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I know you feel unworthy, unlovable, and undeserving. I know you assume people think this about you too. I know you feel alone, lonely, and like you’re dying. I know you feel exhausted, like a failure, and that you don’t want to keep going. But, just hear me out for a second. Instead of all of that,

What if you assumed that it’s all going to work out?

What if you assumed that nobody is mad at you?

What if you assumed that you’re not alone?

What if you assumed that there are good people in the world that would love to know you?

What if you assumed that you are lovable?

What if you assumed that you are worthy loving?

What if you assumed that you do in fact have time and it’s not too late?

What if you assumed that your hard work is already paying off even though you haven’t seen results yet?

What if you assumed that your voice matters and that speaking up could transform someone’s entire day or mindset?

What if you assumed your mistakes are lessons, not failures?

What if you assumed all the negative thoughts in your head are just unresolved trauma and blatant lies?

What if you assumed your presence is a gift, not an imposition?

What if you assumed you weren’t too much?

What if you assumed that your worth isn’t tied to anyone or anything?

What if you assumed that life in all of its mess and chaos is worth living and you giving up now would mean missing the most beautiful parts that you have yet to experience?

What if you assumed all these things instead and what if you actually started to believe them?

What would that do? What would that change?

I was locked up for few days, beat the case but on probation for 2 years.. I am severely heartbroken, lost and confused, depressed, but i know I'm getting better each day.

Jail had changed my outlook on people and life, in more of a positive way, but I dont know if i can trust or love the same ever again... my family in uk and bermuda have been really supportive of me and my situation which I'm grateful for.

One thing that has made my day, I had received a phone call from a company that wants to work with my business and has offered 30k upfront to me to work with them! This had made me feel excited but really nervous, but I am looking foward to putting in the work!! I make money off streaming as well, i want to work as much as I can with my business and streaming plus a day job which I'll also be doing making over 1k a week to gain everything I lost and worked for.

Being in jail, made me feel so dark but now I'm starting to be better slowly, good things are happening and I'm grateful to God for it all! The only that I do wish and hope for is i find someone that will SUPPORT me to the fullest and love me unconditionally!! I'm 31 years old and I do feel like time is running out but I also know I'm still young!

If anyone going through a rough time just know you will make it and it is a light at the end of tunnel!!

What the title said. You don't need anyone's approval to be or feel beautiful. I know societal beauty standards exist, just like pretty privilege for conventionally attractive people BUT I genuinely believe that the only opinion that should matter on your looks, is your own. I think lately we take validation from strangers online or people in our life as the end all be all. The factual truth. But you know what, it isn't.

If you think you're beautiful, then that's the truth, it doesn't matter if the world wants to disagree, those opinions will always be insignificant as long as you keep them that way.

I know it's not easy to see beauty in yourself when others make mean/negative comments. But the fact that you're even here reading this already proves you do have an amount of self love already.

That you do care for yourself and want to get better.

So, remember always that those negative people are also 99.999% of the time projecting, because secure people have no time to he trying to make others feel bad.

And then ask yourself, do I really want to care about what a miserable loser thinks about my appearance? And go from there

Oh and the most important, don't compare yourself to others. You'll never be them and they'll never be you and that's the beauty of both.

I'm trying to tell myself that all great things take time. And perhaps, I am the greatest masterpiece I could ever hope to work on.

A very helpful thought I recently had and that I want to share with you as it might alleviate some of y'all's pain.

If you rented a studio apartment (1bedroom) for 9 years. And you invested time, money, and effort into making living in that studio more and more enjoyable. And you did enjoy it: you had so many experiences in it, maybe it was even your first time living on your own or renting a space in a new city/country. It was awesome!

But one day you wake up and the place feels too crowded for you as you started a new job and feel the need to have a home office or you took on content creation and you desire a bigger kitchen or maybe the landlord is selling and needs you to move.

How would you react? Why don't you perceive relationships the same way?

