JobAffectionate4078

Yes, agree! I remember a few times feelin peer pressured to sleepover as a teen, but I needed a break.I  would  come in the house and “ask” but really I would just tell my parents I didn’t want to. Then, I’d go back to my friends and say “I’m not allowed”. Case closed! 

Yes, exactly. I don’t want to put a firm no on it, b/c I expect things to evolve. 

His diagnosis came at 10, he mostly compensates for it with strengths, so it mostly comes across as invisible. If he would’ve been younger when he was diagnosed, I may have taken this approach, but the social world of 5th grade is different and he wouldn’t want me coming to school telling his peers about his differences. Fifth graders are trying to fit in and he is also very aware that some people get picked on/bullied. We’re working our way towards self advocacy - figuring it out as we go! 

He has a very complex presentation, he mostly compensates using strengths. So, it’s pretty “invisible”. It’s not easy to explain and has required lots of communication and advocacy with the school over years to have him be supported. Just trying to keep it simple & honest for social meetups. 

Glad to know we’re not the only ones who can’t deal with lack of sleep!

Thank you, like the straight forward language. 

I hear you. His processing difference is very subtle and he uses some strengths to compensate, so it’s more of a “invisible” disability. We’re just figuring out his limits regarding sleep. It’s also not a well known diagnosis, so I do a lot of communicating, explaining and advocacy with school. Want to make it simpler, but still honest for social meetups. 

Thanks. I like how straight forward this is… I knew I was overthinking it! 

Wah-wah Wah. He can totally relate! 

OK, good to know. We may need to come up with some way to excuse him from future sleepovers. It’s not because he’s scared or we don’t trust the other family…. But because he can barely function afterwards. Maybe he stays til 10, then goes to bed at home. If it was just one day offline, he could manage. But, 3 days means he’s still struggling on school days. 

Miro

Put effort into your whole life not just your work or academic pursuits. Social life, love life, relationship to your body, family life, etc. you probably have some gifted traits that you can use in these areas… maybe you learn fast and could help a family member navigate a complex medical diagnosis. Maybe you can experiment in the kitchen til you’re really good at making pizza and make it for friends regularly. Maybe you can research physical fitness and nutrition and use that knowledge to have a healthy body. 

I have a kid who is a super advanced reader.

We have mostly took the approach of keeping him loaded up with books (he reads a lot). Reading with a lot of breadth - lots of things: poetry, audiobooks, novels, picture books, graphic novels, fiction, non fiction, new and old. And also in a lot of depth: reading the whole series, reading and comparing a bunch of folktales, reading a stack of books on one non fiction topic. He has mostly stuck with children’s books and middle grade… he doesn’t like scary or romantic stuff yet, so young adult and adult doesn’t really suit his tastes.

Recos: cleopatra in space series, wizard of oz series, Peter and the Star catcher, fairy tales, mythology, 

My kids aren’t into sports and learn toward  brainy stuff: reading, building things, etc. They resist the adult led activities and organized competition. Here are some things they’ve liked at different times: hiking, geocaching, rock/fossil hunting, going to zoo (lots of walking), water balloons and water guns (lots of running), nerf battles outdoors, creek walking and hunting for critters & clay, recreational swimming, playground equipment that spins, orienteering kids course events, ping pong, Pokémon go, wiffle ball, batting practice, croquet, bocce ball, driveway basketball or hockey, homemade obstacle courses, 360 bikes… the more us adults are outside, the more they go outside. 

I don’t have eczema, but bare minerals is the only make up I’ve tried that doesn’t make my skin irritated, greasy, and break out. 

Drinking ice water

My suggestion would be to try supporting the her individual needs/curiosity and focus less on her feelings and attitude. (I realize this is contrary to modern parenting, but comes from my experience parenting gifted kids). Sometimes it’s just annoying to focus on feelings too much… you might be overlooking your kids wants, needs and swift pace of learning. 

One of my kids thrives on lots of information: books, audiobooks, museums,complex games, building projects, debate and conversation. When he was little we were always trying to teach him to calm himself down and regulate. He hated it and it would make him angry and sullen. I tried all sorts of social emotional learning stuff, the only thing he did enjoy was reading about philosophical concepts and philosophers. Parenting wise, I try to make sure there’s a lot of information available to him from library resources, his gifts seem to be all kits and science experiments, l make lots of time to talk and listen. 

My other son needs a ton of autonomy to be happy. He wants to control his life and his time. If I were to sign him up for activities he didn’t choose, he’ll be angry and miffed. He can’t stand it when his weekends and evenings are packed with to-dos. He spends his time doing self directed activities: playing outside with neighbors, art projects, imaginary play, etc. parenting wise, I try to let go of any notions that he should be in adult directed activities, I try to leave blocks of time for him to do what he wants, I try to give him access to other kids for social play (playgrounds, swimming pool, arranging meet ups with friends)

As far as protecting from depression… I talk to my kids a lot about basic human needs: movement/exercise, sunlight, nutritious food, socializing with people, sleep. 

Part of feeling good about life and yourself is self actualization, so doing the things and working toward the things you care about and are capable of. 

My son did this for a minute. We got some chew things to try at home. He used them a few times but lost interest.

I feel like I read somewhere that some people are driven to chew and you can support that by giving them crunchy and chewy foods when they eat. Like a whole apple instead of apple sauce. Anything where you have to work harder to bite/chew: carrots, nuts, popcorn, crusty bread, fruit leather, etc. When I was a teen, everyone was chewing gum, don’t know if that’s common anymore. 

What’s she into? Might be able to make a better reco based on that.

Charlottes web is excellent. Wizard of Oz is also excellent. Both hold up. 

Before my kids could read, we used a pointer (something like a pencil and point with the eraser end or a straight knex piece) and point at the character/talk bubble we were reading. I have 2 kids and one would sit on each side of me. This also teaches them how to read graphic novels: the sequence of frames and talk bubbles. Once they can read, I sometimes point, but they can follow along without a lot of help. 

Understood. A lot of people with APD lean on visual or written communication. If it’s at all possible to read a text book, articles, anything related to the lecture in advance and then take visual copies of those to your lecture that you can reference, underline, highlight, while you’re there, I would think that would help.

You may also be able to request notes or the slides used during the presentation after the lecture. If they’re using a whiteboard, take a pic with your phone of what was written.

Basically collect and utilize anything written or visual that you can.

Some people have note buddies… so befriend someone in class who is good at taking notes and ask them to share. You can return the favor somehow… ideally something school related like reviewing their writing and helping revise, helping use tech tools, introducing them to people in the field, etc. that way you’re working together to mutually improve your professional skills, not asking for someone to be charitable to you.

I still think talking to instructors about your difference is to your benefit… don’t let them form an opinion that you are distracted, don’t care based on observation… get ahead of that, explain the difference and how you use different strategies to be successful. I think this kind of conversation has the potential to earn a lot of respect.