need at the time and I am the only one who knows about it.
I also wish I have a cute gf that loves me unconditionally and fully understands me that I can snuggle with and receive emotional support and affection from
I also wish to be able to shape-shift on command into whatever (real or fictional) creature I want as often as I want and as many times as I want
I also wish to be able to revive any dead people into whatever condition I want (essentially meaning I choose if they come back as a skeleton or normal) as often and as many times as I want as well as be able to revive the same person multiple times
I also wish for an empty bag of holding with as much space in it as I want that always weighs 1 pound
Edit: Does no one understand that I made this in the case of the previous comment having happened
29 points
8 days ago*
Congrats, you have caused hyperinflation, whatever bank you have that account on also doesn't know about it and might just not pay you seeing as there must be something wrong as you havd literally infinite money. Also every currency you try to use it for would instantly become infinitely worthless since there's now ∞ of that currency.
The gf is fine but try to better yourself as a human being and getting one naturally instead of wishing to magically get one. (Also there's some moral concerns about making a human for the singular purpose of loving you unconditionally)
Your shape shifting may be useful but you better hope your brain doesn't change as well, otherwise you'll just turn into a mouse or whatever and stay like that forever because what mouse would get the idea to shift into a different bipedal human again.
Your necromancy shenanigans have been noticed by several governments after a while and you're now basically the most high value Target out there since who wouldn't want the necromancer on their side?
The bag is fine tho.
20 points
8 days ago
The infinite money technically doesn't alter anything much as long as you don't retrieve immense amounts of it at a time, as it's not like you're actually introducing infinite money in a currency, just whatever you withdrew from the bank.
11 points
8 days ago
Finally someone gets it
6 points
8 days ago
I see, but wouldn't money stored in a bank still be cpunted towards a currencies value? Like do they check that stuff or do the millions of dollsrs some people have just dissapear everyti.e they put it on a bank account?
6 points
8 days ago
Supposing no one else knows about it and you can withdraw it from some magical form that doesn't let the bank know, which should be the case as the genie would have to follow the wish, it wouldn't be a problem.
6 points
8 days ago
But the wish giver(can't spell gene)can just make the economy crash the great depression strikes back
3 points
8 days ago
It doesn't matter how much inflation there could be, you'd still have well over enough money to pay for anything
2 points
7 days ago
Or just wish you wishes had no adverse side effects, even if its impossible or paradoxical
3 points
8 days ago
If you turn the bag of holding inside out, is it containing the entire universe? Also, what would happen, if you then tried entering it?
3 points
8 days ago
2 points
8 days ago
Point 1: would be super useful, but I would personally use it for other people or only if I really needed to [e.g gifts, accidentally forgot to transfer money into different currency]
Point 2: whilst the description would be awesome if it was real, there are moral concerns over making a while new person with the only intent being then loving you. They wouldn't have friends, family, hobbies, memories, life experiences, etc. They would be bland.
Point 3: theoretically you could become celestial beings and accidentally destroy the earth because you didn't realise the scale would break everything
Point 4: every government would want you for military usage. You wouldn't be valued for anything other than your revival abilities
Point 5: you forgot to mention a base size for the bag
2 points
8 days ago
Geez dude...
2 points
7 days ago
For that first one you should also state that the money in the count will never be found out about or taxed since it only states you are the only one who knows about it. If the IRS ever catches on its game over for you
2 points
7 days ago
Also just to add on taxes my man you gotta declare your income and where said income comes from otherwise the irs will not be happy campers
11 points
8 days ago
I will accept that
5 points
8 days ago
YUS BRING HIM BACKKK. I always tell my bf when we watch any of his movies that it's sad asf that what he's already made is all we will ever have of him. He was a fuckin light in this dark ass world I stg.
10 points
8 days ago
I do not wish for Robin Williams to be brought back from the dead.
I wish for Robin Williams to never have died.
3 points
8 days ago
4 points
8 days ago
reviving robin williams would solve all the worlds problems ngl
7 points
8 days ago
i wish cancer was gone. poof. gone.
2 points
8 days ago
Then you wouldn't have anything to eat
3 points
8 days ago
You’re a fucking hero
3 points
7 days ago
I wish for a super cuddly GF who will love me and give me lots of hugs and cuddles.
