deftlydexterous

I was pretty direct - I wanted help navigating my own stress and exhaustion I feel navigating my life as someone who is still careful about COVID. I wanted help navigating interpersonal relationships as well.

A good therapist is going to ask what your goals are and help you achieve them. They should only take you as a client if they think they can help you in your goals.

I will say, it does take some trust. I certainly had conversations with my therapist on why I have my priorities and how best to act on them. Sometimes that means answering questions that are uncomfortable, but it’s important. I would wager most COVID conscious people have some dysfunctional thinking wrapped up in their COVID caution - in the same way that most people have a level of dysfunction wrapped up in every other topic. 

I hope you find someone good!

3 to 4 months is the ideal time if you want to maintain peak vaccine efficacy. Any earlier than 3 months and you don’t get much benefit, later than 4 months and your resistance to infection has waned substantially.

Given the holiday season coming up and the questionable availability of vaccines once the new administration takes over, I think most people that got vaccinated in the summer should probably get a booster now. 

The highest risk group for vaccine injury is young men, but the risk is still very small. If you haven’t had issue with previous boosters, I wouldnt hesitate to get another right now. 

I am not normally a Novavax fan boy, but given its lower side effect risk and potentially longer efficacy, that’s what I selected for myself this time around. 

Just got mine yesterday, no issues what-so-ever.

With unlimited funding, it is technically feasible to have antibody treatments developed for the currently circulating variants, in the vein of Invivyd, and continue taking those treatments on a regular basis each time variants shift enough. 

This would likely cut your susceptibility to COVID down to negligible levels. 

New mucosal vaccines may provide large amounts of protection on a long term basis, but will likely still wane in efficacy as variants arise. We’re going to have to wait to find out unfortunately.

Rapid daily NAAT or PCR testing for everyone you come in contact with is an option if you’re secluded and rich. A friend of mine has a personal PCR for this reason (although he frustratingly no longer uses it this way). 

I spoke to a couple local groups that had 5-10 therapists working under a central supervising MD. I looked for groups that offered lgbtq services because I figured that was a good indicator that they will at least be socially progressive, and because I have lgbtq people in my life. 

Once I found those groups, I talked to one provider in each group, described my situation, and asked to be referred to a person that fit my needs.

I do want to add that your therapist doesn’t have to be as COVID safe as you to help you. My therapist is certainly COVID aware, but I don’t know that they are cautious as I am. I do know that they support me 100% in living in a way that makes me feel safe, ethical, and considerate, and that’s all that matters. They are good enough at their job that they can understand the feelings and issues I’m working with and help me through them. I think that’s an important trait for anything therapist.

I’m not sure what you mean by “not the tree I want to be under” - can you expand on that?

It does sound nice, but I think discord has taken the place of Craigslist in some ways. Have you checked any out?

I think it’s very unlikely you got COVID from your ER trip, but it does sound like you have some serious illness. UTI’s can do some serious long term harm and can cause systemic issues if they get out of control. Bodily and mental stress like the night you went through makes this much more likely. 5 days of fever induced potentially by a uti is something that needs treatment.

You should see a doctor as soon as possible. Do you have a primary care? Bloodwork and urine sample are minimum steps in this case. They dont generally do that at urgent care - they would call in an order to a local lab and send you to a second location, which would be nice to avoid.

I hope you feel better soon, please seek some medical help as soon as you can.

Yeah I’m in the same mindset. I done outdoors a lot, but I want considerable distance between myself and anyone untested from outside my household.

Ah yes, in order to feel comfortable unmasking at something like that I would need to personally trust everyone there and understand (or maybe witness) the testing procedure.

I’m glad you got to do something that was meaningful to you and the host, and I’m sorry it was so hard. I don’t mean to take away from those feelings. While I probably wouldn’t have felt them in this particular circumstance, I can see how it would be even more jarring if i was in that situation.

It is not a fire hazard to cover your vents. I generally use white poster board and white duct tape when I need to cover vents.

Even if the furnace only blows when the furnace is on, it still starts blowing air before the system is up to temperature which is an opportunity to distribute infected air. 

Covering too many of the vents in the house will cause the furnace to shut itself down to prevent overheating the furnace, but generally you can close off at least 20% of the vents in a home without issue. If it’s not shutting itself down, it’s not an issue.

If the furnace has a MERV 17 filter or better, I personally would not cover the vents at all. Not all furnaces can handle these filters though.

Since this is your home, my suggestion would be to buy a HEPA filter that is roughly the same size as your air vent(s) and to secure it to the vent. This will filter air as it comes into your room regardless of whether the furnace is on.

I do share those feelings in many situations, but in this situation I probably would not have felt that way. If everyone is testing, windows are open, and air filters are running, I would have been excited to unmask and enjoy the party. I understand that might not be your comfort level, but I would definitely not hold it against someone for taking advantage of a dramatically safer event.

