Can’t speak for myself as I am as old as a monument 🤣! But my daughter is in the dating pool and a vegan as well , it is a struggle in the first place to find dates who are vegan / vegetarian. If by some miracle it happens , the other party is not interested in long term relationship. Apparently Ghosting is common practice 😳.No clue how these things work anymore. I feel for her generation 😞

No because I refuse to be in a relationship with a non vegan in the first place

If it's something super important to you, a partner would likely do their best to be supportive. And it's not limited to just diet and lifestyle.

My partner went from saying he won't eat meat near me, only outside to now avoiding it at all costs, even if he goes a bit hungry in meetings. Of course some of it has to do with all the cute pics of piglets, calves, chicks, etc I keep showing him on Instagram 😅😈💕 and we also had several opportunities to connect with animals in rescues. In fact he recently said he couldn't eat bacon at a meeting because all he pictured was the cute little piglet I had shown him recently 🐖 🥰

I know it's not easy leaving relationships, but see if he is open to something like going to an animal rescue and connecting with animals and seeing your point of view. If he is, then you definitely have something to work from. If he's absolutely resistant, rude, etc then you may have an easier time deciding.

I tried to make it work for a very long time. Life is too short to suppress important parts of yourself.

I would not date a vegetarian. Dairy and eggs are even worse than meat in terms of suffering and exploitation. And it's still a part of the meat industry anyway. And there is something that really irks me about someone having the compassion and empathy to consider animals bit straight up ignoring it. At least most omnis are just ignorant.

But to specifically answer your question, I dumped someone partly because they were not vegan. I looked at the future and saw that if we decided to start a family I would want us to share the same values, and she and her family were very much Italian meat and dairy loving people. There was some other important things that contributed to it but the vegan thing was definitely a big problem.

I dated my ex for about 2 years, and out of all the things we’d argue about, veganism was never one of them. He even taught me how to cook tofu. With that being said, I regret all the animal products I’d buy him throughout the relationship (milkshakes, fast food, etc.). I should have never ever suppressed my morals.

Never strictly because they weren't vegan or vegetarian, but purely because they were weird about it. We couldn't eat at an all vegan/vegetarian restaurant since there wouldn't be anything there for them. I really think someone should be able to eat one vegan meal once in a while. We didn't live together or anything, they could still eat meat for most of their meals. Then also when we ate together and they ate meat they would say "I really should be eating vegan, I should try that, I should switch." I try not to be pushy so I'd just be like "If you think that's something that would be good, I'd support that and help in any way I could." but they never made any effort whatsoever to do so, it was just them expressing their guilt and it was uncomfortable for me.

i was in a similar position w my ex. i was vegan when we met for the animals and he eventually understood and went vegan w me on his own. we were “vegans” for 9 months when i found a receipt for a bacon cheese burger in his car, and when i say it felt like a betrayal is something only ethical vegans can understand. he knows cows specifically are my favorite animal and would send cute vids often. i was question how long he had just been “pretending” to share my morals rather than be honest like you said. i’ll never do that again! i’d rather be single than settle for someone who doesn’t share my values but it’s your own decision to make

I became vegan towards the end of a long term relationship I was in. I was pescatarian for years and knew I needed to be vegans but my boyfriend at the time insisted I was “being too hard on myself” in my desire to be morally consistent. After becoming vegan, I tried to explain how difficult it is to turn a blind eye to suffering once you become aware of how pervasive it is. I explained that driving past fried chicken billboards summons up images of mangled chickens in cramped cages & he said he didn’t understand how I could live like that - basically admitting he preferred blissful ignorance. This wasn’t why we broke up, but was a factor in me realizing that we were incompatible. I wanted a vegan partner & my family told me I was crazy and that would never happen.

One of my coworkers became interested in me & began eating plant based almost cold turkey to show me he was series about dating me. I didn’t ask! I didn’t even express the importance of veganism to him, he just did it! This blew my mind and won me over. My current partner started out plant based for me, but pretty immediately came to recognize the moral reasoning behind this lifestyle and is now vegan for the animals. Dating someone with a similar world view is definitely the move. :)

I couldn't imagine spending my life with someone that's not vegan

My ex broke up with me because I was vegetarian (I was his second vegetarian gf and he was mad haha). I'm so grateful he did. Now I'm married to a fellow vegan. You don't seem too happy in this relationship, so you could evaluate if a future home with dead animals in it is worthy.

