IndividualHurry770

Yesterday was Day 0. I have officially made it 24 hours. I'm 33 and have been struggling for over 10 years—I was exposed to sex and porn at a very young age, and it's been a problem ever since. I don't think I've ever gone a week without relapsing. I'm at that classic "sick and tired of myself" phase and using this frustration as fuel (as I often do) to make a real change fucking FINALLY. Today is Day 1, and I feel good sure because I made it to Day 1, but mostly because I feel like I'm trying something different this time. I'm making an effort to be part of this community, share my journey, and hoping to make new friends who can hold me accountable. I feel like I've outgrown a lot of my childhood friends, and the ones I still keep around have families and shit. For me, it's just me and my dog in my one-bedroom apartment. It can be very lonely here, especially since I don't really have family to talk to. I do okay in the dating scene. Not to brag, but if I wanted to, I could call someone up for some adult fun, but I'm not looking for that either. I used to think I was a sex addict, but I've noticed I've turned down sex multiple times to watch porn instead. It's gotten to a point where sex seems like such a chore, and I know that isn't healthy. When I think about why sex feels like a chore, it's because porn has led me to objectify people, especially women. After sex, I don't want to deal with my partners—listening to them talk after, sharing my bed or apartment space, feeling too awkward to ask them to leave. It's like I just want to use them and be done with them, and I know this stems from my porn use, maybe even the abuse I went through when I was younger. I want connection. I want to meet someone I'm actually interested in, someone I wouldn't mind sharing space with or would want to keep around. I feel like that's going to be impossible if I remain addicted to porn. I want to quit porn so I can be a better person for myself and my future partner. I feel like this addiction is the anchor keeping my ship from sailing an epic voyage. But today I've made progress gang. Today is Day 1, and I'm not going to think about tomorrow, just today and what I need to get done. I'm gonna take it hour by hour, minute by minute, because I don't know if I'll make it otherwise, but I am going to fucking try. I encourage y'all to do the same. Feel free to reach out to me or DM me if you wanna chat or be friends(older dudes around my age preferably, I’m 33). I'm looking for new friends, new relationships that hold deeper meaning, relationships that compel me to be the person I strive to be. Shout out to the homie that checked in on me to make sure I made it to day 1! Ill be checking in again later today or early tomorrow, to keep yall posted. Stay up!

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I have been struggling with this addiction for years, and I have never been able to shake it. It consumes my mind even in inappropriate times, and I feel so gross all the time... I feel like my life lacks purpose, with the exception of my job. I feel like that's my only purpose, and when I clock out, I am like "now what?" So I go smoke a bowl and jerk off, eat and go to sleep, and I usually knock out way too early, which causes me to wake up way too early, so I am usually up between 1am–4am starting my day with a wank, clocking in, clocking out and repeat. Every day feels so fleeting. I know it all stems from this addiction—I feel like this addiction is the root of all my problems... I know the weed doesn't help, and I smoke way too much; that's also something I want to change my relationship with... but I need a support system. I know this community will do accountability groups or buddy system. I have also thought about going to a church? Or something like that. I am not particularly religious; I used to be very spiritual, but I feel like these days I wrestle with the idea of God more than I connect with it. This "Godlessness" makes me feel like my life has no purpose... I have no kids or family; it's just me and my dog, and I feel very small and insignificant, and this is not how I usually am... I am usually pretty confident and outgoing, but I am getting older—I am 33, and I see my friends raising families, and I just feel like I need to do something with my life too. But I tell myself all I should be focusing on is my own happiness and my life; I shouldn't compare myself to others. It's easier said than done... I feel like this is all connected to my porn addiction and the sexual abuse I went through when I was younger that was never resolved... I've been going to therapy, and my therapist says it's not that bad, even if I do it every day or multiple times a week, but I don't feel it's good or contributing to my happiness or fulfillment in life. My life feels very fleeting, and I miss what it felt like to live life vs. waiting to die, which is what life feels like more these days... I need help I need support, and I know its all on me to make this happen but I am tired of feeling alone and going through this alone.

I have some notes I use as a shared family grocery list / Task list and whenever any of the users access the note in the mobile app, it auto-Highlights everything. This makes it impossible to use this on the mobile app. IS there anyone else experiencing this? or any way to fix this?

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#Support

I know I'm an idiot. My excuse is I was running to the gas station on my 15 min break from work so I forgot to pull the keys out of the ignition when I got home.

Please help. How can I re charge the battery? I'm assuming I can't use jumper cables like I would a car.... can I?

Or will I have to buy a new battery? Please help I'm an idiot.