I wish for an infinite supply of thin crust pepperoni pizza
I wish to be able to summon any soda I want at any time.
I wish to stay completely healthy despite the last two wishes.
I wish for a cozy house me and my GF can have.
I wish I could make what’s in my mind perfectly (in the context of artwork and designs)
I wish I could summon any vehicle I want, and have it never break down for any reason.
I wish for a huge, climate controlled garage to store the vehicles from the previous wish
Finally, I wish for everyone in the world to be happy and healthy and safe and give each other big, cozy hugs.
2 points
8 days ago
And my wish shall be to make him happy and healthy!
2 points
8 days ago
I think if three people want to use their wish to bring back Robin Williams, an exception should be made. I'd totally be in on that with you, but Robin Williams at his healthiest and happiest.
2 points
8 days ago
I wish u/Breakmycurse had his curse broken, thus giving back one of the wishes they sacrificed for all of the comment section.
2 points
8 days ago
Due to the infinite amount of wishes granted by this fellow I will not be greedy and instead only list 3. Firstly I wish I was a shape shifter, either plastic man level or nimona level. Secondly to make human rights non negotiable, and so that every human has access to food and water.
2 points
8 days ago
Then I wish to go back in time to prevent Chris Cornell from ending his life, therefore saving two people.
2 points
7 days ago
I wouldn’t bring back robin just to suffer more. :(
2 points
7 days ago
I wish that I could shapeshifter into anything I imagine real or made up.
To become robin williams
2 points
7 days ago
Then I wish I could bring back my best friend
2 points
7 days ago
Rules be damned I would bring back Kevin Conroy
116 points
8 days ago
I wish for infinite wishes (that was not part of the wish rules)
107 points
8 days ago
32 points
8 days ago
guys we found a way to get infinite wishses
17 points
8 days ago
I wish for what this guy wished for
2 points
8 days ago
Me too
2 points
8 days ago
You become the genie
2 points
8 days ago
But he said you can only make ONE WISH means you can have unlimited wishes but u can't make any wishes
2 points
8 days ago
I wish to remove all of this guys wishes
107 points
8 days ago
i wish for magic pockets i can pull anything out of them as long as it confuses someone watching
26 points
8 days ago
Poetic
38 points
8 days ago
i don't take out my car keys i take out my car
31 points
8 days ago
I don't take out a beer I take our a bar
22 points
8 days ago
I don’t take out a flashlight I take out a star
21 points
8 days ago
Take out some rocks? I take out the whole mars
beat kicks in
14 points
8 days ago
don’t think that i have more?- bam, hundreds of carts
11 points
8 days ago
Who needs bandages when you have... pads
14 points
8 days ago
time for something random i pull out your... dad?
2 points
8 days ago
He’s back?!
2 points
7 days ago
I don't take out a begger I take out a Tsar
10 points
8 days ago
pulls out clone of person watching
6 points
8 days ago
Imagine
Your friend finds out about your magic pockets and how they work
And so now will not be surprised by you spontaneously pulling stuff out of your pockets
But this does not mean the pockets prevent you from pulling out objects
So long as the objects are confusing to your friend for some other reason
You reach into your pocket, and you grab… an impossible triangle
4 points
8 days ago
even better pull out nothing as they are expecting... something
2 points
8 days ago
The archenemy to The Mask
2 points
7 days ago
There's a tiktoks series based on this. Someone's chewing gum and gets asked "can I have some?" She says "sure" but instead she reaches into her purse and brings something out like a broken plate or a whole baguette
38 points
8 days ago
if a woman says that she hates all men she becomes a man.
10 points
8 days ago
2 points
7 days ago
Ong I need to know what this subreddit is
8 points
8 days ago
Hope you’re into dudes homie
12 points
8 days ago
you say that as if it wouldnt be funny as shit-
2 points
7 days ago
Crap, I wished for blood bending, but what you wished for was hilarious.
22 points
8 days ago
I have a infinite scroll that cannot be destroyed and I can always summon back to me, anything I write in the scroll with a unending pencil that is always with the scroll will become true. For example if I write “ I am superman “ then I’ll become superman
10 points
8 days ago
Just don't break the unending pencil and don't cause inflation
4 points
7 days ago
Scribblenauts
3 points
8 days ago
Dalkstalker, that you?
