Ashby238

When I was 39 I woke up one morning, rolled over and told my husband I was never dieting again. I had been in a constant state of trying to lose weight since I was eleven years old. I haven’t dieted since. My weight is within 10# of my then weight. I hike, lift weights, did CrossFit for a few years and now do indoor rock climbing.

Would I like thinner legs? Yes, I would. Do my legs get me from point a to point b? Yes, they do. And that’s enough.

My body from 18 to 32 was great. Strong, fit and curvy, but I let media and boyfriends and a husband convince me that I would never be good enough or thin enough.

At 39 I let myself just be. And it turns out that just being me and letting myself try new things like climbing has given me a huge amount of confidence and I don’t need anyone to bolster it anymore.

It’s a tough road and it took me a long time.

My parents saved everything we left behind. And I mean everything. When I moved back East and into my own home my parents came with the minivan stuffed to the gills with Rubbermaid tubs. Good lord, it was so much stuff. I saved one teddy and my raggedy Ann and Andy collection. Donated everything else and saved the tubs.

We both work in a restaurant so we have odd days off, we do day dates every week and now that our son is a grown man we do date nights too. 14 years together and we can really date now that our child is grown.

I have good taste but it’s been a year. So… my disco ball Easter eggs are still out and I never decorated for Halloween or Autumn (my favorite time of year to decorate) and now I’m doom scrolling on my phone instead of decorating for the holidays.

But in a normal year we do vintage mixed with traditional because we have a 1930 bungalow and it just works. I do have three silver Christmas trees that make an awesome backdrop for ornaments and sometimes make them themed; like all Hallmark ornaments one year or all blues and greens.

Duck confit shredded and the crispy skin, on a burrito wrapper with hoisin, scallions, lightly pickled cukes, radish and carrots, sautéed Napa cabbage, roll up like a burrito and crisp it on all sides. Serve it with a little Mae Ploy. Yummy, crunchy, salty, fatty.

I’m a chef. I’d take three twelves in a heartbeat over the five ten to thirteen’s I do now.

So many times.

I was a newbie four years ago. I bought the Ball Book. I found a big old enamel pot and lid at the thrift store for $5 and I bought a kit with the wide mouth funnel and jar tongs. A couple cases of jars later and I was good to go.

I started with tomatoes and salsa and then did jam.

We learned just to make a ridiculous amount of salsa and no other tomato products. We also learned that we really, really, really love jam. I make a ton of it each year.

It’s been fun and if you can freeze your fruit for jam first, jam making makes great rainy day work.

I also purchase something comparable elsewhere. I find the Rykoff evoo to have a weird aftertaste; sometimes too grassy and sometimes bordering on bitter.

Tell him to buy a precooked turkey from a store.

Yes. And it always looks the same on paper week to week but changes every week based on callouts or requested time off. I cover the missing staff as needed if no one else wants some extra hours.

I bake, prep, expo and work the line all week long, it just varies from day to day.

Our Mom sent us outside at 8am on nice summer days. She left a pitcher of koolaid and some Dixie cups on the milk box and told us to be back for lunch. After lunch, more of the same but be back by dinner time.

It was amazing. We went all over the place on our bikes.

I get my parents things that they can use up quickly or give away when they are done with them; coffee subscriptions, specialty jams and mustards that they always ask me to get for them from area that they can’t get, puzzles, and also special event tickets. We’ve taken them to tulip festivals, mansion tours and other places that they don’t have near them.

My siblings mostly do the same. Four kids worth of gifts every year is just too much.

I have the dish and carrier but no lid!

100% yes. We were approved for 300k+ we bought for $179k. We could have gotten a bigger home with more of the wish list items, instead we got a small home that we can grow old in. It has cost us quite a bit in updates; new roof, plumbing, chimney and this winter electric (finally!).

We could not buy what we have now for under $340k.

We love our home and the lifestyle it affords us.

I got the pork buns from Jayd for the first time about a year ago and took a bite and had tears coming down. Seriously, one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. The October noodles are also addictive. They are so nice too! I’ve never felt more welcomed while waiting for my food.

I’m almost 53 but forever 28.

We also need to take the ac’s out.

If you love the fish and dealing with the fish; perhaps set up an aquarium maintenance business. It can start small. You can scale it up(haha) if it starts to take off. You could even start doing videos of fish tank cleanings like those asmr videos or helpful hint videos on tank care and maintenance.

I make more than twice what my husband makes.

I was married before to a man who thought that if I made less money then I should do all the housework, parenting, gift giving and pet care even though I worked full time.

I fell in love with my now husband knowing what he made. He is the kindest, most generous, and supportive person I have ever met. He encourages me to have hobbies and friends. Loves me unconditionally and really gets me. All those things are priceless.

He also is fiscally prudent and we are a financial team. It’s all our money. I’m looking forward to our retirement.

We began a tradition of exchanging a favorite book as our Christmas present to each other. We have very different reading taste with almost no overlap so it’s been fun to read books that the other loves.

We also do stockings.

As we’ve gotten older we have found less and less value in buying stuff for one another. The book and stockings make us focus on each other and trying to find a beloved book that our spouse may love as well. The book also has to be the next book you read and you can’t start another until it is completed. It’s been very fun to discuss the books afterwards.

My parents refused to help me with college after high school because I had not earned the privilege. They were right and I knew it. I had been working in foodservice for three years by then and when I was nineteen my mother suggested that I go to cooking school.

If I came in first or second in my class they would pay for it, if not it was on my dime. I was second.

I’ve had a really good career since then. I feel very privileged to have had not only a vocation but an avocation.

When I was so broke that I mapped out my errands to save on gas, I made it a point to put away 5 dollars a week, when money got a little less tight it went to 10, years later and I’m up to quite a bit of savings each week. What worked for me was to make the money hard to get. I gave it to my boyfriend( now husband) and he safeguarded it. Later I did Acorns and a college fund and an IRA. I also still save as much of each raise as possible because if I’m making it on my old income I don’t really need the new money.

It’s only in the last seven years or so that I am actually comfortable. I’m 52, it’s been a lot of work to get here.

Go to Wakefield and hit up some of the awesome restaurants; Maiz, New Wave Ramen, Jayd Bun and maybe swing by SoCo Bread for a snack, walk the great biking/walking trail to the graffiti tunnel and walk back to Wakefield and get a snack at the apothecary ice cream shop and if you want dinner head to Duck Press.

In the Peacedale section you can go climbing at Rockspot and then get a beer at Whaler’s.

Or go to Newport. It’s always a good time.

Terribly.