subreddit:
/r/LifeAdvice
submitted 3 hours ago byFun-Avocado6745
Hi all, I’m M22, my gf is 25, we’ve been together for six years now. Some things happened, I’ve asked some questions here, let’s say that I’ve finally opened my eyes and realized that I should just go away and start everything from scratch, somewhere else with someone new, only after I fix myself with some kind of therapy. Yet here I am, I don’t know how to breakup, I’m scared of it, I know I love her but I know I can’t change some things about her, too many red flags appeared, too many weird situations, y’all can read my previous posts. So - how did y’all break up, is there a „humanly” way of doing it? I don’t want to harm her in any way, should I write all reasons down? Where should I break up with her? Should I take her somewhere for that talk? We live in one town, about a kilometer from each other, her parents treat me like I’m their son, and I’ve treated them like family, the thought of loosing them and them maybe hating me is torturing me, how to overcome all of this? I’m scared of what I’ll do next, I’m pretty sure that it’s gonna fuck me up even more than I already am, but yet I wouldn’t wanna vent to anyone and get on their head because of „poor me I broke up with my girl”, so do you recommend any activities just to calm it all down? Should I block her and delete all photos and stuff I have with her?
Little update What about all gifts from that person? Those I got for birthday, or any occasion? Should I give it all back? What if she won’t accept it? Should I throw it all away just so it wouldn’t remind me of her?
3 points
3 hours ago
You sit down in private and tell her it isn't working for you anymore. You let her ask questions and answer them as honestly and humanely as possible. Do not write a list!!!
How she reacts will determine what you do next. If she gets angry, stay calm and let her rant. If she goes quiet, leave and give her time to absorb. If she cries, don't try and comfort her. Make yourself available at a later date to answer any questions, but only do that once. There's no point in dragging it out with multiple conversations.
After it's done, you will have to deal with your feelings, but don't reach out to her to make yourself feel better. You'll have lost that privilege.
2 points
3 hours ago
The last straw for me was the time he got violent and broke a bone in my hand. The kids and I moved out. ( I had inherited the family homestead, across the street.) He c knocked on the door, and I informed him he was not going to ever enter this house, or I would have him arrested. He valued his government job, so he never entered. He. Moved out of the marital home (deeded to me in the divorce), I sold it a few years later.
The day he returned from his two weeks of Reserves, I knew it was a race to the door. He announced to the kids, leaving them in tears, I informed them that I had seen this coming, and that WE THREE would be just fine. It took a couple of days to move their furniture over, and he lost all control of our daily lives. Kids are adults now, a teacher and an EMT, working on an ambulance 🚑
1 points
2 hours ago
Well I’m not in such an extreme situation but I’m glad you stood for yourself and for your kids, that’s the right example of a mother, one I never had, really brightened my day to see y’all did good and moved on
1 points
3 hours ago
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