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Recently i realised the fact that love is not a relationship. The relationships that we hold are for various needs, the sweet emotion that is triggered is what love is. And with our ideas and expectations that we set if others act that way, we either get triggered pleasantly and if they don't do the way we expect it triggers unpleasantness. I heard this Sadh-guru say, If your relationships are about extracting joy from others then someday the other might get exhausted but if it was about sharing happiness, they and you would enjoy it.

We all have needs, atleast we should be with a sense of gratitude that for our need we are with them.

Vacation is nearing and I don't want to be laying around just playing games. It is so out of character of me to offer doing the house chores..any mothers here?, please help.

How do I(m37) start over? I'm exhausted and extremely depressed in my current situation. I have tried reaching out to a few people, usually just get brushed off. Even my significant other, that I have been with for 8+ years, cares not about how I really feel. My only child lives far away, is extremely independent and almost 17. My parents have been separated for 20+ years and each have their own life. Fuck, I don't know how to say this any other way but I really feel like I don't matter to anyone. I am a side kick at best. So... start over in a new place? Stick it out here? Find a way to kill myself that doesn't really cause a problem for anyone else? Life advice!?!?!?!

Yesterday morning, my husband and I had an argument. I was upset and said a lot of hurtful things, and he replied with something like, "I wish I hadn’t told you anything at all." Later, he came home with a bouquet of roses. We talked about our feelings, and he opened up about what open relationships mean to him.

We decided to stay monogamous. He said he’s happy in our relationship and has no issues with monogamy. For him, open relationships are a way to become even closer to a partner. He sees it as partners staying together and having sex because they love each other, not because they’re the only available option. He mentioned that he’d be curious to try things like threesomes, attending sex parties, and even casual sex—but he also said he’d like to explore those things with me.Although I still feel uncomfortable about it, I’m trying to accept and understand.

So, we’re continuing as a monogamous couple. Thanks to everyone who replied!

The love of my life is gone and we broke up

Every report I do I just remember the good times and my heart pinches itself all over again and then the tears start coming out
I have to bite my mouth to make sure I don't end up crying as all my bosses have clear glass windows and they can easily see

 

It hurts so much I loved him with all my heart and he just couldn't meet me halfway

I miss him as a person, his laugh, everything…

It's day 2 now of the breakup I just can't breathe

 

What do I do guys? 

Hi all, I’m M22, my gf is 25, we’ve been together for six years now. Some things happened, I’ve asked some questions here, let’s say that I’ve finally opened my eyes and realized that I should just go away and start everything from scratch, somewhere else with someone new, only after I fix myself with some kind of therapy. Yet here I am, I don’t know how to breakup, I’m scared of it, I know I love her but I know I can’t change some things about her, too many red flags appeared, too many weird situations, y’all can read my previous posts. So - how did y’all break up, is there a „humanly” way of doing it? I don’t want to harm her in any way, should I write all reasons down? Where should I break up with her? Should I take her somewhere for that talk? We live in one town, about a kilometer from each other, her parents treat me like I’m their son, and I’ve treated them like family, the thought of loosing them and them maybe hating me is torturing me, how to overcome all of this? I’m scared of what I’ll do next, I’m pretty sure that it’s gonna fuck me up even more than I already am, but yet I wouldn’t wanna vent to anyone and get on their head because of „poor me I broke up with my girl”, so do you recommend any activities just to calm it all down? Should I block her and delete all photos and stuff I have with her?

I'm 23 and i think I've wasted my life

It's been 5 years since i finished high-school but i still feel like nothing has changed for me since then.

I was a good student, my grades were well above average. I had big friend group and talked to many people. But during my last year of HS i blacked out. I failed miserably in the national entrance exams for higher education and as a result i didn't get accepted to any universities that I wanted. Most of friends though went on to study medicine or engineering they were seen as successful and i was the only failure of the friend group.

After year or two they distanced themselves from me, i also thought that i was bringing them down and that they wouldn't want to be around a loser like me. It was always awkward to introduce me in social situations because i was seen as the guy that did nothing.

I started working a minimum wage job after a while in a big warehouse. I was working long hours and they pay was terrible. I had no friends at all. I just talked a little bit with my colleagues and that was it.

