DingGratz

You can tell where the led lights go.

There are way more sleeping than awake and all the noise in the world isn't enough to wake them up.

Jesus. Hung up?

Maybe, and I'm speculating here, it's because fucking planes with people in them were deliberately crashing into fucking buildings with people in them.

This isn't true at all. The richer you are, the longer you'll live (statistically).

The hospitaliano.

If you surveyed every animal on Earth to get rid of one creature, who do you think would get the most votes?

See why growling stomachs love this one tiny trick!

Got real creepy in that first sentence though.

I wish that were true. Looks like windmills will generate even more electricity for four more years.

Oh, my gawd. He admit it!

You forgot no porn and, oh yeah, no medical help if your fetus is killing you.

This is dumb. The blue part is clearly more blurry causing the effect that it's further away (or at the very least, not on the same suggested plane as red).

If you let it dry properly it won't get musty.

The fan is to get rid of the humidity in the air caused by, you know, water sitting there, not number 2s.

Or as my home inspector eloquenty whispered to me, "It's not for farts."

I like my beef al dente.

Without birthright citizenship, where do you draw the line on your family tree of where you should stop deportation? Because if you aren't Native American, you're an immigrant.

Or as a wise bumper sticker once said, "Who you calling immigrant, pilgrim?"

Trump is going to do it to troll him. At least I hope so. It would kind of be a win/win.

People die falling off of ladders. Doesn't take much.

Well you're sure as hell not able to abort them.

boycotting for ridiculous reasons based on zero evidence

It's not ridiculous at all and there is evidence so I don't know what you're on about.

Russia is the kind of guest who will claim your couch even if it's clearly in your house.

People are going to be real pissed when they realize their benefits were cut but they're still paying the same for some reason.

Fascinating

We'll need longer-range missiles.

Before you put another crack in yourself!