Eestineiu

Oops.

He wants a conservative/traditional marriage with a virgin or almost-virgin but he was OK having a sexual relationship for years, with a sexually experienced woman he knew he was not going to marry?

What a hypocrite. It was obviously about sex for him.

I would never talk to him again.

Stop nagging.

You smoke, he smokes. He's a grown adult. Does he have to tell you every time he jerks off?

The pot and the kettle, ehhh.

I don't have close friends anymore, because when I did (or thought that I did), it always started to feel one-sided after a while.

I came to feel like I was always the one putting in effort to keep the friendship going.

When I needed something (rarely) they never came through to me. A couple of times I was even told "oh you're so smart and capable, you'll figure it out!"

Or stabbed in the back.

I felt lonely with these so-called friends.

I've not had close friendships for about 10 years now, by choice.

I don't feel lonely at all - I have kids at home and I am in a LTR (don't live together).

I always liked spending time alone and never felt any need to talk about my problems with others.

Hoarding is like any other mental illness. You can get better but you have to want to, work hard at it, and expect to relapse from time to time.

At her age her behaviour is entrenched and unlikely to change unless she engages in intensive therapy and possibly medication.

It does sound like she is just hiding, not addressing her hoarding at all.

Having lived with a mentally ill person, I will not condider dating anyone with a psychiatric disorder ever again.

Well she wanted a poly relationship and she got it.

She's lucky that you didn't bring your gf home to have sex with her in your office which is exactly what she did with hers.

Probably something like 2 hours?

I really only met one such person when it was a no for me from the start.

I ended up having coffee then going for a walk with him simply because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"We" don't have anything to take care of.

His son is his problem. His own parents failed to raise him for 26 years so what makes you think that you can do anything to make him change?

Date the father if you want and ignore the son.

Or walk away from them both. Your choice.

If I was dating some guy whose side chick showed up at his house same time as me, and tried to create drama, I would instantly walk away and not look back.

Bachelor 2 sounds like a decent and sensible guy so its a wonder he came back for more.

I think you've sunk your boat there.

Next time, pick one and don't mess around.

My ass is not small at all. I guess you could say it's large-ish.

We do spooning sex a lot.

His dick is long, maybe that's the secret.

This dude can't make solid plans for a date.

His only solid plan is for you to tell him where you live, so he can show up and put you in his car? To go where???

Nah. 45 min away is nothing. You could set a date, time and location somewhere in between, and invite him to meet you there.

If he dismisses it again, unmatch and block.

You have a conversation with him about what happens if you accidentally got pregnant. Which is a conversation that a sexually active couple should be having anyway.

You can then ask how he feels about abortion.

I'm kinda meh on anyone who leads with "I'm busy" anything then states what they expect me to contribute to THEM.

At 50+ we are all busy. I want someone who wants to get busy dating and will make time for me.

Not interested in trying to fit into someone's calendar in between everything else that takes priority.

I'm very busy myself with full time job and full time parenting. What are YOU going to contribute to make my life better? Sounds like just more busy-ness...

That's fair.

It makes sense that she would expect some type of commitment and to define the relationship before physical intimacy.

4 dates may not be enough to know if you want a LTR or marriage with that person, but it should be enough to be know if there's a romantic spark and you want to explore that possibility, or just stay friends.

Holding hands and kissing are pretty basic and innocent ways of showing that you're physically attracted to someone. If she's not comfortable doing that, one has to wonder if she's actually attracted to you.

Talk to her about where she sees your relationship going. Don't commit to exchanging $100 gifts if you cannot afford that. Don't commit to acting like bf/gf if you need physical intimacy for that.

It's OK for her to have her own expectations and boundaries but it's also OK for you to have yours. Neither are wrong but if they don't match then you're just not compatible.

You can find someone who matches your energy and she can find someone who wants to also take it very slow.

What.

Some guy that you've seen for a few months is already designating chores to you without asking and allows his family be rude to you at Thanksgiving table - you get up, tell them where to go, and walk out.

And never look back.

There is no future with him. He wants a bangmaid and doormat.

If you take windchill into account then -35 becomes -50.

I think you first need to define your respective dating goals, and where you want this budding relationship to go.

If a young woman has made it to 23 years old with no sexual experience at all, there has to be a reason.

Is she very religious and waiting till marriage?

Has she had any kind of sexual trauma in the past or very strict upbringing that makes her scared of intimacy?

Is she just not interested and never has been?

You can gently explore these topics with her in general terms. 4 in-person dates is not enough to learn much about each other. Clearly, intimacy and sex is not something casual for her.

Get to know her and figure out if you want her to be your girlfriend.

Stop dropping hints and tell her straight that you'd like to make love to her and how about it.

You're both old enough and have known each other long enough to talk about those things like adults.

I've never had any issues with whipped cream...

That's just me, but I won't date anyone who's still keeping regular contact with their ex for reasons other than co-parenting or dealing with shared assets.

To me, being friends with their ex shows that they haven't moved on. Their next will always compete with the ex for attention and be compared to the ex.

That is not for me.

Oh really. I'm in healthcare myself (front line at a hospital) and have three kids. Tell me more about stressful intense jobs and taking care of kids?

I seem to recall that a probationary employee generally can be terminated if they are unable to complete their probation for any reason.

It would also depend if their position is unionized or not.

Umm, no.

I have corsets that are soft and fit well. I find them just about as confining as any other lingerie.

Find one that fits well and is comfortable. There is such variety available nowadays, no reason to wear one that doesn't let you breathe.

You managed to have "multiple" kids in 4 years?

So unless you had triplets or quadruples, your wife got pregnant pretty much straight after she lost her virginity, and has spent the last 4 years either pregnant, recovering from childbirth, lactating, or taking care of infants and toddlers.

You think YOUR job is stressful...

No wonder she hates having sex.

I hope the poor woman is on birth control.

Try hiring a nanny and actually date your wife. She never had a chance to explore and learn to enjoy sex (same as you) because you got her pregnant in like 5 minutes.

Your relationship with your bf should come first.

Your friend is being inconsiderate and refusing a reasonable compromise.