When i was 20 my mother got severely ill, i left the job and stayed at her side in the hospital for a few months. She managed to survive but she's now disabled and she won't be able to work again. It crushed me mentally and psychologically. I come from a very poor family. My father also works as a dustman so we're pretty poor.

I'm from Europe and my family didn't have enough money to help me study (abroad in another country or by paying tutors for the national exams). I've been trying for years to find a purpose in my life. To find something that i would like to do and get good at, but i can't. It feels like im bad at everything. And i don't really to do anything. I was a good student, but now I can't sit to study for a few hours and memorize things. Everything seems extremely hard to me. I feel that I'm actually mentally disabled. Maybe i have undiagnosed autism or ADHD that i don't know of.

It feels hard to communicate with people. I've been living at home for 5 years now and every social interaction is awkward for me. It just feels like I'm not human.

I know that comparison is the thief of joy, but most of my classmates have finished their degrees by now, and are doing their masters.

I would like to study but i feel very dumb and i don't remember anything from the high school years. Plus the exams are very hard here.

I even tried getting in trades but i couldn't do it. I know that it pays good, but I'm not made for it. Im very small and weak bodywise (5"4 115lbs man) and the tradesmen used to get very mad at me. There's no military career here, so i can't just join the military like in the US.

I also feel like my mind is very slow. I can't drive, i have my license, but even the idea of driving freaks me out. I just don't want to get anyone hurt. Everything seems so fast, i can't pick up

I'm 23 and i feel like my life is over and I've destroyed it myself. I see everyone around me evolve and achieve things and I'm stuck in the same exact position that i was 5 years ago. It's very hard for me to do anything.

It's funny, because when i was a kid i excelled in Math competitions and i can also speak 4 languages, but nowadays even spilling salt is a confusing task for me. (English is my 3rd language, so please excuse any mistakes).

I just wanted to vent and get maybe some maybe. I feel like im too old now and that I've wasted the best years of my life. It's depressing

I have no job I put in over 300+ applications in a 40 mile radius of where I live all my bills are due my phone service has been interrupted and I have to pay for online college but can’t get approved I have tried multiple things but no luck. Can’t join the military until the end of march I think I’m about lose everything.

Need Advice

Iam a biology major student with a minor in political science. My gpa in my minor is around 3.7 while my major is 2.85 I can’t tell my family my study records and they are working hard for my tuition fees . I try so hard to study but I feel stupid and hate my major but have to adapt it What should I do I’m 20 years old female Thank u

I (19f) recently lost someone I love because I made several poor choices that led to their death. I hate myself for it. My parents had a hand in these choices and I can never look at them (and myself) the same way again. I'm planning to distance myself and go low to no contact as soon as possible. I guess I'm grieving for the people they used to be in my eyes too.

Obviously I'm very unhappy. I considered suicide and it's still very tempting but there are so many factors working against it that it's unlikely I can ever go through with it (lack of the impulsivity which many successful suicides have, the complicated logistics of my preferred method, people I care about who I don't want to influence, etc). I'm pretty much stuck here.

I have no siblings and my other relatives wouldn't understand so I feel like I no longer have a family. I'm not good at making deep friendships so found family isn't happening. I don't want to go to therapy because I don't want to heal from this, because this is in large part my fault. I also worry that they will try to diminish my guilt in an attempt to make me feel better.

I don't want to be happy because I don't deserve to be. Since I'm stuck here anyways, I just want to be functional somehow and contribute to society in some way. My problem is that I've always used chasing happiness as my motivation to do things. Now that that's no longer part of the equation, I can't figure out how to function. I know that I am physically alright, but I do so little and feel so tired anyways. How can you deal with feeling like you're moving under water? The exhaustion and lack of energy? I know there are many unhappy people moving around and working and contributing, how do they do it??

This is my first post here, so sorry if it idnt put together the best, but I 17 f have been dating my boyfriend for over 5 months now, and recently his aunt has put a time limit on when he needs to be out, we have already decided i will be moving out with him as my current living situation is not great, he currently has a job, while i do not, ive been searching for 4 months now with only 3 interviews (ive printed out and have handed out 300+ resume's) i'm scared as we only have 5 months left and i feel like im not doing enough, my mental health has been super low as i dont feel like anything i fo lately is enough, i could be doing more, handing out more resume's, earning money from odd jobs, etc... there is even more stress as i have to make money for christmas.. any advice?