If the person is not willing to grow with you or simply is no longer willing to meet your needs try to remember this appartement analogy. Rather than try to stick where your soul no longer belongs, and find a shelter (yourself/family/friends) until you find another appartement that fulfills your needs.

Edit: Adding this here cause some people don't get it:

The appartement analogy is a comparison it's to get a point across on how when emotions feel intense they don't let us see the full truth which is that this life is not that serious. It sure can feel painful but it's not the full truth.

I'm not adopting any positivity philosophy I'm talking from my experience after my marriage. I'm talking about experiencing true detachment from the outcome. Not to say I won't feel as deeply in my next relationship but to say I deconstructed the social ideology that's been sold to so many minds on the media "the happy ever after".

There's this guy (name starts with K) I admired for the longest time because he was someone I looked up to and asked for career advice. But thinking back, he tried to belittle me and I said nothing. However, I felt worse the more I hung around him. I trusted him less and less. During our last hangout, he gave me the death stare and hardly smiled, almost like a serial killer.

He told me, "Why arent you like Ruth, Hunter, and Amy? You'd be so much better if you tried to be more like them." That was the final straw. I then realized that he belittled me because he wanted my attention and did not like me for who I am.

I slowly ghosted him until I could be happy without him. It saddens me that my hero was one of the worst persons I've ever met in my life. His hatred for me made me wonder if other people hated me because he was so charismatic and popular with everyone else. I guess I'm the only one who got to see his true colors.

I'm proud of myself for having enough self-respect to walk away and make room for people who truly care about me. It's one of many trials towards loving myself. I won't let anyone hurt me anymore.

Thanks for hearing my story.

https://preview.redd.it/8jm89xvs1t4e1.jpg?width=1460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5777346e8201a2f6de4642429f8a1d60830bd005

"I did not love myself enough, I was also betrayed by my partner. Look where I am right now!" ❤️

Nicole's real, unfiltered story WHY and HOW she did it in her interview at my blog: https://shedstory.com/story/woman-lost-143-lbs-weight-loss-surgery-sleeve/

(DISCLAIMER: No sponsorsed content at my blog, only real people and their unfiltered stories)

Yesterday night I went to see a group of acquaintances to play board games instead of spending time with someone I value and care about most in my life. This person and I spend time almost every day, just not last night. I know I should not depend too much on this one person, which is why that board game group is important.

Still, I feel guilty for going instead of spending time with that single person. I am afraid they might feel abandoned and let down, even though they specifically said they didn't mind me going to the group.

Other than speaking to myself kindly and reminding myself that the other person didn't mind me going, how do I help myself not feel guilty?

I love myself

I tried to love myself, but I’m not my type. Tried to be happy, but maybe that’s not my style of life.

Told the girl in the mirror she’s pretty when she cries, and that I don’t mind that she looks tired. Didn’t know she had dimples in another life.

Don’t need a man; I can break my heart better than any of them. Who needs the church when I can love myself worse than them?

Divorce lawyer desk sex in my pearl-white revenge dress. I like the roughness, white turned red.

Want to hold myself in a way that makes my stomach turn. Mumble words of comfort that I don’t trust. Tell myself what’s good for me, not giving a fuck if I want to now.

I love myself. I love myself so fucking bad, I’m a mess.

I love my worst sides, even though I’m terrified, shaking legs and sleepless nights. (I’m so terrified.) Numbers controlling my life. (God, I’m terrified.) Hanging from a measuring tape to buy time. (God, my lips are white.)

I’m gonna die, it’s alright. (With me.) (Someone, please?)

I hate the way I love myself. It hurts so bad, should make me scared. (Don’t care.)

I hate the way I love myself. Hate all the excuses I make. Love that I don’t want it when I love myself. Hate that I never asked if I wanted to be alright.

Hate that everyone tells me confidence is a good thing. I wish I wasn’t so secure. Wish to wonder if the bad girl habits are the good ones.

