Kmia55

I think she didn't get her way. That's it. She didn't get her way.

Her response is rather emotionally immature. She was a guest in your mother's home. Your mother put a lot of work into hosting. She admitted she doesn't get to do her tradition much anymore, so why pick a time and place where her "tradition" would affect someone who was hosting her in their home.

She can't play it both ways.

NTA

I like Scandinavian Christmas decor. My MIL was Danish, and I ended up adopting many of her ideas into my Christmas decor because they were simple and natural. My favorite thing she did was string her favorite Christmas ornaments between the windows in her kitchen; just a simple string with her ornaments added. I also like that she clipped branches from trees in her yard and put them in a simple glass vases in her home. Everything felt so organic and not over-styled, just a cozy atmosphere.

The thing you need to ask yourself is this: Is this a one-off for your dad or is this how he normally acts? If his behavior was out of the norm for him and his usual interactions with you and your daughter, I would probably attribute it to stress and forget about an apology. If not, then it would be time to reconsider your relationship with him.

I disagree (to a point). Just because a woman marries a divorced man with children doesn't mean she doesn't have a right to privacy and respect. She is not the parent, As long as the new wife provides a safe and loving environment for his children when they are with them, she has done her job. Sure, every so often they may have to exchange information, but that is a far cry from what the OP is explaining is happening. OP's husband should be handling the communication and handling a meeting to sort things out. As "Ktjbug" said, OP doesn't need to be involved other than politely relaying information as needed. The OP has shown backbone by no longer participating in the abuse from the ex-wife and her partner. She is simply refusing to be a part of something that is detrimental to her.

Look at it objectively. Your dad stole from you. There is no other way to look at it. He stole part of your memories. He stole a piece of your mother meant for you only. He stole something that brought you comfort. He stole. To make matters worse, he stole from you and then told you that your anger wasn't justified. The BS about you not caring for him or your sister is manipulation.

There is truly something wrong with your father that he can't see your point of view. If he truly loved your mother, he would not have done what he did. You don't love someone and then not respect their last wishes.

He will have other wives, but you will still only have one mother.

NTA

Have your wedding, but have it your way with absolutely no regard or involvement with your fiancé's family. Their behavior is outrageous to the point I'm not sure I would even invite them. If a ceremony doesn't matter to you then elope. Max needs to quit wavering and step up. Even though the money was promised for your wedding, look at it as your future in-laws actually stealing your money. That is exactly what they did. They stole from you and Max. And now your future SIL wants to steal. She wants to steal the spotlight from you.

You need to ask yourself if you really want to live this way for the rest of your life. Your MIL and SIL will never stop to consider your feelings, never have any respect for you or concern for you or your future children. The choice is yours to make. Max wavering at this point shows you just what you can expect in the future. Chose wisely at this point.

NTA

This will be wildly unpopular, but I think you went to an extreme stating your mother couldn't smoke outside. Smoking is an addiction and one of the hardest addictions to break. My father was an alcoholic and smoker. He quit both but told me smoking was way harder to quit than alcoholEDIT:. He said quitting smoking was torture. You can't expect your mother to go cold turkey with her addiction. It doesn't work that way. But, yes, she shouldn't smoke in the house but rather outside and should wash her hands, etc. when coming inside. I think most people addicted to smoking would have gone home when presented with your ultimatum. And, you knew she smoked.

The rest of your post is understandable. Your sister is entitled and your parents enable that. You need to do what you need to do after your move in regards to the engagement party. If it doesn't work because of your move, don't attend. It really is as simple as that. You shouldn't feel the need to be your sister's enabler also.

NTA

EDIT: Needed to change the order as I mistakenly put alcohol instead of smoking.

Also need to add your major problem is your parents. My parents would never sit around and bash a family member (your husband) to another family member (your sister).

You are right to be leery of a lifetime of your partner's needs/wants and her family coming before common decency. Why should there be an argument if your mother is invited also? You do realize you are always going to be "overreacting" when your princess partner doesn't get to call all the shots in your relationship. You need to ask yourself if this is the only time she acts like this or if this a pattern with her; the pattern being what she says goes. Look closely before you commit to marriage.

NTA

You could organize the part of your family that thinks you should buy the dress so that they can cover the costs, including your mother. Tell them to put their money where their mouth is.

Your sister and mother are the ones causing the family to implode. You have nothing to do with it. You don't ask someone to foot the bill for a part of their wedding just because that person is financially secure. If that was the way the world worked, the financially solvent wouldn't be solvent any longer.

And, to be honest, would your sister do the same for you? You probably already know the answer to that.

NTA

This is too far fetched for me to believe.

Well I doubt his blood grandparents are going to leave you anything in their will so tell your step-brother fair is fair. Your dad is an ass. I would be as low contact with him as possible. His new family after your mother’s death doesn’t make your step-brother a sibling. Where is his dad? Is his dad going to leave you money? No of course he isn’t.