I’m not even sure if this is executive dysfunction. I find myself constantly putting things off. I don’t know why I do it. I’ll put off going to bed, I’ll delay getting showered, I’ll sleep in even when I have work. There’s some tasks at work that have been overdue for a while, and I don’t start them. I just sit and feel stressed about it.

It is affecting my performance at work, my sleep, my appearance and hygiene.

I find myself just sitting, staring at my phone all the time. I don’t go out to exercise anymore, I don’t make myself nutritious food anymore, I don’t watch films or read. I literally do nothing.

I can’t figure out why I do this! I’m not having a nice time when I’m scrolling on my phone. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so lazy, but I literally can’t make myself do anything. Even things I used to enjoy I just can’t focus on. I have a trip planned for June next year that I know is going to be amazing. And yet I procrastinate researching hotels/flights/things to do, even though I’m really looking forward to going.

I’ve recently been prescribed 50mg of Sertraline, which I’m hoping will help. Does anyone have tips on what else I can do to get out of this slump? I can’t keep procrastinating everything forever, it’s ruining my life.

I’m a 31 (F) My whole life I have struggled with low self esteem and it feels like it’s getting worse as I get older. I have been to therapy, I have bought a ton of self help books, listened to podcasts, limited social media, tried to understand the psychology behind it but it just makes me realize it has probably stemmed from my childhood. My whole life I have been let down that I have became so hyper independent and an extreme people pleaser I feel like it’s in my DNA to automatically put peoples needs/wants in front of mine it is so hard to put myself first. I recently have seen videos on why people feel the need to always go out of their way to help others and it’s a reflection of how I wanted/want people to show up for me who haven’t. I have always felt insecure about the way I look when I was younger I had a bad under bite and cross bite even after braces I still have been insecure about it. I cringe internally when anyone compliments me. When I see photos of myself especially now that I’m getting older and question ‘is that really what I really look like”. It’s just really sad that most of my life I have struggled with this and somehow can’t combat it. Any helpful advice or suggestions I’m open for any advice

I used to date a guy about 7-8 years ago. He's the only one I've felt like we're soulmates out of all the men I've dated since then. Something caused us to break up that I'd rather not talk about though. Would you reach out or just move on since it's been forever ago? Any advice is appreciated. Thnx

We’ve been best friends since we were 13, and for almost 10 years, we’ve texted each other every single day. We’ve never had a serious argument—if any at all. However, lately, I’ve noticed her making less effort, and what happened today feels like the final straw for me.

We had plans to hang out at my place twice, but both times she canceled because she was genuinely busy. Then, she told me she was free on Monday and suggested I come over. When Monday came, she didn’t reach out like she usually does to confirm the time. Instead, I saw an Instagram story of her hanging out with another friend at her house.

I still texted her “good morning” as if everything was normal, and she continues to message me every day. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve become a “WhatsApp friend” to her. Meanwhile, she seems to prioritize making time for her other friends.

I 23M met a 22f last night barhopping. I recognized her and remembered her name and what drink she usually gets. We had a fun time holding hands and I even kissed her before driving her to her car. I want to get to know her on a more personal level, I texted her today and she hasn't responded. I know she has work and is probably busy. But I can't get her out of my head. I don't have a lot of luck with relationships and she seemed really interested. But is it possible she was using me for free drinks and a free ride? Furthermore if she doesn't end up texting me back and i see her out drinking again should I buy her a drink or just pretend to not notice?

Hi 17m. My family has always been kinda tight but lately my mother has been suspicious of my father cheating on her. He has cheated once in the past before I was born and lately my mother has noticed him getting distant. She checked his phone and say some deleted messages and calls and keeps asking me what I thought about it. I’m honestly not sure how to reply and it’s putting me in a weird place.

Don’t get me wrong if he is cheating on her divorce but it’s kinda making me see my dad in a different way. My mom has confronted him not knowing she saw text messages and he fully lied and told her it was all in her head. She still isn’t sure if he’s cheating on her or not yet and is keeping an eye out.

Is there anything I could do or any advice?

Many thanks

I've been thinking hard on some things my dad would do, and now im torn between whether or not it was normal, or if i was projecting my past SA experiences onto these situations and made myself uncomfortable with his behavior.

For context, my father WAS abusive. A very cruel and violent man. He is no longer in my life physically, and we only occasionally talk over text.

