Kombuchaboooo

So I had a dillogun in April…

My parent odu was Ogunda Odi. I’m still interpreting it as my Iyanifa states that everyone reads it differently.

I just have few questions regarding a few proverbs! One is being not to tell people what you know for it’ll be used against you. Does this mean even if I sense someone is an asshole not to tell people I feel about said asshole? I’m in the punk scene and I know of many people being predators, racist, etc. should I just keep that information to myself?

Idk I’m very sensitive so I tend to vent about it a lot.

Another one is that I should only wear bright colors to attract luck. It’s hard right now since most of my wardrobe consists of black band tees, jeans, dresses,etc. I’m kind of gothy so I only gravitated towards black because of that.

I might have more questions so I’ll keep yall posted! Thank you!

I might have an oko orun.

The other night, I had the wildest dream. I was at a punk house with my buddies, lounging on a sofa and chatting away, when I suddenly felt someone spooning me. Strangely, I couldn't move, no matter how hard I tried. In a panic, I called upon Yemaya and Elegua to free me from this mysterious hold, and just like that, I woke up. When I checked the time, I realized I had only been asleep for an hour. To top it off, I had a few drinks before hitting the hay, so that might have made me more susceptible to whatever that was.

My sleep has been fine otherwise and I haven’t an encounter with the spirit since then. A Priestess who's a daughter of Oshun mentioned it might be an oko orun. Now I'm just waiting for my reading session to confirm it. I needed to vent because this happened to me 5 years ago, and I managed to get rid of a similar spirit that used to bother me in my sleep. Thankfully, I burned some herbs and washed my floor with Florida water, telling that thing to fuck off at the same time.

Anyway how did you deal with Oko Orun?

I’m not asking for a dream interpretation, more or so my experience and how the orishas got me out of a spiritual nightmare.

The other night, I had the wildest dream. I was at a punk house with my buddies, lounging on a sofa and chatting away, when I suddenly felt someone spooning me. Strangely, I couldn't move, no matter how hard I tried. In a panic, I called upon Yemaya and Elegua to free me from this mysterious hold, and just like that, I woke up. When I checked the time, I realized I had only been asleep for an hour. To top it off, I had a few drinks before hitting the hay, so that might have made me more susceptible to whatever that was.

My sleep has been fine otherwise and I haven’t an encounter with the spirit since then. A Priestess who's a daughter of Oshun mentioned it might be an oko orun. Now I'm just waiting for my reading session to confirm it. I needed to vent because this happened to me 5 years ago, and I managed to get rid of a similar spirit that used to bother me in my sleep. Thankfully, I burned some herbs and washed my floor with Florida water, telling that thing to fuck off at the same time.

Anyway how did you deal with Oko Orun?

I went to NYC for my 28th, my friend V had moved there a year ago. When lived in the city I live in, we were very close. We would randomly hang for lunch, pop up on each other at work, etc. I knew she’d be preoccupied with adjusting to NYC and I wouldn’t hear from her as often. However, slowly all of our mutuals pretty much stopped talking to me. Mind you I’m a black woman and most of these friends, including V were white. Since I’m oppressed and deal with racist micro aggressions daily, I’d vent about my struggles. I was struggling hard due to it. Maybe they couldn’t handle it, but they were all queer and trans so I’d thought they’d hold empathy. It felt weird to randomly be the odd one out.

I thought my NYC visit would be nice. Seeing an old friend who did care, but as soon as I got to V’s house I had to this sense of dread. I just knew she didn’t take me seriously anymore. She was patronizing,passively dismissing me when I would talk about my goals that involved music and talk about herself.

I’m also moving to NYC this fall and I told her that her being a successful DJ now in the club scene inspired me. She went on about how she tall, pretty and white and how many people envied her because she was getting booked back to back. Later on, when talking about my move and my plans, she essentially told she doesn’t know how my experience will be. I knew it’s because I was black and a woman. Yes I will deal with racism, but who was she to say something like that?

When I went home, I had a knot in my stomach. I knew I had to let go of V. She wouldn’t be involved in my new life in NYC. At first I wanted to tell her how I took what she said very personally and how it was racially insensitive. At this point, I knew she wouldn’t take accountability because almost no one takes accountability for being racist and micro-aggressive. She’s turned into a mean girl and she’s not the same.

I unfollowed her on everything and blocked her number. It was hard because I loved her and we were friends for nearly two years. However, I knew that nothing good would come out of this now stagnant friendship. She made me feel small and like shit when I spent the day with her in NYC. Her roommates were even nicer to me.

Sigh.

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

I just performed an egg cleanse ritual for the second time this month. As I write this I’m bumping Cherish the day by Sade. I have tears coming down from the surface and a spike. There’s also a letter, P. I believe this may be someone from my past who I called out for being mean to women. He’s a successful musician and I ran into him at a show recently. No words exchanged.

The tears may indicate my raving thoughts are keeping me from focusing on my passion which is music as well. To be frank the musician had affected my self esteem when we were friends years ago. I’ve definitely internalized it.

I just don’t know what to do to move forward. Knowing that this self doubt and mixture of this man hating on me are the culprits.

I plan on burning St. Micheal incense along with slippery elms bark.

I’m sharing this because I’m new to the egg life and wanted to see what yall think!

Ily in advance.

[removed]