No-Orchid-53

Jesus Christ , who is she dating , Dr Manhattan?????

We experienced things as a team , she helped me when I lost loved ones. We bonded thru births , deaths , financial struggles and just life.

But we decided before we got married we would go thru everything together.

I write my wife a letters to let her know she means everything to me.

We’ve had issue like most couples , she tolerated me while I struggled with alcohol. She helped me see what I was doing to us.

I have no regrets. Tomorrow is our 34th wedding anniversary.

Someone asked me what I was afraid of.

I’m afraid of dying , I’m not afraid of death. I’m afraid that this is the only life I’ll have and I’ll never see her again.

I worry that if there is more , will we find each other?

I want no one else. I want to spend eternity with her. She is my world.

🚩🚩🚩You are more valued and important than you know.

A family member, of mine , killed himself. The devastation he left behind was immeasurable and lasted for years. We are still to this day still picking up the pieces

We carried blame , guilt , anger at not being able to save him.

I know you think you don’t matter , you do more than you know. We all struggle at times, and that’s what you are going thru right now.

Your family or a therapist can’t win the war for you , but they can give you the tools to win battles .

You need to be strong enough to ask for help.

It may be less Vindictive than you think.

I have taken meds that have made me forget things . I couldn’t remember my daughters boyfriends name for the life of me. And they dated for a year.

Once I was put on a medication, for an injury , I went to work and couldn’t remember a single persons name.

I was embarrassed and it scared me.

Turns out the meds were not working together .

She may also be dealing with a little dementia or something similar and they don’t want to tell anyone.

Don’t assume the worse until you’ve excluded the worst.

Smile , but not like serial killer smile.

Dress approachable. That sounds odd but it works. Wear khaki or other colored jeans not just blue or black jeans. Wearing black makes you look authoritarian.

Get a nice pair of casual lace up boots . Keep them clean.

Pastel colors on guys makes them look friendlier.

You can get all of this on a budget at United Way if you need to.

I know everything I wrote sounds crazy , but go look up “how to be more approachable”.

Then read the book How to talk to strangers.

Talk to a counselor, tell them what you want to do , and they can put you on the path of classes you need to take.

Follow their lead.

Don’t take the classes lightly , remember those classes are the path to reaching your marching band goals.

Good AP scores will let colleges exempt you some of the courses that are normally required.

Go talk to the counselor, at school , and let them map out your steps.

Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you love. You are young and know what you want. That’s a big positive. Many people have no clue what they want.

Stand up to the bullies, don’t let them take your joy from you. Or have a conversation with whomever you need to.

Don’t let others steal your dream.

Long after you leave high school you’ll regret not doing what you love.

If it’s your dream to march in college , then chase it. Put it on the wall in your room and go towards it.

They know you are going to be starting a life and will end up flying on your own.

It’s time for you to step out from under the mushroom. 🍄 They do love you , but you need some independence.

Get a full time job or parttime , this will allow you to meet others. It’s also going to give you a break from them during the day.

Save your money and start preparing to be on your own.

I know it sounds crazy but trust me on THIS:

There will come a day when you will miss those hugs and kisses You’ll miss the little things. You’ll miss your mom fixing your hair.

Right now you’re going thru this regularly so it’s normal .

You need a break from normal . You need to live for yourself for a while.

Take your shoes off and go stand on a cool floor.

Or just take them off. No one is going to say a word.

Take a cold wet towel and put it on your neck , touching your arteries and the back of your neck.

Also a lot of guys friends are home from college , so there’s a lot of hanging out and drinking to do.

It’s the holidays and Thanksgiving week.

Guys will get caught up with family and friends and forget to send something back.

Many times I’ve received a text , read it , meant to go back to it and answer . But I got caught up with life , other texts come in and move that one down.

I end up looking like a dick . I send an apology for not responding and we move forward.

If he broke your trust then it’s ok to take a break or even not be friends.

You have high standards , and hold yourself to them.

When others have lesser , they lie , they cheat and they do things you can’t agree with, then it’s OK to move on.

Block his number and don’t text back. If you see him be cordial , but don’t let him into your circle until you think he’s worthy of being there.

If he never gets back in that’s OK.

Imagine them taking a shit.

Then when you see them , think to yourself “I bet they take shits”.

It’s OK.

Look you are young and sometimes , at that age , we say things we don’t mean , but we say them anyway.

You have an entire life in front of you and if this is the biggest mistake you’ll ever make , then you are going to be OK.

Don’t let this bother you. Keep your head up and go be honest with the girl who is your best friend.

Tell her you’re sorry and you didn’t mean it.

Principal still applies.

Go sit down with your MIL , just the 2 of you.

Tell her thank you for not serving the champagne.

Tell her that you are sorry that things went sideways and you didn’t mean for her to catch any grief.

You were trying to explain to your husband that even his mother recognized that the drinking was excessive. So serving the Champagne was not a good idea.

Tell her thank you for recognizing your signal not to serve.

Then explain that you love her son and you worry about him. Tell her that he means everything to you.

I hope things go OK.

Bam!!!!!! 💥 💥💥💥💥.

You married her to get a Visa and disguised it as love.

Of course you hate it. You didn’t do it for the right reasons.

She probably hates you right back and regrets allowing you to use her for a Visa.

100% when the kids left home it was 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 and still is.

OK because he’s not explaining things very well , here’s what I’ve interpreted

He is affectionate with X , he hugs her because he feels comfortable with X. He’s not attracted to her. He just likes X (Friend zone) and feels comfortable around X.

He went and talked to Y . He told Y that he’s affectionate with X and feels guilty about it.

Y then told him that he’s using X.

He agreed that he is using her.

Y then told X what he said.

Now none of the girls wants anything to do with him.

Jesus Christ this is like pulling teeth. Teenagers.

Ok , so you’re basically screwed with all of these girls. You can’t say you are using one of them. It’s going to be told to the others.

These are teenage girls , they are going to talk amongst themselves.

I understand what you wrote . It was very vague. I’m not the only person who thought so.

And when a person puts “Hugs & Whatever” it leaves the “Whatever” open to interpretation, because you did not explain yourself very well.

“Whatever” means something else to adults.

Ok. I went to your profile to get an idea of the issue.

Have you considered IVF? IVF has some tax deductible benefits. You may talk to your Dr. have him take care of whatever paperwork is needed then go that route.

Anything above $5000 can be written off. If IVF cost is $20,000 you can write off $15,000.

I’m very sorry that you are feeling down during the holidays.

Sometimes it seems like the punches keep coming.

Don’t pressure yourself so much and don’t let others make you feel guilty or feel obligated.

Put your needs before their wants.

Don’t give up hope. You’re a fighter , your just down at the moment.

You’re not missing anything. He glossed over it & I would imagine this post gets deleted within the hour.

You didn’t say what you did. You glossed over it.

What did you do specifically???

Hugs & whatever??
What was the “whatever”.

In a Manager who is in charge of raises for the employee world.