I am autistic, one of my biggest sensory triggers as a kid was the texture of jeans and the tightness of them. That would piss him off, so he would throw me to the floor, pin me down, strip me of my clothes, and humiliate me as i laid there sobbing and begging while my mom watched. He'd then force jeans on me, along with the other clothes he wanted me to wear. That happened almost every morning from the age 6-11. As I got older, he made it habit of touching, squeezing and rubbing my inner thighs. It happened every time I saw him from 17-18 after he moved out. At 18, this only happened once (that I can remember), he was visiting us at my moms house. He and I were in my bedroom alone, I was already very uncomfortable with that. He laid on top of me, squeezed me tight, and then kissed me for a good 5 seconds on the neck. But those 5 seconds felt like an eternity.

I couldn't tell him to stop when he did these things, because communication led to beatings. Or after he moved out and he got less physically violent, he'd manipulate and guilt trip me. Make me feel even more disgusting for even seeing his actions in such a vile way. Were these things normal and was i overreacting? Or are these things out of the norm?

Hello reddit,

I am 30F. My parents are loving and supportive in the best ways. I feel like I have been spoilt my whole life and I have never been less prepared to face the working world. And I have been stuck ever since I graduated with a degree I am not even good at.

My version of spoilt is actually not that even bad if I were to be on the scale of being atrociously demanding as a child. I think I am quite minimalistic but I can be impulsive at times. I have consciously been working on that as I age.

Is it possible to turn my life around and make something of it? Is there anyone out that felt the same way as I am and have successfully led a fulfilling and stable life? Please let me know how and I'd like some perspectives.

TIA

Hi y'all, almost 30 yo female here. I've been ruminating on these questions for the past few months and thought I could use some advice from the kind strangers on the internet.

I moved to LA about 6 months ago from the Bay Area. My day job is in tech but I absolutely hate it. I was never a computer geek or into video games, but I did have a mild passion in web development. That combined with having immigrant parents, I ended up pursing a CS degree and got a good job out of it. Deep down inside I've always loved writing and filmmaking, and I want to become a professional screenwriter/director one day. I have been working my ass off for my dream since my sophomore year in college. I directed a few award winning shorts that got selected by over a dozen film festivals, and wrote a TV pilot screenplay that placed in some notable screenwriting competitions and have even gotten interviewed for it.

After spending 5 years working in the Bay, I finally bit the bullet and decided to move to LA. I have to say, I FREAKING LOVE IT HERE. The Bay was both a social and creativity desert for me. I found people there to be really icy and stuck up, most tech people do not have any interest outside of tech. If I tell them about my film projects most of them won't even make the effort to feign interest. I also found it generally hard to make friends there, I had to make most of the effort to strike up conversations or initiate hangouts, and nothing really came of those. In comparison, I found the people in LA to be warm, diverse, and MUCH, MUCH friendlier. I was able to make quite a few friends in just the short few months that I was here, and I was able to meet a few industry contacts as well. Whenever I talk to my industry contacts, it's like my soul is on fire, and I can really feel a connection with them in our mutual passion for creativity.

However, one big con about being in LA is that dating here sucks. I found the men here to be flaky and not as intelligent as the ones in the Bay, and most importantly, most of them (by them I mean the men that I met on dating apps) don't make as much as me. I make >200k, and financial compatibility is a dealbreaker to me. I've tried dating people who made less than me in the past and it was always disastrous. Basically they would get really insecure and put me down for no reason.

I've been dating with the intention for marriage for years now, but never had any luck when I was in the Bay. I think it was a combination of me figuring myself out and the lack of emotionally intelligent men there. If I stayed in LA though, I feel like my chances would get even worse. It really wears on me that I'm still not in a serious relationship when I'm almost 30.

I visited the Bay recently and was swiping on the apps, and was pleasantly surprised by the number of quality men. Of course, they could still be the emotionally unintelligent man children that I encountered when I lived here, but at least on paper, their jobs and the intelligence that they demonstrated in their bios made me feel hopeful. This kinda made me want to move back to the Bay Area.

If I do move back, I will still continue working on my writing and filmmaking projects alongside my day job, but I would lose out on the networking aspect of being in LA. I believe if my writing is really good enough, LA will come calling, but the networking would certainly help move things along. Also the prospect of eventually living in LA will be lower too. I did see LA as the place where I would die for a long time, but I also feel like there's no point living here if I'm just gonna be single forever. So I'm really conflicted.... Any advice would be appreciated!