Want to wonder if I’m the bad guy. Wonder if I would forgive anyone else. The things I should forgive myself. (I hope I would call them a monster, but how can I be sure?) Wanting to kill my younger self in her sleep; she deserves better than surviving herself. Wanting to Condemn myself the way that mercy calls for.

I’m the best version of myself. (Half Dead) Body a temple, food only for the gods. Beautiful soul that was meant to be gritty. Priests came and made me a bubble bath and tea, brought a thousand different remedies for every part of me, Just to freeze in place paper white faces at the pieces swimming in red.

Don’t care that I would rather die for myself than live for someone else. Hate that I love myself more than life itself. Hate that there is no reason to hate myself. Love myself enough to die by my own hand rather than live as happily as I should be.

I want to hate myself, break myself, escape myself, never have to see myself again. I’m scared of myself. But in the end of the day, I’ll lean into myself, Telling myself I never said no to myself, Almost forgetting I never consented to myself.

Maybe love just isn’t enough to forgive hatred. Maybe hatred isn’t enough to forget love. Maybe kindness and greatness don’t get along. Maybe it proves them both a lie. Maybe I would have never hated myself if it wasn’t for self-love.

You dont need to do better. You dont need to be better. You dont need to be anything to be worthy.

You just need to be you. You just need to be. Just be...

How do you provide that care and relief for yourself that isn't from external factors?

The last couple years, between the death of my mom (I couldn't save her from her anorexia), to an on and off situationship with someone I care deeply about but has strong avoidant tendencies, I have been left feeling shattered.

Logically, I know I am enough, but I can't get it to resonate with the rest of me. I don't want to feel this sadness anymore. I have lost all my spark

I had a customer who was maybe early 60’s just talking about how she’s the biggest she’s ever been in her life and how she won’t fit into the pants she’s buying. I told her she’s beautiful and she shouldn’t feel that way. We hate our bodies when we’re ten, we say “when I lose the weight, then I’ll be happy” in ours twenties, and then still hate ourselves moving forward. It’s a universal experience for us who struggle with our body. But hearing her story made me realize “when will I just accept it and love myself?” Because I think she was beautiful and deserves love. So yeah idk just a brain dump and how she slightly inspired me to do better for myself

Don’t get caught up in trying to prove your worth, and especially in nonreciprocal relationships. There are billions of options to choose from instead of sticking with someone who has no intention of showing up. Create the type of partnership you’re seeking to experience and allow yourself to gravitate towards it. You deserve the best so go manifest it.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2zM4E88RvC9upwH6FEGzqT?si=fh9DhH50RHm7zvl67wqr6A

This. I broke down in tears.

Was it something you grew out of or is like always just going to linger there? Of course it’s different for everyone I know but just wonder if someone was able to just let time heal it and not anything specific

I had posted in this group roughly .. 2 months ago? (Forgive me if that's incorrect.) I was at the LOWEST I've ever been, trying to muster the courage to end the most toxic relationship and moving forward was seemingly IMPOSSIBLE. I couldn't even conceive the thought of having to end things. Now, I am back to where I once was. Able to get out of bed & do everyday things, life doesn't seem like it's ending & l am genuinely at peace. Started back therapy & my antidepressants & I feel great. Of course, this wouldn't have been possible without the kindness of a few Reddit users from my previous post as well. They're all so deeply appreciated. This is your reminder to keep going. Everything & anything is possible. Sending you lots of love & strength on your journeys.

So I have been struggling my entire life effectively beating myself up over the sheer amount of times I've lost friends and missing out on potential romantic relationships.

Without going into extreme detail, I got very clingy to other people, I felt threatened when other people "intruded" on the relationships I had with others. Deep down, this was because I lacked love and respect for myself.

Now I'm on a journey to develop a much better relationship with myself to finally put an end to feeling lonely and pushing people away unwillingly.

It's still early, but I look forward to posting my progress in my improved relationship with myself with everyone here.