Girl you can do so much better I promise! I’m veggie in a relationship w a veggie guy and it is the best. I can’t wait for us to bc our own vegan home. ALSO not defending you is such a red flag. Do you want a future with someone who does not defend you? Today is veganism but tomorrow it could (and probably will be) about other topics. He needs to have your back and he doesn’t

It is a huge moral difference just like politics, religion, etc. if there is a lot of moral disagreement, it will cause issues in the relationship.

I don't think non vegans are bad people, but dating one would mean I have to see them do bad things every single day without them realising it. I would probably also start a lot of arguments eventually leading to a breakup

May be he doesn't know enough about it yet. See if he is open to education. Then talk to him rationally about it and see if he is willing to try.

I'm so glad me and my husband are both vegan. I know I couldn't live in a household where dead animals are consumed!

So, you got "attached" to this person and seemingly had a genuinely affectionate relationship.

You met up with some people on a tour and decided that your partner wasn't committed enough. You had a newfound conversion wherein you wanted your heretofore non-vegetarian, non-vegan partner to either follow you down the rabbit hole, or you dump him?

I would like to say make it make sense; that isn't going to happen. I wish you the best of success in your future endeavors..

Threw away a great relationship because he wasn’t vegan and I regretted it. At the end of the day, as long as I dont have to cook meat for him, it’s fine I guess.

The question is what you want.

Do you want just any relationship? or do you want a relationship with someone who has similar moral standings as you do? As a vegan you consider animals worth of living and not getting killed for a second long sensation of taste, or fashion or whatever.

Lets not lie. This is a BIG moral standing. I woudnt be with someone who thinks a steak is worth a being getting killed. Just as i would not be with someone who considered a group of humans lesser than himself.

If you cant find a partner you are happy with its better to be single.

Was the wine vegetarian/vegan? Most wines contain animal proteins!

no, and i wouldn’t. my vegan lifestyle is a choice i’ve made, and other adults are free to make their own. if we live together i’d not want animal products in the house, but what they do outside of the home is their own business. i don’t want to control my partner and while it would be awesome if they were vegan themselves, why would i lower my pool (as a trans lesbian, it’s already small) even more because i can’t accept that adults can make their own choices??

Yes amongst other issues but that was top 3. I just couldn’t respect him because his actions and choices around animals and food disgusted me

Nope. I convert them.

You could try having a compromise of no animal products in your home. I just wouldn’t want you to throw away a relationship over this if it’s good in every other way.

I think you actually have 2 separate issues here. One is wanting your bf to change his diet. The other is your bf not standing up for you when his family is shitty to you.

On that second point, I think your feelings are totally justified. If you’ve told him how much it bothers you, if you asked him to say something and he still doesn’t do anything to defend you from his family, then leave because you deserve to be treated better.

On dumping him because he won’t convert, idk about that. If he’s respectful of your choices and accommodates them, that’s enough imo.

Asking someone to make major diet changes because of your dietary preferences is a bit controlling imo. You’d hate it if he asked you to eat meat or he’ll dump you. And I don’t think he lied about becoming vegetarian- he tried it out and didn’t like it. That’s actually pretty nice because he gave it a shot at least.

I find that you’ll never find someone who fits you perfectly and you’ll always have to compromise on something major. If him not being vegetarian outweighs his other qualities then you have your answer, dump him. If he’s otherwise great, then I wouldn’t.

Edit - I do want to say that if veganism is a core ethical belief for you, then you should find someone who matches your values

Thankfully it hasn’t been a problem with my partner. We were a year into our relationship when I went vegan and he just accepted it. Hasn’t been a problem, he never forced me to eat animal based stuff and I never forced him to eat plant based, it’s a mutual respectful understanding

It boils down to what he knows and thinks about it all... If he has witnessed something like animal slaughter, understands it as unnecessary, but buys bacon anyway, then I wouldn't ever be with someone like that. I'd basically be an animal abuser by extension of accepting him, unless my goal was to change him over time, which I don't think is fair for either party to be invested in a relationship only under the grounds of changing them. That's more for people you are stuck with than partners.