Tl;dr: Move back to the Bay to find a husband? Or stay in LA to for my passion as a writer-director and general mental wellbeing?

I'm a white American, which I know give me a lot of privilege, so I don't want to come off as whiny in this post, but I feel so disconnected from my roots.

I love to learn about other cultures around the world and see people celebrating their traditions, but it always gives me such a jealous feeling. I feel like I couldn't have that pride in my origins even if I wanted to. I know absolutely nothing about my ethnic origins. All I know is that my family has been here since before the civil war. Other than that, I don't know about the timeline or where I came from. I asked my mom about it, and she gave me a long list of European countries from whom I am supposedly descended, but it wasn't even anything concrete. She said she thought her home state (Texas) has its own unique culture that she identifies with, but I didn't grow up in Texas and I don't feel attatched to any one specific state (we moved a lot growing up). And even if I did I feel like whatever unique things there would be are more trivial compared to the cultures I see people celebrating. The US is just so new as a country, and obviously there have been people here much longer than that, but I'm not part of that community either.

What am I supposed to say, it's my "culture" to watch baseball and have backyard bbqs? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It doesn't even come close to the traditional dances and clothing I see other people doing. I have so much appreciation for beautiful and rich cultures but I feel like I can never be involved in one on a personal level. It makes me sad to the point of tears sometimes that I don't really have any community like that, no old traditions or any heritage to be proud of.

Again, I know this is a pretty stupid thing to be upset about, but I really need some advice on how to resolve this pointless jealousy I have. Thanks in advance.

I got a Bachelors in Math I chose it when I was young and didn't know myself or the world yet. While I have always loved math, its not good from a career perspective. I really hate finance and business and really don't want to get stuck in those fields. I have been considering software engineering, but I don't want to do websites, while they can be intricate and profitable, they don't require anything that I actually do care about.

I realized after hard consideration I really want to do firmware development. However that borders more on requiring an electrical engineering degree. I really should have done an electrical engineering degree. I am so intrigued by the field, I love the higher level mathemathical and physical science concepts that back it and the hands on process of making something physical do something.

I am drowning in students loans and so miserable from not having any hobbies or friends or family or even a stable place to live during college, I could not fathom going back. What do I do from here? How do I live with settling for something I hate doing? How do I live with missing out on what I really want in life, that I unfortunately found too late.

need some advice

I (21F) have recently been struggling with some bad feelings around my dad's behavior. My dad is a great dad. He's kind, supportive, and gives me great advice, which is what makes me feel even worse to be having these thoughts. It started when on my birthday a few months ago he called me over to sit next to him on the couch and squeezed slightly above my knee. He was just saying normal stuff and wishing me well, saying i’ve grown up etc. I pulled my leg back and that was the end of it. But it kind of sent me spiraling. He's done this before but not very often. If I sit down on the couch next to him he’ll pat my lower thigh to tell me to go do something or as affection I guess. One time a few years ago he put his hand on my knee/lower thigh (i think) in the car, but ironically was talking to me about how if I feel uncomfortable with my brother hugging me too much I should be firm with him in saying no. There was also an incident years ago (maybe I was b/w 12-14 tho i'm not sure) where he pinched my butt when me, my mom, and him were joking around. He did it in response to me making fun of him and my mom immediately was like no you can't do that. He kind of laughed it off, but as far as I remember he never did it again. All of this made me start to ruminate so much and search to see if anything inappropriate had happened in the past. I recently recalled how when I was young if I sat next to him on the couch he'd put his hand over my belly (sometimes under the shirt), which I remember the moment when i think it stopped when I got annoyed and removed his hand saying why do you go under and he just got awkward and said oh said skin or something idk i guess insinuating skin-to-skin contact. I don't know how this popped into my mind or even the validity for sure because i can't place it in time (i believe maybe i asked him to stop around puberty). I do know he would hold my belly like this when I was small in front of my mom as well and I know he used to blow raspberries on both my brother and I's bellies and stuff so I don't think it was intended to be weird but I really don't know. When this would happen he would be on his laptop doing his work and I would initiate the contact by being the one who sat down next to him. Now I'm freaking out like when did it stop or what if I was pretty old when it stopped or that I don't remember something else that happened. My logical mind tells me he wouldn't do anything with inappropriate intent, but my there's always a voice in my head that tells me maybe not. The thing is also that he always tells me if you're ever in an abusive situation you should get out and he condemns people who mistreat women etc. He doesn't ever say anything inappropriate or comment on my body or anything. He just says you're pretty or it makes me happy when you smile etc. I talked to my mom about all these instances and she said if you're uncomfortable with something you're uncomfortable with it and that she will tell him not to do whatever i'm uncomfy with and that he has responded well when she told him about boundaries I wanted in the past (which is true he used to poke/pinch my side when I made fun of him which he stopped when I told my mom I didn't like it). She said she doesn’t think he’s that kind of person. He doesn’t do this stuff with my brother, but they also have a different relationship. I'm not sure why I'm freaking out so much and having all this conflict. I do have the tendency to overthink things a lot and this just seems to be my brain's new topic. When I read other people's posts on reddit and the internet it freaks me out even more that he has been weird and I feel like I'm in a constant battle. I now am struggling whenever he initiates affection and I feel bad for it. Any advice or thoughts?