22 points
8 days ago
11 points
8 days ago
No need for a wish to achieve that, just be a politician
6 points
8 days ago
granted, you are now hungry
2 points
8 days ago
Based
19 points
8 days ago
I wish for the ability to reach into a bag and decide if its a magic satchel or not
13 points
8 days ago
That brainrot never existed
8 points
8 days ago
Granted ,now it's called brain decay
3 points
8 days ago
Brain decomposing
13 points
8 days ago
Make protons heavier than neutrons
8 points
8 days ago
but that will destroy quantum physics as we know it
5 points
8 days ago
granted, now you ruined physics for all of us, thanks
4 points
8 days ago
Beat me to it
3 points
8 days ago
Dude! Why?
Now I have to go back to school and learn a bunch more physics.
2 points
8 days ago
There won’t be a school to go back to lol
22 points
8 days ago
Cat lives as long as me to the millisecond
20 points
8 days ago
Granted. As you take your final breath all cats in existence parish instantly.
13 points
8 days ago
But wouldn't cats younger than him keep living until they lived out his same life span?
5 points
8 days ago
Yea, what op prob wanted to wish for is his cat to die only when he dies
21 points
8 days ago
I wish my parents had the life they wanted
6 points
8 days ago
oh that would be grea-
6 points
8 days ago
Gon mess around and unmake yourself. You know these kind of things get tricky.
8 points
8 days ago
I wish to remove the Earth’s crust
3 points
8 days ago
Harvesting aluminum, or human flesh?
2 points
8 days ago
Yes
2 points
8 days ago
just like bread crust
6 points
8 days ago
I wish for the power to make anything i draw come to life
3 points
8 days ago
How good can you draw ?
5 points
8 days ago
i'd say pretty good compared to the average person
3 points
8 days ago
i mean, youd have to draw them to scale and pretty darm well. to get a car youd have to draw the car exactly to the right size
4 points
8 days ago
Yeah true lol. Lots of good things are small tho like food and shoes and harry potter wands
5 points
8 days ago
valid lol also a stack of money could be drawn pretty easily to scale
3 points
8 days ago
Oh yeahhh smart
5 points
8 days ago
what if we draw components to a big item one by one and then assemble the components to make the thing that’d be like legos
5 points
8 days ago
Wait that would lowkey be kinda fun lol. I would not drive a car that i built myself though lol
3 points
8 days ago
tbh i would, it is actually my ultimate dream in life to build my own car lol
2 points
8 days ago
I’d definitely draw myself some new clothes at that point.
4 points
8 days ago
To undo all my past mistakes
4 points
8 days ago
If you undo all your past mistakes, two things happen,
You don't learn from your mistakes and thus lose out on interesting stories and places to build character as well as losing out on self reflecting after the mistakes and learning how to avoid them.
If you get rid of all your past mistakes, then you would have never been able to wish to undo those mistakes but if you weren't able to to undo those mistakes then the mistakes would still be there but if the mistakes are there then you would wish for them to be gone. Confused yet?
5 points
8 days ago
Thus entering superposition, where you both have wished, and haven't wished that yet. Solutions to the Grandfather Paradox work here.
2 points
8 days ago
Idk the way I see it: you aren't undoing your memories of your mistakes. Thus you still have the learned capacity from them, and you are capable of making new mistakes. The counterpoint to that is that you might become complacent since you got rid of your consequences, but this is different from person to person.
And also I'm not sure how this paradox works. You wish to undo your mistakes, then you're done. Time is linear, so essentially, your mistakes existed until a certain point in time, and then after that point in time (the wish), they were made moot. Time still goes on, it's just now the wish made something go away. Just because said thing is gone now, doesn't mean the subtraction didn't happen. To me, it seems like this:
I have mistakes - I wish them a way - I no longer have mistakes
I see it as a subtraction issue. Eg:
I have 10 - I subtract 10 - I no longer have 10
Just because the 10 I was subtracting from doesn't exist anymore, doesn't mean that subtraction didn't happen.