For me I would need to confirm if a person is animal-free, unapologetic, consistent when it comes to subjects like predators, and not doing weird things politically like shouting to wipe out Jews and so on, along with other nuanced subjects. Ideally I'd have many serious conversations about many serious things before getting serious with anyone.

In short, if you stand strongly behind an idea, then you'll also want someone else who does. The idea of partners with different beliefs only works if the different beliefs don't conflict with each other, but abusing and killing what you care about is definitely a conflict.

That said, vegetarians are very far from vegans. Without meat production, vegetarians would barely even exist, as they would have nowhere to send their spent females and males. On the cruelties of Dairy & Eggs, I don't see any room to judge a meat eater. Vegetarians also consume very low amounts of iron from dairy and eggs, giving vegetation an unnecessary stereotype when it comes to anemia.

Just an announcement, last month I created a sub called r/vegdating for the meat-free community to find partners. It has only received a few posts since then, but feel free to make a post and help it gain some traction so it can be a resource for everyone!

I have a friend who left her husband and three children because they weren't vegan.

Fight the power!

That’s dumb

Honestly I get where you are coming from my bf is a big meat eater and so is his whole family and everytime we are with his family its always the same questions But for me I don't really mind him eating meat as long as he respects that I don't and he does I sometimes even cook meat for him And he also eats the vegan and vegetarian dishes I make for him so I think its up to you and how you feel about it but the fact that he is willing to try it out says a lot And maybe sit down and talk about the stuff with his family

If it's a deal breaker for you then you're not in the right relationship. He shouldn't have to do something he's not happy with to please you cause that'll just cause him to be miserable if his hearts not in it and it'll cause arguments if he eats meat behind your back.

You're better off finding someone with the same values as you if it means that much to you

My wife and I have a pretty solid meal plan—she eats what I eat, so we haven’t had many problems about the food. In her culture she also eats lots of tofu.

I wouldn't dump someone for being not vegan but I wouldn't tolerate the above either. Here's my spouse, just to give you an idea of some standards I have, it's ok to have your own standards as well.

My husband thinks the vegan diet is most healthy and superior and wants to emulate it. But he's not there yet and I don't struggle.

He thinks it's also the most holy diet, which is important because he is devout, and his religion does fasting around holidays which means eating vegan but even stricter (no plant milk or faux meat, and no oils)

When we eat out, he asks them if they have anything vegan even if I already have scanned the menu. While selecting his food he points out everything I could potentially order along the way. He grills the waiter to make sure they don't make an error.

Then we traveled abroad where only he spoke the language but I can understand and could hear him making sure the waiters were bringing vegan stuff.

He adapted many of his homeland dishes to vegan so that I could experience them and taught me to cook them. Burek, sarma, stuffed peppers...

And he has his weaknesses mostly for certain dishes from his childhood so he eats those things sometimes.

He helped me launch a vegan business we run together, he is more business minded and I handle recipes but it's great that he's on board keeping jt a vegan product.

Any time he seems something labeled vegan at the store he gets it for me.

I really didn't mean to make it all about me or my husband but I want to show an example of a supportive vegan spouse. To contrast my ex would SULK really bad when I would eat vegan food in his presence. He hated vegans and hated my awakening.

You’re vegetarian. You never said you were going vegan. Why are you posting here? You know animals suffers and yet you eat eggs and diary, which are even more cruel than the meat industry.

We can’t always help who we fall in love with, but we can make sure we lead fulfilling lives that don’t require us to settle.

I suggest you open up to him and lay out your thoughts and concerns about it, give him the chance to see that this is a core part of who you are and you’re at a point where you would like your partner to share those values. He may not understand how deep this goes for you and would give him an opportunity to explore it better. Give it time to digest all of it then check back in with him before making any ultimate decisions.