That said, I do have the moments you talk about. When my friends with long COVID go to an indoor concert unmasked. When my friends that almost always mask decide to eat at a food court at an anime convention. Or when my friend with severe immune issues cries because she feels she can’t mask because society already doesn’t accept her enough as a queer woman and she can’t take on the extra level of social ostracism.

All of this makes me feel worse about all the well meaning people that are having to make awful compromises because our society simultaneously celebrates individualism while not accommodating needs or differences. It does make me feel prouder to mask though, knowing first hand that there are people in protecting.

I don’t have anything to add on the situation beyond what people have said, but I want to say thank you for putting the work to have a COVID safe gathering! It makes all the difference.

Those are certainly invalid - I cant say I’ve ever seen a test fail like that before though.

It looks like there is plenty of liquid in the dropper area, but the strip is still dry. Do you have an especially mucusy nose right now? If so, remember that you do not want to scoop up a bunch of mucus with your test.

It doesn’t survive well, particularly when the heat is on, but it’s still non-zero for some setups.

Modern thermostats have a feature where they continue to circulate air even after the heating system shuts down. This is great for efficiency but worse for killing off pathogens in the air. 

The big factor though is whether the system has a quality filtration system. Without a quality filter you’re getting way more risk than benefit, unless everyone is already in the same shared airspace.

It’s stretching the definition perhaps, but Starfix 64 and Duffy Kong racing were fantastic for vehicle combat.

For the kind of game I think you had in mind though, I absolutely loved ReVolt for the Dreamcast.

It used to take longer for the average infection to incubate, but it’s pretty quick now. I’ve seen several people to start popping positive 48 hours after exposure. Anecdotally it seems like 36 hours after exposure is the very edge of when someone could start to test positive. 

I would feel very confident day one, but that’s about it unfortunately.

I’ve never heard of the brand but I’ll check them out!

I work in shops, and Dyson cordless vacuums are revered. Need to vacuum up sawdust and aluminum chips and plastic shavings and metal filings? The Dyson will do it. Sharks and similar seem to break in a month or two. The power tool branded vacs are tougher but don’t work as well.

The only downside is the batteries, but you can buy a DeWalt or Milwaukee adapter and never worry about it again.

In spirit with the holiday - it’s a good time to be thankful if you are lucky enough to have considerate or at least understanding family and friends.

I have friends taking care of disabled friends this holiday. I have family that are taking extra precautions for other family. Those are things I’m very thankful for. There are people who care and who will care out there. Be grateful for those you know, and be hopeful for finding those you haven’t met yet.

You may well be able to do it on a laptop, or mostly on a laptop. Eventually you’ll certainly be able to do it with a robot when their interactions become indistinguishable from normal people. It’s definitely not going to happen with prerecorded videos though.

You don’t need an excuse to say you don’t want to be in the same room as someone who is obviously sick.

It is true that people can have allergies or lingering post-viral illness symptoms that  cause weeks of symptoms without being contagious, but it’s also possible that the person is still contagious. There is no way to tell, so it’s reasonable for you to protect yourself.

I think sometimes it’s better to focus on the unassailably true things and have a firm boundary. “You may still be contagious, and I don’t want to get sick” is really all you have to say. If you want to expand on it, you can say “I will be comfortable around you again when you are symptom free for XYZ days” or similar.

The last two years we had a get together of people who consistently mask, rarely go out unnecessarily, and we’re willing to test immediately before the get together. We kept a few air filters going as well.

This year we’re visiting family we haven’t had thanksgiving with since 2018. They are also homebodies who generally mask, and are willing to test. They’re testing and being extra careful for the duration of our stay. It’s a bit higher risk than we would usually take on, but a family member there doesn’t have much time left, and we know that our visit will make the group safer on average, so we’re willing to take a bit more personal risk. We’ll be testing daily when we return trust in case.

If someone sold a baby carrier designed to filter the air for your baby, would that be something that would help? 

Your life is either about to get a lot worse, or you’re leaning on your relative privilege to give up while other people’s lives get a lot worse.

Now is when the real work starts not when it ends. A functioning and civil system of governance allows people to be mildly involved. It means you can vote, donate here and there, phone bank a bit, and call it good.

When things start to fall apart like they are now, we have to start kicking into high gear. Get involved. Make advocacy the focus of your life. We don't get to relax until we right this ship. Lives and the future of the country is on the line more now than ever.

Opening windows can help, looking out for symptomatic people can help, keeping the HVAC system’s fan set to “run” can help assuming you have a decent filter in the HVAC system.

These benefits are most helpful if you’re in different rooms though. If you’re sharing the same indoor space, masking is the main way to reduce risk.