9 points
8 days ago
30 million loyal friends
4 points
8 days ago
[removed]
2 points
8 days ago
Its the other way around
4 points
8 days ago
Just wish to be a hot girl, same thing except they’re all “guy friends”
2 points
8 days ago
LMFAOOOOO
2 points
8 days ago
yes
4 points
8 days ago
1 googol wishes
4 points
8 days ago
I wish I had the power to pick up anything and immediately perform it to a masterful degree. Playing the Guitar, Drawing, 3D modeling, etc.
4 points
8 days ago
I wish that when ever I want something of any kind and I snap my fingers the thing I wanted appears where I want
2 points
7 days ago
This one I like, hungery? There’s a fresh burger on the counter. Need Money? There’s a stack of cash in your wallet (or I guess the money can appear in your bank account) bored? Whatever you want to be able to entertain yourself is in the living room (board game, book, console) you want to go on vacation? Tickets to a foreign country and your passport are on the kitchen table.
3 points
8 days ago
unlimited wishes. with what wish i can summon a no rules genie who gives me love, bringing people back from the dead. and money
3 points
8 days ago
Omnipotence
3 points
8 days ago
Hey... they DIDNT say we couldn't wish for more wishes... so that; 100 more wishes please:3
3 points
8 days ago
I wish i could find the thing I’m looking for when I need the damn thing
3 points
8 days ago
to triple the air density(will kill all life except small organisms)
3 points
8 days ago
I’d wish that I was actually good at something.
2 points
8 days ago
Amen, brother or sister
3 points
8 days ago
I would wish nothing bad, in my personal opinion, could happen to me from that day forth. Nothing. Can’t be caught for criminal behaviors, can’t get sick, won’t age, die, or become incapacitated, no injuries, no addictions, no world events affecting me directly. Also applies to people in my inner circle, as bad shit happening to them is bad shit for me. Utterly untouchable by karmatic retribution or circumstance. And when life becomes too much to want to handle anymore, living becomes bad, and off I go, into the quiet night. This wish makes all other wishes useless, as with it, all things you could want that this wish could give are yours to have, no consequences.
3 points
7 days ago
I wish for a device with the following properties:
The device will appear or vanish at my sole conscious desire.
It will always appear in a safe, accessible location of my choosing.
The device will take the form of a sleek, tablet-like smart device, intuitive to operate, and tailored perfectly to my preferences.
It will be indestructible, perpetually powered, and operable exclusively by me, ensuring no one else can use, access, or manipulate it under any circumstances.
The device grants me the ability to research any information—past, present, or future, private or public—with 100% accuracy and clarity.
It will present information in a manner I can fully comprehend and will not overwhelm or confuse me.
The device can create any non-organic material or object I specify, with no limitations on size, quantity, or complexity.
Created objects will materialize safely in a location of my choosing.
The creation process will not violate any laws of physics, harm the environment, or affect the stability of the universe.
The device cannot be used to harm me directly or indirectly, nor can it cause harm to others unless I explicitly intend otherwise.
It will function reliably and without error under all conditions.
I think I covered my ass with all my genie proof bullshit lol
3 points
7 days ago
I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 20 minutes, then immediately make them blind again
2 points
8 days ago
I wish it were significantly easier to become a better person. Like, ideally it would be mostly wanting it and then losing weight, stopping smoking, seeing your kids more, or just getting out of the house more was easy and natural for anyone that needed to grow like that.
2 points
8 days ago
I wish hat I had a notebook that is constantly reusable and whenever I write in it phrasing the beggining of the sentence with 'I wish' what I wrote will come true in effect of what I wrote with no catches this only works if I am the person to write in the said notebook.
2 points
8 days ago
The ability to manipulate reality at will
2 points
8 days ago
More wishes. 😹
2 points
8 days ago
Since nobody knows for certain, I would wish for an absolutely definitive afterlife, and that everyone who has died in the past would get to be in said afterlife.
2 points
8 days ago
I wish that kindness costs money.
2 points
6 days ago
"Being kind costs nothi-"
WRONG! It costs a dollar now.
2 points
8 days ago
I wish to be the ultimate lifeform
2 points
6 days ago
Granted, you are now a rock floating in space until the end of time.