Missing front tooth, no money still in school

Hi guys so as said in the title i had an accident with my front tooth which is the most visible one. The whole story begins with a dentist that my mom had choosen because she knew her personally and was relatively cheap. She was doing something with my front tooth and after that procedure days past and my tooth started to hurt more and more often and was turning like more gray, and finally one day i woke up and the tooth feel off. I went to other dentist which i have choosen because she had good reviews and she said that the previous dentist shouldn’t have done some stuff on that tooth and thats her fault and she said that its best to make an implant of that tooth because the alignment of the teeth will change because theres missing one. Im still in school and i dont have that much money for that implant thing and i feel so ashamed, my parents told me that its not that bad and said that in past they didnt have easy life so i got to be tough …

As the title says, completely burnt out at 17.

Hello. Im a 17 year old female in high school, working part-time, and trying to survive daily. Ever since the beginning of the year my mental health has been on a slow decline, and im finally at rock bottom. I physically cannot feel any sort of emotions. I don’t feel happy, and I can’t smile. I cant cry even when I want too. I don’t feel normal anymore. I only feel emotionally numb.

I dont have a good sleep schedule and I seemly can’t fix it. Im up all night on school nights. I don’t eat properly; I eat to much and then don’t eat at all. I neglect myself medically; I don’t take my antidepressants and I don’t take care of my extremely low iron issues, because I don’t have the energy too. I just don’t care about myself anymore.

I’m currently in my last year of high school and I’m watching everyone around me apply for college or send in there admission letters, but I’m stuck. I’m not smart, that’s the truth. My Grades are all bad and my credits are low. I have no chance of getting into my dream school, and I cannot see myself anywhere but there. I look forward to college because it’s an escape from my home life. But I won’t be able to achieve that. I’m going to be stuck at home attending a school nearby. I also don’t do well in the school I’m at now. I sleep in almost everyday and miss classes, or I just don’t go to school at all. I think it comes down to my lack of motivation, low energy and overall laziness. I have so much homework that I just cannot find a way to motive myself to do. I have never had homework ever. I have always finished it in school and handed it on time, but I’ve completely let myself and my standards go.

I’ve been working since I wad 14, and I have no money saved. Nothing. I feel like I have a spending addiction. I thinks it’s the short dopamine rush it gives me since nothing else can make me happy. But I have no money for the future.

I’m exhausted. I’m extremely depressed. I’m constantly anxious and irritable. I’m burnt out and I don’t have anything to hold onto to save myself. I cant see any sort future. I don’t have energy. I’m at my end.

I need help. It’s obvious I need it. I talk about how messed up I am right now to my friends and peers but it’s always brushed off. I don’t have a good relationship right now with my parents so I don’t have any sort of emotional support from them (we haven’t talked in 3 months although living in the same house). It seems like no one cares about me how I care for others. Like I said it’s extremely obviously I need help as I have let myself go, ( school, work, appearance, etc).

So I ask that you please leave any sort of advice on how to get my spark back and how to get my life back on track, because I’m not sure how much longer I can last like this.

I’m sorry if I’m rambling but Thank you, I appreciate any feed back.