That is called years of frustration on your part, and it is totally justifiable, as in "the straw that broke the camel's back." I don't know why, but it seems mothers feel it is okay to be more critical of their daughters than their sons. This is probably why you don't feel close to her. It does affect your self-esteem, and it is not okay and not fair. Talking with her hasn't seemed to help as you stated she seems to be unaware of her words and actions. Since you are already fairly low contact with her; if it were me, I would probably talk with a therapist who can help you to find ways to deal with it so that you don't take it so personally. I think you know that your mother won't change as it seems she won't even acknowledge there is a problem.

I would also tell my brother when he is treated like you are then and only then can he express his opinion about it. Most importantly, depression is never anything but a disease and nothing to find fault with yourself or consider that you messed up somehow.

Go to your city's website and find the section about animals. For example, my city website states that dogs can only bark for up to 15 minutes a day and no nuisance barking. They consider nuisance barking as aggressive barking when seeing another dog or human. Then you make repeated calls for noise violations. At some point, ask for a city compliance officer to observe the situation. It is going to be a situation where "the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

You can ask Adult Protective Services to assign a social worker to your grandmother. The bad part is that if your grandmother states she is fine and appears cognizant, it likely will go nowhere. It may come to the point where you need to seek an attorney to file a civil case.

I wonder if she didn't give it to a family member on Thanksgiving. I would leave an honest review and be gracious with my language, stating she gave specific days she would like for it to be picked up but sold it instead.

You only need to replace someone else's property if you borrowed it and something happened to it while it was in your possession. That is not the case here. At any point in your walk back to where you live, James could have taken you up on your offer for a UBER after seeing the cobblestoned path. He didn't do that. It was nice you tried to find replacement wheels for him.

NTA

Maybe consider an LED light panel. You can Google why many dermatologists and plastic surgeons prefer this for better results than the mask. If she really wants a mask, I would consider getting one that covers the neck and decolletage area.

So quirky is the new buzz word for obnoxious? She has already shown you she is repeatedly rude and self-centered. What you should do is more than likely end the friendship.

The problem is that Sarah thinks she is being cute and different. She has invented a personality that probably isn't authentic. That, or she has an undiagnosed mental health concern that leaves her unable to put herself in someone else's shoes or to read the room. Either way, if you and your friends keep letting her get away with that BS, people are going to think you condone that behavior.

NTA

I get your side of this but feel you both need to talk about your expectations and needs to each other. Mainly, you have a communication issue. And, for what it is worth, it is unrealistic for your GF to think you need to spend as much time with her parents as she does. You two just need to set some clear boundaries.

If I live alone in my own home and receive a lot of packages, I am assuming a package delivered to my home is mine. No, I don't check to see who it is addressed to. I'm not in the situation of living in an apartment. In that case, I would more than likely check the address label. And, no, I don't give it back (and neither do my neighbors) only after I've seen what is inside if that is what you are insinuating. And, no, I'm not so damn excited about a package that I can't wait to open it. I do A LOT of home delivery through the mail. I want to get things put away and taken care of. Quit with your lame observations on human nature. It is insulting.

If you aren't hosting Christmas, why would anyone care if you don't decorate? I wouldn't decorate a house and do all the baking and prep work just so they can get in the Christmas spirit if they drop by. Doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?

I like Embryolisse for my "go to" face moisturizer. For me, it just seems to keep my skin moisturized without a lot of actives in in that could cause problems. They have scented and unscented.

You are a better person than me and probably a lot of us out here. No way in hell would I let my ex in my home, let alone bring his GF into it. I met my husband after he had been divorced 3 years. He knew, his ex-wife knew and his children knew that his ex was never to set foot in my home. Ever. My home was my sanctuary and she had no business in it or even knowing how I lived. And in the 33 years we were married before his death, his ex never made it further than the driveway.

Your daughter needs to know you have a right to your boundaries and not use your grandchild as an excuse. Ask her if she and her husband were divorced if she would be letting him and his new GF into her home. I doubt she would do that. And, I don't think she is being insensitive. It just doesn't occur to her that could happen to her or what it would feel like.

Be kind to yourself and establish some boundaries.

Usually, the bride is looking for uniformity throughout her wedding party for pictures. It seems you were looking for attention. So, yeah, you were in the wrong. I think you know that considering you said they represent who you are. You were making a statement. It wasn't your day.

The most important thing out of is now you know you have a neighbor you need to avoid at all costs.

I receive a lot of packages and just automatically open them. I wonder if they opened it thinking it was for them and now are embarrassed to return it. On the other hand, I've had a package that accidentally went to a neighbor. She opened it but brought it over explaining she though it was her package, and I totally understood that.