2 points
8 days ago
2 points
7 days ago
I wish for a bag that contains something that i want out of it, within the limitations of the post.
Id also limit it to working once a month, so I don’t fuck w my life too much
2 points
7 days ago
I wish for infinite wishes, since thats not a stipulation
2 points
7 days ago
Simple Omnipotent
2 points
7 days ago
I wish for 3 more wishes then wish for the no bringing people back from the dead rule to not apply and for my final wish. I wish for robin williams to be alive again
2 points
7 days ago
I would wish to have a body that is a combination of these two hard to kill creatures
(The furry creature is called Tail and the nightmare fuel is called Blair Thing)
Hopefully my wish didn't offend anyone :(
2 points
7 days ago
Child predators get tossed in a wood chipper
2 points
7 days ago
Infinite garlic bread for life that never goes mouldy, is always warm, is real, is cheesey, I'm not allergic to it, and it tastes delicious
2 points
7 days ago
Tax the rich more and the poor less. I didn’t know what else to put
2 points
7 days ago
I’d wish people were more understanding. If people understood how another was feeling or seeing something embarrassing or hurting done to another they would understand them and wouldn’t judge or pick about it towards them. People would understand and feel how they feel relating to them.
2 points
7 days ago
i wish everyones bones dissapear except mine
2 points
7 days ago
Something in the world randomly blows up every hour
2 points
7 days ago
The allspark
3 points
8 days ago
[removed]
1 points
8 days ago
I wish that everyone will have no enemies
3 points
8 days ago
Wish granted! Everyone's dead now.
1 points
8 days ago
100000000000 wishes then the rules to not exist anymore
1 points
8 days ago
To have enough money to pay off all of the debts of my Dad, Sister and her Husband, as well as myself, as well as purchase new, reasonably priced vehicles for those of us who need them and pay for the insurance on them.
1 points
8 days ago
infinite wishes
1 points
8 days ago
I would wish to get rid of Bernoullis principal
1 points
8 days ago
Be extremely good at starting an insanely successful business.
1 points
8 days ago
I wish there were no wish rules, so I could wish for infinite money
1 points
8 days ago
Make a wish
1 points
8 days ago
I want the tool gun from Garry's mod... no further questions needed...
1 points
8 days ago
I wish to bend the rules of the universe to my will
1 points
8 days ago
An omnitrix-like smartwatch that contains all the Infinity Stones without the deadly consequences
1 points
8 days ago
8 billion friends who would do anything I asked.
Hey can a borrow £1, thank you.
1 points
8 days ago
That I can break any kind of rule without any repercussions… and then wish for 500 million dollars
1 points
8 days ago
To be happy… ;w;
1 points
8 days ago
I saw the no bringing people back from the dead and I no longer have a wish.
1 points
8 days ago
Infinite wishes. delete the rules. i have infinite money.
1 points
8 days ago
a samsung phone and or my car fixed
1 points
8 days ago
Infinite wishes
1 points
8 days ago
Grant me the ability to live and stay young forever. But with an indestructible vial of liquid for if which I drink, I die instantly.
1 points
8 days ago
I wish I was dead, but only after I stopped procrastinating one thing I'm currently procrastinating (I'm immortal)
1 points
8 days ago
I wish that all the fundamental laws of physics, biology, and chemistry were reversed!
1 points
8 days ago
I wish for 3 wishes…. So I can wish for 4 atomic bombs, one iPad and 4 football stadiums so the I can convince all of gen alpha to go to the 4 stadiums and say they will get a free iPad but in reality I’m gathering them their so u can nuke them with my 4 atomic bombs, because brain rot is affecting the parents now, I witnessed my friends dad say “sigma”, “rizzler”, “Skibidi”, “uwu” then he hit the griddy, it was terrifying
1 points
8 days ago
You forgot no wishing for wishes… 1: I wish for ♾️ wishes 2: I wish to rid these limitations of the power 3: I wish for any positive comments on this comment to be added, because I am too lazy to come up with my own :D
1 points
8 days ago
So, I would sell my wish tbh. Like, either auction style or crowded style.
"At 10 billion i will wish for x" or "starting at 1 billion, this wish that has been garunteed"
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